Expectations of LS?

[Silly_Girl]

I have to think about the two boards not being on the same forum though. It was the BS here that helped me the most.

 

I wonder if there's a reason for that...

[fooled once]

There seem to be very few times when a post is reported and removed and infraction given for the right reasons on LS, i.e. when dangerous advice is offered; but I also understand how difficult it is for one person, one moderator, to judge each complaint individually on its own merits.

 

As far as the infractions I received, well they just proved to me that the posting that caused offence must have hit a nerve with the reporter. The truth hurts and all that.

 

As for an OW only forum, they have one, just not on LS.

 

In that vein, I think that having both an OW forum and a BS forum on the same site is counter productive to what appears to be the LS ethos. Just my opinion.

 

Great post Turn!!!

 

Beware! In the eyes of some this makes you (re your EA) a MOW and means you might come in for some stick for the 'affair' you participated in with respect to your LDR recently.... you are 'technically and legally' a CHEAT!!!

 

 

I wonder if there's a reason for that...

 

What do these posts mean Silly?

 

Who is the "some" that you speak of in the first quote?

 

And why the snarky remark to jthorne? Care to explain your reasoning for the comment you made? Are you implying that jthorne was a former BS? What makes you come to that conclusion? Because she knows and acknowledges her affair was a mistake? Why did you choose to make the comment? You could have left it alone, but you chose to, imho, pot stir/take a poke at her. Why? If you don't like her, just ignore her.

 

I know some like to think I am a closet BS. As if that is a 'bad' thing. If I had been betrayed by my husband, why would I not admit that? Is it because I am anti-affair that some like to throw the "BS" label at me? I am far from bitter, again, as some like to believe. But I can't control what they think. If it makes them feel better to think that, that's their right. Not sure why someone needs to make things up about someone they don't even know, but hey, whatever floats their boat.

 

Or is being a "BS" a bad thing? If so, why? Is it better to be an OW? Why does it even matter what part of the affair triangle someone is on? Can't someone have a different view even though they are on the same leg of the triangle? I am a smoker, but I never want my child to smoke and I would never encourage someone else to smoke. I know it is harmful and I know it may kill me one day. But it is my choice.

 

I also hate fruit. Never eat it. I know I am supposed to and I know I made my son eat it as a kid. Again, so what. Does it mean I can't be a fruit farmer if I was so inclined? Does it make someone bad to be anti-fruit eating? No. It's my choice and it isn't hurting anyone else that I choose to not eat fruit.

[Silly_Girl]

What do these posts mean Silly?

 

Could you be more specific? They're not written in code so am unsure where you need me to elaborate

 

Who is the "some" that you speak of in the first quote?

 

I generally see you kicking about on threads I'm referring you, and I have addressed a post to you directly on the subject elsewhere so I'm surprised to hear you ask

 

And why the snarky remark to jthorne? Care to explain your reasoning for the comment you made?

 

Since I don't view it as snarky I'm sure there's no need for me to justify it for you.

 

Are you implying that jthorne was a former BS?

 

Didn't say that, but will think further on that.

 

What makes you come to that conclusion?

 

I haven't as yet.

 

Because she knows and acknowledges her affair was a mistake?

 

It certainly was. And she certainly does.

 

Why did you choose to make the comment?

 

I wasn't around when JT joined and after TWO DECADES in an active affair I was intrigued as to whether there's a reason she seemed to identify more fully with those who have suffered infidelity from their spouse, as opposed to those who actively and consistently chose that path over a prolonged period of time.

 

You could have left it alone, but you chose to, imho, pot stir/take a poke at her.

 

Sad you feel that way.

 

Why? If you don't like her, just ignore her.

 

Great advice, thanks. Looking round the boards I suspect there's lots of us that perhaps ought to consider that course of action.

 

I know some like to think I am a closet BS.

 

Really? I've not heard that, but I can imagine someone jumping to that conclusion.

 

As if that is a 'bad' thing. If I had been betrayed by my husband, why would I not admit that?

 

Some posters do feel unable to be totally honest about what led them to be here so I wouldn't be too offended.

 

Is it because I am anti-affair that some like to throw the "BS" label at me?

 

Did you ask them?

