love me leave me Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Met a guy through a close friend and have been chatting for 3 months now! He is a few hours away and at first I thought nothing would come of it, but we communicate almost everyday. He mentioned to me at the beginning (the first month) that he moves really slow and doesn't jump into anything and would like to get to know me more! I tend to move fast (not good)! I definetly felt chemistry when we met. I have made suggestions of us meeting up in his town or my town or halfway and he doesn't shoot down the idea but won't actually make plans. He's made excuses but keeps showing me he is interested by calling, texting etc.! I know his family and am certain he is an honest guy and is not seeing anyone, nonetheless, I am becoming frustrated and wondering if he has too much baggage from the past or is confused or perhaps his version of slow is really slow. I'm not interested in confused men! Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 He may not be that interested as I am pretty sure that a guy who is could hardly restrain himself from meeting up. Having said that, it's possible that he's been burnt before and is taking it slower this time. It's also possible that he likes you but does not feel a strong attraction so is effectively keeping it at an online friends level until he either feels more or less. You're frustrated and fed up with the way things are going. You could look elsewhere. I'm sure there are others you'd be interested in too, if this guy just isn't acting. If you are absolutely determined to make something of this relationship though, then I'd recommend that you back off, don't contact him as much, contact him for less time when you do and generally make him realise he has to work a bit harder if he's going to get your attention. It sounds like he's just sitting back and watching you dance at the moment, safe in the knowledge you will come to him. I'm a bit naughty, I know, but it would be fun to give him the message, subtly, that he's not the centre of your world and that you've got better things to do than wait for him to act. You've got to stick to it though. You might want to google push/pull techniques of communication. This guy has you interested and is managing to maintain your interest by providing minimal contact. You need to be aware that consciously or not, he's probably using some of these techniques or you would have given up by now. Good luck in waking him up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author love me leave me Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 Thank you this was helpful! We don't really do the on-line thing, mainly text and talk on the phone. I hate all these games we have to play! Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 I don't see it as a game but simply realising that you are giving more than you are getting and that guys can be put off if they think they are being pursued rather than being the pursuer. I'd be interested to know how you get on. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
lilymore Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 If you have feeling with him,you can move quickly. maybe he is afraid of jump so quick Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts