Social skills and getting women.

[Eddie Edirol]

Women aren't sexually attracted to me, so there's nothing I can do about it. Except to just enjoy porn for the rest of my life.

 

have you ever put as much effort into researching the dating dynamics and psychology of women as you have put into porn?

[Ross PK]

have you ever put as much effort into researching the dating dynamics and psychology of women as you have put into porn?

 

Not really. I've still studied quite a bit of it though.

[Mikau]

Oh wow, thank you LoveShack. I've so far been unsuccesful getting women to like me as more than a friend and I was about ready to give up hope but seeing you bunch of cynical people here makes me want to improve myself so I can make it work.

 

Thank you, cynical people.

[Ross PK]

Oh wow, thank you LoveShack. I've so far been unsuccesful getting women to like me as more than a friend and I was about ready to give up hope but seeing you bunch of cynical people here makes me want to improve myself so I can make it work.

 

Thank you, cynical people.

 

No problem.

[MexicanBillBacker]

No problem.

 

 

What makes you undesirable?

 

Are you fat? Ugly?

 

What?

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

What makes you undesirable?

 

Are you fat? Ugly?

 

What?

 

He's actually neither.

 

I don't know Ross PK very well. I knew him from the incel forum, but briefly. But from what I understand, his low self esteem is what has lead him to a life of solitude.

 

I can relate to this, although I am probably fat and most likely not all that attractive, either. And I'm 7 years younger than him, and in the same boat. But I frankly don't see the point in giving up; what will be will be.

[Mikau]

He's actually neither.

 

I don't know Ross PK very well. I knew him from the incel forum, but briefly. But from what I understand, his low self esteem is what has lead him to a life of solitude.

 

I can relate to this, although I am probably fat and most likely not all that attractive, either. And I'm 7 years younger than him, and in the same boat. But I frankly don't see the point in giving up; what will be will be.

This exactly. I'm rather fat myself and I'm not that confident in myself, but rather than giving up and being cynical I decided to do something about it. I started losing weight and excercising and I must say it's really helping. As I lose weight my confidence rises, it's awesome.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I am fat myself, but that isn't why I'm single. I carry it well.

 

However, I am worried about my health, which is why I try to stay away from all the bad stuff (cookies, pie, ice cream, chips, soda, fast food) that I know is my vice.

 

I have a membership to the YMCA. Now I just gotta get motivated to go!

[orangelady]

Hi Ross PK,

 

Just a fair warning in the title if you decide to read on but I think you need to hear it.....

 

Judging by your email sig and redundant posts I'm thinking your lack of female sexual interaction is not from poor social skills, coolness factor, sex appeal, etc ...no. It's actually much more important and in general than those.

 

You first need to find a pair of 'balls.' Once you've found a pair, you can display confidence a lot wasier which will also allow women to be drawn to this attitude ...and even find it sexy. Be a MAN. If you've never known how, get a personal trainer from your local gym to push you beyond what you thought you limits are. That'll be a good start.

 

Being a man isn't about being in touch with your feelings or sensitive side. It's not abotu complaining and whinning. It's about stepping up, doing what you say you're going to do, sacrificing, being proud and confident, tough, trusing and allowing a woman to feel safe with you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not dismissing feelings as unimportant, just saying that's not whats going to get you a lady easy.

 

Your choice. Or, you can be a sensitive dude that women call on to complain about their boyfriend to.

 

Sorry for the tough love but find a pair and live life the way YOU want the story to be told.

 

Good luck,

 

Explorer

 

Well, I do appreciate a sensitive lad at times. I don't want someone who has the 'balls' only.

 

A woman doesn't feel safe with a man who has balls but a man with a kind heart. And that doesn't come from confidence alone.

[Ross PK]

What makes you undesirable?

 

Are you fat? Ugly?

 

What?

 

I'm not fat, and at the very least I'm not really ugly.

 

I don't know what it is that makes me undesirable, I really wish I knew. I was just born different from other people.

[orangelady]

He's actually neither.

 

I don't know Ross PK very well. I knew him from the incel forum, but briefly. But from what I understand, his low self esteem is what has lead him to a life of solitude.

 

I can relate to this, although I am probably fat and most likely not all that attractive, either. And I'm 7 years younger than him, and in the same boat. But I frankly don't see the point in giving up; what will be will be.

