irc333 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Why do some women factor in their heels as part of their height? I saw this profile of an averaged sized woman: " Men 5'10" and taller are preferred because when I put on my 3- 4 inch heels - I am 5'10- 5'11"" So is actually 5'6". But, of course, puts me out of the running, because I'm 5'8" if she counts the heels. Why do women count the heels? Now, if she was a woman that was naturally 5'10", it would make sense to date a taller man, but this?? Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Why do women count the heels? Because she still wants you to be taller than her when you're out on a date. (or am I misunderstanding the question?) Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Well, you're on the right track, but why is this a concern for her? Why be so obsessed with height, that you have to count your heels? Because she still wants you to be taller than her when you're out on a date. (or am I misunderstanding the question?) Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I guess this woman consider heels as appendages to her body. And who wears 3 inch heels anyway? Gak, that sounds horrible. Guess she's not a burgers and fries type of date. I'd next on her for that reason alone. The only pass I give is for my wonderful grandmother (RIP). She was 4' 11' and always wore heels, even her slippers had heels. She was so beautiful and petite, that I can see why she loved heels so much. Her husband (my grandfather) was short too- maybe 5' 2". I don't think she minded seeing eye to eye with him. She was a tough cookie. I've been beating the height doesn't matter drum on Love Shack forever. It angers me to no end. But if a woman needs to bring up height as such a big issue, then she probably has little substance anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Well, you're on the right track, but why is this a concern for her? Why be so obsessed with height, that you have to count your heels? If you accept the idea that it's okay for a woman to want a man who is taller than her in the first place, then if she normally or at least often wears heels when on a date then it's not much of a stretch that she still wants the man to be taller. Why is it a concern for her? Because she has a preference. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) You're very good at stating the obvious, but it goes beyond the obvious and gets down to the core of how shallow this person is. Esp, if you're adding on a clothing accessory. It's not a preference actually. It's a requirement....a preference is something a person can compromise on. It's an unrealistic and obviously shallow expectation. If you accept the idea that it's okay for a woman to want a man who is taller than her in the first place, then if she normally or at least often wears heels when on a date then it's not much of a stretch that she still wants the man to be taller. Why is it a concern for her? Because she has a preference. Edited March 2, 2011 by irc333 Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 It's not a preference actually. It's a requirement....a preference is something a person can compromise on. Ok, I'll give you that... It's an unrealistic and obviously shallow expectation. ...but not this. It isn't unrealistic (but it might be shallow, I'm undecided on that). There are tall men. I'm one of them. I have a requirement for not dating women who are more than a foot shorter than me (without heels). I'd prefer them to be taller still. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I've been beating the height doesn't matter drum on Love Shack forever. It angers me to no end. But if a woman needs to bring up height as such a big issue, then she probably has little substance anyway. Height does matter... a lot. There are some women that are not crazy about tall guys, but I think a huge number do. It's like butts and boobs for guys rolled into one, which makes it crazy powerful. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I don't know. Tell me why some men are concerned over a girl wearing only skirts and dresses; it's only a preference, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Women who wear heels generally like men who are way taller than them, in society it looks asthetically better. They also like men who are bigger than them in general. Its just the way it is. So if youre 5'8", you have to look for a very short woman, and you will be good to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 This just goes to prove that people are extremely picky in online dating. A woman who states her preference for men of a certain height might actually be attracted to a shorter guy if she met him in person and he was fun and charismatic. But in online dating it's all too easy to set arbitrary rules for people's height, weight, income, etc - in the absence of physical cues, these characteristics are one of the main ways to filter potential dates. Sure, height is a shallow preference, but it's no shallower than guys wanting girls to have decent size breasts or a slim waist. Short guys can still date despite not being the ideal, just as fat or flat-chested girls can date despite not being the ideal. I have to admit that I like a man to be taller when I'm wearing heels. I wear heels to feel feminine, and if I'm towering over a man I don't feel feminine at all, so I'm pretty much prevented from wearing heels if I date a shorter man. I'm around 5ft11 in heels, so I prefer a man to be 6ft plus. It's merely a preference though; I have met guys under 6ft and found them attractive, even been in love with them, but I wouldn't have picked them out of an online dating site - they were only attractive in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 The thing is though, even though I like big boobs on a woman, If I have an opportunity to date a smaller chested woman, I wouldn't put her out of the running like women who have a height requirement. It's like butts and boobs for guys rolled into one, which makes it crazy powerful. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 It's an unrealistic and obviously shallow expectation. I agree, but men have them, too. The ideal for men is tall, and the ideal for women is small. I'm somewhat tall, and plenty of men strongly prefer short women to tall. And let's not even get into men's preferences for breast size, hair color, and many other physical features. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I don't care for height, in fact I prefer men that are around mine (5'6'' - 5'8'') but I enjoy wearing heels because flatties all the time feel frumpy. I know how men feel about women towering over them so what should only be a matter of simple choice of shoes before a date quickly becomes an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Faded_x Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I hardly think it's shallow to want a taller man. I, personally, would not date a man my height or shorter. If this makes me superficial, then so be it; but I really don't think it does. No one should have to go out with someone they're not attracted to, and height plays an important part in attraction for some people. The heels part I can understand. I don't wear heels very often, but I would strongly prefer someone a fair bit taller than me to allow for when I do wear them. I can see how it would be really important to someone who wore them all the time, so I understand. Everyone's preferences, or requirements as you prefer it to be put, differ. I don't think anyone should have to apologise for what they want. It may suck because you'll be immediately dismissed from some women because of this; but that is the beauty of online dating. Everyone's "stats" are up for people to see, and women (in particular) can afford to be picky and dismiss those that don't fit their "requirements". Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) This just goes to prove that people are extremely picky in online dating. A woman who states her preference for men of a certain height might actually be attracted to a shorter guy if she met him in person and he was fun and charismatic. But in online dating it's all too easy to set arbitrary rules for people's height, weight, income, etc - in the absence of physical cues, these characteristics are one of the main ways to filter potential dates. That's why at 5'6 I don't bother with online dating at all. Online dating is nothing more than a woman looking at a man catalog. Sure, height is a shallow preference, but it's no shallower than guys wanting girls to have decent size breasts or a slim waist. Short guys can still date despite not being the ideal, just as fat or flat-chested girls can date despite not being the ideal. Have you ever seen an online profile where the guy says that he prefers woman that have a certain body type or to have breasts over a certain size? I hardly think it's shallow to want a taller man. It is as shallow as a man wanting only wanting thin women who have large breasts. It's exactly the same thing. But you know what, men are much more flexible on breast size then women are on height. BTW, I didn't mention weight for a reason. A woman can always lose weight. Men can never grow taller. It's very shallow to rule out somebody because of something they cannot change no matter how much they want to. What also really sucks is that men can't wear things to increase their height without earning the ire of society. Women can wear platform shoes, push-up bras and wraps to make them look thinner. Man can't do any of that. Edited March 2, 2011 by somedude81 Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 It's very shallow to rule out somebody because of something they cannot change no matter how much they want to. But what's the point in me dating someone if I'm not physically attracted to them? If someone is ugly, they can't change their face - so should I date them because their ugly face isn't their fault? If someone is deformed or disabled, they can't change that - so should I still date them even if I find them unattractive? I just don't see how the fact that someone can't change their appearance means I should date them despite finding them unattractive. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 But what's the point in me dating someone if I'm not physically attracted to them? If someone is ugly, they can't change their face - so should I date them because their ugly face isn't their fault? If someone is deformed or disabled, they can't change that - so should I still date them even if I find them unattractive? I just don't see how the fact that someone can't change their appearance means I should date them despite finding them unattractive. :lmao::love: I'm assuming we have to be sympathetic and show a little empathy. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I didn't say anything suggesting that you should date them. Facial attractiveness is in a separate category from things like breast size and height. Although, if somebody only dated people that had model quality facial attractiveness then that would be shallow. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I didn't say anything suggesting that you should date them. Facial attractiveness is in a separate category from things like breast size and height. . Actually last time I heard, they're equally the same. They're all capable of being surgically cut into, sewed and changed ( yes, there is even a surgery capable of making you taller). This is no different than entering a beauty constest or vying for a model contract. You either have the look or you don't for things to go in your favor. Online dating is not for everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
SunshineD Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I too am one of those, possibly shallow, women who prefer extra height. Not sure I can totally articulate, so I think there's something just inherently instinctual about it for me. For one I am 5'9" and wearing flats all the time is NO FUN AT ALL for tall girls like me. It's really a requirement. Like someone said earlier, having a taller man makes you feel more feminine--no easy task when you are 6'0" in heels. You also feel safe and protected with a taller man. I am dating someone now who, even in my four-inchers is still towering over me. I cannot describe my lust level over this. It's like height is an affirmative action plan for men...20 extra points just for this. I'm so sorry this is so shallow, but so glad I'm anonymous too. I also have put this--minus the heels part--in an online profile. I once had a guy outright lie about his height on his profile. He claimed to be 5'11" which I would be satisfied with. I wore flats on the first date and I was still a good inch or two taller than he. That really angered me. Why lie about it? If it's not your issue, then it's not your issue, but if a woman states it's a big deal to her, don't question it. Just respect it and move along if you don't meet her wishes. It probably is her loss, but there are far more people out there to meet than to get hung up on this one issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 In the dating world, there are so many physical and emotional characteristics that make a person more or less desirable. Singling out height, breast size, or weight exaggerates their importance. I think confidence goes a long way. I remember getting down to ideal weight and was this bitty thing and my dating life crashed and burned. I become too focused on my body as my currency in the dating world. I lost my confidence in my worth as a person. Men sensed that and didn't take me seriously. Then I put on 15 pounds and regained my confidence because I knew a man would like me for who I am, not because I'm a size 2. I think the confidence helped because I got snapped up by this wonderful guy. He had confidence and asked me out. He's 5' 6" by the way. Height doesn't make a difference when you are across a table or in bed looking in each other's eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I'm a girl that wears heals ALL the time, and yes, they are between 3 & 4 inches. And yes, I would GREATLY prefer that a guy be my height or taller than me when I'm in heals. Its' not just an accessory for me, if ALL the shoes, boots, sandals I wear are high. Height on a man is a preference. I don't think its shallow to want a taller guy. But If I met a guy that was great in pretty much all other aspects, yeah I would think it kinda sucks that he's not as tall as I'd like - but I would certainly give him a chance still. I wouldn't just chuck him because he failed to meet the height requirement (although height is pretty important)... Link to post Share on other sites
SteveC80 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 As a tall dude ive seen the power it has over women..Theres no physical trait as celebrated beause it works deeper then any other trait physically and physcologically.... Physically it just looks better being tall then short..Then u get to psychological..the protecion aspect women just feel safer with tall guys its beyond physical protection but its part of it.. Then u get to women just being shallow vain creatures..Looking small and dainty is more important then anything else to them.. Short guys can get women but getting a tall guy is what most girls dream about.. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 In the dating world, there are so many physical and emotional characteristics that make a person more or less desirable. Singling out height, breast size, or weight exaggerates their importance. Yeah, but singling out such attributes is the only way to filter people in online dating. You can't tell if someone is funny, or kind, or polite, or well dressed, or if they have a nice voice, or if they smell nice... you have to judge them on the basis of the attributes that can be written down or captured in a photo. If your best attributes have to be experienced in person then online dating is probably not the best approach for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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