lovelylove Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 My youngest child is about to leave for good. She's got her wings full grown and is ready to soar, she's my best friend, the love of my life, and when she's gone I'll be alone. She is the most wonderful, witty, loving, smart, caring person I know, and did I mention she's my daughter?! She's at the top of her graduating class and has secured a top-notch position 5000 miles away- I am so proud of her, and so glad she is going, but I feel like I'm dying inside. I've been "weaning" myself from her over the last few years- gradually doing less with her, giving her more space, more responsibility, more respect as the adult she is at 22. Here I am, at menopause, so emotional, my other children are all gone, also thousands of miles away, and yes I visit.... but this is a crushing feeling of doom. I can understand why people cling and make it so comfortable that their kids never leave- but I would never do that- she needs to fly- and I want her to. Has anyone else been through this, it hurts SO MUCH. I'll miss the daily little interactions, the little notes, buying her things at the grocery store, folding her laundry (rarely, but still once a month or so)- I won't miss the expense, the messes, and there's always facebook, and the phone, and visits, but, sigh, I'm so sad. I try to hide my sadness from her, I don't want her to worry about me but I know she does. I've waited so long for this, now here it is, and Yet I'm so happy for her.... it's very confusing, and the hormones don't help, let me tell ya. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Mom of four, miss the chaotic young days (too tired for it now though, lol) xoxoxo Link to post Share on other sites
NamNam Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I wished my mum was as undersatdning as you are . I can't speak from the perspective of a mother, but as a son, I can only think that your daughter loves you very much and greatly appreciates you. No doubt she'll miss you too but in these circumstances where distance forces you apart physically, at least you can be comforted by the mere fact that there is a strong love between you and your kids. All the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovelylove Posted February 27, 2011 Author Share Posted February 27, 2011 Awww, Namnam, that's so sweet. I realized today that my anxiety is of the "good" kind- like before a wedding, a big trip, a new child is born, a new job... And I realize that love is all about letting go, sadly. I've had to let go of everyone I love... and yes I still see them occasionally, but still.... It's like a rescued baby bird... once it learns to fly... no matter how much you want to keep it in a cage... if it can survive on it's own you have to let it go... and cry, and just be glad you had the chance to love it for a while. SOB. xoxoxoxoxo Link to post Share on other sites
britchick Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I know what you mean! You spend their whole lives planning everything around them and their needs and then they are gone! It's heartbreaking and I don't think anyone ever really warns you how painful it is and you are left feeling a bit silly. I feel exactly the same about my daughter, I'm so proud of her and wouldn't want to clip her wings but I REALLY miss her! I ended up going back to university and getting my nursing degree, something I'd always wanted to do. Throwing myself into work really helped and I now have a job I love (oh and other people to look after!!) The missing them does ease off in the end! xxxx Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovelylove Posted February 27, 2011 Author Share Posted February 27, 2011 Thanks Britchick!! I think I may wind up with too many cats, hahaha if I'm not careful!!! xoxoxoxo congrats on your nsg degree, I'm an RN myself I may do more Red Cross work, there's always a need for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 lovelylove, WOW how endearing to read of your fondness you have with your children.(Young adults). The miles are symbols of the endurance of love. Yours stretches far and wide! How blessed that is! I've walked your path and the bittersweetness is something that validates you and the relationship. Its a good thing. They are off creating adult lives and you are parting with the role you actively played. Ohh you will always be their mum My heartfelt support goes your way as you also grow as a mature lady and start to live another chapter in life. Seems we put our lives on hold for them and now its time to grow ourselves. Best to you. PS: I wrote my kids letters when they were leaving, they kept them and would read them when they needed to hear certain things. It really did bring them smiles thru the miles. Link to post Share on other sites
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