Author Ollie76 Posted March 10, 2011 Author Share Posted March 10, 2011 Did she already say that she wants to work on things? Or are you saying that your goal to stay NC was until she might say that? Remember the advice in that thread is NOT to play games. It's to guide your own behavior to make yourself top priority. This helps you heal, but also helps her realize what you have to offer as a convenient side-effect. IMO there really is no gamble. You're not together now so you might as well take one last shot. Read that entire thread. I know it's long, but it's inspiring. No, I was doing NC to either: 1) NC until she says she wants to work things out (which she has not) 2) Heal I actually read the whole thread and thought he received some great advice. I'm glad it worked out for him. So, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens about the pictures swap. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 No, I was doing NC to either: 1) NC until she says she wants to work things out (which she has not) 2) Heal I actually read the whole thread and thought he received some great advice. I'm glad it worked out for him. So, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens about the pictures swap. Ok. The most important thing is for you to heal in the meantime, regardless of what happens with her. And don't make your goal to put things back to the way they were because that ended in a breakup. If you restart the relationship you want it to be new and different, and thereby successful. There are slightly different tactics recommended for ex-gfs and friends, but the basic principle is the same. Withdraw, let her miss you, reconnect. If I can find a better thread I'll pm you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ollie76 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 WOW!! Now I guess there is actually zero hope of getting her back. Check this out, a mutual friend of my ex GF and I forwarded an email to me that my ex GF sent her and this is what it said: "Hello there friend! Since your not to great with facebook I decided to respond via email instead. Things with me are going GREAT! (If feels weird to say) I'm going to (NAME OF UNIVERSITY) trying to finish up my undergrad degree. I'm living in the cutest apartment ever in (NAME OF CITY), which is really close to home. (MY NAME) and I broke up in January and honestly it was the BEST decision I have ever made! I feel like an all around new person and I mean that in the most positive way possible. How are things with you? How is ****? How is work? Fill me in on everything. I hope that life is treating you well. Talk to you soon!" Now, I feel like I was some sort of cancer in her life. I am utterly stunned!! Link to post Share on other sites
depplover_1980 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 That friend made the right but difficult call showing you that one. Now you can move on as you have no choice. She loved you once i'm sure, but people can just seriously change. Time for you to do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ollie76 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 Yeah, as much as I would like to reconcile, it looks like have no other choice. This friggin' sucks! Feels like my 4+ years with her went down the drain with the blink of an eye. Dang. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Yeah, as much as I would like to reconcile, it looks like have no other choice. This friggin' sucks! Feels like my 4+ years with her went down the drain with the blink of an eye. Dang. Sorry to hear bro, but this is good news, in a sense. Now you can stop wasting your time. In hindsight I consider my ex breaking up with me to be the best thing that ever happened to me. We were stagnating. *I* was stagnating. Think of this as the first day of your new life. Link to post Share on other sites
confusio Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Now, I feel like I was some sort of cancer in her life. I am utterly stunned!! I disagree, dont make yourself feel bad about it. You said in a previous post that she was starting to become more independent, and wanted to do things on her own. The more I read the thread, the more I think that the problem lie with her, not with you. She is searching herself by doing this. Also for the picture, just burn them on a CD and mail or drop them off at her parent place if you want to keep NC. If you feel bad about NC, write her a hand letter with the CD and explain to her that you need time to heal and you would apreciate that she doesnt contact you unless she want to work things out with you again. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Yeah, I agree. Burn them to a disk and drop them in the mail. Plus, include some pics of you with your arm around some pretty girls....OPPS! How did those get in there.......sorry....feeling vindictive today. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ollie76 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 This morning (or late last night), after not communicating for a while I received two texts from her. She basically said she missed talking to me and asked if it would be weird for us to be friends. Haha...I think she's trying to get me into the friends zone. Why would she want to be friends with me if dumping me was "the best decision ever made"? Link to post Share on other sites