 

I don't know Ross PK much too. I know he doesn't react to rude posts about him by others and that's great. Also, I think he tries to deny his feelings on some days so it can be very confusing for us. I think I saw some pics of him and he is nothing from hideous or ugly or anything like that. He is way too hard on himself.

[Ross PK]

He's actually neither.

 

I don't know Ross PK very well. I knew him from the incel forum, but briefly. But from what I understand, his low self esteem is what has lead him to a life of solitude.

 

I can relate to this, although I am probably fat and most likely not all that attractive, either. And I'm 7 years younger than him, and in the same boat. But I frankly don't see the point in giving up; what will be will be.

 

Hi LITM. What was your username on the Incel forum?

[Mikau]

I'm not fat, and at the very least I'm not really ugly.

 

I don't know what it is that makes me undesirable, I really wish I knew. I was just born different from other people.

What makes you undesirable is you thinking you're undesirable.

[Ross PK]

What makes you undesirable is you thinking you're undesirable.

 

I've lost count of how many times people tell me this.

 

It's the other way around. I never used to feel undesirable, yet I was still never wanted. So, after all those years, I became to feel undesirable.

[Buddha]

This thread, without doubt, contains some of the most destructive advice I've ever seen on the shack, and it has left me shaking my head in disbelief about the lies people are telling themselves in order to try to cover up the cracks in their own lives.

 

Ross, you really are your own worst enemy. You don't love yourself, that much is sadly obvious, and if YOU don't, why should a prospective girlfriend be interested in spending time with you?

 

My advice has nothing to do with getting you laid or directing you towards overweight women - indeed the advice on here that says that is from men who don't genuinely like women at all, to treat them in such an appalling way. But here is my advice to do with what you will.

 

STOP doing what you're doing. It's not working for you, whatever it is. You are unhappy, you don't have what you want and you can't see a way out. How long are you going to carry on, therefore, doing the same old thing and getting the same frustration results?

 

If you want different results, you have to try doing something different. So what are you prepared to do? I'm not talking about paying a prostitute to have sex with you, as someone suggested, or resigning yourself to a life of masturbation to bad porn. Of all the things I can assure you, let me assure you now that these things are not going to increase your chances ONE IOTA of getting what you ultimately want, nor will they improve your relationship with, or your feelings about, women. No man who ever paid for sex because he couldn't relate to women ever increased his attractiveness through the act.

 

You don't understand women at all, right now. That's okay -- only blow up companions come with instruction guides. It's normal that if you've not had much experience with women, you will think you won't know what you're doing.

 

But all humans (and women are human) want some basics covering when getting a partner. They want someone to talk to, to laugh with, to go places with, to share their fears with, to relax with, to trust. They want to be respected, listened to, loved.

 

Do you notice how little on this list is about sexual attraction?

 

Sure, if you are a very immature or inadequate person you can probably go to a bar and pick up a fat girl and play on her insecurities long enough to hide your own in one night of drunken sex. And it won't solve your problems, or get you one step closer to where you actually want to be.

 

If you want to grow into someone who can form a real relationship with a woman, start by working on yourself. Find something about yourself you like. Just one thing, and work on realizing that you are a person with something to offer. Until you can do this, until you can take one step towards loving yourself in a way that has nothing to do with masturbation, women will sense from a mile away that you don't have what they're looking for.

 

I'm not talking about confidence, because we're not even close to that yet. I'm talking about the slow realization that you ARE someone with something to offer a girl. No matter what you've got, there is a girl somewhere who will be into it, I assure you. Shy is not a problem for many girls. It's who you are as a person that will ultimately get you a girlfriend. Work on that. Find that one thing you like about yourself, and when you really know you've got it, find another thing.

 

In time, you will have grown to the point where you can say with truth that you have something to offer. You probably have it right now, but until you really know it in your heart, mind and soul, it might as well not be there.

 

While you're sincerely working on this, when THIS is your focus, a girl will come along at some point in the process and you will talk to her and she will talk back and you will suddenly find that you are not the person you were when you read this post.

 

That will be a great day... and the girl you meet might just think so too.

[somedude81]

But all humans (and women are human) want some basics covering when getting a partner. They want someone to talk to, to laugh with, to go places with, to share their fears with, to relax with, to trust. They want to be respected, listened to, loved.

