I don't know how to be single again.

[deadevelyn]

she need some time out from you.

If even you cant change her, no one will.

she need to go on cold turkey before you can have her back.

She ain't the person you know, but a person covered by addiction.

lies to cover her addiction...

it seems to me that she do not know how to treasure you, its either till she knows how to cherish you allow someone else that knows how to cherish you have you.

 

If she truly feel for you, she would change as she wouldn't want you to be in pain.

Her being addicted to gambling is hurting you.

 

Please be strong:)

[fetish]

thanks cnycgirl.

 

Deep down i know she's too much of a liability. When i mentioned her gambling and her missing the car payment, she says, I would only have to go to the gameroom w/$20.00. The car payment was $270.00, So it was easy for me to go to the gameroom, but you don't have to worry, the car note will be paid and probably in advance from here on out.

 

The way the conversation kicked off on saturday was she mentioned she wanted to go to New York for my birthday. I told her i was confused because why would you want any kind of relationship? Why would I when she's the one who moved out. It's almost as if i feel bad turning down her willingness to still be friends or keep in contact. It has been 8 years, so it's easy for me to just tell her to go to hell!

 

I know i have to just man up and go L/C to N/C. She needs to miss me and know what its like to lose me. When she went on her bipolar episode and started moving her stuff out, she expected me to chase her and ask her to stay. Since i didn't, she went through with it. Well she's the one who acted like she didn't mind losing me. I know she thought i was going to take her back and we go to being cool again. If i call her and act interested in meeting up next week (like she wants), I will be feeding right into her hands and she'll just start acting like she's the sh## and continue with her crazy ways.

 

Can't fall for it. I'm no punk. This last weekend was more about me trying to remind her of what she's missing rather than falling in emotion for her again, even though i did a little. But time to cut my losses and move on.

[Graceful]

Deep down i know she's too much of a liability. When i mentioned her gambling and her missing the car payment, she says, I would only have to go to the gameroom w/$20.00. The car payment was $270.00, So it was easy for me to go to the gameroom, but you don't have to worry, the car note will be paid and probably in advance from here on out.

 

The way the conversation kicked off on saturday was she mentioned she wanted to go to New York for my birthday. I told her i was confused because why would you want any kind of relationship? Why would I when she's the one who moved out. It's almost as if i feel bad turning down her willingness to still be friends or keep in contact. It has been 8 years, so it's easy for me to just tell her to go to hell!

 

I know i have to just man up and go L/C to N/C. She needs to miss me and know what its like to lose me. When she went on her bipolar episode and started moving her stuff out, she expected me to chase her and ask her to stay. Since i didn't, she went through with it. Well she's the one who acted like she didn't mind losing me. I know she thought i was going to take her back and we go to being cool again. If i call her and act interested in meeting up next week (like she wants), I will be feeding right into her hands and she'll just start acting like she's the sh## and continue with her crazy ways.

 

Can't fall for it. I'm no punk. This last weekend was more about me trying to remind her of what she's missing rather than falling in emotion for her again, even though i did a little. But time to cut my losses and move on.

I don't want to be immodest, but I gave you excellent advice, and I stand by it. I do not intend to write it out again, so just go back and read it.

 

I was in an 8 year relationship myself, and it imploded, you are not the only one. It is not a lifetime. You did not marry her, you do not have children with her, and when you get the note on the car straightened out, you have no financial ties with her, either. Done and done. Be glad she moved out and you don't have to get her out now.

 

If you do not know someone after 8 years, how much longer do you need? You have no future with her. She is not the person you want to marry. She is an addict of epic proportion, a drama queen, distorts the truth, puts you through hell, is not loyal to you, does not put you first, does not admit she has a problem, does not communicate with you, does not satisfy you, does not make you happy, does not have your best interests at heart ... need I go on? She needs help, and even if she gets it, there is too much negative history for you to ever be with her again.

 

This is supposed to be a relationship, not a jail sentence.

