myname Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Do I scratch? Only his eyes out. Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Did you cover for him? No not once. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonah Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 No not once. Did your MM ask you wtf? Link to post Share on other sites
frenchiefun Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 No, not like that, not something completely obvious but more subtle. Though you may not have left your panties behind, wouldn't you consider your being there the same thing? No - I left no traces of myself, and what she doesn't know can't hurt her, right? Or are you talking about the OW, rather than leaving obvious evidence and forcing a confrontation and perhaps DDay, getting some sort of satisfaction from "marking" her territory, so to speak, even if it wasn't immediately obvious to the BS? I don't think that had any impact on my decision to have sex with him at his house - I don't feel in competition with her as I don't want him to leave her, so that makes a difference. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonah Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 I don't think that had any impact on my decision to have sex with him at his house - I don't feel in competition with her as I don't want him to leave her, so that makes a difference. I am guessing then, that you had sex with him at his house because you found yourself's alone together there and, well, we know what happens when you two were alone together. So nothing to do with the location. Right? You say "decision" like you thought about this. Was there an actual thought process? Was it that he asked you to? >> When asked why he shot the man in the back: >> "Because his back was to me". >> -Billy the kid. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 No - I left no traces of myself, and what she doesn't know can't hurt her, right? Or are you talking about the OW, rather than leaving obvious evidence and forcing a confrontation and perhaps DDay, getting some sort of satisfaction from "marking" her territory, so to speak, even if it wasn't immediately obvious to the BS? I don't think that had any impact on my decision to have sex with him at his house - I don't feel in competition with her as I don't want him to leave her, so that makes a difference. ew just ew. I can't imagine going to the home that a man shares with his wife, his family. The place him and his wife share so many intimate things together daily and having sex with him. Why would you want to be in her home? Why not meet somewhere with out her "presence" everywhere? Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Did your MM ask you wtf? I'm sorry but your question doesn't make any sense. I'll answer it as I believe you're asking. He never asked me because when I went into the R I told him I wouldn't. I told him I wouldn't avoid places and I told him that if she contacted me at any time I would not lie to her or avoid her. I told him I wouldn't accept him taking calls from her while we were together and if it happened he did then I would continue with my actions; if my phone rang I'd answer it, if I had to cough I would, if I had something to ask him I would. Wtf-are you saying to me wtf like you don't believe me? I'm really struggling with exactly what you're asking. Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 ew just ew. I can't imagine going to the home that a man shares with his wife, his family. The place him and his wife share so many intimate things together daily and having sex with him. Why would you want to be in her home? Why not meet somewhere with out her "presence" everywhere? I think you need to remember that not every OW is remotely concerned with the BS. If someone is in it and not expecting the MM to ever leave home (or should I say wanting him to leave home) then what's the issue? To me as with everything in the A it's all to do with the WS and their regard for the BS. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I think you need to remember that not every OW is remotely concerned with the BS. If someone is in it and not expecting the MM to ever leave home (or should I say wanting him to leave home) then what's the issue? To me as with everything in the A it's all to do with the WS and their regard for the BS. I must say that answer has left me speechless. It is so different from how I think that I honestly don't know how to react to that. Actually I wish I could compartmentalize like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 I must say that answer has left me speechless.It is so different from how I think that I honestly don't know how to react to that. Actually I wish I could compartmentalize like that. GG, I think there's a lot of posters here in the same boat.... Find it physically impossible to comprehend a viewpoint too disimilar from their own. A real shame. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonah Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 I'm sorry but your question doesn't make any sense. I'll answer it as I believe you're asking. He never asked me because when I went into the R I told him I wouldn't. I told him I wouldn't avoid places and I told him that if she contacted me at any time I would not lie to her or avoid her. I told him I wouldn't accept him taking calls from her while we were together and if it happened he did then I would continue with my actions; if my phone rang I'd answer it, if I had to cough I would, if I had something to ask him I would. Wtf-are you saying to me wtf like you don't believe me? I'm really struggling with exactly what you're asking. Your answer indicates that you understood my question correctly. Thanks for the answer... I was just wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonah Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 Find it physically impossible to comprehend... Silly Girl! Maybe if they would try to mentally comprehend instead of physically comprehend they might just have a chance to wrap their head around alien concepts. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Silly Girl! Maybe if they would try to mentally comprehend instead of physically comprehend they might just have a chance to wrap their head around alien concepts. Oh no J tee I think they find it physically impossible to even start any mental comprehension. We're all wonderfully different. Link to post Share on other sites
