dreamingoftigers Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 That sounds awesome. Happy Birthday man. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 happy birthday, Craig! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 Thanks wgw-dot. I had a great day today with my daughter only problem is that the day Isn't long enough. Oh well coulple more days then I get her again. Link to post Share on other sites
gameslpdftfe Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 the best hotels and places i have ever been at check them our for your next trip îìåï ñôåøè ÷ìàá àéìú | çåó âéà | îìåï äîìê ùìîä àéìú Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Those little ones are so much fun :-) Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 By the way, American police, generally as a rule: much friendlier than Canadian police. Ohh yeah lol, I got roughed up by the police in Canada for no reason, If it wasn't for the fact I was going back to the UK to live the very next day, I'd have made a serious complaint. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Ohh yeah lol, I got roughed up by the police in Canada for no reason, If it wasn't for the fact I was going back to the UK to live the very next day, I'd have made a serious complaint. Let me guess: Calgary, Edmonton or Toronto. IME Calgary police are the worst in the US & Canada. Very very power-hungry etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 I don't get to see my daughter for a couple days now,this is the hard part. This is the thing I don't know how I'll be ok with. How does this get easier? How do you feel ok not seeing or being there everyday for your kid? I just don't think this is good for kids if there's a chance. So how do you guys do this? Do you feel ok being a part time parent? My wife tried to compare this as if we went on vacation alone. That we would leave her with grandma. I think she's crazy! There's a big difference from leaving your kid with their grandma for a week then there is with only being a part time parent. So ? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 If I were you, I think that I would start reading more. Lots more. And sharpen up those good old coping skills. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 Let me guess: Calgary, Edmonton or Toronto. IME Calgary police are the worst in the US & Canada. Very very power-hungry etc. Give you a clue, They speak French lol Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 Ha ha ha, They are a bit of a different bunch. For sure. Depends on what region you are in there, but in some areas the Anti-Anglo can be kinda....bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 Missing my little girl toady real bad. I get to take her tomorrow to a birthday party so that's good. Tomorrow can't get her fast enough. Link to post Share on other sites
debtman Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 How does this get easier? How do you feel ok not seeing or being there everyday for your kid? Sorry man...it doesn't get any easier. What it does is make you appreciate the time you do get a LOT more. There's nothing that makes you feel better about not seeing your kid(s) every day, but, at some point, you have to accept that it wasn't your decision and make the most of it... I just don't think this is good for kids if there's a chance. So how do you guys do this? Do you feel ok being a part time parent? Certainly not good for the kids. It's not the worst thing that will happen to them, but it doesn't help. Don't have much advice to offer you here Craig except make the most of what you have. Good luck and keep posting... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted August 28, 2011 Author Share Posted August 28, 2011 Thanks debtman, not the answer I was looking for tho. She went out with her "friends". I know because she text me to tell me that she would have the babysitter call me so I could say goodnight. I would of loved to takes her tonight but Instead she is with a babysitter. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 Hey, you're up late.:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 Thanks debtman, not the answer I was looking for tho. She went out with her "friends". I know because she text me to tell me that she would have the babysitter call me so I could say goodnight. I would of loved to takes her tonight but Instead she is with a babysitter. That's not uncommon. Link to post Share on other sites
missoz Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 Really interesting reading your posts, I am going thorough the same thing my husband of 30 years left me 8 months ago, its the toughest time I have ever known. I still cannot give up on what was a good and happy marriage, we have not discussed getting back together as he will not talk about anything emotional, in fact we dont talk much at all now. He is with another women, but I dont believe he is happy, just a gut feeling. What is the 180 and were can I find out about it? Part of me thinks he has had a massive mid life crisis/breakdown, I still care and worry about him. Is there hope ? Any advice/ support would be great Link to post Share on other sites
BrettLost Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 Craig, Indeed I too feel replaced as a dominant male role model to my daughters simply going off time i get compared to OM. Makes me sick actually... what can u do. Like most hard working dads, the weekends are really the only time u can afford time with them, with their kindy/school requirements not fitting into ur most times longer working hours.... For awhile i felt like a babysitter for STBXW so she could have her weekend free with OM... I began to weigh up the value of each others weekend choice. a) she gets free time with OM to do wtf ever (big deal- gets wasted?) b) u get precious 1 on 1 time with ur kids as u see fit, doin things with them that cant be done during the week. As they get older, Im hoping these encounters will be valued more than the day to day life with their mum. Even while at home, Im sure OM takes most of her attention away from kids anyway. My kids tell me they do ***** all with their mum now... even to the point where my eldest, 7, is worried when i get a gf that the same will happen. So young, but they are ONTO IT in a big way. Link to post Share on other sites