 

SO what is the point?? There is no point. It's pointless. She is poison to you. And yes, you made her a booty call, nothing more than sleeping with a prostitute, IMHO. Meaningless sex to prove a point? To make her miss you? That makes you no better than she is, quite honestly. You've already made this good-bye longer than it needs to be, cut her out of your life STAT, and do not turn back. Everything you say or do will be used against you with a person like this, your words will become her weapons, you can never do anything right. It's all about her. Stop it, please. Stick to your resolve and move on.

[fetish]

thanks for your input deadevelyn. And Graceful, you did indeed give me excellent advice and i kind of expected you to let me have it after you advised against the booty call. We both wanted some and i didn't ever feel like there was any real closure.

 

Yes i may not be any better than her, but i feel like i tried really hard, and quite honestly, I feel pretty sh%%ty having been the one who tried to do the right thing and love her inspite of her faults while she took me for granted and was just so selfish. The fact that I was trying to play a game with the b/c, yes it may have made me no better than her but it was a poor attempt to get some of my control back. We all play games to some degree. I figured she was gaming when i wasn't and i still got hurt, so what the hell? I know that may not have been a good reason, I know i have my faults too but I'm just being honest.

 

I'm going to re-read your posts again and be reminded of how addicts operate. She's just moving so fast and got her own apartment and getting all of these things and telling me, like she's doing alright. But i know her, she's all about show. I'm still wondering why she wants to have some type of relaitonship and of it was retaliation for her to all of a sudden want the carkey back ( for the car which i'm cosigned to) after i asked for the house key back.

Edited March 7, 2011 by fetish

[Graceful]

And Graceful, you did indeed give me excellent advice and i kind of expected you to let me have it after you advised against the booty call. We both wanted some and i didn't ever feel like there was any real closure.

Okay, the last thing I want to do is hurt you, I just wanted to get through to you so I had to use a little tough love, that's all. It's for your own good. We all have to make our own mistakes, learn from them, and then, not repeat them, so I just want you to see you cannot repeat what happened last weekend. Okay?

 

This is the thing with addicts, or manipulative people of any kind (and addicts are experts at manipulation): they are very good at making you work over time on the relationship, inflicting guilt, and then, to top it off, make you feel like you still have not done enough. It's all projection of their own insecurities, and putting all the blame for the failure of the relationship on the other person, never taking any of the responsibility. They are never accountable. That is part of the reason you feel such a burden right now, because the entire weight of the relationship was on you.

 

Why didn't you call? Why didn't you fight for her? YOU STOOD UP TO HER. You told her she had a problem, and what did she do with your words? She twisted them, denied her problem, and made you feel even worse!!

 

The fact that I was trying to play a game with the b/c, yes it may have made me no better than her but it was a poor attempt to get some of my control back. I know that may not have been a good reason, I know i have my faults too but I'm just being honest.

What's done is done. I understand why you did it, so let it go. You were desperate to have some control, I get that, and I don't want you to beat yourself up over this. It happens, and it happens to the best of us.

 

I'm going to re-read your posts again and be reminded of how addicts operate. She's just moving so fast and got her own apartment and getting all of these things and telling me, like she's doing alright. But i know her, she's all about show. I'm still wondering why she wants to have some type of relationship and of it was retaliation for her to all of a sudden want the carkey back ( for the car which i'm cosigned to) after i asked for the house key back.

You're right on the money. It's all retaliation, not wanting you to think she is miserable and that she is fine. Let me tell you something. Never judge someone from the outside in. Don't judge what she is feeling on the inside by what she is telling you or saying to you or anything of the kind. Don't fall for that. Buying furniture and setting up an apartment does not mean someone is fine, they just got some logistics taken care of, that is all. She is suffering. Addicts suffer. That is why they have an addiction in the first place, to escape from their inner pain. Their own insecurity, their own lack of confidence, their own feeling of lack of control over their lives that they try to regain through the addiction.

