Longtime crush?

[PelicanPete]

I've known this girl for a long time. We were close friends when we were young and as we aged and went through school grew apart due to different groups of friends. Although we were just friends, it was clear to everyone that we both liked each other, but I was too young to think about that. All through school I had feelings for her and wished I could be close to her again, but I was too afraid of being rejected or embarassing myself. I was lanky and awkward and accident prone with few friends, and she of course aged beautifully and was popular and was regarded one of the prettier girls in school. We only connected a few times as we got older, and we barely even talked but just the way we connected with eye contact it was different from anyone i've ever met. She changed schools for junior year and I haven't seen her since. After she left I made myself available and found a girlfriend. We dated for a few years but it didn't work out, but lately all I can think about is my long time crush.

 

I recently made a facebook around her birthday to reconnect with her, I wished her a happy birthday and told her I was thinking of her and wondering how she was doing. She replied and we ended up leaving a long message to each other a week, she was asking a lot about what I have been up to and where I am now. She lives an hour away and I don't have a cellphone so we just communicated through fb for a month or two just catching up and recalling the past. I wanted to move beyond facebook though, so I said in the last message that we should get together sometime soon, but if she didnt want to i would understand and it was great hearing from her anyway. Normally she would reply days apart, but she replied to this two hours later saying that would be great! the next time one of us were going to be in each others area we would leave a message. I am not too worried about this because she still has a lot of good friends and her family that still lives in my city. I decided if she doesn't message me in two or three weeks ill find a reason to be in her area.

 

What I found odd about her though creeping through her facebook pictures is that it looks like she has never had a boyfriend. I find this hard to believe, considering how popular and beautiful she was and still is. I was amazed to find her single to this date. All of her pictures are with her friends, even her prom pictures she went with her girlfriends. She lives with her sister and a friend of hers and just hangs around with them, sometimes going to concerts or clubs. She does have guy friends but they are people I know and they have never been with her. Im also scared that she has changed too much from how I used to know her, but I guess I will find out when we see each other. Incase I haven't mentioned, we are now both 20 years old.

 

What do you guys think of this situation? Any advice or opinions?

[Obie]

She may just be really shy. Looks don't mean everything. She could have just not found any guys she wanted to date either. Or, she may be a private person and didn't want that sort of information on facebook. I know a couple people who are like that.

 

I'm pretty young, only 16, so I don't know if she has a crush on you or not. It looks like she definitly cares for you though, so they only way to find out is to go meet with her.

[AirbenderAang]

You are going about this in a very reasonable manner. Keep up the good work! Also, stick to your 2-3 week deadline. The worst thing you can do is to not follow up now. I say go with 2 weeks because I see little point in letting too much time slip by.

 

Then once you meet her go with your instincts. It seems like you have pretty good instincts when it comes to this. Just know that you will want to let her know that you are interested romantically soon after meeting her. Don't develop this approach into a friendship. I think the best way to do this, is to bring up the D-word(date). Otherwise, do what you think is best.

[NoMagicBullet]

That's some good advice from Obie and AirbenderAang -- I advise you to take it.

 

I just want to add that you shouldn't assume that she's never had a boyfriend -- or assume anything -- from a lack of boyfriend photos on FB. Like Obie said, some people are private, and they choose carefully what they put on FB. Could also be that at one time she did have boyfriend photos up, but took them down when they broke up. May also be that she is dating someone, or even several people, but not seriously enough to post anything on FB. Whatever the reason, you won't know it unless you talk to her. (Best done in person.) Anyway, don't worry about what is or isn't on FB. Use FB to enhance your social life, not give you things to worry about that many not even exist.

 

This girl seems to like you, so I suggest that if you can arrange to be in her area before two weeks go by, then do it. Taking the initiative is sexy!