gkaplan000 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Hi, My wife and I hvae started sleeping in separate beds due to her restless leg syndrome and my snoring. We actual have started to get along better because we are sleeping better. I would like to know if anybody else sleep in separate quarters then their spouse. I am not 100% sure this is good for the marriage, however we both have been sleeping great and we have been more intimate and have been getting along better. What do you think?? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Only time we sleep apart is when one of us is sick. Sometimes I can't sleep at night and I'll go into the guest bedroom until I'm ready to fall asleep, watch TV, play on the laptop, then I come back into bed and join him. You two should spend as much time together in bed, cuddle, talk, kiss, fool around, have sex... Then when you're both ready, move into another room. Don't get into the habit of spending 'alone' time in bed without one another unless you're actually sleeping. It's good you're getting better sleep. I think there's nothing wrong with your sleeping arrangement, if it works for you and your wife, you're getting along better and having good rest, then do it. Don't let anybody make you feel like it's wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gkaplan000 Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 Thanks for the input... We spend alot of time together before we go to bed. Then when either one of us is ready to go to sleep that is when I go to a separate room. We do sleep in the same bed from time to time but I really like the fact that we are getting better sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Hi, My wife and I hvae started sleeping in separate beds due to her restless leg syndrome and my snoring. We actual have started to get along better because we are sleeping better. I would like to know if anybody else sleep in separate quarters then their spouse. I am not 100% sure this is good for the marriage, however we both have been sleeping great and we have been more intimate and have been getting along better. What do you think?? I have restless leg syndrome, like around 20% of the worlds population. Occasionaly my wife complains. I just stay awake until she falls asleep then no more problems. I also find that Restless leg gets waaaayyyy better with less cafeine intake and more excercise. As for the snoring, it sounds like an excuse to me. I bet your wife snores too lol Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 What do you think?? I think, if it's working for you and you feel better and have more and healthier intimacy, it's a good thing. Getting a good night's sleep is important for long-term health, IMO. When I was married, we did sleep in the same bed and I wore earplugs since my exW snored like a freight train. She said I very rarely snored and then only mildly. Since she was very direct about such things, I believe her. We slept together until we physically separated and had separate homes. I'd have a hard time sleeping separately from my spouse but it's working for you, so I'd go with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I think, if it's working for you and you feel better and have more and healthier intimacy, it's a good thing. Getting a good night's sleep is important for long-term health, IMO. I agree completely with this. I think there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. As to the person who claimed snoring is 'just an excuse', well, speak for yourself! It affects some people more than others, and some people snore louder than others. My dad, for example, can be heard literally through brick walls, so whenever I was in the same room as him as a kid I couldn't sleep a wink. When we went on family vacations together, I didn't sleep for as long as the vacation lasted, which was often 3 days or so. Fortunately the bf barely snores at all - I'm very, very lucky in that regard. I'm extremely sensitive to noises when sleeping, so if I had a partner who constantly snored loudly, I probably would sleep separately. I think WWIU gives good advice re: intimacy before bedtime. I don't think it necessarily HAS to be before bedtime exactly, but as long as both of you are just taking some time to have intimacy, it should be good. Plenty of couples sleep together but don't have intimacy anyway - they just lie down and sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 as long as it has no impact on the level of intimacy y'all share, there's nothing wrong with sleeping in separate beds. We've been sleeping this way for about six years now, and frankly, unless the bed's really big (think king-size), it's kind of hard sharing because I'm so used to having the bed to myself. And it's actually kind of nice knowing you'll get uninterrupted sleep. Other nice thing? I'm not having to share the bed with the critters who insist on sleeping with their daddy Link to post Share on other sites
martini-mae Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Read up on it - You'd be surprised how many couples don't sleep in the same bed. Many sleep studies suggest that Ricky & Lucy Riccardo & Rob & Laura Petree had the right idea (LOL) Quality of sleep is very important! My husband & I occasionally sleep in separate beds (for a few years we did this every night) He is a snorer & has sleep apnea. He hates it when I sleep in the separate room, but he also (finally) understands how important sleep is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gkaplan000 Posted March 5, 2011 Author Share Posted March 5, 2011 we are both so much happier that we are getting more sleep. Actually our level of intimacy has gone up alot. For the last week almost everynight we have been spooning on the couch for a good hour or two.. We never used to do that. I feel that this sleeping separate is so much beter for our marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 If its good for the goose and good for the gander then it's good for your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 Odd that someone mentioned tv characters...Lucille Ball actually advocated separate sleeping quarters for married couples....She said it worked for her second marriage . TO the OP, glad you are both still finding that quality time to share in other ways... Link to post Share on other sites
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