fooled once Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 My family suffered a huge loss 2 years ago today. My sisters 3 year old child died, unexpectedly. I was raised Catholic (although I do not practice it anymore; but I am a Christian). My sister and BIL are Christian also. It is so hard to wrap my head around God taking the life of a child. My BIl said at the funeral that his child is now in Heaven riding the pony that the child always wanted to ride. He gave a beautiful and moving tribute to this young, tender life that was taken so soon and so quickly. I know that God has a reason for everything. I do believe that. But it is so hard to wrap my head around the loss of such a small, loved child when there are so many mean, hateful people in this world. At the rememberance service today, I was sitting with my parents and realized the toll this has taken on them -- they never expected to out live a grandchild. My big strong father has aged so much in the last 2 years I watched my BIL and sister and see how much faith they still have. I see how thankful they are for the time they had with their baby. I see how much they "accept" God taking their child from them. I do believe I have an angel in Heaven, who is being looked after by a dear, dear friend who died 3 years ago. I believe my friend is looking after my sisters child until my sister or BIL can be there to reunite. I know it isn't up to us to question God's decisions but days like today, it is so hard and so "unfair" that there are criminals who still roam the earth but this toddler doesn't get that option. Sorry if I am rambling, but today was a hard day. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 I'm sorry for your loss. Always here if you need to talk. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Incidents like that are why I no longer go to church. At this point in my life, I believe that God doesn't care about people on an individual basis. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 my deepest sympathies on your family's loss – no matter what the age of the "child," it's the deepest cut when you lose one to death. I wish I knew what to say, because any way you look at it, there *is* no good answer. I will offer this thought, though: Know that this little girl brought so much love and joy and happiness just by her very presence. Sometimes, this becomes the blessing that is able to override the loss ... many hugs to y'all, and prayers, too ... q Link to post Share on other sites
BB07 Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Big hugs FO and I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I think you know that I'm the parent of a daughter born with severe disabilities because of a birth defect. It's not the same as dealing with the death of a child but it's similar because instead of a healthy baby I hoped for, I was given one who had many deformities and had very high chances of having physical and mental deformities and a high probability of not surviving the 1st year. It's not the same as your loss but yet it was loss and I had to grieve it and accept it. I went through a time period where I was angry at God because I didn't understand how he could let something this horrible happen to my daughter. I have since made peace with it and accepted it. My definition of faith is belief in things unseen and I also believe that there are many things here on earth they we do not and will not understand in this life but I do believe with all my heart that there are reasons and someday there will be understanding of these things, maybe not here on earth but in heaven. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how awful that must be. I personally don't believe in god, but in cases like this where belief provides comfort, I sometimes wish I did. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fooled once Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 I'm sorry for your loss. Always here if you need to talk. Thanks Tink. I just saw your "where you are" next to your name and it said Sesame Street. That made me smile. Thank you. my deepest sympathies on your family's loss – no matter what the age of the "child," it's the deepest cut when you lose one to death. I wish I knew what to say, because any way you look at it, there *is* no good answer. I will offer this thought, though: Know that this little girl brought so much love and joy and happiness just by her very presence. Sometimes, this becomes the blessing that is able to override the loss ... many hugs to y'all, and prayers, too ... q Thank you so much. There isn't a good answer - you are so right. At times, I don't even know what to say to my sis and BIL. I do know we talk about their child all the time and I know this will not stop. It is only unfortunate that we only have 3 years worth of memories. Big hugs FO and I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I think you know that I'm the parent of a daughter born with severe disabilities because of a birth defect. It's not the same as dealing with the death of a child but it's similar because instead of a healthy baby I hoped for, I was given one who had many deformities and had very high chances of having physical and mental deformities and a high probability of not surviving the 1st year. It's not the same as your loss but yet it was loss and I had to grieve it and accept it. I went through a time period where I was angry at God because I didn't understand how he could let something this horrible happen to my daughter. I have since made peace with it and accepted it. My definition of faith is belief in things unseen and I also believe that there are many things here on earth they we do not and will not understand in this life but I do believe with all my heart that there are reasons and someday there will be understanding of these things, maybe not here on earth but in heaven. BB ((hugs)) I do understand what you are saying and where you are coming