 

As far as trying to get the relationship back on track, that's part of her game plan to regain control and it's part of her denial that she did anything wrong, or that you really stood up to her. She's belittling you by acting this way, as though nothing is wrong. Plenty is wrong. You know that. And I am glad you got the key to the apartment back. Good move.

 

And BTW, you're right, you cannot and should not return the car key until you have complete closure on the payments for the car and do not stand any chance of wrecking your credit. That's very important.

 

Now tell yourself you are doing the right thing, stand strong, and take things day by day. Don't jump ahead any further than that, you are in for a rocky ride and as long as you keep your resolve and move forward, you are going to make it. You know what you need to do, it's going to be a matter of just staying strong and holding on to what you believe is best for you.

[fetish]

Graceful, are you a professional counselor because you you summed her up to a tee, not even knowing her, just using your knowledge of addicts. And no, i didn't take your tough love to heart. That's what i need to get my head out of the love clouds and reminding me anytime i get into moments of self blame. Right now, i'm still vulnerable for her and can still be manipulated, even if i'm telling myself i can't be. I think its just best i try to forget about her completely and get on with life. That'll be better than any revenge or game that anyone can play.

 

Just curious Graceful, how did you take your 8 year relationship ending? How long has it been and how long did it take for you to bounce back? I am sorry to hear that BTW.

 

It's hard still having love for an addict. There was a point where she was more caring and a little sensitive but her selfishness grew over time and she's become a lot worse. She was still blaming me this weekend saying i didn't show concern enough for her during crisis situations totally ignoring everything good i had done. I was beginning to see how foolish i was being by trying to justify, because there's no reasoning with these type of people.

 

This is my first day since this weekend going N/C. She left it up to me to contact her for next week's date and told me she's not calling. I'm going to keep you guys posted and would still love to hear your replies. I want to keep this thread alive because I need all the support i can get right now and i appreciate your guy's support.

Edited March 7, 2011 by fetish

[fetish]

well this is day 2 since the last time we spoke. It seems like she's serious about not calling me but i'm calling her bluff. I'm still going N/C. As bold as she's being, since i'm going N/C, she might be thinking i'm seeing someone else so she might go out flirting and hook up with someone else. I have to prepare myself for that. I know she has a problem but it still hurts my soul to think of her with someone else. But she's playing this game w/ me like she really doesn't think she can lose me.

 

I can't believe the balls this woman has. She walks out because she didn't want to work through issues and risks losing me, something she was always fearful of doing these last 8 years, always worried if i was seeing other girls and then tries to take control of the relaitonship and get us back to dating again and starting over. Then she wants me to come to her and call her for the next date.

 

L/S, I'm hurting because i know she's an addict, but she still got me. But if i give in to her, I think i'll be throwing away a little bit of my self respect. It seems like this girl wants it all. She wants me to care for her but she wants my manhood too! This game might get ugly.

[depplover_1980]

Have you tried contacting any of the gambling charities for family members of those suffering as a direct result of that gambling? They might be able to at least offer an understanding ear...

[fetish]

no i thought about it though. i def need some support. i don't think gambling is her only addiction. She also has some serious control issues. She doesn't want to put a limit on how many times to gamble every month, plus She thinks she can just walk out of us living together and all up and decide she needs space but still wants a relationship?

 

This girl is something else. But i'm still in love with her. I got it bad.

[depplover_1980]

no i thought about it though. i def need some support. i don't think gambling is her only addiction. She also has some serious control issues. She doesn't want to put a limit on how many times to gamble every month, plus She thinks she can just walk out of us living together and all up and decide she needs space but still wants a relationship?

 

This girl is something else. But i'm still in love with her. I got it bad.

 

There is definately something not right with your own mental stability right now either, you are a by-product of her behaviours and gambling. I would defo have a look online at specific advice lines to it as mentioned. You got nothing to lose by talking to them and gathering knowledge, but unless she wants to change the relationship is doomed.

