P&R Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 My girlfriend told me about a movie friend she has. They go out every week, sometimes twice a week to see a movie and a bite to eat. They have been doing this before I was in a relationship. Her friend is a guy and they go out alone together. I see my girlfriend outside of college 1 day a week if I'm lucky.... She says he has a girlfriend but I'm still weary of this guy... Infact I'm jealous. I'm jealous of her time... I want to see movies with her.. I want to be the one talking about how crappy that b grade horror movie was. I'm also uncomfortable because she mentioned something about a friend she had a crush on. She rejected every guy except me because they never compared to this friend. I'm wondering if he's the guy. I told her I was ok with it but in the back of my mind I'm having many doubts. How do I deal with this jealousy? I don't want to be that jealous, controlling prick of a boyfriend, yet something about this situation just seems off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author P&R Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 I also owe her an explanation.. I was was cooking something when she came to the door. I texted and told her if she waited for a sec to come over I'd give her some home cooked food.( she was bringing me something I left at her house) she said she was going to go out to dinner than grab a bite to eat with this guy. I was reserved then she texted me is there anything wrong because that was really awkward. I didnt text anything for 5 hours and now I owe her an explanation. What should I say? Should I tell her that I don't want to know when she's hanging out with this movie guy because im jealous but I don't want to cut her off from a friend or should I just play it off? Link to post Share on other sites
avenger Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 You need to dump her.... You are boyfriend number 2. If he was a movie buddy it should be a group outing. I have female friends and I do not go out with them alone but with a group. We all know each other....... She is neglecting you and seeing this other guy behind your back it seems like. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I agree that you are clearly boyfriend number 2. If the roles were reversed would she be accepting as you if you would constantly being going out to dinner and movie with a lady friend? She has no idea what it is to be in a committed relationship. It does not sound that you are in much of a relationship. You need to respect yourself. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Hey P&R, I have a movie buddy, and I have a boyfriend. my movie buddy is a man, and he's single and NOT GAY My bf doesn't mind that I have a movie buddy - I asked him if it bugged him (just to be sure that we are all ok and on the same page). BUT, unlike your gf, I don't spend more time with my movie buddy than I do with my bf. I don't even see my movie buddy on a weekly basis, its more once in a month or so...not a big deal. I think you need to be honest with your gf about how you'd like to spend more time with her, and that maybe she can do movies with her MB once a week or once every 2 weeks and that you guys can do some as a couple as well. If she gets all defensive and isn't willing to meet you half way - then there's way more to it than meets the eye. If she's willing to meet you half way and make cut back (a little) on her MB time and instead hang out with you - then you have nothin to worry about. Just be honest with her - because if you're pretending to be fine with all this and just building up resentment - then whatever probs you guys end up having - would be as much your fault as they are hers - simply because you didn't express what you needed and wanted from the R. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 She can't see the guy behind his back if he knows about it. Is there a reason for why you only get to see her one day a week? Or is this just how she prefers it? Any reason why you cannot go with them to see the movie and grab a bite to eat? I can understand why you'd feel jealous about time management, especially if there is nothing preventing you from being included. The guy might be harmless and could end up being your friend too. At the very least if she brought him around you'd have a clearer impression of the nature of their friendship. Try to act on fact rather than your worst possible imaginings. That stuff just fogs your head up till you don't know anything for certain. Its your relationship too and there should be no subject that is off the table for discussion. Tell her you want more time with her and to be more included in the things she enjoys doing. If you come at her calmly and pleasantly rather than accusatory about the subject and she balks over introducing you two and including you then you know she is up to no good. Link to post Share on other sites
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