Please help!!

[marriagesucks]

Hi everyone. Im new here. Ive been married for a year and 5 months. And I have problems in my marriage. Here is an extremely long story made totally short. My marrieage has invloved verbal abuse (him being the abuser first and me being the abuser later in time), physical abuse (i had to defend myself), emotional abuse (he has admitted to purposely using reverse psycology on me, and purposely misleading or manipulating me), we both threatened to leave each other, we both cheated on each other, he asked me to have a threesome with him and his best friend 2 weeks after I gave birth to our daughter, we fought over that. We dont trust each other. He blantantly flirts with other females, in ways he shouldnt, in front of me. When I confronted him about it soon after it happened, he lied to me about it and made it seem like I was seeing things and told me I needed help. He has said he wanted to make effort to make our marriage work and never followed through. He's less interested in sex and so am I. If made effort to try to reapir our marriage, he never seems intrested. Im short on patience with him. Im becomong short on patience with else as well, such as our 11 month old daughter, our family, and our co workers. Marriage counseling failed us after 3 seesions. We argued and fought more. My thoughts and feelings are all jumbled. I cant make sense of them, i cant make sense of his actions nor his words. I feel used. Not once has he said he didnt want to get a divorce becuase he loved me. When I asked him, he said "wouldnt it be nice to have someone help you pay your bills?" He once said to me after I asked "why doyou hesitate to tell me you love me?" he said "because i dont want to feel like im wasting my time saying something i dont mean." Im scared of the transition from being married to being single, i dont want to be a single mom, i love him and hope he changes, but i cant stand all the heartache that comes along with waiting. Someone please help. I need advice and emotional support. My mom is out of the picture because al she says is "i told you so". Im not close enough to any of my other family members, and my friends dont know what to say.

[agnf666]

I think you two need to have a serious talk, becuase all you two seem to do is fight. That is not good for your marriage. I think you should consider a sepration or divorce. It maybe a very smart move, considering you two don't get along at all. I know the thought of being a single mother can be scary but imagine if you too stay together and continue fighting infront of your child. Nowadays, there are alot of single parents. It's hard but you could manage, if your marraige is that bad that may be the best thing to do since the marriage counseling didn't work. Was things this way when you got married??

[single girl again?]

Do you & your child a favour - move on, alone, get a counsellor and take care of yourselves!!!

[dixiepix]

The place you are, I have been, it is an awful place to live. I was in that marriage for 4 years. We did marriage counciling, Because he told me I was Crazy (misinterpreting his words) I sought personal counseling, He was ordered to anger management classes. Nothing helped. I too loved this man even though he told me regularly he hated me and wished he'd never married me. We too had a toddler daughter. Get out before it is too late. I sought counseling from everywhere including professionals and clergy. The bottom line was that it was my responsibility to take care of myself and daughter before one of us killed the other. Of course that would lend the other in prison. Where would your daughter go? Use any and all asset and friends to get out of this mess. You'll be surprised what a burden has been lifted 6 months from now. I did it and that was 10 years ago. I can't imagine having stayed.