Foxinsocks Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I love my bf but I haven't told him that. I know he loves me from what he has sent in messages but we don't refer to it. Pretty sure he knows I love him too. I would love to tell him how I feel but won't until I've sorted out my head/self esteem etc but I just wondered how other people had approached it. Given the distance between ourselves and our partners, did it take longer to tell them you loved them? Were you worried it wouldn't be returned? Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I love my bf but I haven't told him that. I know he loves me from what he has sent in messages but we don't refer to it. Pretty sure he knows I love him too. I would love to tell him how I feel but won't until I've sorted out my head/self esteem etc but I just wondered how other people had approached it. Given the distance between ourselves and our partners, did it take longer to tell them you loved them? Were you worried it wouldn't be returned? Fox, they say talk is cheap for a reason. He very well may love you, but be certain that his actions line up with his words. Actions tell the truth and words lie. He said it first in my RS but I already knew by his actions, how he felt Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 My boyfriend also said it first, but we both knew before the actual words were ever spoken. I say go for it whenever it feels right. Link to post Share on other sites
wild_urge Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Well. we weren't in a LDR when he said it. It was shocking to me because we have only been together for about a month and well, I'm not going to go in details, but he said right after we tried to have sex for the first time ( well, anyways, it wasn't first for him ), but it didn't really work out, so I keep thinking that maybe he didn't really mean it, he tells me he wouldn't have said it if he didn't think it. Anyways, at the time I wasn't much in love, I couldn't decide if I liked him or not, we didn't talk about it for a while and then may be two months later, we were out one night and he randomly asked me how I feel about him. My answer was "I think I love you", I really didn't know when I said it, but I didn't feel like disappointing him at that moment and I was pressured. . . anyways, the feeling came a bit later, when I did something stupid and he got really mad and started acting all distant and cold with me and I just realised that I could lose him and from then on, even if we had been together for about 3 months I have had the strongest feeling that I am just meant to be with him. Most of time I say I love him too often, what am I talking about, I say it all the time, I repeat it non-stop, but in my opinion, I'd better tell him that I love him now that I can, because I do and he can judge based on my action if I really do or don't, but I some people make the mistake to never say they love each other. . . and then they regret it. If you think that you really love him, I don't see why you shouldn't say it, if he loves you he'll say it back, it will make the distance seem shorter. Of course, actions matter more than words, but when two people love each other and act if they do I don't seem tha harm in telling you SO sometimes how much you appreciate him. I could go on forever, but you get my point Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 When I was in this situation I came out and asked... "Hey do you love me? Or In love with me?" he said "Which is which?" I said "Love me can be loving someone closely, In love means romantically" he said "They both mean the same thing to me but I do love you, in love and I'd never say the words if I didn't." So maybe just try asking? I was nervous about asking, but I did it anyway because I was tired of not being able to say "I love you" when I so wanted too. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 When you tell someone you love them, you're always worried it won't be returned. Unfortunately one of you has to take that risk and say it first. If you wait for him to be that one, you'll get increasingly frustrated, and you risk that he might also be waiting for you to say it. I generally find it's better to just say it, the at least it's out and you will both know where the other person stands - but you have to be prepared because the answer may not be what you want to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Foxinsocks Posted March 5, 2011 Author Share Posted March 5, 2011 I'm in no particular hurry to say it, I feel very content with this feeling and I feel when the time is right, it will come naturally. I do feel I'm holding on to something rather special and as cheesy as it sounds, I like having this feeling. we look at each other sometimes and I can't explain it very well, but we both 'know'. He is very shy and he knows I can scare easily so I think he is waiting for me to go first. I don't have a hang up about it, I don't constantly think 'i wish he would say it out loud' because actions do speak louder than words as some of you have said, and as far as thats concerned, our actions shout from the roof tops! Just wondered if the distance between people makes a difference as far as how quickly feelings develop or whether you feel there is a greater risk in saying 'I love you'. Link to post Share on other sites
TokyoG33kyGal Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 things developed rather quickly with my fiancé because we think we are really a good match. i used to be scared of the thought that i love a person more than he loves me but i realized that this is the same mistake i commit in my past relationships. after a month of meeting each other i began to feel that familiar feeling. i wanted to make sure though that it was really love and not fascination. i think he was more scared than i was. he said he wants to wait to see each other again in person before he can say it. i knew already that he does love me, he even admitted that he let that moment pass and now that we're away from each other he felt that he needed to wait to say it. a couple of days after that conversation, i just gave him a link to Alicia Keys' song (Unthinkable) and highlighted the following part of the lyrics: Why give up before we try Feel the lows before the highs Clip our wings before we fly away I can't say I came prepared I'm suspended in the air Won't you come be in the sky with me on our usual "game/date" weekend, we played on xbox live and chatted. he said those magic words. what made it so wonderful and memorable was, the first time he said he likes me and the first time he said he loves me, he said those words in my native tongue. but really i shouldn't focus on what he says alone cuz what this man has done for me speaks volumes. he does tell me though that i am his rock...though i think we are both doing a great job of supporting each other. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 things developed rather quickly with my fiancé because we think we are really a good match. i used to be scared of the thought that i love a person more than he loves me but i realized that this is the same mistake i commit in my past relationships. after a month of meeting each other i began to feel that familiar feeling. i wanted to make sure though that it was really love and not fascination. i think he was more scared than i was. he said he wants to wait to see each other again in person before he can say it. i knew already that he does love me, he even admitted that he let that moment pass and now that we're away from each other he felt that he needed to wait to say it. a couple of days after that conversation, i just gave him a link to Alicia Keys' song (Unthinkable) and highlighted the following part of the lyrics: on our usual "game/date" weekend, we played on xbox live and chatted. he said those magic words. what made it so wonderful and memorable was, the first time he said he likes me and the first time he said he loves me, he said those words in my native tongue. but really i shouldn't focus on what he says alone cuz what this man has done for me speaks volumes. he does tell me though that i am his rock...though i think we are both doing a great job of supporting each other. I like this story Link to post Share on other sites
Jennie1 Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 We had been talking for months. It was the third time we had a visit. I already knew he loved me and I knew I loved him. We were laying on the couch and he said it to me first. And of course I said right back and meant it. And hasn't stopped saying or txting since. We very often will txt same time I love you, randomly, and always feels like the first time, never a quick hang up love you kinda of thing. We have had some bumps a couple of weeks ago, but after talking and talking night after night. We are moving forward and never stopped loving him or wanting to be with him. The most important times for me, is when we are just in the middle of a conversasion. I could say something silly and he'll laugh and let me know how much he loves me. Link to post Share on other sites
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