cookiexoxo Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 My boyfriend of three years broke up with me and now I feel like the world is crashing down on me. I'm starting to feel somewhat depressed. He really didn't give me a solid reason why he did break up with me. He just said that he wasn't ready for a relationship and couldn't make anyone happy. What I don't understand is why he would wait this long to actually say something to me. I thought maybe he could be depressed about some family problems and that's why he feels like he can't make anyone happy at the moment. I really don't know what to do. I love him so much and throughout these years he has been the one person I always go to for help or when I need to simply talk. He was acting weird the previous days before breaking up with me. I even came to think he was cheating on me because of his weird behavior. He had told one of his online friends that he had cheated on me but then when I confronted him about it he denied the whole thing and said he was just joking around. I feel like this is all my fault and that's driving me insane. We were arguing a lot this past month because he wouldn't even come visit me or even speak on the phone. Since speaking one the phone wasn't working, I tried to give him some space. I wouldn't call him or anything but I would talk to him online and he was fine with it. I tried visiting him but he always had an excuse and friends always seemed more important than me. I know I deserve better but he's the one I really want. I want to stop feeling this way. I don't want to be sad anymore!! It hurts so badly!! :'( If you really love someone I think you will work things out eventually, but it seems like he doesn't. He says he loved me but wasn't happy with me. Is that even possible? I asked my friends the same thing and they all told me that it wasn't possible. If he does decide to come back to me (which I doubt it) I won't take him back even though it would hurt. He hurt me so bad What hurts the most is that we planned a whole new world together and now he won't be part of it. Words can explain how I'm feeling right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Bonie Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 How long were u two together? I totally feel for you. My ex bf dumped me after 3 years because he did not feel the spark anymore. He just sent me an email and he did this during a time when I had serious health issues and got depressed because of it was going for the whole summer. I was too freaking stressed to be fun adn exciting for him. I hate him! Link to post Share on other sites
Author cookiexoxo Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 We were together for three years. I'm totally hurt. He said he loves me but can't be in a relationship. I really tried :'/ I tried so hard that I have no friends anymore. Now I'm home depressed at home all the time. I need to get out Link to post Share on other sites
flow15 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 My ex did the same to me a month ago, he said he couldn't be in a relationship but that he still loved me. I said to him, if we love eachother then surely we can work it out... but he didnt want to. One thing I learnt? He didn't love me, and your ex doesn't truely love you, cos if he did he wouldn't have left you and he would have tried to work at the relationship. I know it hurts.... we've all been there, and trust me on this, it will get better. I went through exactly what your going through a month ago, and I'm still hurting now but not as much. Feeling depressed is normal, but please try not to contact him. Cut all contact and focus on healing yourself. Distract yourself, keep yourself busy, go out with your friends, talk to them whenever you feel the need to talk to your ex. Take up new hobbies, go to the gym... Whatever you do, don't stay at home, it will make you feel 10x worse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cookiexoxo Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 (edited) My ex did the same to me a month ago, he said he couldn't be in a relationship but that he still loved me. I said to him, if we love eachother then surely we can work it out... but he didnt want to. One thing I learnt? He didn't love me, and your ex doesn't truely love you, cos if he did he wouldn't have left you and he would have tried to work at the relationship. I know it hurts.... we've all been there, and trust me on this, it will get better. I went through exactly what your going through a month ago, and I'm still hurting now but not as much. Feeling depressed is normal, but please try not to contact him. Cut all contact and focus on healing yourself. Distract yourself, keep yourself busy, go out with your friends, talk to them whenever you feel the need to talk to your ex. Take up new hobbies, go to the gym... Whatever you do, don't stay at home, it will make you feel 10x worse. That's the problem. I'm home 24/7. I go to college and then come back home. I have loads of homework :/ I don't go out much so I'm constantly thinking about him. I pulled myself back from contacting him today. I kept telling myself that he didn't love me. Just the other day I was in the hospital and he didn't even call me. All he did was send me a message saying, "R u okay?" I was like wow...in total disappointment. The person who I thought would be there for me wasn't. From that point on I've been feeling horrible. I feel like I wasted 3yrs of my life. I told him the same thing about working it out if there was truly love, but nothing. That didn't seem to work. Things got worse. I tried and now I feel like I'm starting to hate him for making me suffer!! Edited February 24, 2011 by cookiexoxo Link to post Share on other sites
flow15 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I too feel like I hate my ex for putting me through this pain.. but do you know what the best thing you can do right now? You have to cut contact, and just remain No Contact. Take a look a gators guide for NC and second chances, and follow the advice in there. You need to forget your ex and move on, the sooner you do that, the sooner you will meet someone else who will truely love you and deserve your love. Anytime you find yourself thinking about him, just tell yourself STOP he doesn't deserve my thoughts! You have to be strong, you can't let this guy control you. I know its easier said than done, but all I can say is that with time you will feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cookiexoxo Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 I too feel like I hate my ex for putting me through this pain.. but do you know what the best thing you can do right now? You have to cut contact, and just remain No Contact. Take a look a gators guide for NC and second chances, and follow the advice in there. You need to forget your ex and move on, the sooner you do that, the sooner you will meet someone else who will truely love you and deserve your love. Anytime you find yourself thinking about him, just tell yourself STOP he doesn't deserve my thoughts! You have to be strong, you can't let this guy control you. I know its easier said than done, but all I can say is that with time you will feel better. Thank you. Your words mean a lot. I needed to hear that. I won't contact him at all. He might even change his number anyway since he already threatened me with that. I think I'll do the same just to prove to him that I don't want anything to do with him. I love him but I can't let that bring me down. From now on I'm going to focus 100% on my schoolwork and family. Link to post Share on other sites
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