 

I am far from bitter, again, as some like to believe. But I can't control what they think. If it makes them feel better to think that, that's their right. Not sure why someone needs to make things up about someone they don't even know, but hey, whatever floats their boat.

 

Or is being a "BS" a bad thing? If so, why? Is it better to be an OW? Why does it even matter what part of the affair triangle someone is on? Can't someone have a different view even though they are on the same leg of the triangle? I am a smoker, but I never want my child to smoke and I would never encourage someone else to smoke. I know it is harmful and I know it may kill me one day. But it is my choice.

 

I'm sorry FO, I think I've lost track of the point you're making here. Is it along the lines of 'Do as I say, not as I do'?

 

I also hate fruit. Never eat it. I know I am supposed to and I know I made my son eat it as a kid. Again, so what. Does it mean I can't be a fruit farmer if I was so inclined? Does it make someone bad to be anti-fruit eating? No. It's my choice and it isn't hurting anyone else that I choose to not eat fruit.

 

Sorry. It's early Sunday morning after a late Saturday night. Again, I wasn't sure what you were referring to, but my head is very fuzzy!!

[Spark1111]

Great post Turn!!!

 

 

 

 

 

What do these posts mean Silly?

 

Who is the "some" that you speak of in the first quote?

 

And why the snarky remark to jthorne? Care to explain your reasoning for the comment you made? Are you implying that jthorne was a former BS? What makes you come to that conclusion? Because she knows and acknowledges her affair was a mistake? Why did you choose to make the comment? You could have left it alone, but you chose to, imho, pot stir/take a poke at her. Why? If you don't like her, just ignore her.

 

I know some like to think I am a closet BS. As if that is a 'bad' thing. If I had been betrayed by my husband, why would I not admit that? Is it because I am anti-affair that some like to throw the "BS" label at me? I am far from bitter, again, as some like to believe. But I can't control what they think. If it makes them feel better to think that, that's their right. Not sure why someone needs to make things up about someone they don't even know, but hey, whatever floats their boat.

 

Or is being a "BS" a bad thing? If so, why? Is it better to be an OW? Why does it even matter what part of the affair triangle someone is on? Can't someone have a different view even though they are on the same leg of the triangle? I am a smoker, but I never want my child to smoke and I would never encourage someone else to smoke. I know it is harmful and I know it may kill me one day. But it is my choice.

 

I also hate fruit. Never eat it. I know I am supposed to and I know I made my son eat it as a kid. Again, so what. Does it mean I can't be a fruit farmer if I was so inclined? Does it make someone bad to be anti-fruit eating? No. It's my choice and it isn't hurting anyone else that I choose to not eat fruit.

 

I think this is why I always or usually mention fBS here when introducing my posts.

 

If the perception is I will have nothing to offer the OW/OM, then they can skip right over my post, if their EXPECTATION is that I will take a side.

 

When I first found LS, I read some posts to my H as a tool to promote conversation and healing between us regarding his affair.

 

We learned many things together!

 

One of the most wrenching for him to learn was that the pattern his affair followed was so similiar to so many others; from its feelings to its course of actions, to its demise.

 

He had thought? Wanted to believe? He had been unique. It bolstered the romanticized view of "it just happened" and he held onto that for a long time as a necessary self-protection.

 

To learn otherwise here at LS of how common the triangle dynamic sets the affair script in place was to take his blinders off for the first time.

 

We are a cliche. Nothing special about that.

[jj33]

I think this is why I always or usually mention fBS here when introducing my posts.

 

If the perception is I will have nothing to offer the OW/OM, then they can skip right over my post, if their EXPECTATION is that I will take a side.

 

When I first found LS, I read some posts to my H as a tool to promote conversation and healing between us regarding his affair.

 

We learned many things together!

 

One of the most wrenching for him to learn was that the pattern his affair followed was so similiar to so many others; from its feelings to its course of actions, to its demise.

 

He had thought? Wanted to believe? He had been unique. It bolstered the romanticized view of "it just happened" and he held onto that for a long time as a necessary self-protection.

 

To learn otherwise here at LS of how common the triangle dynamic sets the affair script in place was to take his blinders off for the first time.

 

We are a cliche. Nothing special about that.

 

Spark without minimizing the impact that an affair can have on a betrayed spouse, I dont think an affair is any more cliche than any other relationship.

