LK30 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 (edited) Hi all, I've been posting on this site since I split from my ex a year ago and usually on the 'coping' forum, but I'm starting to think I need to be looking at personal development. I've had a string of failed relationships and no excuse to moan about being single as I'm often the dumper. It sounds selfish but I just feel there's no point being with someone if you don't have feelings as it's not fair on them. However I'm pretty sure I've never been in love and never been with someone I've thought to myself 'yes, I could see myself with you for the rest of my life.' Funnily enough (being a Gemini) my personality is much more positive in work and different in work than in my personal life and I get on well with people, respected and feel quite happy. I know I need to move on at some point as I'm sitting in my comfort zone but not totally 'fulfilled' in any aspect of my life. I'm unsure if I'm depressed, but I certainly don't have a lot of the symptoms like wanting to drink, not getting out of bed, moody with people etc so perhaps I'm just at the 'crossroads' of life at 31. My younger siblings have settled down and I admit I do feel a bit envious. I have debated counselling although I've resisted as I've read that too often you dwell on the past whereas I need to plan my future. I went on a confidence course recently and actually felt more outgoing than the other people there. My confidence is useless with the opposite sex. I can't approach anyone and rely on online dating and speed dating which I find too artificial and believe relationships are better based on friendships first if that makes sense. I stupidly sent a Valentine's card to my ex recently and never got a reply although I didn't think she would. I admit I miss her, but if anything can go wrong with my love life it will! I'm average looking and do (wrongly) find myself comparing myself to my bro who seems to have it all! I am debating just packing up and leaving my part of the UK for a fresh start. I've read all these confidence books but I just am who I am and feel I need to accept I'm just me and take it or leave it. I certainly have no enemies. My one drawback of moving away is my son (7) I'm very close to but don't live with him and I don't want to leave his life as he's my number one and I want to be a good daddy to him. I just wanted to rant more than anything as I just feel a bit all over the place at the moment. Thanks for reading if you've made it this far and not wanting to slap me round the face to snap out me of this way of thinking!! Edited February 24, 2011 by LK30 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 My one drawback of moving away is my son (7) I'm very close to but don't live with him and I don't want to leave his life as he's my number one and I want to be a good daddy to him How far do you plan on moving away from your son? I guess if you move, you don't get any custody of him, you'll only see him once in a while and get visitation. It all depends on how much you want to be in his life. Honestly, I think if you move away, you're going to miss out on alot of good stuff, watching him grow up and being in his daily life. Something you may regret one day and also he may become resentful of you moving away and spending little time with him. Really take time to think before you pack up and move. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Moving will not help you escape yourself, which is what you are talking about doing. Dating online sucks in general, you have to do your initiating in person. Until you start to do that, you wont get the women that you really want to be serious about, no matter where you go. Moving isnt going to make the fear of rejection any easier for you. The more women you approach in person, the faster you can filter out the ones you dont want, and stick to the ones you do want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LK30 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Gosh I'm sure I had 3 replies to my thread and one has now gone, so not sure if the poster removed it or it got removed by administrators! I read my e-mail back and worded it slightly wrong. What it should've said is my son actually lives about 300 miles from me in South West England and I live in the South East, and the journey is just under 4 hours. Therefore I was wondering if I should move closer to him. Unfortunately I only see him in school holidays and dreading when he goes back home on Sunday. My ex met someone online from the South West, it's not like I moved away from him. Link to post Share on other sites
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