J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Do you think it's highly unusual and rare for a very attractive and slender female who looks around 24-25 to eat by herself in a nice restaurant? Not five star restaurant but a restaurant where they have table cloth and cloth napkins instead of paper ones? And perhaps eating a meal of asparagus and scallops or even crab and oysters by herself? I'm not talking about an attractive woman eating while out on business. I am talking about eating in her hometown, around the area where she lives. I'm not very sociable, don't really want or enjoy company and don't have any gf's. Is it weird to go to nice restaurants alone? And not traveling either but around the cities where I live? Would you stare if you saw a woman eating alone? Would you wonder why she has no friends? Would you feel sorry for her? People like to say that other people don't pay attention to strangers and are too absorbed with their own surroundings to pay attention. However I disagree. If I was with people and I saw someone eating alone I WOULD notice. So it's not true that people are too self absorbed to notice. Some DO notice. I don't see why I should eat at home just cause I have no friends. I like to eat good food and be served.
somedude81 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 The persons attractiveness and gender are irrelevant. In western culture, it is unusual to see a person eating alone at a nice restaurant. Going out by oneself, it's more acceptable to sit at the bar or in the general area. If you want to do it people may or may not notice. So what? It's not they are going to point in laugh. The most they might do is talk amongst themselves if even that.
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 The persons attractiveness and gender are irrelevant. In western culture, it is unusual to see a person eating alone at a nice restaurant. Going out by oneself, it's more acceptable to sit at the bar or in the general area. If you want to do it people may or may not notice. So what? It's not they are going to point in laugh. The most they might do is talk amongst themselves if even that. I hate the bar area because I don't want to sit next to someone. I don't want to talk to anyone; just eat. I also don't want to eat facing the bartender. I like privacy when I eat; the food tastes better that way and I can enjoy it more. I actually went out to a nice restaurant alone a few weeks ago but I sat outside so no one really saw me though. So it wasn't really that intimidating. I have also done it before and sat inside and that was a bit more weird. I think Western society accepts men eating alone more. I feel more self conscious as a woman and feel like people would judge me MORE because women tend to be more sociable and do things in groups. Obviously I am not one of those women.
sugarmomma Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Nothing wrong with it. Jut take something to read like a kindle or something to keep you a lil preoccupied.
TouchedByViolet Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 I live walking distance to an oyster bar. They have an incredible oyster Rockefeller on their bar menu. I used to go there about twice a month by myself for food, drinks and the potential to meet new people. Nothing wrong with it and people don't judge. When you are at the bar/restaurant people are their to have fun not feel sorry or something. If anything you may meet people and make connections. In general, most people are more concerned with themselves than someone else. Although, one time i visited said oyster bar and the bar area was full and I was forced to sit at a table. A guy from another table kept looking over at me. he was having fun with his 10+ friends so I felt a little awkward. Like maybe he feels sad for me or something. He came over started talking to me and invited me over to the group which I was very much happy about, better than just getting looks. It was fun and interesting meeting everyone until the guy put his arm around me and tried to make a move on me. I turned him down at which he left the bar and turned off his cell phone so his friends couldn't find him. he was a good looking guy too lol
Nexus One Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 I think Western society accepts men eating alone more. I feel more self conscious as a woman and feel like people would judge me MORE because women tend to be more sociable and do things in groups. Obviously I am not one of those women. Why would they judge you? You are consuming a meal. Every person on the planet needs energy intake. If someone judges you for eating alone I would consider that person weird. It's like judging someone for sleeping, everyone does it, everyone needs to. I don't see why the fear of that should have to spoil your pleasure of enjoying a meal, albeit alone. I don't think guys would judge you. They might eyeball you and think you're hot or even approach you, but judge you for consuming a meal alone? No I don't think they would judge you. I don't know about women though, I don't know how they view that.
