Do women really have that many options?

[EasyHeart]

If you want to look at it broadly enough, I suppose you could say that all men have infinite options, since we can ask out any woman that we want to ask, while women (generally) only have options from among the men that ask them out.

[GivenUp0083]

Seriously - you guys...

 

The biggest difference between how men and women approach the question of "options" in this thread goes as follows.

 

Women think an option has "quality" on its side. We don't think getting hit on in a bar by a guy looking to hookup that night is actually that much of an option. Actually, most of us think it isn't an option at all.

 

It would be nice if you at least aknowledged that there is a difference in semantics, and that yours is not necessarily the "right one". Not saying ours is the right one either - just that this seems to me like an interesting area for a real dialogue.

 

If anything, our differing views on what constitutes an option should give you cues as to why you can expect so much rejection when cold approaching. We just don't take it seriously. And since Givenup himself consider "options" = "opportunity to get laid", while women consideer "options" = "potential for relationship", then I would say we relationship-focused people are right not to take bar-approaches seriously.

 

That's fine, but sex to men is just as important to relationships to women. Women say that sex is just as important to women as men, but it's not. Men need to get off, we pretty much HAVE to masturbate to release on a regular basis.

 

Here's where my point comes in as well: Women can get what they want from a man in terms of a date, time spent, doing favors, anything....as long as she dangles the slight chance in front of a man that he might get laid. Men can't pull that off, not in a hundred years.

 

 

And I repeat, what we women in this thread are trying to point out is this:

 

We don't think an option is the opportunity to have sex.

 

Gah. This is so frustrating. Could at least one of you guys aknowledge the difference instead of dismissing it?

 

 

Frustrating? Must be frustrating to go online, put a pretty picture up, write a few sentences about yourself with minimal effort, then get 100 emails of men who are willing to take you out to dinner on their dime. Must be rough to go out with them and then decide they aren't good enough for your relationship criteria. Women have that option. Men do not.

[PJKino]

 

To those of you men who are being rejected by 90% of the women you approach: You're doing it wrong!. I've never kept stats, but generally if I ask, I get a "Yes". But I'm very picky about who I ask out.

 

.

 

It doesnt necassarily mean your doing anything wrong except the women is not attracted to you and no matter what you did wouldnt change that

[EasyHeart]

Here's where my point comes in as well: Women can get what they want from a man in terms of a date, time spent, doing favors, anything....as long as she dangles the slight chance in front of a man that he might get laid. Men can't pull that off, not in a hundred years.

And men string along women for months and years by pretending to want a relationship. There are plenty of users of BOTH genders.

[Eeyore79]

Every woman I have approached in the past 15 or so years, I've wanted a relationship with.

 

I think you are really stretching by saying that men who approach average girls only want sex from them.

 

Women do get approached for relationships - but they get approached for sex a heck of a lot more often. You want a relationship, so if you approach ten women, all ten of those approaches are relationship-oriented. A woman may also have received ten relationship-oriented approaches, but she also received a whole load of approaches for sex on top of that, which she doesn't want. So while she may get approached a lot more often, the majority of the approaches aren't for a relationship; she probably has roughly the same number of relationship opportunities as you do. And I'm still not convinced that unattractive girls get approached that often anyway; you're talking about a minority of pretty girls who get approached all the time.

[somedude81]

And men string along women for months and years by pretending to want a relationship. There are plenty of users of BOTH genders.

Very few men can pull this off. Usually those men are in very high demand.

 

Then the girl has to be pretty gullible to let a man string her along for months.

 

Women do get approached for relationships - but they get approached for sex a heck of a lot more often. You want a relationship, so if you approach ten women, all ten of those approaches are relationship-oriented. A woman may also have received ten relationship-oriented approaches, but she also received a whole load of approaches for sex on top of that, which she doesn't want. So while she may get approached a lot more often, the majority of the approaches aren't for a relationship; she probably has roughly the same number of relationship opportunities as you do.

