Jannah Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 A month or so ago, I went with my male cousin to watch a friend of his who is in a band. Well, there were a group of people from my cousin's workplace who were mutual friends with the band member as well, and one of my cousin's co-workers had brought along a male friend. When the male friend walked in, we exchanged friendly glances, but that was it. A couple weeks later, same scenario, except he came over to where I was sitting and we ended up talking the entire night. He told me the reason he came over, was because I did not look like the type of person to be at the place we were at (it was a town pub hole in the wall type of establishment) and he was laughing because he said when he walked through the door, all of the "older ladies made googley eyes at him" and he felt like he was a piece of cougar meat. We ended up having a very nice conversation for the entire night, and we basically spoke about our lives, what we do for a living and then we started talking about dating/relationships. He was married for 7 years, but they divorced about three years ago, he dated someone a year after his divorce but they broke up, and I could tell, he was still emotionally attached to her (the one he dated) because he talked about her a lot and he showed me a picture of her on his phone. Now, I've been down that road before, and it's not a road I want to approach on again. At the end of the night, he asked for my phone number, but I politely declined and said that I didn't think it was a good idea given the circumstances (i.e. his ex). So, we gave each other a hug and I kissed him on his cheek and left. So about a month has passed, and out of no where, I receive an email from his friend (who works with my cousin, I had given my resume to him and I guess he passed it on to her) and she wants me to come into her office for an interview. It's like, the doors are opening! We're also supposed to all be getting together in another month or so for a similar event, which he will be at. I don't want to get giddy to soon, but I like what I see so far. He's got the relationship experience, has a great job, lives about 25 minutes from me, very polite, good looking, in great shape (I squeezed his arm when we were talking and I could tell he was nice and firm ) and he is two years younger than me. Okay, so back to my question. Is it better in some cases, to start a relationship this way? Where, you are platonic friends first, and things start to happen where you are placed in close proximity as if it was fate's calling? Yes, I am a romantic deep down aside. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 Sorry, I read your post a couple of times and I missed the part on how this guy is your platonic friend. How is it a "friends first" scenario? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jannah Posted March 5, 2011 Author Share Posted March 5, 2011 Sorry, I read your post a couple of times and I missed the part on how this guy is your platonic friend. How is it a "friends first" scenario? I guess, because given the circumstances (his recent ex), I prefer we hang out as friends right now. Granted, we've only hung out once, but we ended up talking for several hours that night. My cousin is already trying to intervene in getting the ball rolling , which I asked him not to do, I told him it doesn't sound like he is over his ex and I don't want to start dating someone going into that, but that I would be open to it down the road. My cousin's co-worker (who is friends with "him") was also intervening because she kept coming up to us the night we were talking and kept saying **cutesie* things when referring to us. Who knows where either of us will be the next time we see each other (which is coming up within the next month), it's just been on my mind as of late, I guess . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jannah Posted March 5, 2011 Author Share Posted March 5, 2011 Also if people can start a relationship via internet, you sure as heck can do one the way you are talking about. I mean, we al start as friends on here right? Good point. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 I guess, because given the circumstances (his recent ex), I prefer we hang out as friends right now. Granted, we've only hung out once, but we ended up talking for several hours that night. Ah, so you're not even friends yet. Since it sounds like you are open to dating him, you most likely won't do the friends first thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Dazdnconfuzed Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 Stop treading on water and give it a whirl. It is obvious you like him or else it wouldnt of turned into a forum post. You can explore the friendship while having expectations at the same time on both sides. You go out alone, laugh and enjoy your night and if there is a spark, light a stick of dynamite with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 What your talking about is hoping that bieng friends first will unattach him from his ex so you dont have to be a rebound.... Teasing him by waving it in his face saying "you cant have this yet" is not friends first. So no, you dont want to start out this way, unless you want to take the chance that hanging around him will not help him forget about his ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jannah Posted March 6, 2011 Author Share Posted March 6, 2011 Ah, so you're not even friends yet. Since it sounds like you are open to dating him, you most likely won't do the friends first thing. Well I guess more like mutual acquaintances. And yes, I WILL do the friends thing FIRST based on what I know about his current status with regard to his recent ex. Stop treading on water and give it a whirl. It is obvious you like him or else it wouldnt of turned into a forum post. You can explore the friendship while having expectations at the same time on both sides. You go out alone, laugh and enjoy your night and if there is a spark, light a stick of dynamite with it. You're right, and that is what I am leaning towards (exploring a friendship first but with reasonable expectations). What your talking about is hoping that bieng friends first will unattach him from his ex so you dont have to be a rebound.... Teasing him by waving it in his face saying "you cant have this yet" is not friends first. So no, you dont want to start out this way, unless you want to take the chance that hanging around him will not help him forget about his ex. Not really....He needs to un-attach himself from his ex. I am simply not willing to knowingly throw myself into a rebound situation, that's why I felt giving him my telephone number that night would not have been a wise decision. And, I was straightforward with him when I told him that. So, that is how it was left. I am not pursuing anything at this point, and neither is he. IF we both end up at the same event a month from now, we'll just hang out and let things unfold. Who knows, he may be back together with his ex and then we'll really truly only be just friends. :laugh: As far as I know though, his ex moved to another state so hopefully that won't turn out to be the case. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts