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Our relationship is old, please help!!


flaNancy

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I am 38 years young and very good at giving others advice, but not for myself. My boyfriend and I have been together for9 years now, plus recently have a 9 month old baby boy. Before we were together, we had bad relationships and both had been married for 10 years. Marriage seems like a piece of paper,so we say we're husband and wife. We were in the grocery store and my "husband" saw a friend of a friend. He went to introduce me and said "this is the baby's mom". I thought I heard it wrong. And just stood there in shock. More I thought about it the madder I got. Make me feel like I was nobody. He said I am the mother and he didn't mean anything bad about it. Lately, he says he doesn't have no money to take me out, but yet I watch our son and work part time and still have extra. I don't know what to do . I feel he has no respect for me and I financially, with a baby , feel I can't make it by myself, not yet anyway. This relationship started as 2 best friends getting together and trust me it doesn't work. We use to talk about anything. Now he has an attitude if I say something he doesn't want to hear, but it's ok for him to say thing to me. I am really tring to make it work but he says he doesn't care everytime I suggest something, whether it's food or to go somewhere. Here we go with mind games. Please give me some advice what to do. What to say.I hate feeling like "married with children"!

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I don't have alot of advice, I am about your age and in a crappy relationship/marriage.

 

My wife and I didn't get legally married until our daughter was 16 months old and now (our daughter is almost 8) she will never let me live it down that I didn't propose when she was pregnant.

 

She still uses her first husband's last name and refuses to change it to my last name.

 

Our relationship started out as 2 friends who partied, had fun and had sex. Once we got settled down with child we found we have different goals and interests.

 

Thus I am stuck in this miserable loveless relationship. Sure I could leave but then what? Go back to the dating scene and get hooked up with another woman with a boat load of problems?

 

Being that I am over 40 all the woman my age have a ton of problems and/or debts or if they don't they have never had a real relationship because they are insane.

 

The grass ain't no greener over yonder, baby.

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Hmm... perhaps the only advice I can offer you is just to tell him how you feel. See what kind of response you get.. Maybe if he still acts like he doesn't care.. look into counseling. Do what you feel is best. God Bless.

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There isn't much you can do if he's not interested in working on the marriage but you can give a couple things a shot.

 

You can try reading <URL removed> and even their forum. They have quite a few people trying to mend marriages on their own. Sometimes, it is possible to get one's spouse interested again.

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