 

If you read a dating board there is girl meets boy they go out and 9 times out of 10 it ends, the person who was rejected may believe for some period of time that they lost a great love and will never love again, and then eventually the heart heals and they move on. Or the more pragmatic say, I thought it was true love but it wasnt.

 

Relatioships whether they involve true love or something less are never cliche to me. Each interaction with have with others makes us who we are and pushes us farther along our path. Some experiences are better or worse than others, or have better or worse consequences but I do not think they are cliche.

[jthorne]

I wasn't around when JT joined and after TWO DECADES in an active affair I was intrigued as to whether there's a reason she seemed to identify more fully with those who have suffered infidelity from their spouse, as opposed to those who actively and consistently chose that path over a prolonged period of time.

Um, I know you OW like to bring this two decades nonsense up, but it's completely incorrect. Knowing someone for two decades does not equal having an active affair for two decades, but whatever.

 

Okay, you got me. I confess.

I am really a betrayed spouse.

Edited March 20, 2011 by jthorne

[Silly_Girl]

Um, I know you OW like to bring this two decades nonsense up, but it's completely incorrect. Knowing someone for two decades does not equal having an active affair for two decades, but whatever.

 

I did make it clear I wasn't a member when you joined. I apologise if my lack of knowledge of your situation has offended you.

 

I suspect I have a lesser grasp of your story than others, based on what I have read on LS.

[fooled once]

Silly, I am not sure why you chose to play a game here, as it seems to me.

 

What do these posts mean Silly?

 

Could you be more specific? They're not written in code so am unsure where you need me to elaborate

 

Exactly what I asked - what do you mean by "some" that you wrote in the first quote. WHO are the "some".

 

And what does "I wonder if there's a reason for that..." when JThorne stated she identified with more BS's than OW. What did you mean by "I wonder if there is a reason for that". What were you hinting at or trying to say?

 

Who is the "some" that you speak of in the first quote?

 

I generally see you kicking about on threads I'm referring you, and I have addressed a post to you directly on the subject elsewhere so I'm surprised to hear you ask

 

what does that mean? You see me kicking about on threads I'm referring you? I have no idea where you are saying you addressed a post to me directly on the subject elsewhere. I don't have as much time as you seem to have to be on here. I don't go back and read every single post I had previously posted on. So can you either point me in the direction of where you wrote something or link it here?

 

And why the snarky remark to jthorne? Care to explain your reasoning for the comment you made?

 

Since I don't view it as snarky I'm sure there's no need for me to justify it for you.

 

Oh, okay But as I asked above, what did you mean by what you wrote?

 

Are you implying that jthorne was a former BS?

 

Didn't say that, but will think further on that.

 

Okay.

 

What makes you come to that conclusion?

 

I haven't as yet.

 

Because she knows and acknowledges her affair was a mistake?

 

It certainly was. And she certainly does.

 

So what is wrong with that? What is wrong with her, me, LadyDesigner, and several others who decide that what we were involved in was wrong?

 

Why did you choose to make the comment?

 

I wasn't around when JT joined and after TWO DECADES in an active affair I was intrigued as to whether there's a reason she seemed to identify more fully with those who have suffered infidelity from their spouse, as opposed to those who actively and consistently chose that path over a prolonged period of time.

 

You could have left it alone, but you chose to, imho, pot stir/take a poke at her.

 

Sad you feel that way.

 

So how do you know the timeline for jthorne's affair? Did you go back and research all her posts? I identify much more with the BS's on here than the current OW. I also identify with many of the former OW on here. So what? And yes, I do believe you wrote what you did to poke at her AND stir the pot. Why? Why is it necessary for you to do that? Aren't you one who was complaining about the infighting here? Haven't you repeatedly said on here how unsupportive LS is there days? Isn't that one of the reasons why you have another board to post on? Where you all can agree and sit around and talk about how great the MM you are all having affairs with are? How happy you all are and how mean and nasty the LS posters are? Many of us have seen the topics there - we see what is going on. If this place makes you unhappy, why continue to come here and how come and take pot shots at someone

 

Why? If you don't like her, just ignore her.

 

Great advice, thanks. Looking round the boards I suspect there's lots of us that perhaps ought to consider that course of action.