First of all, how does a girl know a guy is approaching her just for sex or for a relationship? BTW, lets throw out all bar/club and obviously sleazy approaches.

 

Out of all the ones that are left, how would she know if the guy wants to date her, or just sleep with her?

 

And I'm still not convinced that unattractive girls get approached that often anyway; you're talking about a minority of pretty girls who get approached all the time.

No, I'm talking about average girls. Not pretty girls or unattractive girls. I'm talking about girls 5 and up.

 

Don't take it too seriously. But it's a good idea.

 

One reason why women may not get approached that often is because guys don't like getting rejected. Usually when a guy approaches an average girl, it means that he is interested in her and he'll also care about the outcome.

 

While pretty girls may also get approached by guys who are interested they also get approached by guys who really don't think they have a chance at all so they don't care about the outcome. In other words, I can approach a super hot girl and not care if I'm going to get rejected by her, because I know that she's going to reject me. It doesn't even really care as trying.

[Imajerk17]

I get that women are looking for a relationship, and that casual sex is not an option for you. You said you wanted at least one guy to acknowledge this and I do. That said...I wrote this post for the women who are trying to get into *relationships*, to take a look at how they are handling *their end* of things:

 

It really seems that so many women don't seem to be willing to take enough responsibility for their dating lives. It's not rocket science, it's more about basic cause-and-effect. You complain about the wrong guys writing you online but are you willing to send the first email to the right guys? You complain about how the guys who approach you are too young/too old, but have you ever thought of *at least* smiling at the men you would like to meet? You bucket all of the guys who approach you in the supermarket as either "just looking for sex" or "no chemistry" (after a 2-minute interaction). Well...

 

Newsflash: When we approach you, 90% of the time, all we are saying is that we noticed you and want to find out more about you, and we hope you like us enough to want to see us again. That's pretty much it. Every friend you have was a stranger you met at some point. You're shooting yourselves in the foot by trying to figure out whether he wants sex or a relationship, after a first conversation with a guy. Also, there are a lot of great guys out there who aren't good at starting conversations with a woman they don't know. It probably means that they aren't players out trying to meet a lot of women. Why not give him the benefit of the doubt for caring enough to approach you, and meet him for coffee anyway? You can screen out most of the users fairly easily that way.

 

I also think a lot of the women on here (maybe you the reader?) also have these crazy screening mechanisms that don't really work. Some of you seem to worship at the altar of "Chemistry". You are giving guys chances when there are red flags all over the place, but you won't go on a second date with someone whom you had a good time with and who seems like a good guy, but there was "not enough sparks" on the first date. It's like you feel that your life has to be this grand romantic chemistry or something.

 

To sum up, I'd like the ladies on here who aren't happy with their dating lives to think about whether they are really taking enough responsibility for it, and whether their strategies for meeting and screening men really make sense.

Edited March 11, 2011 by Imajerk17

[fishtaco]

I think another big difference between what the women here consider options and the men, is that men think that we women have an option every single time we're approached; whereas I can honestly that I discount up to 90% of the approaches, simply because it'll be clear to me that 1) the guy isn't specifically interested in me or 2) is way too drunk to be taken seriously 3) is only looking to get laid and 4) is perhaps looking for an ego boost. In other words, I hardly ever consider a guy who hits on me in a bar to be an option.

 

I don't think so. At least that's not what I was talking about.

 

90% gets rejected, fine. That means as a man, when I ask women, I'll get rejected 90% of the time too. Which actually sounds about right.

 

Method #1, being the initiator:

- So given a fixed period of time, I ask out 10 women. 1 will say yes.

- I expect if a woman asks out 10 men, 1 will say yes as well (because we're not talking about sex, we're talking about relationship, sex only, I'd expect the percentage to be much higher).

 

Method #2, being passive and get asked out:

This is out of our control, we can only sit around and wait.

- Man sits around, gets asked out once every couple of years. Rejection rate is the same, at 90%, so it takes about 20 years.