from. I think all parents hope for a "healthy" child and when a friend doesn't have a healthy one, many people are at a loss for what to say. A very close friend of mine has a little boy with Downs Syndrome and her other child is autistic. I told her that God gave her kids the best parent He could find because it takes someone very special to have and raise 2 special needs kids. Her kids are awesome and just wonderful. She IS the perfect mom for them. You also hit it on the head with not understanding until we are no longer here but when we go to Heaven, we will 'see' more clearly. Thank you for your words ((hugs)) FO, I don't think how strong we are in our faith, there will be times we go "why me, why my family. I don't understand". I think this is normal. I am sorry for the loss you and your family experienced. We (my family) have experienced similar losses. It always hurts my heart when any child dies(teens seem to hit me the hardest, maybe because they are closer in age to my own) I pray you and your family find the peace that we all seek when we loose someone we love. Hug each other and tell them how much you love each other......A LOT! Thanks Bent. I hoped you would respond (kinda freaking hearing that huh? I am so sorry for the losses you have experienced and I get what you mean about teens. I feel the same way about young adults, as that is my son's age. I just don't know if I would ever be able to go on in this life without him and I hope and pray I never have to find out. Weirdly, this loss has brought us all closer together....but maybe that was THE PLAN anyway? ((hugs)) Thank you to everyone who replied. I appreciate your thoughts and words of comfort. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 I am so sorry for your loss and condolences to your sister, BIL and rest of the family. How incredibly heartbreaking. Right now I'm at a loss for words, so much going on inside my head but I can't articulate how to say anything today, so I will come back tomorrow and post some more. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 My aunt lost her son ( my cousin) during his prime of teen years. One message she said made clear to all of us thru out the years is : Speak of him for he is still in my heart, for if you forget him you have broken my heart. I've no doubt in my mind that God didnt "plan" my cousins death or my nieces a few years later. What he did do and I do beleive, is he welcomed the souls back into its rightful place. Only someone who has walked that path can say...I know...I sincerely know... The wound wil heal yet the scar will be touched from time to time....its a good thing, it validates that we love and they loved us.... Link to post Share on other sites
GordonWayneWatts Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 (edited) My family suffered a huge loss 2 years ago today. My sisters 3 year old child died, unexpectedly. I was raised Catholic (although I do not practice it anymore; but I am a Christian). My sister and BIL are Christian also. It is so hard to wrap my head around God taking the life of a child. My BIl said at the funeral that his child is now in Heaven riding the pony that the child always wanted to ride. He gave a beautiful and moving tribute to this young, tender life that was taken so soon and so quickly. I know that God has a reason for everything. I do believe that. But it is so hard to wrap my head around the loss of such a small, loved child when there are so many mean, hateful people in this world. At the rememberance service today, I was sitting with my parents and realized the toll this has taken on them -- they never expected to out live a grandchild. My big strong father has aged so much in the last 2 years I watched my BIL and sister and see how much faith they still have. I see how thankful they are for the time they had with their baby. I see how much they "accept" God taking their child from them. I do believe I have an angel in Heaven, who is being looked after by a dear, dear friend who died 3 years ago. I believe my friend is looking after my sisters child until my sister or BIL can be there to reunite. I know it isn't up to us to question God's decisions but days like today, it is so hard and so "unfair" that there are criminals who still roam the earth but this toddler doesn't get that option. Sorry if I am rambling, but today was a hard day. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Don't worry - Jesus has grabbed hold of your nephew/niece -and he/she is safe, however, both of you will have to make a free will choice to accept Jesus -to get into heaven -John 14:6. (Sorry: No shortcuts - God is a fair player according to scriptures.) What I'm saying is that your beloved kin is in heaven for the time being, but he/she is held is a state of youth -and you will be reunited in the 1,000-year Millennium Reign of Jesus -and, assuming you're saved, you'll get a chance to help your sister to raise her child --and share the Gospel with him/her. This is not what you usually hear -- most people say the child will go to heaven AND STAY there -but this is not the case, or else God would be pleased with us killing children to "send them to heaven," an since we know differently, this is not a way to secure the child's salvation. God will not cheat or shortchange your nephew or niece in his/her chance to hear the Gospel --so don't be all sad at my unexpected Revelation. I researched what the Bible "really" said on this topic, and I would suggest you print out my paper and study is before you aspire to reply -and see first what the Bible has to say --it only takes like 14 pages to print in colour (or maybe 23 if you're using Internet Explorer) http://GordonWatts.com/theology/WhenBabiesDie.html or http://GordonWayneWatts.com/theology/WhenBabiesDie.html Edited March 20, 2011 by GordonWayneWatts fix LOTS of spelling typos LOL :-) :-) Link to post Share on other sites
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