 

Completely agree. Maybe by doing so, it will end snarky comments?

 

I know some like to think I am a closet BS.

 

Really? I've not heard that, but I can imagine someone jumping to that conclusion.

 

really? Why? How can you image someone jumping to that conclusion?

 

As if that is a 'bad' thing. If I had been betrayed by my husband, why would I not admit that?

 

Silly, I am not sure why you are making many of the comments you are -- so I would appreciate it if you could clear it up for me. Thanks for helping me to understand where you are coming from. Not sure why you seem to have an axe to grind....

[NoIDidn't]

Beware! In the eyes of some this makes you (re your EA) a MOW and means you might come in for some stick for the 'affair' you participated in with respect to your LDR recently.... you are 'technically and legally' a CHEAT!!!

 

 

I wonder if there's a reason for that...

 

These posts are exactly the kind that are complained about in the "other" forum about people pointing others out to label them as unsupportive or whatever.

 

I'm really disappointed to see you posting like this Silly. Its really hard to say you want support and then show that you aren't here to support others.

 

We can either be part of the problem, or part of the solution. The quoted posts are part of the problem.

 

People don't come to LS to have accusations leveled against them. That's certainly not one of their expectations.

[Silly_Girl]

These posts are exactly the kind that are complained about in the "other" forum about people pointing others out to label them as unsupportive or whatever.

 

I'm really disappointed to see you posting like this Silly. Its really hard to say you want support and then show that you aren't here to support others.

 

We can either be part of the problem, or part of the solution. The quoted posts are part of the problem.

 

People don't come to LS to have accusations leveled against them. That's certainly not one of their expectations.

 

I'm very sad, NID, that you would make an example of my posts, but choose to ignore the many provocative posts/digs I have received previous that have led to this.

 

I think it is indicative of the bigger picture.

 

But I am going to give your post some thought. Thanks.

[Silly_Girl]

Exactly what I asked - what do you mean by "some" that you wrote in the first quote. WHO are the "some".

 

Yourself and other posters.

 

And what does "I wonder if there's a reason for that..." when JThorne stated she identified with more BS's than OW. What did you mean by "I wonder if there is a reason for that". What were you hinting at or trying to say?

 

I genuinely wonder if there is a reason for that. I don't profess to know what the reason might be. It's a curious circumstance and it intrigues me.

 

Who is the "some" that you speak of in the first quote?

 

See above.

 

what does that mean? You see me kicking about on threads I'm referring you? I have no idea where you are saying you addressed a post to me directly on the subject elsewhere. I don't have as much time as you seem to have to be on here. I don't go back and read every single post I had previously posted on. So can you either point me in the direction of where you wrote something or link it here?

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3293070&postcount=76

 

 

Oh, okay But as I asked above, what did you mean by what you wrote?

 

As above.

 

 

Okay.

So what is wrong with that? What is wrong with her, me, LadyDesigner, and several others who decide that what we were involved in was wrong?

 

FO - could you point out where I have said that feeling that way is wrong because I'm a little confused. Thanks.

 

So how do you know the timeline for jthorne's affair? Did you go back and research all her posts?

 

It seems I don't know the timeline JT has popped up and asserted that. This is what I have gleaned from reading the boards. It is VERY rare I go back and read others posts, I know some like to do it a lot, but I only tend to do so if someone returns after a long hiatus and it's useful to get background and previous events.

 

I identify much more with the BS's on here than the current OW. I also identify with many of the former OW on here. So what? And yes, I do believe you wrote what you did to poke at her AND stir the pot. Why? Why is it necessary for you to do that? Aren't you one who was complaining about the infighting here? Haven't you repeatedly said on here how unsupportive LS is there days? Isn't that one of the reasons why you have another board to post on? Where you all can agree and sit around and talk about how great the MM you are all having affairs with are? How happy you all are and how mean and nasty the LS posters are? Many of us have seen the topics there - we see what is going on. If this place makes you unhappy, why continue to come here and how come and take pot shots at someone

 

If I choose to belong to another board, what business is that of yours? If you are reading my posts then I very much hope you may be able to understand and empathise my frustrations with regards some posters/approaches here on the OW board. I would feel very heartened to hear that you see the content of my posts. You may not AGREE with my views, but to be understood would be a great step forward in my view.