- Woman sits around, gets asked out once every couple of months (which is what you said happened to you), rejection rate is the same, at 90%, so it takes about 20 months.

 

So again, method #1 is a wash. Method #2, women win. All this is taking into account the 90% rejection rate. Only difference being, during the same time period that the average guy asks 10 women out, the average women won't ask 10 men out. But again like I said, why not? That's a self inflicted limitation.

 

As a man, I would need to increase the frequency of method #2, but, there's nothing you can do about. You can't control other people to ask you out. If there's a way I can get random women to ask me out once every two months, please!!! let me know.

[MrNate]

I tend to find these gender-bashing threads tedious.

 

Unless you're living in some place that has a strange population distribution, there are roughly the same number of men and women in the world. That means we have roughly the same amount of options. Rapidly increasing or decreasing birth rates in your birth year may have some effect (declining rates favor women, increasing rates favor men), but it's not a huge effect. That means that men and women have roughly the same number of "options".

 

Since men (esp. younger ones) are more likely to be sex-only oriented and women are more likely to be relationship oriented, it's probably more likely that women have an easier time finding NSA sex and men have an easier time finding relationships.

 

Obviously, physically attractive people (male or female) are going to have more options than less attractive people. But that's got nothing to do with gender.

 

To those of you men who are being rejected by 90% of the women you approach: You're doing it wrong!. I've never kept stats, but generally if I ask, I get a "Yes". But I'm very picky about who I ask out.

 

Women are obviously going to have more "options" in the sense that they can be fairly passive and still get asked out, while men need to make much more effort. But as several women have pointed out, the men who ask them out are not necessarily desirable. From talking to my female friends, I'm very happy I don't have to put up with unattractive people constantly hitting on me. One of my F friends is currently trying to deal with an office crush who won't back down no matter how many times she says "No". I met my current GF a few months ago when she waited on me in a restaurant. She gets hit on at least once a day, so I suppose some of you might say she has lots of "options". But she's only gone out with one customer: me. That's because the others were not options to her.

 

I've said this many times before, but the reason both sides are wrong in these gender battles is because you're using different definitions:

 

When men say "women", they mean a lingerie supermodel who worships the ground they walk on.

When men say "men", they mean themselves.

 

When women say "men", they mean the guy who play QB in college and inherited his dad's business.

When women say "women", they mean themselves.

 

I would concede to women based on whats written above. We men can say what we want but in all honesty, how often are you hit on by creepy, repulsive women? Based on this alone, I would say in the end, all figures work themselves out to be roughly even.

 

Men have a LOT more power than they give themselves credit for. However, this involves seeing yourself as the selector (go figure, which most of us fall under) and not the selectee.

 

By the way, I would consider an option to be someone who is interested in me period. It makes it easier on my brain

[Imajerk17]

Also, Kamille,

 

Getting back to what I was saying about thinking of your strategies, and what fishtaco is saying, why are you and/or other women hanging out in bars in the first place? Go back and reread what you wrote in fishtaco's post. You're hanging out in a place (a bar) where you know your chances of meeting a good guy who will give you what you want are slim. That's a crazy strategy, is it not?

[Kamille]

Women do get approached for relationships - but they get approached for sex a heck of a lot more often. You want a relationship, so if you approach ten women, all ten of those approaches are relationship-oriented. A woman may also have received ten relationship-oriented approaches, but she also received a whole load of approaches for sex on top of that, which she doesn't want. So while she may get approached a lot more often, the majority of the approaches aren't for a relationship; she probably has roughly the same number of relationship opportunities as you do. And I'm still not convinced that unattractive girls get approached that often anyway; you're talking about a minority of pretty girls who get approached all the time.

 

Yes, this is my point.

 

First of all, how does a girl know a guy is approaching her just for sex or for a relationship? BTW, lets throw out all bar/club and obviously sleazy approaches.

 

Out of all the ones that are left, how would she know if the guy wants to date her, or just sleep with her?

