For those of you who know my story: Here's the "break up" letter I sent

[dolphinsunshyn]

Well, if you have been following my posts..."Games guys play" or "playing games & getting scared" you know what I've been going through.

 

I decided to move on. Jenny had given a few ideas to other posters a while back on writing a good "break up" letter. I thought it sounded good and wrote it down just in case I ever need it. Good thing. I put a few little twists of my own.

 

Let me know if this was too little, too much, too polite, ect. I'm curious about what it sounds like to others. I think it is polite and leaves the door open without seeming like I'm desperate or just waiting around. Tell me what you think.

 

Here it is.......

 

It is unfortunate that you were not able to pay me the respect of answering my e-mail. I would like to be with someone who is able to express himself in a couragous and mature manner. It doesn't seem like you are capable of that at this time.

 

I have never considered myself the kind of girl who chases. Clearly, you haven't shown interest in even maintaing a friendship. Although it saddens me to loose what we have built, Iife goes on even without you. So, I'll give you the space that you need for as long as you want it. I wish things could have worked out differently, but the weariness of the wait would prohibit me from finding someone who can appreciate me, respect me, and see all of the good qualities that I have to offer.

 

Please know that I have deeply enjoyed the pleasure of your company. I have no ill feelings toward you at all. Maybe with some time, you would even be willing to give it another chance with us. My promises to you still hold true. But, you'll have to contact me if that is what you want. I'm going to leave you alone so you have a chance to clear your head. You know where to find me and you know that I will always care.

 

Watch your mailbox sometime in the next week or so. I had some items that I had bought you a while ago to give you when we saw each other next. But, a month has already gone by and enlight of the situation now, it doesn't look as though we will be seeing each other anytime soon. So, I'm just going to send them to you. I can't take them back now so just enjoy.

 

If we don't talk again before my baby arrives, wish me luck! I'm gonna need it!

 

I hope you find what you are looking for. You are a great guy and you deserve all of the happiness in the world. My heart will be with you now and always. Best wishes.

 

Opinions please......

[Pebbles59]

is it his baby?

[dolphinsunshyn]

Originally posted by Pebbles59

is it his baby?

 

No. The "dad" took off when I told him and isn't involved at all. That a whole other story in itself, but I haven't talked to him in over 4 months.

 

This guy came along and didn't mind that I was pregnant. That is one reason why I thought he was so special. He was willing to take me, extra baggage and all. I had not planned on dating anyone when we met and was ready to give up on guys all together. So, we started off as friends and took things slow. But, he swept me off of my feet and things seemed to click with us. We fell in love and that is when he got scared and confused.

[Fedup&givingup]

Dolphin,

 

That is SO sad! I am sorry that the father of your HIS child did that. The father of my son hasn't been in the picture either (the last time he called was on his 5th birthday, and that was well over 4 years ago). You are a BRAVE woman for going through your pregnancy without him. Do you have a support system?

 

 

As for this other guy, I am very sorry about that too. However, like I've said, the guy came clean and was honest. That shows integrity on his part.

 

My guess is that this new guy walking out was like Prince Charming compared to the sh*t that walked out on you upon finding out you were pregnant. This other guy has been very romanticized.

 

Try to say focussed on YOU, and what you will be having in the next few months. Your life will change dramatically, and you will have your baby to focus on.

 

Your letter was good, but I wouldn't expect anything in return. He made it clear that he wants to roam...let him run freely. In your letter, you made yourself available to him in the event that he wants to come back.

 

Again, try to move forward...you've got something wonderful to look forward to very soon!

[Arabess]

I think it's a GREAT letter if you want to make sure to leave the door open and not burn any bridges. I'm sure you having a baby weighs on a guy's mind, even though he is not the biological father. It may be why he ran scared.

 

I hope he comes back so you don't have to face having a baby alone. You ARE getting financial support from the birth father aren't you? You don't have to answer.....just make sure to take care of it because it's expensive to raise a child.

 

Again, I like the letter.

[dolphinsunshyn]

Thank you Fedup & Arabess. I really appreciate the support and reassurance.

 

As far as the "father" I'm not getting any support from him. He couldn't even call me back to give me his family's medical information so the doctor know what to test for. He is a piece of sh*t. I haven't talked to him and I don't want him to be a part of this baby's life. He isn't mature enough and I don't think he is capable of being a good parent or role model.

 

Financially, I can't do anything until a DNA test is done after the birth. But, I plan to go after child support as long as he doesn't want any kind of custody. Since he hasn't been there from the begining, I don't think he will; but you never know. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him. He is VERY immature and a pathalogical liar. I would rather deal with it on my own then put my baby in that situation. When I first told him I was pregnant, he insisted that I have an abortion. When I refused, he dissappeared. The couple of times I did talk to him, he would make comments about a "home" abortion in my sleep (performed by him) or about stressing me out enough to cause a miscarriage. After that, I was convinced he wasn't right in the head and no longer wanted to deal with the psycho.

 

I have a way of pickin' the good ones, don't I!! LOL

 

I got pregnant the first month we were together. I was on the pill AND we used condoms. I broke up with him by the end of the second month because he was just too immature and I caught him lying a couple of times. He wanted to work it out and said he would change, ect. I later found out I was pregnant and told him. Needless to say, he didn't want to work it out anymore after that.

 

So, I'm going at it alone. I'm scared to death and I know it will be hard, but I have a great support system. My family has done a lot to help me.

 

One of these times, I should share my "week of hell" with you. It was the same week I found out I was pregnant. You would believe the sh*t I went through, but I survived and I'm stronger for it!

 

This last guy was "prince charming" compared to the "dad". As much as it hurts now, I don't regret putting my heart on the line. I really did enjoy the time I spent with him. I just should have trusted my instints and not got involved in the first place and just stayed friends with him. No more dating for me -- at least for a while.

 

Thanks again!! Love you all!

[Darkangelism]

Wow it sucks that you got preg on the pill and condoms. But i think you can handle the challenges and will find a guy that won't mind the baggage.

[dolphinsunshyn]

Yeah, I did everything to prevent the pregancy, but it still happened. That is why I knew I should keep it. It is one and a million chance so obviously it was meant to be. Or at least I took it as such. I think it was fate. Especially since I found out I was pregnant the week my Grandpa passed away. He and I shared the same birthday and were reallt close. They say that deaths and births coienside.

 

As hard as it will be; she is truly a gift from God. And I'm very thankful for it.

 

At least genetically she has something going for her. Although the "dad" is an ASSCLOWN (thanks Arabess), he is REALLY good-looking! LOL

 

She is due on June 6th. I'm naming her Kelsey Leigh. I know she'll be light of my life.

[Darkangelism]

thats a pretty name. If her dad is good looking and with those eyes of yours she should have no problem there.

[Fedup&givingup]

Dolphin,

 

I'm glad to hear you have a good support system. I can tell by your latest posts you are in good spirits, and you are thinking about the future you have with your baby.

 

Men will come and go, but you will have your child for life.

 

I do believe everything happens for a reason, and your baby was definitely meant to be...she's a gift. Right now, she might be all you need. The father might give you a hard time once she's born, you are right. I feel that not having anything to do with you for the sake of the baby has to do with abandonment just like it would if the baby were alive and he had nothing to do with her.

 

You hang in there!!!!! Keep us informed