sinkerswim Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 I dont mean to be so dark and grim... But normally, when I am myself and with my boyfriend... I LOVE sunny beautiful days. But now...I am without him and I dread them more than anything. With this depression I am in...I hate sun. I want to live in the dark...as bad as that sounds. Sunny days remind me of him...because I always used to watch him play softball/baseball every summer and fall for 8 years. Right now, I cant even imagine never going again. God...it just kills me. I hate this weather. I am dreading the summertime and especially the fall. The fall was our special time...the time that we met. Anyone else hate sunshine right now? Its gives me a heavy feeling in my chest and a lump in my throat. It reminds me so much of my boyfriend, and I want to cry. I am aching for him. the pain of missing him is getting unbearable. Link to post Share on other sites
Sundaymorning Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 You might need therapy. Sunny days are only liked by you when someone else is around....hmmm....Are you going to let that one single person determine how you feel? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 I know what you mean. Let yourself grieve and try separating the day itself from the way you used to spend it with him. Find something else about the day that you like. Before you met him what did you do on sunny days? Make some new positive experiences for those days and don't think so far ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sinkerswim Posted March 30, 2004 Author Share Posted March 30, 2004 Well, I am in therapy. lol But this nicer weather is really bothering me. Because then I wonder what he is doing and if he is enjoying it without me. It makes me so sad. Its very bothersome. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Hi- I read your tale in my thread about obsessive thinking...and how your engagement ended. I felt so much for you, especially as I am overcoming OCD and know the strain it can cause. You seemed to hope he may come back now you are in therapy? I gather that is not happening. Hokey is right, find new ways to make the sunny days happy days for you. New experiences to have this summer. Your life can be good again, without him in it. Grieve and give yourself a chance to heal and move on. I know it must feel so hard right now. But the strength is in you. Find yourself again...the person you can be as an individual enjoying those sunny days. Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I know what you mean...I think of those beautiful sunny days that I spent with my ex. But then again I also think about those rainy days I cuddled with her. Haha I guess im screwed...Too bad we don't have tornados or snow in southern cali...That way my mind could slip for a minute. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I got dumped (so to speak) by someone in the Army. I got back on track by dating half the sailors in the 14th Fleet in the Navy. HAHA! I was kidding (not really)....but I DO think it's important once you are feeling better to go out and meet guys/girls who DO enjoy doing the same thing you and your ex once enjoyed. Not as a 'replacement'. but as an eye opener than your ex isn't the only person in the world you can share those things with. Sink.....you wait till a game is coming up....put yourself on some sexy shorts....and GO! I wouldn't go where HE is....but there are others. Don't let your past rob you of what you enjoy in the future. Does that make sense???? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Romance aside, I hate them, I like the cold--I love the feeling of chills, the smell of the air after it's rained, the sight of the sun obscured by dark clouds--to me, liking the sun is social conformity. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker -to me, liking the sun is social conformity. Oh please. Liking the sun is normal....and has nothing to do with social confirmity dyer...but if liking the clouds makes you feel like an individual, well...go for it. P.S. sinkerswim...I think Arabess has some good ideas too Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 No, I mean I believe that the value we place on sunshine as "beautiful" weather is a product of society, since clearly there are people who don't prefer it. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyangel Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker No, I mean I believe that the value we place on sunshine as "beautiful" weather is a product of society, since clearly there are people who don't prefer it. But Dyer, there are confirmed health benefits of sunshine! http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/living/6135736.htm Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Originally posted by ladyangel But Dyer, there are confirmed health benefits of sunshine! http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/living/6135736.htm And bad crap too! http://www.skincancer.org/ Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 i dislike sunny days too. i feel too pressured into perkiness by them. they remind me of teletubbies and overly innocent and perky red cross camps and 'camperoos.' (campiness, btw & imo, is about articulating hostility towards things we are supposed to find superhappyfuntimegood.) in vancouver, we had many, many, gray days - living there was like living in a hipper, cooler, moor- all the aesthetics and none of the cheese. i loved it, i miss it; i would give anything for 40 days without direct sunshine again. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 superhappyfuntimegood Is that newspeak? Link to post Share on other sites
tom_gbr Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 yeah i hate sunny days too....i woke up this morning and looked out the window and im noew feeling sooooo down. i first met my girlfriend on holiday in the summer and we had the most amazing couple of months where we used to go out for walks and stuff to the river and just cruise around in my car going wherever we wanted. I now see sunny days and know that im never going to have them memories for real again...i just want this pain to go away. Link to post Share on other sites
Shakey2523 Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I know just how you feel. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me last month. For awhile it felt like the only comfort I got was reading the posts on this forum. Now springtime is here, and we've had a few beautiful days. I hate them. I think of him out on his motorcycle, speeding down country roads, with someone else's arms around him. Total pain. Since I cannot stop summer from coming, I am considering getting my own bike. Won't be the same- but it never is. Take every little bit you can get. Link to post Share on other sites
pinkroses Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 I'm also sensitive to season changes. Spring is especially hard because it's associated with love and new beginnings and sunshine and flowers and happiness. I live near a huge park and at this time of the year when it starts warming up I see couples out walking or rollerblading together, etc. and it makes me feel more alone. With summer coming up too, I think of being outdoors and events coming up, and not having someone to enjoy them with. It's not that you let some other person determine how you feel, as someone mentioned here. Feelings just are. When you've loved someone and suddenly they're gone, it's impossible to be human and not feel sadness and loss. One way I'm dealing with the sunshine is just by taking one day at a time. I'm thinking of taking my son to the park or to outdoor events, and thinking of making him happy. Or I'll think of going out walking on the trail with a friend, and hopefully doing some guy-watching. It's hard, but you'll find love again, and replace the sad memories with new, good ones---ones that involve sunny days. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts