jstobo Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 So I have this friend who I reacquainted with about a month ago. As soon as I found out she had a boyfriend, I backed off. Some schmuck went after my Wife and now we're divorcing, so I don't want to be the same type of guy. She e-mails me a couple weeks later something about her day and we start e-mailing again. After a few days of exchanges she says we should get coffee. She has been giving me advice since she went thru a divorce and I am now going through one myself. I replied saying coffee sounds great, but I don't want to upset her boyfriend. She said he would most likely be OK with it, but she would check. Apparently he is Ok with it, because she asked when we could meet. We haven't met yet, but we have been texting now over the last couple of days a lot. The texts have changed from divorce topics to get to know you topics. I'm starting to like this girl, but I do not want to break up a relationship. Thoughts, opinions, advice? Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Nothing wrong with getting a coffee. Although, if you think you're falling for this girl, I suggest you minimize the contact. Link to post Share on other sites
angie16 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 it sounds like you have feelings for her. If you know you may like her more that just friend's - then dont do it. Or if you feel that she has a crush on you and wants to be more than just friends - dont do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jstobo Posted March 3, 2011 Author Share Posted March 3, 2011 I am so bummed. I told her that I thought I was starting to like her and meeting would probably be risky. I cancelled coffee. She understood and said I was a great guy. I know that was the right thing to do, but darn!! Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorhurting Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I think you did the right thing Link to post Share on other sites
Author jstobo Posted March 4, 2011 Author Share Posted March 4, 2011 She texted me again this afternoon and we ended up texting for two hours. It was as if I hadn't told her what I told her. She now knows I clearly like her and she is still sharing her day and all kinds of other things with me. I must be fulfilling something her boyfriend isn't. Ugh!! Link to post Share on other sites
USCGAviator Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 When I was going through my divorce, I found comfort in the arms of another woman. Not that it's a bad thing, but she didn't have a SO. In your case this woman has a SO, and she knows your vulnerable. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
spackle Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 She texted me again this afternoon and we ended up texting for two hours. It was as if I hadn't told her what I told her. She now knows I clearly like her and she is still sharing her day and all kinds of other things with me. I must be fulfilling something her boyfriend isn't. Ugh!! I'm in a similar situation as you except we had slept together, I told him that I need to back off because chatting like this is bringing up other kinds of 'friendly' thoughts and that's not helpful to me. his response. nothing wrong with those kind of thoughts. then later I said I think people can be friends if they were before sex but that changes everything & then only if they're 100% indifferent to each other and that for me right now isn't the case. I then made a joke about these daily ramblings. him your ramblings get me through the day Him and her sound equally matched in terms looking for an ego stroke because I can't think why else they do it. Let's have them swap numbers Link to post Share on other sites
Author jstobo Posted March 4, 2011 Author Share Posted March 4, 2011 She stopped texting me around 6 last night because she was going out with her boyfriend. As soon as she left her BF (they have been dating 5 months) she texted me. We spent another hour texting. I feel bad I could be screwing up a good relationship for her, but I can't quit. I'm not going to text her today. I'll do my best to let this die, but I bet she texts me something and I'll get roped right back in. Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Just wonder if she does dump her bf for you (or gets dumped) how long it will be before she does the same to you? Link to post Share on other sites
USCGAviator Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 I wonder if the BF is gonna start a thread......My GF is texting some dude!! Link to post Share on other sites
spackle Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 I wonder if the BF is gonna start a thread......My GF is texting some dude!! if only she would sign up we could hear all sides of this Link to post Share on other sites
spackle Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 She stopped texting me around 6 last night because she was going out with her boyfriend. As soon as she left her BF (they have been dating 5 months) she texted me. We spent another hour texting. I feel bad I could be screwing up a good relationship for her, but I can't quit. I'm not going to text her today. I'll do my best to let this die, but I bet she texts me something and I'll get roped right back in. what sort of things do you text about? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Just wonder if she does dump her bf for you (or gets dumped) how long it will be before she does the same to you? I wonder if she will get what her BF gives her and what she gets out of him and be satisfied. Or should people stay BF and GF forever even if they aren't happy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jstobo Posted March 4, 2011 Author Share Posted March 4, 2011 what sort of things do you text about? A lot about our kids, I have two, she has two. A lot about our exes. We don't text much about her current relationship unless it fits the topic. She never says anything bad about her boyfriend. Get to know you stuff; what foods we like, music, things to do. No sexual topics or flirty comments. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jstobo Posted March 4, 2011 Author Share Posted March 4, 2011 I wonder if she will get what her BF gives her and what she gets out of him and be satisfied. Or should people stay BF and GF forever even if they aren't happy? I don't get the impression she is unhappy with with her current BF. I just wonder why she is willing to text me so much, especially now that she knows I like her. She has not texted me today though, so maybe the novelty has worn off. Link to post Share on other sites
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