 

Regarding: "Where you all can agree and sit around and talk about how great the MM you are all having affairs with are?" As you are aware, I am in a public relationship with a separated man. And many others who post on the only other forum I frequent are also not in affairs at all. I'd really appreciate it if you would not generalise quite so much, it is something which then goes on to needlessly cause conflict and resentment, in my view.

 

I am also interested in how you feel about my view that I have taken a lot of pot shots in the first instance. That you are merely reacting to MY reaction...

 

 

Completely agree. Maybe by doing so, it will end snarky comments?

 

That would be great.

 

really? Why? How can you image someone jumping to that conclusion?

 

Please remember, FO, I am not one who has accused you in that vein. I am simply saying I can see why it might happen. I can ALSO see why it might not happen... As a former OW I find it surprising that - to the best of my recollection - you rarely seem able to identify with the feelings that current OW have. I wasn't here when you were posting about your affair, but perhaps the strength of feeling in your situation was not as great as some people have experienced in THEIR affair. I think you come across as entirely anti- the whole situation. And that is fine and your prerogative, but to offer support to OWs who really are struggling, when you are so vehemently against the principle that it could be a real relationship, or be something so very important to the poster... I find it hard.

 

None of us wish pain on any party in - what we call - The Triangle. But similar to screaming at an abused wife that she is irresponsible not to leave, I think the same sort of principle applies here. The reasons people enter affairs differ, as do the type of affair, and the outcome. I often feel you believe only one 'script' and therefore your 'support' can be extremely prejudiced. For my part, that lack of empathy/understanding I perceive (whether true or not) could lead some people to suspect you are more likely to have been wronged by infidelity within an established relationship, than the OW who had strong feelings for a MM.

 

When I was NC, because I couldn't see another way, you supported me and you were a wonderful cheerleader and I appreciated your energy in supporting me, you were very kind. However, my route was not the right one for myself and my love. I realised this, and strongly feel that you are unable to respect my decision. It has turned out to be a wonderful move on both our parts. I could post for hours on that subject, but it would bore the pants off you. But just because I didn't take the FO way shouldn't mean you can't accept that I did the best thing for me, and he did the best thing for him (and for his wife, in many people's opinion).

 

As if that is a 'bad' thing. If I had been betrayed by my husband, why would I not admit that?

 

I have been aware that many people are not entirely comfortable being honest about their status/prior experience. The only reason there might be to not admit to being a BS is that one MIGHT feel their advice would be taken more seriously if they were coming from an 'OW angle' as opposed to a 'BS angle'. I don't subscribe to that. Wow. Just looking at Seren, and Silk's, and Owl's and others posts, of course that is not always the case.

 

I suffered infidelity (we were not married, however) for a period of 8 years. Of course I do not believe it something that should be hidden or ashamed of.

 

Silly, I am not sure why you are making many of the comments you are -- so I would appreciate it if you could clear it up for me. Thanks for helping me to understand where you are coming from. Not sure why you seem to have an axe to grind....

 

I have done my best to answer clearly, FO. I very much hope it is helpful even if it is not necessarily how you would wish me to respond. All the best.

[thomasb]

Since the t/j is in full swing (sorry Spark) maybe I can shed some light on this. Anyone can identify with any group of people they want to. Former smokers can be virulently anti smoking even moreso than those that never smoked.

 

And even if Silly wasnt here its unusual for someone to identify as strongly as you do given your history. I have a vivid recollection of this post by you J Thorne because I was so amazed that anyone could be as strong as you were and get over the pain of ending an affair that spanned 19 years (even if on and off) in a day.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2676021&postcount=10

 

Every situation is different and every person responds differently to different situatoins and maybe by the time you ended it you had grieved it but it seemed miraculous. Personally I dont care if you were a BS or an OW or a skydiver. But with all the socks on here in the past year, it did give me pause when I first saw your post. Regardless of your history I wouldnt ever think of you as a sock now as you are very clear in your views and dont try to hide them.

 

Maybe now we can go back to Spark's topic.