somedude81 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 [quote=TouchedByViolet;3268194 ]He came over started talking to me and invited me over to the group which I was very much happy about, better than just getting looks. It was fun and interesting meeting everyone until the guy put his arm around me and tried to make a move on me. I turned him down at which he left the bar and turned off his cell phone so his friends couldn't find him. he was a good looking guy too lol I just want to point out, despite the avatar, TBV is a guy. Now read it again
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Why would they judge you? You are consuming a meal. Every person on the planet needs energy intake. If someone judges you for eating alone I would consider that person weird. It's like judging someone for sleeping, everyone does it, everyone needs to. I don't see why the fear of that should have to spoil your pleasure of enjoying a meal, albeit alone. I don't think guys would judge you. They might eyeball you and think you're hot or even approach you, but judge you for consuming a meal alone? No I don't think they would judge you. I don't know about women though, I don't know how they view that. Yes they would judge, I told my ex-best friend once (also a female) that I went out to eat by myself and she was like "omg how sad!". She sad it's sad to eat out alone and that she would NEVER eat out by herself. People judge because people usually eat in groups or with friends (in the majority of decent restaurants). Therefore a person eating out alone will stand out. I read online that some people felt "sorry" for solo diners and that it made them feel "sad" to watch someone eating alone. It is VERY common for people to feel this way.
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 I live walking distance to an oyster bar. They have an incredible oyster Rockefeller on their bar menu. I used to go there about twice a month by myself for food, drinks and the potential to meet new people. Nothing wrong with it and people don't judge. When you are at the bar/restaurant people are their to have fun not feel sorry or something. If anything you may meet people and make connections. In general, most people are more concerned with themselves than someone else. Although, one time i visited said oyster bar and the bar area was full and I was forced to sit at a table. A guy from another table kept looking over at me. he was having fun with his 10+ friends so I felt a little awkward. Like maybe he feels sad for me or something. He came over started talking to me and invited me over to the group which I was very much happy about, better than just getting looks. It was fun and interesting meeting everyone until the guy put his arm around me and tried to make a move on me. I turned him down at which he left the bar and turned off his cell phone so his friends couldn't find him. he was a good looking guy too lol I am not interested in talking or associating with anyone at the restaurant. I don't want to talk to anyone (anti-social). Only eat!
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 Nothing wrong with it. Jut take something to read like a kindle or something to keep you a lil preoccupied. I don't feel like I have to pretend to read something or fiddle with a phone to keep me preoccupied. Those are suggestions generally given to solo diners byt why should I read? I want to sit and savor the moment while waiting for the food and then savor my food and enjoy. Why should I pretend to read a book or a Kindle just because I am alone? I don't feel I should have to compensate by doing all that just because I am alone. Btw, I also make sure to tip like 30 percent when I'm alone; cause I am representing solo female diners and want the waiters to know that we have money too. (Otherwise they might treat us like crap because they are wasting a table on one diner when they could have more). Also many waiters might think that female solo diners are bad tippers, which I am not and I tip extra to make sure they get the point.
Eddie Edirol Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 if you dont care about having friends or making them, and want to stay in your own world, why would you care if people judged you for eating alone? Who cares? If people kept approaching you to make conversation I would understand, but if no one is bothering you, what do you care if they notice? Even if they judged you, does it change the way your food tastes? Who cares if they felt "sorry" for you, it changes nothing about your meal. As long as they arent physically interrupting your meal, its all in your head. Youre deliberately letting it affect you if you think this way. They arent doing it, you are. I eat alone ALL the time, AND I dont answer people when they ask me "how are you" in public. Do they think Im rude or impolite? I dont know because I could care less.
Nexus One Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Yes they would judge, I told my ex-best friend once (also a female) that I went out to eat by myself and she was like "omg how sad!". She sad it's sad to eat out alone and that she would NEVER eat out by herself. People judge because people usually eat in groups or with friends (in the majority of decent restaurants). Therefore a person eating out alone will stand out. I read online that some people felt "sorry" for solo diners and that it made them feel "sad" to watch someone eating alone. It is VERY common for people to feel this way. First time I heard about that. Never thought about that actually, but perhaps that's because I really dislike judging people, so I perhaps don't project that onto other people very much. I generally do my thing and I let others do theirs, as long as they don't hurt anybody I don't see the need to judge them.