 

Do you notice how little on this list is about sexual attraction?

Without sexual attraction, all you get is a new friend.

 

Until you can do this, until you can take one step towards loving yourself in a way that has nothing to do with masturbation, women will sense from a mile away that you don't have what they're looking for.

Sorry, but that sounds like a load of new age mumbo jumbo.

 

I know your post was not directed at me, but I'm in pretty much the same situation that Ross is in.

 

Loving yourself cannot be the key to getting women because there are men out there who are in relationships and severely depressed.

 

Also a big reason why the men who post on this forum are depressed is because women don't and haven't loved them. A man who eats till he is full, is no longer hungry.

[orangelady]

Look, if Danny De Vito can get married and have children, so can you. Your worst enemy is yourself.

 

He is a celebrity. Ross isn't.

[ABRAXYEXCAREE]

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[Ross MwcFan]

Post deleted.

Edited April 11, 2011 by Ross MwcFan

[Buddha]

Loving yourself cannot be the key to getting women because there are men out there who are in relationships and severely depressed.

 

Also a big reason why the men who post on this forum are depressed is because women don't and haven't loved them.

 

Maybe the men are severely depressed because they are in the wrong relationships or have controlling, unhappy partners. If this is the path you wish to follow, don't let me stop you.

 

You are, of course, free to discard my advice and continue doing what you are doing.

 

However, I am in a brilliant relationship. I am happy and have no needs that remain unfulfilled. I therefore have experience you don't have, because I know what it took to get there.

 

Everyone will not find love the way I did it, but I got myself happy, I loved myself, and the right person came into my life. When they did, I was ready for love. If you want to go another way, that's okay. I hope your way leads to everything you wish for.

[Ross PK]

If you want different results, you have to try doing something different. So what are you prepared to do? I'm not talking about paying a prostitute to have sex with you, as someone suggested, or resigning yourself to a life of masturbation to bad porn. Of all the things I can assure you, let me assure you now that these things are not going to increase your chances ONE IOTA of getting what you ultimately want, nor will they improve your relationship with, or your feelings about, women.

 

But porn is still enjoyable, and without it, if you can't get a woman, you feel a lot more miserable and sexually frustrated.

 

But all humans (and women are human) want some basics covering when getting a partner. They want someone to talk to, to laugh with, to go places with, to share their fears with, to relax with, to trust. They want to be respected, listened to, loved.

 

Do you notice how little on this list is about sexual attraction?

 

Well, it depends. What you're saying can actually be about sexual attraction, for a woman.

 

Sure, if you are a very immature or inadequate person you can probably go to a bar and pick up a fat girl and play on her insecurities long enough to hide your own in one night of drunken sex. And it won't solve your problems, or get you one step closer to where you actually want to be.?

 

Of course it would do, I'm not just interested in some meaningful relationship. Just having a ONS, experiencing a girl being attracted to me, knowing that I can get a girl, having a casual girlfriend, giving and recieving physical touch with a girl. etc, would be unbelievably awsome. If I could achieve any of these things it'd get me to where I want to be, big time.

 

In fact I'd rather experience those things first before diving headfirst into a serious relationship, when I've not even so much as kissed a girl yet. Not that I'm saying I'd mind having a relationship first.

 

If you want to grow into someone who can form a real relationship with a woman, start by working on yourself. Find something about yourself you like. Just one thing, and work on realizing that you are a person with something to offer. Until you can do this, until you can take one step towards loving yourself in a way that has nothing to do with masturbation, women will sense from a mile away that you don't have what they're looking for.

 

I'm not talking about confidence, because we're not even close to that yet. I'm talking about the slow realization that you ARE someone with something to offer a girl. No matter what you've got, there is a girl somewhere who will be into it, I assure you. Shy is not a problem for many girls. It's who you are as a person that will ultimately get you a girlfriend. Work on that. Find that one thing you like about yourself, and when you really know you've got it, find another thing.

 

What is 'loving yourself'? I'm not sure if I do since I don't know exactly what it means or what it's supposed to feel like, but there are things I already like about myself.

[BeginAgain]

He is a celebrity. Ross isn't.

But Danny Devito could only get Rhea Perlman. You are acting like he married a super model.