[Graceful]

no i thought about it though. i def need some support. i don't think gambling is her only addiction. She also has some serious control issues. She doesn't want to put a limit on how many times to gamble every month, plus She thinks she can just walk out of us living together and all up and decide she needs space but still wants a relationship?

 

This girl is something else. But i'm still in love with her. I got it bad.

 

fetish,

Sorry I have not been able to get back to you. I'll be back in a little while. Hang in there.

[fetish]

There is definately something not right with your own mental stability right now either, you are a by-product of her behaviours and gambling. I would defo have a look online at specific advice lines to it as mentioned. You got nothing to lose by talking to them and gathering knowledge, but unless she wants to change the relationship is doomed.

 

 

what do you think could be wrong with my mental stability? I'm just one month in to a break up after being with her for 8 years. I think i got set back a little by seeing her this weekend, which was a mistake.

 

Do you think the way i'm handling this is abnormal? Maybe i'm posting on here too much. I might need therapy because everytime i try to forget about her, i somehow get to thinking about her again before i even realize it.

Edited March 8, 2011 by fetish

[fetish]

fetish,

Sorry I have not been able to get back to you. I'll be back in a little while. Hang in there.

 

 

Thanks graceful, i'm trying to hang in there. This N/C thing is hard. She said she's leaving it up to me to call for the next date so i think she's really trying to draw this NC thing out. I started to get really depressed last night when i got off work, so i went to the gym. Felt a little better.

 

Oh and Depplover, still waiting on your reply. Did you get my pm?

[Graceful]

Thanks graceful, i'm trying to hang in there. This N/C thing is hard. She said she's leaving it up to me to call for the next date so i think she's really trying to draw this NC thing out. I started to get really depressed last night when i got off work, so i went to the gym. Felt a little better.

Hola fetish!

I feel terrible that I have not been able to get back here -- I am in over my head with work -- life gets in the way! I do want to respond to you and will definitely get back to you before the end of the day.

 

Glad to see you went to the gym and are on the board posting and holding on. The first days (and weeks for that matter) are very rough, for sure.

 

PS I'm not sure what Depp meant about your behavior other than the idea that since you've been with a very manipulative person (an addict) your mind is working over-time because you actually do know what to expect from her, which is actually different from what other people experience in a breakup. Otherwise, I don't think you've exhibited any behavior on LS that isn't consistent with what other people exhibit after a very recent breakup. But more on this when I get back.

 

Anyhow, just didn't want you to think I forgot about you.

[fetish]

Hey Graceful,

 

Your support has really meant alot and you have spoken some very powerful words. I understand, you have your own life to deal with and life gets in the way with everybody. Completely understandable.

 

I think you're right about what depplover said and makes sense. My mind is in emotional turmoil but it seems the only way out of this is to try to forget about her completely as you mentioned she is poison. It's not easy seeing i was going to mary this girl and have been together for 8 years. We've been everywhere in this city together and we were together when i first moved to this city. So it's not that easy to erase her because everything around me is ground we covered together. That's why my mind keeps playing tricks on me by loning for her again. I'm remembering the good times.

 

But like you said, although she's been in my life for a nice long season, She's no longer good for me. She's become poisonous and will infect me even further if i try to go back with her. It's almost like i'm trying to break an addiction myself which is with her. Even though, we weren't really in love with eachother our final days together, we still tried to do things together, it's just her gameroom/casino visits after work drove us apart.

[Graceful]

Hi, I'm here and can give you some feedback. Just made myself a nice cup of green tea, too.

 

Just curious Graceful, how did you take your 8 year relationship ending? How long has it been and how long did it take for you to bounce back? I am sorry to hear that BTW.

