LoveBug1989 Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 One of the things I'm having a difficult time dealing with is the fact that I lost my virginity to a guy who abandoned me and is getting on with his life. Becoming intimate with him was a huge hurdle for me; we didn't start to get intimate until about 4 months into the relationship. It felt completely right at the time and I was very comfortable with him. Now that he's dumped me (twice) and this time for good, I feel ashamed even though I know I shouldn't. I can't even picture myself right now having sexual relations with another man. I thought my ex-boyfriend was "the" one, and I'm really not one for waiting until marriage to have sex. It just felt right at the time, but now that he's left me I'm starting to doubt my sense of "right". Has anyone else felt this way and gotten over it? Do men usually care if their partner is not a virgin? Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 I'm sorry to hear your story, virginity is a big deal to some guys, it was to me, just the thought of my ex having somebody after me killed me, I loved being her first for everything and the fact we had a kid aswell was very special to me, I'm sure somewhere deep down that he's not showing you, I'm sure it means something to him. Link to post Share on other sites
ResetReality Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 Sorry to hear this, some guys really do only care about one thing, There is not much you can do now really is there? All you can take from this is experience, and that's all it is, rebuild yourself, concentrate on you and LEARN from it Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 One of the things I'm having a difficult time dealing with is the fact that I lost my virginity to a guy who abandoned me and is getting on with his life. Becoming intimate with him was a huge hurdle for me; we didn't start to get intimate until about 4 months into the relationship. It felt completely right at the time and I was very comfortable with him. Now that he's dumped me (twice) and this time for good, I feel ashamed even though I know I shouldn't. I can't even picture myself right now having sexual relations with another man. I thought my ex-boyfriend was "the" one, and I'm really not one for waiting until marriage to have sex. It just felt right at the time, but now that he's left me I'm starting to doubt my sense of "right". Has anyone else felt this way and gotten over it? Do men usually care if their partner is not a virgin? You are saying all the things I WANT to hear from a young woman who can no longer be 'with' her first intercourse partner... but obviously you just don't understand what they ARE! With this, you've been very clear on your decision-making process, and about how you felt at the time you made the choices involved. I simply don't want to be concerned with how you look BACK at your results in hindsight, because that is just evidence of your being unfair to yourself. (and if you think that dress makes your butt look huge... being UNFAIR TO YOURSELF makes you look a lot worse ) From this moment forward, I want you to rewind the tape and start giving yourself CREDIT for the reasoning and the consideration you gave to the choice you had back then. You made a decision that was best for you at the time based on the information and feelings you had available to you when making the decision. I don't even care what your decision was, given such circumstances - I just want to know that you reasoned your way through the choices and decided for yourself at the time. Do not ruin your life with second guessing in hindsight. Nowthen, with that out of the way... let me add that it is very fair that it may take TIME for you to start feeling better about the idea of continuing your love/sex life. Just give yourself more of that needed time. You invested yourself properly in someone, and you really can't be penalized for him, independently, not being right for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 you'll get over it. It just takes time. After my break up I couldn't get an erection at all, but now i get one every time i see a cosmetology girl. That sucks too, because our school has a ton of them. It just takes time. You'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
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