starlitej83 Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 On this past New Years Eve, I met this guy through a mutual friend, we had talked a lot online before we met, since my friend and I were going to be spending new years with him, so we had a general idea of the kind person each other were. The night we met, both of us were rather drunk and we ended up fooling around. (something that I don't do often) After the fact, he quickly started to develop strong feelings for me, they were too strong, and It made me not attracted to him because of it. I told him that I wanted to just be friends and take it slowly, he didn't take to it well and still pushed for more than a friendship, and I hated to hurt him or lose him because I thought more would develop if we just took it easy, but we got into an agruement and I got fed up with him and told him bluntly that I didn't like him, nothing would happen... I hurt him a lot, and we stopped talking for a couple weeks. We randomly started talking again, and he told me that he still had some feelings for me, and that I was the only girl who got his guard down so fast, and I was the only girl that still mattered weeks after I was gone. (during the time we stopped talking) and I wasn't sure how to take it at the time, but I tolerated it a little more because I time had passed since we had our agrument, and because i felt horrible for hurting his feelings like I did, and I really did want to continue with a friendship. We hung out again for the first time since we decided to stop talking, and we ended up fooling around again, and it happened a couple of different times. One time things got rather heavy and I ended up developing feelings for him. I think the feelings came because he wasn't trying so hard to be with me, he wasn't so uptight and nervous, I finally was seeing who he really was in a relaxed situation and I liked who he was. When I told him how I felt, that I was starting to develop more feelings for him, he assumed I was wanting to become his girlfriend then and there (which I wasn't, but I just wanted us to be exclusive) We talked a lot about this and he has admitted to me that his feelings for me have never completely gone away and that every time we're together, he feels something, but his feelings aren't enough to want to be together, and he's not sure that they will be, but he has told me things like "I like you more than most of the girls I have dated" because we are very close friends aside from the fact that we fool around when we are together. We talk to each other all the time about anything and everything and we both have supported each other when times get rough, so he is someone who is very important to me and losing him would be like losing someone i have feelings for and one of my best friends. However, when we are together, it's nearly impossible for him to resist holding me and kissing me. He told me "It feels wrong when I'm not holding you" And I have never initiated anything... he always is the first one to make the moves. He also happens to be a virgin, and I respect that, so the sex in this beneficial friendship hasn't been a factor, but oral has, and to me giving and receiving oral sex is a bigger more intimate deal than sex itself. We have recently talked about sex, he told me that he has wanted to have sex with me before and he has thought of asking twice, but he wasn't sure what I wanted and he said that he wasn't sure that he wanted me to be the one he lost his virginity to, and I want him to have sex when he's ready and he wants to. I do have feelings for this person, they are not enough to want to be in a committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationship right yet, but I know that they will only grow from here and It's very possible I will want to be dating him. He sends me so many mixed signals, and I don't know what to do about them, I realize that he's confused about everything... but It's driving me crazy. What could or should I do to try to do and clear up this situation for both us? How do you perceive this situation, what do you think he's thinking? If we do sleep together, how do you think it would affect him? **I know this post is long and a little confusing, but I really would appreciate any advice anyone can give!!!** Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 when there is doubt, there is trouble in the future. Have you been hurt by past boyfriends? Why can't you grasp what your true feelings are for this guy? Apparently you must be rather fond of him if you are willing to suck his d*ick. There has got to be reasons why you don't want to get serious, other than "he's coming on too strong". Link to post Share on other sites
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