Well, thanks for your sweetness and for asking about my own breakup woes. I did mention that my breakup was also after 8-years because I wanted you to feel that there are many of us who have had this type of LTR, and I do understand and know it is a long time to be with someone. The ending of my relationship was hell. He cheated and had been lying and deceiving me for a while, I found this out all after the fact, and it was a shock, very hurtful, and needless to say, broke my heart. It's a long story (aren't they all), but I will be truthful and say that it did take me quite a while to fully bounce back. I am a very healthy person, and I take good care of myself, but it took me a long time to heal. We're all different, though, you know. I had a great support system, and I posted on boards like LS, and worked on all of the advice, just like anyone and everyone else. If you catch me at a tired moment, I still feel bad at times, but it's a minor setback and it doesn't last long.

 

I do want to say, I've never tried to forget what happened. Relationships are chapters in our lives. Your relationship with your ex is a big, and important chapter. Why try to erase it? The ending isn't so hot and you have to work on recovering, but it's part of your history, it's part of your memory, and it's just one chapter. You're going to write lots of chapters in your life. It's perfectly normal to have these memories and once you begin to feel better and move on, that's all they are, is memories. Over time, they really won't mean that much to you, seriously. They won't.

 

Now for you. I am honestly very impressed with how you really know how to psych out your ex. This is what happens when you are with an addict long enough. You get into an almost unhealthy dependency with one another, in your case, you began to live your life walking on eggshells because you didn't want to set her off so she'd act out. And you probably began to notice all of her actions, as you could predict what she was going to do, when and how. See, this is part of the reason you are distraught, strangely enough. You were so wrapped up in her behavior, especially toward the end, now that your life is drama free, it probably feels a little foreign to you. But it's not. This is the way it should be, and hopefully, when you get into a healthy relationship, it will be drama free, too.

 

Right now, i'm still vulnerable for her and can still be manipulated, even if i'm telling myself i can't be. I think its just best i try to forget about her completely and get on with life.

See, this is what I mean. You know you're vulnerable and you know how good she is at manipulating you. See, this is a good thing if you can use it to help you.

 

And I understand you don't just stop loving someone just because they are not a good match for you. But that's the thing you need to reinforce more and more.

 

She's not a good match for you. She's poison for you. Sometimes you can really love the wrong person. AND, in your case, she changed as she got into gambling and gaming. She changed. So you have to reinforce to yourself that she is not really the same person you fell in love with, and not feel any guilt or responsibility for that. You did nothing wrong. You didn't cause it at all.

 

her selfishness grew over time and she's become a lot worse. She was still blaming me this weekend saying i didn't show concern enough for her during crisis situations totally ignoring everything good i had done. I was beginning to see how foolish i was being by trying to justify, because there's no reasoning with these type of people.

This is what I mean, too. Your words are weapons FOR HER. So no, it's not worth arguing or trying to justify or anything else. And when you are silent, the same trouble will ensue, because she will haunt you for being passive! She basically wants to pick a fight, one way or the other. This is one of the many reasons you need to stay NC and not get sucked in.

 

She's no longer good for me. She's become poisonous and will infect me even further if i try to go back with her. It's almost like i'm trying to break an addiction myself which is with her. Even though, we weren't really in love with each other our final days together, we still tried to do things together, it's just her gameroom/casino visits after work drove us apart.

This is it again, right here. You do have great insights yourself, it's just a matter of trying very hard to follow through on what you know to be true. It is an addiction of sorts and it does help to keep your focus on the idea that while you may still feel some love for her, you really are not in love with her anymore. It is sad to acknowledge you have fallen out of love with someone that you thought you were going to marry, but I do think in the long run, you have to be glad you didn't go through with marriage and all the disastrous things that would have happened if you had. So try to keep your focus on that, too.

 

She said she's leaving it up to me to call for the next date so i think she's really trying to draw this NC thing out.

Of course, you can see she is making this a game, too. But you can't and should not call. There is nothing to talk about and nothing more to say. If she calls or contacts you, and you aren't sure what to do, come to the LS board for support. No matter what happens, you need to establish that you are serious that the relationship is over; she probably will not take that seriously right away. That's why it's critical not to falter.

