Does anyone else feel like they're going through a quarter life crisis?

[Sugarkane]

I wasn't sure which forum to put this under. I just feel stuck in general.

[miss_inedependent]

Yup, I definitely feel like I'm going through a quarter life crisis. I'm almost 25 and I thought I would be much further along in life than I am. I graduated from University but still work a few different part time jobs, I'm single, I live at home, I have a lot of debt, I'm trying to figure out which Master's program to apply to. I can't be independent even though I want to be...so frustrating!

[cerridwen]

My twenties were the hardest part of my life.

Now in my late 30s, it's all come together.

The initial flailing in my 20s was disconcerting;

the feeling of not knowing what I was doing or where I was going.

I believe I understand how you're feeling.

 

Expect struggling and uncertainty as you figure out who you are--and who you're not.

Expect trial-and-error.

We often believe the best route is linear. Not true!

Every person I know went through murky times when objectives weren't clear.

Read the biographies of some famous people, and discover how very different their early occupations were from their final destination.

 

One's 20s is a very good time for experimenting. Are there things you're considering?

[TouchedByViolet]

I know how you feel. I will be 24 in May and feel like the world is working against me. Still life can always get worse I guess. Better to be happy about the few things I got I guess.

[I Really Dont Know]

I went thru my 1/4 life already.. now I'm in the mid life.

 

 

Mid life is much worse. You should enjoy your quarter life.. it's more "fun".

 

It's more like being unsure of your future. Midlife is like, oh s**t, I AM in the future.

[HeavenOrHell]

It's different for everyone, I'm happier in my 40's than I was in my 20's. My 30th birthday was my most difficult one. 40th was much happier and better

 

 

I went thru my 1/4 life already.. now I'm in the mid life.

 

 

Mid life is much worse. You should enjoy your quarter life.. it's more "fun".

 

It's more like being unsure of your future. Midlife is like, oh s**t, I AM in the future.

[Kristie16]

I can totally relate! I'm 25 right now and feel soooo lost.

 

Since I was in high school I knew what I wanted to study in college and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I worked really hard in college to achieve that. Then, when I was about a junior, my industry began going south and it's been downhill from there. I've been able to find jobs since graduating 2.5 years ago, but they've been short-term, temp jobs that require I move all over, so I never set down long-term routes. The longest I was anyplace was about a year back in my hometown living at my parents house and freelancing.

 

I now have another temp job in my field. But every day there are layoffs. And it's a field where you have to go where the jobs are. You can't just move to a city and decide you want to find a job in this field. So I move where I can get a job in an industry where more and more people are fighting for fewer jobs. And until I can settle somewhere with a secure job, I'm never going to be able to meet a guy that could turn in to a husband. I'm in my current city for three months, but after this? Who knows? And say I do get a permanent job in a new city and move there, I could be laid off within months.

 

It's all really daunting. I just now started thinking about other careers, but I dont know anything else that I would feel as satisfied doing day in and day out. Plus, I do want to try to meet someone to get married, and the only way I'm going to do that is if I actually settle down for more than a few months at a time. It's all very hard and confusing. I never thought I'd be where I am today.

[Woggle]

I went through it in my 20s after my divorce. I had no clue what was next but it all worked out in the end. I am only 32 but I must say that so far my 30s are much better than my 20s.

[I Really Dont Know]

It's different for everyone, I'm happier in my 40's than I was in my 20's. My 30th birthday was my most difficult one. 40th was much happier and better

 

 

Yeah but 1/4 life usually doesn't involve death or weird smells.

 

I'd take the 1/4 anyday. What Job do I want? Who am I, really? Pshh.. kiddie stuff

[jean-luc sisko]

Even older people don't necessarily know what they want out of life. I think that quarter-life crisis is something that has validity behind it. It depends generally on one's life experiences and situation in life. Even mid-life crisis doesn't have to affect all people equally. Some don't even have mid-life crises.

[Tayla]

dang! I feel like I missed out on this supposed phase ! Drats! Welp all I can do is when I turn fifty I'll re-do and have two quarter life crisis! Yeah thats the ticket

 

Otherwise, I am clueless why even have a crisis....If one finds the good and deals with things level headedly, its rare that its a Life crisis, but rather a bleep on the radar that needs modified.

 

Maybe by the time its over the hill one has seen the landscape and realizes how beautiful it is.....

[vvjack]

Yup, I definitely feel like I'm going through a quarter life crisis. I'm almost 25 and I thought I would be much further along in life than I am. I graduated from University but still work a few different part time jobs, I'm single, I live at home, I have a lot of debt, I'm trying to figure out which Master's program to apply to. I can't be independent even though I want to be...so frustrating!

[Eve]

It's different for everyone, I'm happier in my 40's than I was in my 20's. My 30th birthday was my most difficult one. 40th was much happier and better

 

I turn 40 next year and I am really looking forward to it. My life sort of got into gear at 25.

 

I can understand young people now have it probably harder, what with the lack of jobs etc. Still not letting mine come back home though, lol. LS has taught me that much.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

[tigressA]

Yep, I'm going to be 24 in less than a month; I finished school and have been working but felt totally aimless for quite awhile. I realized recently that I'm one of those people who doesn't need or want a career/particular job to be happy in life. I feel, now, like there are so many other things that are so much more important than what you're doing for money, which can be here today and gone tomorrow. Since I came to that conclusion I've been much happier.

[proactivedreamer]

I can say for certain that I am experiencing a quarter life crisis! I am just unsure how to forge ahead these days. I feel so much angst and desire but not really certain as to what I want. I thought I knew but that was when I was in a relationship, and now that he walked away I just feel like I have to rebuild the future I had planned and start all over. I don't really know how or where to go, but I feel pulled to leave California and just be absolutely on my own. I think what is clouding my head is the fact that I am not over this guy and keep thinking that some how some way he might come back. We still talk but...anways, there are moments in the day where I feel good about my plans but then there are moments when I find myself still hanging on to my ex, and it just makes me feel so lost. I feel lost and this isn't a case of " I need a man to make things right in my life" it just that this break up severly jolted my reality, my plans, my hopes, my dreams. That relationships was a surprise and it was full of intensity, adventure, and the feeling of being absolutely alive.I think about going to counseling because I can't concentrate on anything lately.I don't feel present at all anymore...I literally live in my daydreams. I don't want to be this person. I don't want to be the person who only dreams...I want to live them but these days I just don't feel strong or sure of anything. It's like I have to learn to expect the unexpected and I didn't. I gambled a good 18 months of my life away. I am not a reckless person or anything, for the most part I have a good head on my shoulders but I just have no idea as to what I should be striving for. I thought I knew what made me happy but not sure if i know anything anymore. I feel like I am drowning...but I know I am the only one that can save myself. I need to be somebody...I don't know who that person is but I know she will be great and she will be loved. Thats all for now...

[Sugarkane]

I went thru my 1/4 life already.. now I'm in the mid life.

 

 

Mid life is much worse. You should enjoy your quarter life.. it's more "fun".

 

It's more like being unsure of your future. Midlife is like, oh s**t, I AM in the future.

So far it hasn't been so much "fun". I didn't want to be 24 and still living at home, unsure of what to do with my life. Working in a dead end job, everyday feels like groundhog day. While my cousins have settle down already and don't seem to have this problem.

[Thedude22]

I know I have no clue where to start at 22. I've been out of school 2.5 months and I hate it.

 

I went from being the department golden boy with a 3.98 gpa to being completely ignored by the job market, from being a popular/ good looking intellectual with tons of campus friends and smart lovely women to an unemployed slacker who only meets people at bars in unrewarding interactions and way below par females on the internet.

 

Life's a bitch, I should have stayed in school. The only thing I have going for me is the gilded escape hatch of law school and 40k of left over college money I never used. But hey at least everyone else is miserable too right? If that's supposed to make me feel better it doesn't

[missmac]

and got laid off (again) for the second time in 2 years on Thursday.

 

I moved to Toronto for a job that I got laid off from 8 months after, then found this last job almost immediately, from which I just got laid off from 1 year and 4 months later, this past Thursday.

 

I am completely independent and live on my own, all my family is back home in Vancouver, I dont have any relatives in Ontario. I find it frustrating and stressful to have to scrape by on small E.I payments for god knows how long until I am hired again. I am forced in to this survival situation, where I can only buy the things I absolutely need - there is no leeway for fun anymore - and it just puts me in a horrible mood.

 

I thought the worst of the recession was over - so losing my job came as quite a shock.

 

All that's happened has really discouraged me, Ive always been undecided about what I want to do with my life, so when I finally found a company I could see myself moving up in, and had it all taken away - I am feeling pretty indifferent about what job I plan to apply to next. I almost feel like I just dont care -because I dont know if my next one will work out either.

[josie54]

I know it might not help to hear that your 20's is the "best time of your lives, so enjoy it," but please do your best. Dance, be with friends, party, travel, do whatever it is you want to do in your free time, even if your job prospects aren't ideal.

 

I'm 41 years old, and I'm really depressed that I let my 20's go without really pursuing the things I wanted to do. Many of your friends are still available to you, you still have opportunities to let loose. In your 40s, most of your friends will be married with families, or dealing with parental issues, or overwhelmed with work issues, or all of the above. During that time, everyone's so busy that it's really difficult to find time to let loose and have fun.

