MissVegas Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 I often wonder how I will feel when I find out my ex has a new girlfriend. At times I feel like it will give me a sense of closure and other times I feel like I'll pine over him even more and be even more upset. So in your experience how did you feel when your boyfriend or girlfriend had a new love in their life? Were you more hurt and upset and chase after them or did you feel a sense of relief and closure and not care? Also were you the dumper or the dumpee? Just wanted some people to share their thoughts! Link to post Share on other sites
willowthewisp Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 Well my ex of 20 years jilted me right after we booked our wedding, left me (we lived together 10 years and were engaged 8) and then he got a new GF in less than 10 months, moved her in and proposed and were thinking of getting married this Spring, so any day now? If it is true, which it may not be as I heard it from a "friend" whom I had fallen out with. How did I feel? Used, let down and hurt, very very hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenPolicy Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 I'm in complete NC. All I know is I have been replaced, I'm in the process of being replaced, or I will be replaced. That hurts. I certainly don't want to rub my nose in it by breaking NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 It depends who the boyfriend is. If I didn't love him, or if I dumped him, he could date someone else the very next day and I wouldn't care. The two boyfriends in my past that I really cared about were both in new relationships within a couple of months, and it stung - in fact I think they were both in new relationships before they even dumped me. The first one especially was heartbreaking. because our paths crossed most days; I was right there and he didn't want me. Both of them have been in and out of relationships since then, and the sting has mostly gone away, at least partly because I realized they're cheating losers and I'm better off without them. Link to post Share on other sites
ccfan Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 (edited) I often wonder how I will feel when I find out my ex has a new girlfriend. At times I feel like it will give me a sense of closure and other times I feel like I'll pine over him even more and be even more upset. So in your experience how did you feel when your boyfriend or girlfriend had a new love in their life? Were you more hurt and upset and chase after them or did you feel a sense of relief and closure and not care? Also were you the dumper or the dumpee? Just wanted some people to share their thoughts! Same here Vegas, i think that i´m 70% over my ex gf, i don´t think about her as i used to and in general i feel myself healing and healing as days go by... but ONLY if i stay full NC , the few times that someone mentions something about her it sets me back a couple of steps, so i´m not really strong as i think , but getting there hopefully soon. I know that -like you- my next test will be if i fall apart the day i get the news (or worse if i see her in a mall or someplace) or if i will roll with that punch, somedays i feel like i´m ready for the news of her being with another guy... others (like today actually) feel like i can´t handle that... I´m still in NC but i know that that news will find my ears really fast as it usually happens with bad news... One thing it´s for sure... ITS GOING TO HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER so we better be prepared for it.. It feels like when a friend or a family member (not as bad of course) has a terminal illness and you are just waiting for "that" day... again, noway in the same level, but extrangely similar. I also thinks that the Ego plays a big, even if we don´t want to admit it: if we see our ex with someone we perceive as a "downgrade", we´ll feel better and viceversa if we see them with someone pretier, with a better job etc.... No matter what we need to stay strong and remain NC at all times Edited March 5, 2011 by ccfan Link to post Share on other sites
marigo Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 I was the dumpee and my ex met his new gf now about 3 months after the break up. Funny actually. We were talking and hanging out everyday for 3 months after we broke up and then we had to leave for the summer. We had a talk about not contacting each other until i was ready coz it was hurting me to constantly be in contact with him. Few days after we left for the summer, he meets this girl. I guess they dated over the summer and made it official in August (5-6 months) after the break up. It killed me. I became more obsessed than ever watching every move they make. Constantly looking at their facebook and pictures, definitely a bad idea. But i was stubborn. I feel though that doing that and constantly torturing myself made me stronger in that now, whenever i do hear stuff about them from friends or whoever, im just numb. I dont feel anything anymore. I feel like the worst is over for me (unless of course he proposes to her which i know he wont do). After I found out, i knew i would be anxious to see the I love yous theyre gonna be giving each other, how theyre gonna celebrate events such as xmas, valentines day, and birthdays. Ive gone through each event and the only ones left is his bday and graduation. After gradauation though, i feel like im free. I feel like i can completely start over again. Not that i stopped my life for now until graduation but it just feels like after graduation, there's nothing left that im gonna be anxious about if you know what i mean. I guess i'll be free from te anxiety. I dont really get hurt by seeing him with her anymore. To be honest, now that i think about it, it does give me a sense of closure. I keep thinking now at least i can live a normal life. I wont constantly be worrying about things like "is he dating someone?" "what if he meets someone new""do we have a chance?" because I have answers for all of those now. It gives me a sense of relief that ive gotten past that stage and the worst is over. At least now i wont be worrying whether or not hes dating someone because i know that he is. And about checking his facebook profile, i got over it too. There's really nothing much left there that him and his new girl say to each other that i havent seen so I dont really care anymore at this point. Its been a year since the break up. Though it still hurts and makes me sad at times, i can truly say that im glad i have gotten past that stage that most of us fear which is seeing our ex with somebody new. So i know for you, it would hurt like crazy the first time you find out about it. Like me, you might become obsessed too. But in time, you'll also feel that seeing him with someone new takes away all the false hope that most of us tend to linger on. Oh and we were together for 2 years. Link to post Share on other sites
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