confusio Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 I think she want to keep all what she liked about the relationship without having to comit to the things she didn't like. Its unfair that you give her friendship so she feel better and have someone to talk to while you are just going to witness her moving on without letting you move on. Being in the friend zone will just hurt you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ollie76 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 Yep, I agree. I can picture her all alone in her new apt just thinking about sh*t. She's the type that can not be alone. Her being alone had a part in us breaking up. She panicked one night when she spent the night at my place (before the break up). She was tired and went to bed before me, noticed she was alone in bed, jumped out of bed, got dressed and left my apt. The next day when we spoke, she said she freaked out on the thought of being alone and somehow thought staying with me will result in her being alone in the long run. Weird! I also have a feeling she wants to be friends with benefits. Link to post Share on other sites
depplover_1980 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Yep, I agree. I can picture her all alone in her new apt just thinking about sh*t. She's the type that can not be alone. Her being alone had a part in us breaking up. She panicked one night when she spent the night at my place (before the break up). She was tired and went to bed before me, noticed she was alone in bed, jumped out of bed, got dressed and left my apt. The next day when we spoke, she said she freaked out on the thought of being alone and somehow thought staying with me will result in her being alone in the long run. Weird! I also have a feeling she wants to be friends with benefits. She's a bit of a wierdo if she does!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ollie76 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 She's a bit of a wierdo if she does!! Haha...I don't understand the concept. Maybe she's trying to psyche herself out by bragging about how she's doing "GREAT" and all that stuff to our friend in that email but in reality is regretting "the BEST decision she ever made". I replied to her texts telling her that maybe we can try to be friends in about a year or so or until the weirdness goes away. I don't think she liked that answer. Link to post Share on other sites
depplover_1980 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Haha...I don't understand the concept. Maybe she's trying to psyche herself out by bragging about how she's doing "GREAT" and all that stuff to our friend in that email but in reality is regretting "the BEST decision she ever made". I replied to her texts telling her that maybe we can try to be friends in about a year or so or until the weirdness goes away. I don't think she liked that answer. Ha that made me laugh out loud. That is the spirit Ollie, be a right cocky one, give it to her good and proper. Oe-er!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ollie76 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 Ha that made me laugh out loud. That is the spirit Ollie, be a right cocky one, give it to her good and proper. Oe-er!! That's the only way I know how. Thanks for all of your input depplover! I think I'm a depplover as well. Excellent actor! LOL. Here's another gem forwarded to me by our mutual friend and written by my ex GF: Hello, To be honest the break up was all my decision. It was so weird. One night after watching several movies and getting ready for bed, I sat up and decided that I had to leave. I knew that if I didn't leave at that moment I would never leave and for the rest of my life I would be stuck. So to sum it up, I wasn't happy and felt like I was settling. I kept asking him to change and be someone else and when I thought about it..... it's not fair to ask someone to do that. Especially in the dating phase it is supposed to be easy and our relationship was work. It didn't seem to be going the direction I wanted either. I'm at the phase in my life where I am looking to start settling down. You know marriage, kids and the whole nine yards! Link to post Share on other sites
depplover_1980 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Ollie, in my Depp opinion I predict this girl is trying to kid herself, I think she was bored yes, so made the decision to end this relationship and is now putting all her imagination into how wonderful this new life will be. I think she will regret this a year or two down the line when she fails to meet anyone with all your blatant qualities. She will seek you out for amends but you will be having the time of your life with a tidy fun younger woman, who gives you lots of blow jobs. Your friend supports you strongly, that is a good friend there - hold onto him/her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ollie76 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Ok, so this morning she sent me a facebook message asking about my thoughts on de-friending eachother on FB. She said it's driving her crazy reading all the females posting on my wall flirting and "making plans" with me. Then she ended it with saying "I just want you to be happy". LOL I'm not trying to read into this too much, but do you guys think she's within my grasp now? Since we're still FB friends right now, I guess she's just waiting for my response. I'm thinking of telling her that it's her sole decision to de-friend me if she wants and promise her that there will be no hard feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