Titania22 Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 There's nothing wrong with it. If I am hungry and want to eat something specific and i'm by myself I will just go. No problem. Don't let other people stop you from living how you want to live. My girlfriend would never go into a bar or nightclub by herself, most times in my life that i have been, were by myself. At 19 i jumped on a plane to american with a 6mth ticket by myself. It is truly just about you doing the things you want to without waiting for someone to hold your hand. Most people that don't, don't do it because they are scared or worried what people will think. Screw that! Live life and let everyone else think what they want.
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 if you dont care about having friends or making them, and want to stay in your own world, why would you care if people judged you for eating alone? Who cares? If people kept approaching you to make conversation I would understand, but if no one is bothering you, what do you care if they notice? Even if they judged you, does it change the way your food tastes? Who cares if they felt "sorry" for you, it changes nothing about your meal. As long as they arent physically interrupting your meal, its all in your head. Youre deliberately letting it affect you if you think this way. They arent doing it, you are. I eat alone ALL the time, AND I dont answer people when they ask me "how are you" in public. Do they think Im rude or impolite? I dont know because I could care less. I'm kinda weird; I don't care if people think I am rude or impolite. I also frequently ignore strangers who talk to me and I could care less if they think I'm rude. (I'm rude all the time). I think I'm just self-obsessed and I like to know what people are thinking about me. You could argue that it doesn't matter; since it won't change the taste of my food and since I don't seem to care for friends. I guess I am just nosy and always like to know what people think of me, even if they are strangers. It's a combination vanity or self-obsession. I find it interesting to know what people are thinking about me.
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 There's nothing wrong with it. If I am hungry and want to eat something specific and i'm by myself I will just go. No problem. Don't let other people stop you from living how you want to live. My girlfriend would never go into a bar or nightclub by herself, most times in my life that i have been, were by myself. At 19 i jumped on a plane to american with a 6mth ticket by myself. It is truly just about you doing the things you want to without waiting for someone to hold your hand. Most people that don't, don't do it because they are scared or worried what people will think. Screw that! Live life and let everyone else think what they want. I don't have the guts to go to a club or bar alone. However, I have always wanted to travel alone; that to me is less scary than going to a club alone (I would feel like a loser and it would be like high school all over again). Plus girls can be mean and competitive. On a trip I would feel more relaxed and empowered.
Kaplan Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 I think I would notice if I saw a lady sitting by herself at a nice restaurant, but I wouldn't judge her or try to figure out why she was alone. I personally only ever go to restaurants for social reasons, but I'm not much of a food person. I can see someone who had a greater appreciation for good food going to a restaurant just to eat. I know you aren't concerned about what people think of you, but I really think that if you go to a restaurant alone you should bring a notebook with you. That way everyone will think you're a food critic and you'll get the best service. I think this poem has a funny line about eating alone at restaurants:
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 I think I would notice if I saw a lady sitting by herself at a nice restaurant, but I wouldn't judge her or try to figure out why she was alone. I personally only ever go to restaurants for social reasons, but I'm not much of a food person. I can see someone who had a greater appreciation for good food going to a restaurant just to eat. I know you aren't concerned about what people think of you, but I really think that if you go to a restaurant alone you should bring a notebook with you. That way everyone will think you're a food critic and you'll get the best service. I think this poem has a funny line about eating alone at restaurants: The video doesn't really apply to me; pretty much I have always been alone. Being around people is an anomaly to me. The video is geared towards people who are used to it; I already am used to it. Maybe not totally used to eating alone in a public setting but I pretty much do everything in life alone.