frenchiefun Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 I am guessing then, that you had sex with him at his house because you found yourself's alone together there and, well, we know what happens when you two were alone together. So nothing to do with the location. Right? You say "decision" like you thought about this. Was there an actual thought process? Was it that he asked you to? >> When asked why he shot the man in the back: >> "Because his back was to me". >> -Billy the kid. The reason I went to his house was that I was working near there at the time, and it mde sense to meet him there. No point in spending money on motel rooms when there's a perfectly good house available. No hidden meanings or emotional stuff going on, just practical considerations. Link to post Share on other sites
frenchiefun Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 ew just ew. I can't imagine going to the home that a man shares with his wife, his family. The place him and his wife share so many intimate things together daily and having sex with him. Why would you want to be in her home? Why not meet somewhere with out her "presence" everywhere? Some people obviously find it so very difficult to understand, that I have no interest at all in his wife. I don't want her husband full time, just sometimes when it suits me, so i'm not in competition with her. She is an abstract concept to me. I have never asked about her, we don't discuss her when we're together, I'm really not interested in her at all. I didn't feel any qualms about going to their house. I didn't find her "presence" a problem at all. I know this really upsets a lot of people, but quite honestly I don't have any guilt or remorse about what I do with her husband. I'm not trying to take him away from his family. If she ever found out and rang me and asked me, I would tell her the truth, but I would never do anything to reveal the affair to her. I have no reason to. Summer Breeze and Silly Girl know where I'm coming from - what I try to get across with my posts is that not all OW are obsessed with the BS, and what their MM and BS get up to, and whether they're having sex or not, and when and if the MM is going to leave, blah blah blah. And I know this is unpalatable to a lot of people on this forum, but some OW are not sorry or remorseful or ever "see the error of their ways" ... some of us like the situation we are in and wouldnt want it any other way. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Some people obviously find it so very difficult to understand, that I have no interest at all in his wife. I don't want her husband full time, just sometimes when it suits me, so i'm not in competition with her. She is an abstract concept to me. I have never asked about her, we don't discuss her when we're together, I'm really not interested in her at all. I didn't feel any qualms about going to their house. I didn't find her "presence" a problem at all. I know this really upsets a lot of people, but quite honestly I don't have any guilt or remorse about what I do with her husband. I'm not trying to take him away from his family. If she ever found out and rang me and asked me, I would tell her the truth, but I would never do anything to reveal the affair to her. I have no reason to. Summer Breeze and Silly Girl know where I'm coming from - what I try to get across with my posts is that not all OW are obsessed with the BS, and what their MM and BS get up to, and whether they're having sex or not, and when and if the MM is going to leave, blah blah blah. And I know this is unpalatable to a lot of people on this forum, but some OW are not sorry or remorseful or ever "see the error of their ways" ... some of us like the situation we are in and wouldnt want it any other way. I get that she's an "abstract concept" to you. I'm curious though...would it change your view if she was suddenly no longer so abstract? Do you believe it would change anything if she called you shattered and in tears from her discovery of what was going on? Or would you consider it his problem, and continue in the same fashion? Have you ever considered the outcome of what would happen when/if she were to find out? Not attacking you here...curious about your mindset around all of this. Link to post Share on other sites
whathesaid Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Do you OW scratch? Even a little? Or wear more than normal perfume, leave things in cars or anything like that? Do you ever ask about the W during foreplay or sex? If most OW are like mine then they have more class than you are giving them credit for. My OW has never left a physical mark on me nor has she left things behind in an attempt to cause a D-day. She has loved me and been supportive of me and patient with me. She is a woman of refinement and distinction. Because she is who she is, she would never consider behaving in such a manner. I admitted my affair to my wife. My OW would have never thought to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
