emeraldcity Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 I feel like I lost so much when my boyfriend broke up with me 8 months ago. We were together for over a year, and during that time I have never been as close to anyone before. What I am finding now is that all of the music that I used to love while we were together, I can no longer listen to. I feel as though I have been robbed of all of the music that used to enrich my life. I can't listen to it, its too painful. All of the feelings I used to have when I listened to that music, come back to haunt me. All of those songs used to mean so much to me on a personal and spiritual level. They would tell the story about my love for my ex, and set the atmosphere of our relationship. Will I ever be able to listen to the music again? Link to post Share on other sites
jonathan Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 I to feel the same way you do. it has been 4 weeks now and I still find it hard to listen to the music that I liked so much cause they remind me of her. but I have found that if you listen to them and get out all the crying and the pain, it helps alot. Every song that I listen to, the ones I hate and the ones I love reminds me of her. I promise you that when you get over this the songs will feel the same but only without the hurt hurt as much. time will tell and is the only cure for this. either you let time be you enemy or let it be your friend. you choose but choose carefully. you will one day look back at all this and just smile. trust me I'm there. and I know what you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 I understand... I cant even listen to songs we listened to together in the past 8 years. Alot of songs remind me of him. These songs like you said... brought me happiness and I sang along with them. Now I avoid them. its sooo hard. I havent seen my fiance in over a month and a half. I am going through tremendous pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Layla Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 Oh boy, I so agree!! I was with my ex-boyfriend for almost five years; we lived in different European cities together and sort of "grew older" together. I was with him from 22 to 27! When we broke up two years ago, I could listen to hardly ANY music any more, as pretty much any famous song had a personal story to tell. (eg, the first night out, the beginning stage of the relationship, the first time missing a plane, first SERIOUS fight, that significant conversation in the car.....) Or just that summer song , that would be wherever we'd go in summer 1999 etc. I can promise you that it will get better and you will listen to those songs again with a smile on your face. it just takes time. I am in a new relationship now and have my new songs! Don't want to lose them again!! But sometimes imagine how MISERABLE it would be if we broke up. There is this song (a really cheasy one and my boyfriend doesn't know it's "ours") When we started going out it was on all the radio channels and I loved the lyrics as it was us two together!! I advise you to avoid listening to those songs for a while. It just hurts too much and makes you realise what you've lost. But trust me, you will be able to listen to them again! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 I'm glad someone started a thread on this. I totally agree. Listening to all your 'old' songs will drive you insane and hinder any chance of moving on. I have entire bands I can no longer listen to. Now that it's over, I did hear one I liked the other day. I first thought of him....then thought OH HELL NO...he's not getting this song. I dedicate it in my heart to the NEXT guy in my life. I saved the song. LOL!! It sounds silly, but music DOES play a big part in manipulating your emotions. You have to stay in control of it or cry forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Hendrix Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 well try being a guitarist who played songs for his ex girlfriend heh i also put her name on my guitar which didnt help one bit!, but i still play them songs today, but it makes me happy to play those songs since they mean alot to me.... but this was a few weeks ago, ive beein pretty much doin ok since, + on sat a girl came onto me, she went to kiss me but for some odd reason i cudnt, duno why! since i was pretty drunk n stuff But, its strange, and unexpected, but I dont know weather i shud start trying to get to know her more etc... + i read my star sign next day and it said - "that u have been to quick to judge a person who showed up on your social scene, give them a chance to prove themselves, they may not fit into your mould of what ur one and only shud be but do u really think you eill find anyone as perfect as the other one was?" i though that was pretty freaky, But im seen my ex on wed, so Ill see how it goes from then on... Link to post Share on other sites
jonathan Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 you cant bottle up your feelings. one day they will come out. dealing with this right now will make the difference. I have so many songs that remind me of my ex. I stop listening to the songs that I loved and she loves ( like BLINK182- I miss you) that gets me every time. If music is what you love, take it from them and listen to them, they been through it just like you. the storys they have and that are telling makes sense. Just trust me. I cant beleive I will ever get over my ex but listening to the songs we loved DOES help. Cry and sing with if you have to, that is what I did. it is getting to the point that I have some of the songs back but like I said, BLINK182- I miss you gets me every time so I stay away from that one. take it day by day. listen to this song hoobastank- the reason. it is a good song to help you get over it. even if you do not like the song, Just listen to the story that he has told. Link to post Share on other sites
jonathan Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 there is alot of people going through what you are going through and I'm one of them. and we all have different ways of dealing with the pain. I am listening to one of the songs that kill me inside(our lady peace- not enough) and I'm crying cause I miss her and it hurts but it will make me a better person in the long run. I dont want to tell you to listen to the songs that hurt, but for me... I need to cry about it and I need to let it out or I will crack. trust me listening to this song kills me and I dont want to hurt. it is like this, you have a cut ,in order for the healing process to start there has to be a cut and it has to hurt first. so I feel, It is going to hurt weather or not you want it to. listening to these songs are like my band-aid. i have started the healing process and one day, the cut will heal. Hang in there, you will look back at all this and just SMILE and I will to Link to post Share on other sites
ladyangel Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 I hope this isn't too far off topic since it doesn't have to do with a song that reminds me of a lover. But we lost my stepson 4 years ago in a motorcycle accident. One of the songs we played at the funeral was "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan. It's a beautiful song, but I cannot listen to it without getting chills and crying. If it comes on the radio, I turn it off because it is too painful. When I hear Amazing Grace on bagpipes it also has a similar effect, but in a way it brings a smile to my face because it was something that his brother wanted played in just that way at the graveside and we paid the price to make it happen. He was very happy about it. Sometimes songs can make you smile and make you cry at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwen25 Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 ugh, i know what you guys mean. i can't even take a short drive without finding meaning that relates to my relationships in ALLl the darn songs. some are happy songs reminding me of the good times, like CELINE DION's "love doesn't ask why". some are sad reminding of my present state. some, like NO DOUBT's "don't speak", that make me want to jump off a bridge (ok, ok, maybe its not thaaat bad). i think we should all listen to alanis morrisette! we'll feel better...hehehhehe. come on people, cheer up! just think that we will be listening to new songs with new people in our lives. the first break up is usually the hardest, no matter how stupid or perfect the ex was. other break ups are hard also, but in time, you'll be amazed, YOU WILL HEAL. its ok to feel sad right now...it may take months, maybe even a year. but someone will find you and sweep you off your feet and you'll soon start to feel like a new person again. your old love will never go away, it will hopefully become a good memory, a good learning experience for your future relationships. again, listen to alanis! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 Originally posted by ladyangel I turn it off because it is too painful. I'm with you on that one. Once I've associated a song with a sad event in my life, I try to avoid it. Maybe Jonathan has a good idea though about listening to it and facing the pain. If I ever get the courage....maybe I'll try that. Link to post Share on other sites
Hendrix Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 and a while back a few weeks after we broke up, i seen my ex kiss a guy.... bad enough eh?? But during the sweet child of mine solo!, may not mean much to u, but i always used to play that solo when i was in a G n' R cover band, + i played it for her a few times to... So that pretty much sucked, But I seem to be ok now heh, so i jus smile if im playing it and think, its her loss... Maybe im strange Link to post Share on other sites
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