 

Do the fun things now, you can avoid regret in your 40s and beyond. Because otherwise, the quarter-life crisis will simply transition into a mid-life crisis, and you'll pair your discontent with regret.

 

Sorry to be a downer. But I just read this post, and it struck me on a day when I'm really upset and incredibly sad about being in my 40's "already." And my regret is my own fault for not pursuing what I wanted in my 20's. Try your best not to make the same mistake.

[Nocturnal]

Yeah, I'm turning 28 and I want to relive my early 20s. I'm in a one-way street relationship, working a dead end job and I'm gaining weight. I see my friends every other month or week depending on life. I told my grandmother I would come visit her after christmas, I have yet to go and I didn't even realize 3 months passed until I thought about it. I'm in a rut. I want to be alone. I want to get drunk for no good reason and flirt with girls I don't know. Go away for a weekend somewhere without letting someone know what's happening every other hour. etc. etc. And through all this I know I only have myself to blame because I have the power and ability to do all these things, but I don't, because I'm tired. I'm drained.

 

I kind of feel like I need to take a step back in order to go forward. I am not really stressed about work, it's fine. I'm stressed about living in a relationship that eats me from the inside and I'm lacking the energy to do anything about it. It's actually amusingly pathetic.

 

My crisis, is that I'm missing out on my own life. I am living the life of some dude that is about to settle down and wear kaki's. I'm way too decadent for that, really.

[Sugarkane]

I'm 41 years old, and I'm really depressed that I let my 20's go without really pursuing the things I wanted to do. Many of your friends are still available to you, you still have opportunities to let loose. In your 40s, most of your friends will be married with families, or dealing with parental issues, or overwhelmed with work issues, or all of the above. During that time, everyone's so busy that it's really difficult to find time to let loose and have fun.

QUOTE]

It already feels like this now. My friends have either moved or are too rapped up in their partners. I've always wanted to go to Europe, but because of my current financial situation, probably won't be able too yet. So far I've had on going depression. Not much fun.

[josie54]

It already feels like this now. My friends have either moved or are too rapped up in their partners. I've always wanted to go to Europe, but because of my current financial situation, probably won't be able too yet. So far I've had on going depression. Not much fun.

 

Actually, your problem might not be so much a quarter-life crisis as it is the depression itself. If you could talk about it with someone (a professional), they might help you work through this time and be able to take some steps to enjoy your 20s more fully.

[AKollegeGuy]

Yeah, I'm almost done with my Graduate work and I have no idea what to do when I graduate.

[SpiralOut]

Yes, I feel this way also. I just turned 27 and I am actually happy with where I am right now and where I am going. After many years of indecision, I am finding my true path.

 

The hard part for me is looking back on the past few years and feeling as though I wasted them. I spent too much time pursuing an education/career and not enough time working on relationships, friendships, hobbies, or anything fun.

 

I know it is not too late to get what I want and I am still young. But still, I can't help mourning all that I have been missing out on. Everyone says your 20s are supposed to be the best years of your life, but for me so far my 20s have been very lonely. I feel as though I have wasted the precious years of my youth that I won't ever get back.

 

Oh yeah, plus I am in so much debt I'm not sure how long it will take me to finally start travelling and such. I look at people my age who have already done (or are doing) things I want to do and I feel so frustrated. I want to accomplish my goals before I turn 30 but that only gives me 3 years. I don't have as much time as I thought I did to make my dreams come true. I need to make them happen now!!

Edited May 5, 2011 by SpiralOut

[dollface07]

all i can say is wow i seriously thought i was the only one in this quarter life crisis. i wont catalog my litany of discontent because there really are things to be grateful for...my youth, beauty and health etc...but also because this quarter life crisis has left me exhausted and depleted that i simply dont have energy to even begin to articulate what havoc this quarter life crisis has caused there arent enough stimulants to perk me up coffee doesnt work anymore...let alone risk using what little energy i do have left to be introspective and discover/confront how insufferable my quality of life really is at this point.

 

quarter life crisis takes energy out of a person and it seems it also takes energy to get yourself out of this crisis...exercise does help but just as alcohol when you sober up or leave the gym the chronic quarter life uncertainty is still ever-present...i dont ever plan life in pen i use pencil and adjust accordingly but this uncertainty is starting to be almost comical and absurd. Honestly, all we can do is laugh at the whole absurdity of the quarter life situation. it's very real and it has seriously implications on our lives but isnt it just all so absurd?

 

yep young healthy (so im not ungrateful) but nevertheless jaded