Need tips about Long Distance Relationship and insecurities

[aegabriel]

Hi everyone, I am new to this site and think it is great. I want to tell you all about my LDR. I am 25, my bf is 27. We have been together for almost 3 years. We moved in together last July and he graduated from college last August. He was having trouble finding a job after that and around Christmas his uncle offered him a job with his company in Atalnta. He is supposed to stay down there for up to six months to train and then return to Indiana to start the business here. He has been gone for 2 months. We have seen each other every weekend so far. Either I go down there, or we meet in Tennessee. I even just spent my whole spring break down ther with him. I am having a hard time not overanalyzing every little thing that he says. I interpret everything as "You don't want to be with me anymore" or "you don't want to see me". He is very frustrated by this and I am too. He is very good to me and we have talked a lot about the future. I am just so afraid that he will leave, and it is a totally irrational fear, it just drives me nuts!! He is having issues with finances and so am I, plus I also have a full time job and go to school full time. He is trying to save money and says we can't always see each other on the wekends. This coming weekend will be the first that we haven't seen each other, and I have already made plans to hang out with my best friend so I wouldn't go crazy. Why is this so hard for me? Anyone have any tips on how to deal with these feelings. Sometines I feel like I need therapy! I appreciate any responses.

[moimeme]

Read Thinkalot's posts. She's had a real battle with insecurity.

 

Basically, you fear losing him and that fear is making you panic. You might be able to talk yourself out of it. If you're finding you're having no success, it might very well be a good idea to talk to a counsellor for a few sessions.

[Thinkalot]

moimeme's right. Try and write things down which seem rational, and will counteract your fears and panicky thoughts. ie..write down all the reasons you have to feel secure with him, and don't need to worry. read it the next time you start to become fearful. It might help keep you balanced and grounded. It's tough, i know, but you can start to feel better if you get control of your thought patterns now. Good luck. Once you relax, your man will feel even happier with you, believe me!

[aegabriel]

thanks guys you are cool