 

 

 

So someone who is virulently opposed, through experience, to affairs must be a BS! That is a joke and a half. Ever heard of a born again Christian, an ex-smoker, or perhaps a recovering alcoholic. You won't find anyone more opposed to the prescribed destructive behavior than someone who has seen the consequences and fallout if their own. When you see the pain and terrible anguish in the eyes of the ones you yourself love, and know that you are the sole cause, it does something to your soul.

I know their are FWS who don't feel that way. Maybe they are the ones that society needs to worry about. There was recently a discussion on psychotic behavior, in my opinion, the ones who are not remorseful of the pain they have caused are the ones who are showing the symptoms of having exactly that condition. They show it by having no empathy for their victims. And the wife and her children are the victims. I would know.

Edited March 21, 2011 by thomasb

[jj33]

So someone who is virulently opposed, through experience, to affairs must be a BS! That is a joke and a half. Ever heard of a born again Christian, an ex-smoker, or perhaps a recovering alcoholic. You won't find anyone more opposed to the prescribed destructive behavior than someone who has seen the consequences and fallout if their own. When you see the pain and terrible anguish in the eyes of the ones you yourself love, and know that you are the sole cause, it does something to your soul.

I know their are FWS who don't feel that way. Maybe they are the ones that society needs to worry about. There was recently a discussion on psychotic behavior, in my opinion, the ones who are not remorseful of the pain they have caused are the ones who are showing the symptoms of having exactly that condition. They show it by having no empathy for their victims. And the wife and her children are the victims. I would know.

 

That is not what I said. First of all I am amazed that this t/j has been going on so long. Its a pet peeve of mine that half of this forum and its companion forum have been reduced to bickering. I posted what I did to show why Silly thought what she did and to hopefully end the bickering on this thread I have failed.

 

I said that I thought that for a day or so when I first saw J thornes posts about getting over him so quickly. Kudos to her that she did. None of us know each other IRL. We only know what we read, and it makes an impression on us in various ways. I respect the fact that JT was able to process and get over the affair so quickly.

 

Thomas I only wish you would find the same peace for yourself and stop lashing out at others. You made a mistake and you stopped your behavior time to pick up your toys and move on no?

 

I am officially out of this squabling, I posted that post in an attempt to show what might have caused (might) someone to think what they did.

 

If you wish to spend your free time debating it and how that makes me or Silly or anyone else a dysfunctional person have at it. Perhaps you want to do it on a new thread

[Spark1111]

That is not what I said. First of all I am amazed that this t/j has been going on so long. Its a pet peeve of mine that half of this forum and its companion forum have been reduced to bickering. I posted what I did to show why Silly thought what she did and to hopefully end the bickering on this thread I have failed.

 

I said that I thought that for a day or so when I first saw J thornes posts about getting over him so quickly. Kudos to her that she did. None of us know each other IRL. We only know what we read, and it makes an impression on us in various ways. I respect the fact that JT was able to process and get over the affair so quickly.

 

Thomas I only wish you would find the same peace for yourself and stop lashing out at others. You made a mistake and you stopped your behavior time to pick up your toys and move on no?

 

I am officially out of this squabling, I posted that post in an attempt to show what might have caused (might) someone to think what they did.

 

If you wish to spend your free time debating it and how that makes me or Silly or anyone else a dysfunctional person have at it. Perhaps you want to do it on a new thread

 

jj, I like and respect you and your posts. You are intelligent and intuitive and I remember your pain and your work related stress.

 

I, for the life of me, will never understand the snarky drive-bys made to jthorne. Never. Constantly too.

 

But, she is a big girl and can defend herself, so I am not worried.

 

Here we go again: Are the expectations of jthorne be that she should sympathize with OW having once been one?

 

Is that a fair expectation?

 

How many fBS go on to become OM/OW on this site? Many, I would venture.

 

How many fWS rue the error of their ways, as they see it?

 

How many fOW/OM vow never again? Many.

[Spark1111]

These posts are exactly the kind that are complained about in the "other" forum about people pointing others out to label them as unsupportive or whatever.

 

I'm really disappointed to see you posting like this Silly. Its really hard to say you want support and then show that you aren't here to support others.

 

We can either be part of the problem, or part of the solution. The quoted posts are part of the problem.

 

People don't come to LS to have accusations leveled against them. That's certainly not one of their expectations.