 

 

I'm willing to bet that if we throw out all bar/club approaches, then the options actually even out. When I was single, I was pro-active at flirting with people in my extended circle of friends. I would flirt with men who would flirt back, but never asked me out. I even asked out a few of those men, with the results posted yesterday (2 said no, 3 said yes.)

 

The whole premise that women are passive is wrong.

 

By the way, Imajerk, I am happy - and you'll be happy to know I met bf at the equivalent of bar. I spotted him, thought he was attractive, smiled at him and he came to talk to me. We still tease each other, to this day, about who made it happen, since, really, I was the one who spotted him and sent signals, while he was the one who approached me.

 

Maybe that's another misperception that explains the high rejection rates and the angst you guys seem to feel about it. I know some say: she gave me all the signals! But, how often are you out on the prowl, versus trying to figure out who's sending you signals?

[Kamille]

Also, Kamille,

 

Getting back to what I was saying about thinking of your strategies, and what fishtaco is saying, why are you and/or other women hanging out in bars in the first place? Go back and reread what you wrote in fishtaco's post. You're hanging out in a place (a bar) where you know your chances of meeting a good guy who will give you what you want are slim. That's a crazy strategy, is it not?

 

Bf is the first guy I met in a bar. I am not unhappy (quite the opposite) and my techniques have always worked for me. Before bf, I usually met men through my social networks.

 

Believe it or not, I'm not talking about myself. I'm frustrated at the deeply held belief that women have more options. To me, as I've stated elsewhere, not only is it ludicrous to think so, I feel that it actually disempowers men.

[fortyninethousand322]

Believe it or not, I'm not talking about myself. I'm frustrated at the deeply held belief that women have more options. To me, as I've stated elsewhere, not only is it ludicrous to think so, I feel that it actually disempowers men.

 

I'd venture to say that it disempowers pessimists of both sexes. A pessimistic man will look at it and say "well it's easier for women, so no wonder I'm having no success". Meanwhile a pessimistic woman will say: "I'm a woman, it's supposed to be easier for me but I still have no success. I must be really bad if I don't have a lot of options".

 

People with healthy self confidence don't care if one sex or another has more options. They just go out there and do what they do best.

[Leeway Harris]

When men say "women", they mean a lingerie supermodel who worships the ground they walk on.

When men say "men", they mean themselves.

 

When women say "men", they mean the guy who play QB in college and inherited his dad's business.

When women say "women", they mean themselves.

 

I like this. It rings true for a lot of the posts around here.

[GivenUp0083]

And men string along women for months and years by pretending to want a relationship. There are plenty of users of BOTH genders.

 

It's not the same upon initial meeting or connection though. Once INTO the dating process or reciprocated initial interest, then yes, it's a level playing field of leading on. But right off the bad, never met before, just crossing paths for the first time....women have more options.

 

I get that women are looking for a relationship, and that casual sex is not an option for you. You said you wanted at least one guy to acknowledge this and I do. That said...I wrote this post for the women who are trying to get into *relationships*, to take a look at how they are handling *their end* of things:

 

It really seems that so many women don't seem to be willing to take enough responsibility for their dating lives. It's not rocket science, it's more about basic cause-and-effect. You complain about the wrong guys writing you online but are you willing to send the first email to the right guys? You complain about how the guys who approach you are too young/too old, but have you ever thought of *at least* smiling at the men you would like to meet? You bucket all of the guys who approach you in the supermarket as either "just looking for sex" or "no chemistry" (after a 2-minute interaction). Well...

 

Newsflash: When we approach you, 90% of the time, all we are saying is that we noticed you and want to find out more about you, and we hope you like us enough to want to see us again. That's pretty much it. Every friend you have was a stranger you met at some point. You're shooting yourselves in the foot by trying to figure out whether he wants sex or a relationship, after a first conversation with a guy. Also, there are a lot of great guys out there who aren't good at starting conversations with a woman they don't know. It probably means that they aren't players out trying to meet a lot of women. Why not give him the benefit of the doubt for caring enough to approach you, and meet him for coffee anyway? You can screen out most of the users fairly easily that way.