BrettLost Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 The other mental trap is to constantly wonder if ur kids needs are being met while they are in her and OM's care. Does no good, u cant change it. In the end, if things are bad or wrong, ur kids WILL tell daddy, n daddy will get even. Link to post Share on other sites
carson2002 Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 Really interesting reading your posts, I am going thorough the same thing my husband of 30 years left me 8 months ago, its the toughest time I have ever known. I still cannot give up on what was a good and happy marriage, we have not discussed getting back together as he will not talk about anything emotional, in fact we dont talk much at all now. He is with another women, but I dont believe he is happy, just a gut feeling. What is the 180 and were can I find out about it? Part of me thinks he has had a massive mid life crisis/breakdown, I still care and worry about him. Is there hope ? Any advice/ support would be great Hi missoz I can Sympathise, my wife left after 31 years and like in your situation refuses to talk or give any explanation. You can find out more about the 180 by using the search facility at the top of the page and it's also linked in otherpeoples posts but if you really want help and advice i suggest that you start your own thread otherwise things will get confusing mixing up your stuff with Craig2425's thread and people may ignore your posts because of that. Link to post Share on other sites
missoz Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 Thanks for that Link to post Share on other sites
debtman Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 Thanks debtman, not the answer I was looking for tho. She went out with her "friends". I know because she text me to tell me that she would have the babysitter call me so I could say goodnight. I would of loved to takes her tonight but Instead she is with a babysitter. Yeah, sorry man...by far, the hardest thing...My stbx and I have something called "right of first refusal" as part of our separation agreement. That means that if either one of us has something to do when we have the kids, the other person gets the FIRST call before a sitter, family member, etc. That has given me much more time since I know she needs her time to go out with OM...even though she always tells me she's working whenever she doesn't have the kids. BrettLost, good point. I absolutely feel that the time I have with my kids now is better than the time I spent with them when we were a family. I think I just saw it as more of an obligation then whereas now, I see it as an opportunity. And it's absolutely true that OM takes attention away from the kids. Good luck Craig, Brett, missoz...all of us. and keep posting... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted August 29, 2011 Author Share Posted August 29, 2011 Had a rough day today. Everyday I find more sneaky stuff out about stbxw. 1. Started to ignore me 2. Said she needed space to figure herself out 3. Said she can't do this anymore 4. Said she doesn't love me like she should 5. Started talking to her bf from our split only know of four times and apparently they text too. 6. She swears ts not what I think and he has a gf I don't buy it for a second. 7. Started to delete some pics fringed facebook with us in them. Not all but a couple. 8. Today she blocked her friend list on facebook and started to delete some of her posts. Then I had mt daughter tell me she wants to go home and not stay with me. After all this that just crushed me. I know she doesn't mean it but still it hurt. Sucks that the one person we let into our hearts we never think would ever hurt us like this but they do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 So I've had the best time the past couple of days. I had my daughter Sunday(wasn't my day) for a birthday party Then I had her yesterday and today. I've been in the house with her alone(part of our agreement to make this easier on our daughter for now. Move her slower and let her stay in one place for awhile. But now that it's over I'm struggling big time. I'll take her to school tomorrow and won't get her till the weekend(it's my weekend). I know it's not that long but I look at it like this. If I'm already having a hard time and it's only going to be a couple day whats it going to be like next Tuesday after I drop her off and I don't see her for five? Guess like everything else time will heal. Link to post Share on other sites
debtman Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Yes it will. I spent the last 2 weeks working out of town during the week and only saw the kids on the weekends. It sucked, but, being able to call every night and talk with them helped. Unfortunately, I have to talk to my stbx as well, but, it's worth it to talk with the kids. Missing time with them sucks, but it just makes the time that I do spend with them that much more valuable... The time I don't have them I try to fill with EVERYTHING I can to keep myself distracted and engaged. It certainly helps and I've made lots of new friends and found some new hobbies and activities that I'll eventually get to introduce the kids to... Good luck and keep posting... Link to post Share on other sites
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