depplover_1980 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Ok, so this morning she sent me a facebook message asking about my thoughts on de-friending eachother on FB. She said it's driving her crazy reading all the females posting on my wall flirting and "making plans" with me. Then she ended it with saying "I just want you to be happy". LOL I'm not trying to read into this too much, but do you guys think she's within my grasp now? Since we're still FB friends right now, I guess she's just waiting for my response. I'm thinking of telling her that it's her sole decision to de-friend me if she wants and promise her that there will be no hard feelings. The key to all of this Ollie is to do the opposite to what you feel like doing, so now you have to defriend her completely and start pulling away from her. Nothing will make her want you more. In the meantime think hard and fast because you're relationship won't ever be the same, which is another reason it is vital to get her chasing after you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ollie76 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Really? Defriend her? She would probably hate though, right? Here is some more of what she wrote me this morning in regards to Facebook: "Happy friday! I still care about you and have feelings. You already know I am an emotional person and I'm not sure if it will be "healthy" for me because I can't resist checking. On the other side! I do still want to be in contact with you as I have mentioned before. You have been such a huge part of my life and a very important person to me. I want you to be able to live your life. I don't know I guess I'm torn about the whole thing. I've never gone through this. Hope your Friday is treating you well" I hope she's starting to realize her loss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ollie76 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Done!! I unfriended her. My friggin' heart was pounding like crazy while doing it. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
cboy90 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Weighted hula hoop Essay my wife Model cars 8-ball Bicycle pants Hair bondage Free herpies dating Spokane municipal court Wire rope fittings Insulated underwear Throat singing Wolverine brass Winchester model 1894 Now those are some weird fetishes! Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Joolie Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Ollie, in my Depp opinion I predict this girl is trying to kid herself, I think she was bored yes, so made the decision to end this relationship and is now putting all her imagination into how wonderful this new life will be. I think she will regret this a year or two down the line when she fails to meet anyone with all your blatant qualities. She will seek you out for amends but you will be having the time of your life with a tidy fun younger woman, who gives you lots of blow jobs. Your friend supports you strongly, that is a good friend there - hold onto him/her. From personal experience, I also left my boyfriend (after 4.5 years) after realizing we weren't on the same page for our future. I had zero regret over that. What ended up happening though was he had a total change of heart, I mean this man is unrecognizable now in how he loves me. He's very open and eager to talk about our future together. He has been looking at rings. I have fallen back in love with him, this is the man I have chosen, and I have gone back to him. So, Ollie, she won't regret leaving you but don't take that personally. If it's clear to you that she's not in your future, believe me, she got that. She may feel sad about it but she has made the right choice, imo. You have made the right choice for you, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ollie76 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 I have fallen back in love with him, this is the man I have chosen, and I have gone back to him. How long were you guys apart? What did he do to get you back? Link to post Share on other sites
depplover_1980 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Really? Defriend her? She would probably hate though, right? Here is some more of what she wrote me this morning in regards to Facebook: "Happy friday! I still care about you and have feelings. You already know I am an emotional person and I'm not sure if it will be "healthy" for me because I can't resist checking. On the other side! I do still want to be in contact with you as I have mentioned before. You have been such a huge part of my life and a very important person to me. I want you to be able to live your life. I don't know I guess I'm torn about the whole thing. I've never gone through this. Hope your Friday is treating you well" I hope she's starting to realize her loss. I am so pleased you have done it. This girl is playing you like a fool right now and you need to take the power back. If she questions why you've defriended her you tell her straight 'that you cannot and will not be just friends', then you need to stop contacting her and give her some real space. You know it makes sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ollie76 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 (edited) I am so pleased you have done it. This girl is playing you like a fool right now and you need to take the power back. If she questions why you've defriended her you tell her straight 'that you cannot and will not be just friends', then you need to stop contacting her and give her some real space. You know it makes sense. You know what though? I NEVER thought unfriending her would make me feel so bad. For some reason, I feel really bad. I shouldn't feel bad, just for the fact that she dumped me...but I do. It does look like she's playing me like a fool, but knowing her, I think it's unintentional. Also, should I send her a message about why I unfriended her? Edited March 18, 2011 by Ollie76 Link to post Share on other sites
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