 

Now take care of yourself, stay on the LS board, you know what you need to do, and I have faith in your ability to carry through. Won't be easy. Just remember that NC is not a game, even if that's what she thinks. It's not. I'll watch for your thread and continue to pop in. Take care.

[fetish]

Again Graceful, your words are always great and they are helping me through this.

 

This is Day 4 since N/C. While I'm trying my best to work on myself, i still have periods where i wonder what she's doing or if she's in pain like i am.

 

She is really trying to stick to her words of her saying she's not going to call me anymore because i hadn't called her. I think her next trick is going to have me find out in some way that she's moved on to someone else to make me jealous. Lord knows I'm not ready for that or not sure if i ever will be, but I'm slowly trying to accept that that day might eventually come and am trying to prepare myself for it.

[JustEmptyInside]

Fetish - I'm a latecomer to your thread, but I want you to know that I feel your pain more than you know. I was in a similar LTR that fell apart for somewhat different reasons - but the fallout from my ex was similar (playing games with me, making me the bad guy). My story is in another of my threads if you're interested.

 

You've gotten some great advice from others in this thread. I just wanted to add that from reading your posts on this board, I empathize with you greatly after my experience. Maybe we just think alike.

 

Anyway, if you ever need someone to talk to when it gets tough - you've got plenty of great people on this board who will listen. I'm not sure if my account can PM either - but feel free to vent to me if you ever need. I'm into my 3rd month of drawn out hell now, and I do understand the value of just talking to someone who understands...

 

Stay strong man - I know it's tough...

[fetish]

Thanks J.E.I.,

 

I will view your thread when i get to me P.C. I am grateful of all the advice and encouragement L/S has given me. I've been a member of this site for nearly 5 years and used to think that the people on LS could be a little cold and harsh at times, but not now.

 

I just enabled my PM yesterday so i should be able to pm now. I think you should be able to too once you edit your personal settings.

 

How long was your relationship BTW?

Edited March 11, 2011 by fetish

[JustEmptyInside]

I'll do the same when I get to a PC... Me? I was in it a little over 6 years... Lived together for 5 of them....

[fetish]

J.E.I.,

 

I just viewed all of your threads and left a comment. I hate that that happened and sympathize a great deal with your pain. I've been through relationships before where they quickly move on to someone else after only a month and I understand how great deal of pain it is. I'm still not ready to accept that the person who i called mine for the last 8 years could be with another man at any minute.

 

My recent LTR (only one) of 8 years, I lost to her gambling addiction, selfishness, and a high lust to be in control. I knew her and i knew how easily she was influenced by gambling. I even drove by to the gameroom/casino one night to be sure she was there and sure enough, her car was parked right there. At about 1:20am, out she comes with her best friend (her gambling buddy).

 

Even though there wasn't another man (that i know of yet), It still hurts because like you, i invested everything. I may not have proposed to her when she was ready (and mind you, she was mad about that), but i did propose. I even cosigned her a car when she had no one else. I cooked for her to encourage us both for a healthy lifestyle. I was emotional support and we did everything together. I took her on a hot air baloon ride a about 4 years ago and many other first events. Seems like after she started working (after graduating from college), she slowly got sloppy and began to rely more on gambling for relaxation. It slowly got worse and here recently, it tipped over. At the end of January, she was just talking about our wedding and plans for a reception hall. About a week and 1/2 later, when i stand up to her on her gambling habit, she shuts down and then manipulates the entire situation to make it my fault and moves out

 

It never feels good for love to be given to you and then snatched away for anything else whether its another man, an addiction, or anything. I have to admit though, her hooking up with someone else has been my deepest fear these last 4 weeks since our b/u. I hope you continue to stay strong during your pain as I'm praying close to God trying to do the same thing and will pray for you as well.

[fetish]

well she just txt me today saying :I guess u don't want anythng to do with me cuz i asked you to call me so we could go out on a date today and its nice day, but i guess u already found someone to enjoy your day with.

