Yeahsussu Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Hi everyone. I´m 25 and I´ve always had high demands and expectations on myself, but it´s been getting worse during the last 2-3 years. I am currently unemployed, I just got back from living abroad and working for a year. I´ve had some previous good employers, but mostly in retail and some short trainee-jobs within marketing. The worst part to deal with is comparing myself with others. I know I shouldn´t do that, but sometimes I just can´t help it. I think my dad has always had high expectations on me, cause I´m the most social one in the family and I´ve travelled a lot. But I just feels like he´s pushing me, even though he doesn´t say it. Not intentionally anyway. When I got my traineeship with marketing at a really good company my dad said that I should try get a real job there and stay there my whole life and get settled, and not travel around so much..! This of course didn´t happen cause I went working abroad shortly after that. Last night I overheard him and mom talk in the kitchen, it´s my brother´s 30th birthday soon, and I heard dad saying that he (my brother) really should find a woman soon (he´s never really had a proper relationship) "cause he´s getting old". Like, comeon! It´s hard to try and explain how my dad works, but I guess he´s a bit old fashioned. Now it feels like he probably thinks I should get a BF asap, cause apparently I´m getting old too?? It´s hard to explain this, just feels like a lot of this pressure comes from him (my dad) even though he might not intentionally mean it. I know he only means well, but he never shows emotions. My mom on the other hand is easier to deal with I know it´s probably pretty silly to seek my parents "approval" for everything I do, how can I let go of this?? I hate feeling like i´m dissapointing them! I hate feeling as if I need to be so darn successful in everything I do, like getting a high-paid job, finding a boyfriend and settle down and have a family, stuff like that. And a pressure of trying to achieve all this within the next few years.. All this pressure comes from somewhere.... is it from me myself? I just feel like such a looser. If anyone bothered to read this I hope you can give me some advise... Link to post Share on other sites
Kristie16 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 OMG. this sounds soo much like my life. I'm 25, my brother is 28. I lived abroad after college, moved back home and now moving again. I put waaaay too much pressure on myself and compare myself to others. I like to say I do it for myself and no one else, and whenever I feel bad and my parents try to console me they say that they're happy with me no matter what. BUT five minutes later, they'll be talking about their friends' kids and how they're doing drugs or in huge debt...you know basically taking satisfaction talking about others misfortunes or set backs. How can I not think about that in the back of my mind? I've always wanted to please my parents, from a very young age it's who I am. I can't really give you any advice because I am in the EXACT same boat. but the comparing yourself to others, there's a saying I tell myself over and over: You can't compare yourself to others because you don't know what their journey is about. Link to post Share on other sites
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