 

I agree! Fostering an us against them mentality is not only divisive and personality-driven, it is not supportive on either board!

 

And I wonder where it comes from or why it continues to this day. As if LS is a battleground to be "won," somehow.

 

My expectation is to take what I need and leave the rest. Like Hazyhead!

 

Personalities do not engage me to heal, though many have been invaluable in helping me to understand and heal.

 

Advice that rings true does! From whatever perception and viewpoint it is offered.

[jthorne]

If I choose to belong to another board, what business is that of yours? If you are reading my posts then I very much hope you may be able to understand and empathise my frustrations with regards some posters/approaches here on the OW board. I would feel very heartened to hear that you see the content of my posts. You may not AGREE with my views, but to be understood would be a great step forward in my view.

Thank you for posting this, Silly. I will remember the next time I am accused of being a member of "another" site, that on LS I should have the expectation that my membership (or non-membership in this case) on other boards is no one else's business.

[donnamaybe]

Thank you for posting this, Silly. I will remember the next time I am accused of being a member of "another" site, that on LS I should have the expectation that my membership (or non-membership in this case) on other boards is no one else's business.

Really? Membership on another board is no one's business? If that's so, why are there numerous threads about LS AND discussion about certain LS members going on at a board other than LS?

[jthorne]

Really? Membership on another board is no one's business? If that's so, why are there numerous threads about LS AND discussion about certain LS members going on at a board other than LS?

People want it both ways? Is that a reasonable expectation?

[silktricks]

Really? Membership on another board is no one's business? If that's so, why are there numerous threads about LS AND discussion about certain LS members going on at a board other than LS?

 

That doesn't change the fact that membership on a board other than LS is not the business of anyone on LS.

 

And, I guess I really don't understand why anyone should care that there are threads on another board about this one????? I mean really, what does it matter?

[Silly_Girl]

Really? Membership on another board is no one's business? If that's so, why are there numerous threads about LS AND discussion about certain LS members going on at a board other than LS?

 

I was asked why I continue to post on LS despite being a member of another board.

 

I respectfully suggest that is my concern only. Unless I am banned because I belong to more than one site, I may continue posting.

[donnamaybe]

That doesn't change the fact that membership on a board other than LS is not the business of anyone on LS.

 

And, I guess I really don't understand why anyone should care that there are threads on another board about this one????? I mean really, what does it matter?

We don't, really. It's merely amusing, at best. It was just the hypocrisy of it all.

[Bionic Me]

This place has turned so lame...

 

Nothing has really changed. What a shame! tsk, tsk, tsk. The moderators are too busy to really moderate and Tony gives time-out to people for defending themselves. Really nice!

 

What's the point of talking about LS members out of LS? That's pretty childish. Don't speak about people who are not present to defend themselves. Only shows how dark some people are.

 

Good luck!

 

Ya'll see a lot of oldies being gone and that's because there is not much to offer here anymore. It's turned into a bickering show between the same 5 people.

[jthorne]

This place has turned so lame...

 

Nothing has really changed. What a shame! tsk, tsk, tsk. The moderators are too busy to really moderate and Tony gives time-out to people for defending themselves. Really nice!

 

What's the point of talking about LS members out of LS? That's pretty childish. Don't speak about people who are not present to defend themselves. Only shows how dark some people are.

 

Good luck!

 

Ya'll see a lot of oldies being gone and that's because there is not much to offer here anymore. It's turned into a bickering show between the same 5 people.

What's darker is when people close their sites so that they can post personal information about LS members.

 

THAT is something I NEVER expected.

[Bionic Me]

What's darker is when people close their sites so that they can post personal information about LS members.

 

THAT is something I NEVER expected.

 

Maybe they dont have the cojones to post it here or they do but everything gets flagged. I think that a separate site should be created, so we can really tell each other wtf we think about one another.

 

It must get old to hear about the same stories and same people validating their relationships. WGAF!

[WorldIsYours]

Maybe they dont have the cojones to post it here or they do but everything gets flagged. I think that a separate site should be created, so we can really tell each other wtf we think about one another.

 

It must get old to hear about the same stories and same people validating their relationships. WGAF!

 

I agree with the bolded. There are not many sites out there that have moderators who DO NOT control/edit people's posts.