tom_gbr Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 im having one of them days that you have when you feel like absolute sh*t. Over the last couple of days I have felt a little better but i couldnt sleep last night and this morning i felt so terrible. Was in a very bad mood and really didnt wanna get out of bed. Its been a week since i last saw my ex girlfriend and three weeks since we broke up. I dont know how im gonna cope without her. I wanna phone her wednesday to see how she is but i know it shouldnt as it would probably mean me going right back to where i started. Its really bad i also wanna phone her because she is going out thursday night and somewhere inside me im thinking that if i have a great concersation the night before that she will be missing me and that she wont get up to anything. I dont know why i want to do this though as she is bound to fancy someone soon and get with someone. I suppose im trying to delay it as much as possible. The thought of some guy kissing and touching my ex girlfriend is driving me crazy, and her enjoying it too hurts so much. I suppose i also wanna phone her and act really upbeat and sound like ive been having a great time recentley to show her that im moving on. Ive been told thats a good idea. I feel so empty without her in my life. She is all i think about and changed my life so much for her. Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 I am also having a very bad morning. I didnt go to work. I dreamed about him every night this past week. The last time I saw my boyfriend was Feb 3rd. Last I spoke to him was March 17th. He wasnt very reponsive. I hate sunny days more than anything, because we always spent them together and I cant imagine never doing that again with him. I want to cut myself off from the world and be in the dark. How can he not miss me? Everyone is saying he probably is... But why is he doing this to me? 8 years out of our lives!!!! 8 years!!! You dont just cut off feelings after 8 years of being together and with no closure. I am sooo hurt he would do this. Its not like him at all. I worry about him every day. I know how you feel...you keep holding off to call and hope that they will miss us. Ive contacted my boyfriend several times since Feb 3 when he wanted space. So...now I am giving it to him. I hope he misses me so bad, because I have been so damn good to him. He knows it too. I just hope he can at least contact me to talk sooner or later. Hang in there, Tom. Im right there with ya. Link to post Share on other sites
tom_gbr Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 i know what you mean...i keep thinking why isnt she texting me all the time asking how i am....i did so much for her...i took her to paris for valentines day...spent christmas with her...i cant understand why she isnt thinking about me and wanting to contact me. It really helps i think to write everything down like this around other people who have been where you are. I know ill eventually move on but its so hard to tottaly let her go. I know i can make her happy and that we can have many more great times. But i have to remember that she is 16 and at that age who is looking for a long term relationship? I think its the hardest thing to hear that someone loves you loads but they cant be with you because of whats happening within there life. that sucks Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 At least she told you she loves you... My boyfriend told me that over the years....but with all of this..I really got no closure. Just that I dont let him do anything without questioning him. He wanted space to cool down. Well, the space now turned into almost 2 months. I am 31, he is 30. He is my fiance. He never told me it was over. Maybe if he actually sat down and talked to me about things, like the adults we are...I could be handling this a little better. I just miss him more than anything in the world. My other half is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
tom_gbr Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 yes it was nice that she said that she loved me, but that was the night she finished it with me on the phone. after a week of me ringing and texting her basically begging for her back her feelings soon changed. she told me this last wednesday when i saw her for the first time since we broke up. that made everything so much worse as there could of been a chance that i could of got her back. just a moment a go i called the doctors, going to try and see a counsellor as i need to sort this all out. I want to feel happy and get on with things as its effecting my university work and i havent earned any money in a month. Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 Thats good that you are going to see a counselor.. I am seeing a therapist. I go every 2 weeks and it helps out alot. Are you in England? I live Pennsylvania. Im not happy either with anything. I just want him back. But I have to take things one day at a time. One hour at a time, really. Hang in... Link to post Share on other sites
xxxangelxxx Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 oh boy do i know how you guys feel . . . although its not officially broken up i think were dam close . . . i feel like i have no one to talk to and no hope . . . it never fails . . . i have done everything i could and still its not enough . . . and people say give it time . . . but that just makes me feel worse . . . i find myself sitting in pain and agony . . . i can’t help but wonder what i did that was so bad to deserve this . . . my heart beating a mile a minute and me feeling further and further away . . . i can’t eat or sleep and i feel like i’m going nuts . . . Link to post Share on other sites
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