 

It is hard for me doing this NC seeing that she appears to be hurting. One side of me is wanting to respond and still hang out with her but the other side is telling me to keep the distance going and not go back on the love drug that has made me a little stupid.

 

I miss her still though. L/S I need help because apart of me is tempted to text her back.

[Graceful]

fetish,

I just got home and logged on ... seems the timing is perfect that I saw your message surfaced to the top of the board.

 

Now listen to me. You have to go back and tell yourself why you broke up with her in the first place.

 

And let me tell you something that I will repeat until I am blue in the face and it is this: 8 years is long enough to figure out if a relationship is working for you or not. And it's not. What do you want in your future? What kind of person? Do you want marriage? Kids? If not, then this girl would be fine, as she is not wife material and she is certainly not mother material, at least unless she cleans up her act and gets help.

 

Otherwise, she makes you miserable, distorts the truth, takes no responsibility for what she does and to whom, does not care who she hurts, has no remorse, no empathy, does not communicate with you, manipulates you, argues with you, disrespects you, and in short, really does not care about you.

 

I mean, do you consider this thoughtful, considerate, and loving? Is this all you deserve? mmmmm.

 

I mean, in the end, who cares who is "right" or if it is "all my fault" or "all your fault" or "if only" or "why couldn't you" or "you found someone else, wah wah" or "why didn't you call?" or .....???

 

IT DOESN'T WORK. The relationship doesn't work. Why should you want to stay in it? And if your ex heaps all kinds of blame your way-well, so be it. It doesn't change anything at all. The relationship still sucks and you don't want to be in it anymore. Even the way she expressed herself ... "I guess you found someone else" --- like this is all she thinks about? Seriously? Did she say she is sorry? Did she say she is going to get help? Did she say she wants to get back with you? NO NO NO NO NO. All she said is that she was planning to spend a day with you. So what is that supposed to mean? It means nothing.

 

She isn't your friend unless you let your friends dump on you. And I hope that is not the case.

 

Who wants to spend every last precious day of their lives in a disharmonious, acrimonious, dysfunctional, painful, disappointing, frustrating, enraging, dreary, tedious, repetitive struggle?? Enough, already.

 

We all have a limited number amount of time on this earth. Shouldn't we choose to spend as much of it as we can on things that are uplifting, joyous, and that make us happy?

 

You're trapped in emotional quicksand. You're responding to a guilt trip if you respond.

 

Choice is up to you, of course. You broke up with her. You forgot why already?

 

 

well she just txt me today saying :I guess u don't want anythng to do with me cuz i asked you to call me so we could go out on a date today and its nice day, but i guess u already found someone to enjoy your day with.

 

It is hard for me doing this NC seeing that she appears to be hurting. One side of me is wanting to respond and still hang out with her but the other side is telling me to keep the distance going and not go back on the love drug that has made me a little stupid.

 

I miss her still though. L/S I need help because apart of me is tempted to text her back.

Edited March 12, 2011 by Graceful

[fetish]

graceful,

 

your point is well taken. I don't let my friends dump on me. I think that's why she and i didn't make it. Because i didn't submit to her every demand. She never said she was sorry, but tried to do everything but. She said she still wants to be in a monogomous relationship and that she loved me. She says 8 years is a long time and doesn't want to start over with anyone else.

 

As hard as it is, I'm still going to try to focus on myself. I've already been writing song lyrics and will soon get back in to making music beats. I don't need to try to "look" for any other women. I need to focus on me and my own talents. Even though sometimes my mind plays tricks on me and says "You better sleep with someone else because she might be, then you'll be hurt if she does and you didn't". That's an inmature trap and will not make me feel any better.

 

Thanks Graceful, i'm just doing what you suggested by cotacting my LS friends on here if i feel compelled to text her. You made me feel alot better. Thank you!

[depplover_1980]

Did my message arrive with you ok?