Tony...Hate to admit you're right

[Paulie]

I hate to admit you're right, but there were certainly alot, I mean a real lot of great times together. This girl CONSTANTLY fed my head that we would always be together, loved me, etc. While I know you're right, Tony, and did heed your advice, her telling me she loved me still, made me cave in. I won't do it again. I have learned about strength, not being stepped on, etc. But I still need to come to terms with my feelings of inadequacy of not being man enough as the "new guy," and the fact that he is (to put it mildly) sleeping with the girl, who, previously meant so much to me. All the little, tender moments that she gave me, are now being given to this womanizer new guy. While I have lessons to learn, WHICH I AM LEARNING, beyond that, how do I come to terms with the fact that this person (shallow, immature as she may be) who I had alot of intimate moments with, is having sex with some guy who she percieves is more manly than me. Maybe even more fundamentally, how do you fall out of love and not care what they do?

[Tony T]

You have YOUR life to live and she has HER life to live. The Budhist philosophy will serve you best here. The Budhists believe in what they call the Eternal Now. Basically, that means the only time that exists is right now!!! No useful purpose is served about worrying about the past or the future because if you use the NOW to do that, you miss each moment of life entirely.

 

The point I'm trying to get at is that in each relationship, be there in the moment, enjoy it, relish it, etc. When it no longer exists, live in the moment you are in right now and relish and enjoy it. Find newer and more fulfilling moments. What has passed was enjoyed but it has passed. It just no longer exists.

 

Now, if you want to be completely and viciously cruel to yourself, you can think about this ex slut of yours having mad, passionate sex with this worthless scumbag in Europe. Hey, doesn't bother me. But I think that's pretty insane. Be thankful that you enjoyed three years with her, learned your lessons, and move on.

 

You need to make a great opportunity out of this to evolve and grow as a person and as a man. Today is the first day of your life. Make some new rules for yourself. Start taking charge of your life and your emotions. Be the boss over life...not the other way around.

 

I want to hear NO MORE of the girl. It sickens me to think about her. And if I ever hear of you taking her calls or getting back with her, I will see that the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits for ten years...and that your Internet service is terminated. How about them apples???

 

If you find yourself going mad over obsessive thoughts of this girl, get highly competent counselling to get through the worst parts. For my money, this girl isn't worth me putting my fingers on a keyboard for.