frenchiefun Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Owl, you usually asl exactly what I am about to LOL... get out of my brain! I am also genuinely curious about this. I am not bashing you at all frenchiefun, I am just trying to get a better idea of your mindet because - well, because I am genuinely interested in differet ways of thinking. I could be very wrong here, but I think some OW choose to think of the wife as an abstract concept in order to avoid feeling guilt. I choose to believe in this world that most people are genuinely good people with the capability to feel empathy / sympathy / guilt, etc.... In my situation, I ended up hospitalized b/c of the physical and emotional symptoms after Dday. Some would say that makes me weak, I don't know if that's true. I was devastated. In all honesty, my bf was to blame for what I went through, but as an OW, would you have any guilt if a similar situation happened with your MM? Or if his kids ended up really hurt by the A? I'm really not attacking at all, and there is no right or wrong answer. I honest;y feel that the responsility of the outfall from Dday lies with the H, but as a woman, I would have a hard time living with myself knowing that I played a part in hurting someone so horribly, especially with children involved. MM was the one who initiated the affair. He actively pursued me for months. Earlier on in the relationship I gave him every opportunity to change his mind, but he didnt. He has always been the one who has wanted the affair to continue. I made it very clear to him that if the whole thing went pear shaped, he was the one who had to deal with it, not me. I would never want his wife and kids to ever know about the affair, and I would be upset if they did. However, I honestly believe that as he is the married one in this situation, who initiated and insisted on continuing the affair, then the responsibility lies with him. I'm sorry you had such a rough time with your breakup. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonah Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 I admitted my affair to my wife. My OW would have never thought to do so. May I ask why? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonah Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 You're right GG - I do know exactly what I'm doing - I'm having great sex with someone What all do you like about this guy? Do you think that his being married spices up the sex some? Link to post Share on other sites
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