Nexus One Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 I don't understand how on one side you don't care about being rude to other people, yet at the same time worry what they think about you when you go out eating. Because the second you're rude to someone their opinion of you drops significantly. However, in that case their opinion doesn't seem to bother you, yet what does seem to bother you is how they judge you when you're eating? That kind of seems paradoxical to me.
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) I don't understand how on one side you don't care about being rude to other people, yet at the same time worry what they think about you when you go out eating. Because the second you're rude to someone their opinion of you drops significantly. However, in that case their opinion doesn't seem to bother you, yet what does seem to bother you is how they judge you when you're eating? That kind of seems paradoxical to me. I dunno to be honest. That's how I feel though. When I am rude I choose to be rude or I'm in a bad mood and lashing out. However when I'm eating out I'm more relaxed I guess. I admit I'm self-absorbed so I like to know what people are thinking. When I'm rude I already know what they are thinking' she is a BIATCH. When I'm eating alone it's more ambiguous. Also, it's cause I'm fascinated by the topic of eating alone. I have spent hours reading articles and forum posts about it. I just find it so interesting. Some people are ok with it while other shudder and tremble at the thought. That's probably also a big reason why I care about what people think. I find the topic of eating alone in a restaurant very thought provoking. I think it takes IMMENSE courage and bravery for someone to eat alone in a nice restaurant. It's a big statement to make. Many people will live their whole lives without having the courage to do it. (I'm talking about DINNER, not lunch. Lunch is easier and doesn't count). I guarantee that that there will be many people in America who will never be able to eat out in a nice restaurant alone for dinner. Edited February 27, 2011 by J200
wbr4p Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 very attractive, slender, 24-25 ..but how old really? 17? i think when ure about in your mid 20s u know these things. and yeah its ok.
Kaplan Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 I just want to point out, despite the avatar, TBV is a guy. Now read it again Is that true? Anyway, I think it makes sense to be fascinated by the unknown of what other people are thinking, even if you don't actually care what they think of you. I can relate to being alone all the time. I like being alone personally. But I can't relate to wanting to eat in a restaurant alone. I mean, I'm not going to pay $50 for a meal unless there's some kind of social force pressuring me to do so. I'm a loner but also a cheapskate.
Sugarkane Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 There's nothing wrong with it. If I am hungry and want to eat something specific and i'm by myself I will just go. No problem. Don't let other people stop you from living how you want to live. My girlfriend would never go into a bar or nightclub by herself, most times in my life that i have been, were by myself. At 19 i jumped on a plane to american with a 6mth ticket by myself. It is truly just about you doing the things you want to without waiting for someone to hold your hand. Most people that don't, don't do it because they are scared or worried what people will think. Screw that! Live life and let everyone else think what they want. I completely agree with you. For some reason though most people are too scared to eat alone in public though. I sometimes eat alone aswell. I haven't had anyone bother me yet.
Nexus One Posted February 27, 2011 Posted February 27, 2011 Also, it's cause I'm fascinated by the topic of eating alone. I have spent hours reading articles and forum posts about it. I just find it so interesting. Some people are ok with it while other shudder and tremble at the thought. That's probably also a big reason why I care about what people think. I find the topic of eating alone in a restaurant very thought provoking. I think it takes IMMENSE courage and bravery for someone to eat alone in a nice restaurant. It's a big statement to make. Many people will live their whole lives without having the courage to do it. (I'm talking about DINNER, not lunch. Lunch is easier and doesn't count). I guarantee that that there will be many people in America who will never be able to eat out in a nice restaurant alone for dinner. That made me laugh, but in a good way. I think I'll go out eating in a restaurant ALONE just due to this reply, I'll dedicate the meal to you J200.
Author J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Author Posted February 27, 2011 That made me laugh, but in a good way. I think I'll go out eating in a restaurant ALONE just due to this reply, I'll dedicate the meal to you J200. http://www.google.com/search?q=eat+alone+restaurant+&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&client=firefox-a&rlz=1R1GGLL_en___US401 Very interesting articles on the subject
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