buckeyelove Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 I've been with my partner for about a year and a half. I believe that he is one of my soul mates. We met as I was going through a divorce and we instantly connected and have been deeply in love ever since. We consider each other life partners and we are/were married in our hearts. Several weeks ago, I made a decison to move to a different state. This was not a decision made lightly or without my partner's input. I truly believed that he would be able to make the move with me after a few months and he would be happy for me in the meantime. What has happened since then has been nothing short of hell. He has put me on an emotional rollercoaster than noone should ever have to experience, to the point of me having a nervous breakdown. I've discovered that he has some control issues, as well as some abandonment issues that result from his childhood. I went ahead with the move, even though I was a complete wreak. My partner will not continue to be with me if I choose to live in a different state. His belief is that a long distance relationship just does not work for him and he isn't willing to try it. Being away from him for several weeks, I've continued to be an absolute mess. I've had a very difficult time deciding if I should stay in my new state or move back to be with my partner. I feel in my gut that the best thing for me right now is to move back. However, long-term, I know that there are many issues in our relationship and I don't believe that it will ultimately work out. Would you stay in a relationship because it feels good now, even if you knew that long-term, you want different things? Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Hey B, I can understand why your partner doesn't want to do a long distance R. Not many people can handle them. As for whether you stay or go back - that all depends on what your main priority is. - if you go back, will you find yourself resenting him for persuading you to give up a job you really wanted. OTH - if you stay at your job, will you regret breaking things off with him because of a job. you mentioned that you don't really think things will work out with your 2 down the road - if you already have that in mind, I would say that it is very likely that you will resent him a lot if you leave the job to go to him. Mainly because you're already kind of writing off this R - so when times are bad, you'd be kicking yourself for making that move. I dunno - just my $0.02 you need to figure out what you really want: a Maybe relationship, or a good career. what stands out most to you? Link to post Share on other sites
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