frenchiefun Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I get that she's an "abstract concept" to you. I'm curious though...would it change your view if she was suddenly no longer so abstract? Do you believe it would change anything if she called you shattered and in tears from her discovery of what was going on? Or would you consider it his problem, and continue in the same fashion? Have you ever considered the outcome of what would happen when/if she were to find out? Not attacking you here...curious about your mindset around all of this. If she found out and confronted me, I would stop seeing him, if only for a while, to give them a chance to sort it out. I have no idea what the result would be, whether she would want the marriage to end, or to keep the marriage going as long as he ended the affair. I consider that he is the one having the affair, not me, as I'm not married, so the responsibility for any fallout from the discovery of the affair rests on his shoulders. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I consider that he is the one having the affair, not me, as I'm not married, so the responsibility for any fallout from the discovery of the affair rests on his shoulders. That is such a mental cop out. You know what you are doing. You just don't want to face it. Link to post Share on other sites
trinity1 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 (edited) I get that she's an "abstract concept" to you. I'm curious though...would it change your view if she was suddenly no longer so abstract? Do you believe it would change anything if she called you shattered and in tears from her discovery of what was going on? Or would you consider it his problem, and continue in the same fashion? Have you ever considered the outcome of what would happen when/if she were to find out? Not attacking you here...curious about your mindset around all of this. I had a fling once with a guy who had a girlfriend. It never came to anything and it wasn't really serious on my part, but we were fooling around a bit. I had met her, and knew who she was. She called me up, devastated, when she found out and tried to talk me out of it. I was young and hardheaded and determined to live my life and enjoy myself. I said sure you can come and talk to me but it won't make me change my ways. She set up a time for meeting me but then canceled in the last minute, saying she realized it wouldn't have an impact on me. I soon got tired of her boyfriend and moved on. They have been married for decades now and have children together. Edited March 17, 2011 by trinity1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rose1977 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I get that she's an "abstract concept" to you. I'm curious though...would it change your view if she was suddenly no longer so abstract? Do you believe it would change anything if she called you shattered and in tears from her discovery of what was going on? Or would you consider it his problem, and continue in the same fashion? Have you ever considered the outcome of what would happen when/if she were to find out? Not attacking you here...curious about your mindset around all of this. Owl, you usually asl exactly what I am about to LOL... get out of my brain! I am also genuinely curious about this. I am not bashing you at all frenchiefun, I am just trying to get a better idea of your mindet because - well, because I am genuinely interested in differet ways of thinking. I could be very wrong here, but I think some OW choose to think of the wife as an abstract concept in order to avoid feeling guilt. I choose to believe in this world that most people are genuinely good people with the capability to feel empathy / sympathy / guilt, etc.... In my situation, I ended up hospitalized b/c of the physical and emotional symptoms after Dday. Some would say that makes me weak, I don't know if that's true. I was devastated. In all honesty, my bf was to blame for what I went through, but as an OW, would you have any guilt if a similar situation happened with your MM? Or if his kids ended up really hurt by the A? I'm really not attacking at all, and there is no right or wrong answer. I honest;y feel that the responsility of the outfall from Dday lies with the H, but as a woman, I would have a hard time living with myself knowing that I played a part in hurting someone so horribly, especially with children involved. Link to post Share on other sites
frenchiefun Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 That is such a mental cop out. You know what you are doing. You just don't want to face it. You're right GG - I do know exactly what I'm doing - I'm having great sex with someone else's husband and have been doing it for some years now. Exactly what am I not facing? I'm not going to pretend to feel guilty and remorseful over what I'm doing and what could happen, just because you and others on here don't like my attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 You're right GG - I do know exactly what I'm doing - I'm having great sex with someone else's husband and have been doing it for some years now. Exactly what am I not facing? I'm not going to pretend to feel guilty and remorseful over what I'm doing and what could happen, just because you and others on here don't like my attitude. I'm curious. You sound proud of this. Are you proud to be an other woman? Link to post Share on other sites
frenchiefun Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I'm curious. You sound proud of this. Are you proud to be an other woman? No I wouldn't say I'm proud to be one, but I'm not ashamed of it either. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 No I wouldn't say I'm proud to be one, but I'm not ashamed of it either. Thank you for your honesty. so then you are not uncomfortable in real life telling people your boyfriend is married to someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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