 

I also think a lot of the women on here (maybe you the reader?) also have these crazy screening mechanisms that don't really work. Some of you seem to worship at the altar of "Chemistry". You are giving guys chances when there are red flags all over the place, but you won't go on a second date with someone whom you had a good time with and who seems like a good guy, but there was "not enough sparks" on the first date. It's like you feel that your life has to be this grand romantic chemistry or something.

 

To sum up, I'd like the ladies on here who aren't happy with their dating lives to think about whether they are really taking enough responsibility for it, and whether their strategies for meeting and screening men really make sense.

 

Finally, someone calling it how it is in a constructive and respectful manner. You get points across so much better. I completely agree with everything you said.

 

I can identify with this because I went through some struggle during my year and a half of online dating. I made all the excuses in the world (I'm not tall, I'm not that good looking, I don't have a six pack, I'm not rich, all women are this, city girls are only that). It affected my attitude, it made me more paranoid of rejection, I kept attracting the same type of women who were dishonest and lacked even enough respect to tell me after 5 dates they didn't want to go out anymore. They'd just ignore me and it tore me apart.

 

Then I realized if I want things to change, I need to change. I saw a therapist, I had anxiety pains about it, he helped me look at dating from a new perspective, I took time off to think about what kind of woman I wanted to be with. Once I knew more about myself and what I wanted, I started finding ways to find those types of girls (nice, honest, caring women). 6 months later, found my current gf, been together 3 months but it feels like a year and I couldn't be happier. She's giving, honest, we communicate, our chemistry and sex life is awesome, we never fight, she has a great family and friends, we enjoy a lot of the same interests.

 

Part of me realizes I'm lucky, but I also realize it didn't come without a price, and I would've never found her if I didn't change myself first.

[PJKino]

I would concede to women based on whats written above. We men can say what we want but in all honesty, how often are you hit on by creepy, repulsive women? Based on this alone, I would say in the end, all figures work themselves out to be roughly even.

 

 

 

 

I would be flattered by women actually being attracted to me and get an ego boost and then politely turn her down i wouldnt think eww how dare this ugly women approach me..

 

People act like women should be cannonized for getting approached by Men who arent hot

[Untouchable_Fire]

Bf is the first guy I met in a bar. I am not unhappy (quite the opposite) and my techniques have always worked for me. Before bf, I usually met men through my social networks.

Believe it or not, I'm not talking about myself. I'm frustrated at the deeply held belief that women have more options. To me, as I've stated elsewhere, not only is it ludicrous to think so, I feel that it actually disempowers men.

 

I work in sales, and I believe the parallels are perfect.

 

When I worked in a retail setting... I had to sit around and just wait for customers to come to me. I had whole months where it was just broke losers and tire kickers. My sales sucked!

 

The company upgraded the store and put out more marketing and things improved greatly. However, I was still frustrated at the huge amount of downtime and my overall lack of control regarding my paycheck and options.

 

I switched to outside sales and the experience is totally different. At first it was really difficult because I was approaching people that may or may not be interested. I had to learn to deal with massive amounts of rejection, so I compensated by increasing my number of attempts. After a while I learned how to decrease my rejection rate. Today I am one of the best in my company.

 

Based on this... I am happier and more secure now that I can handle rejection. I control my dating options rather than being forced to sit and wait for what comes.

 

I don't really understand why women take the easy route. It forces them to constantly worry about their looks and social environment... additionally I find many are simply paralyzed by the idea of rejection and have zero idea how to deal with it. Since it's a part of life that just leads to lower self esteem.

[Imajerk17]

Bf is the first guy I met in a bar. I am not unhappy (quite the opposite) and my techniques have always worked for me. Before bf, I usually met men through my social networks.

 

Believe it or not, I'm not talking about myself. I'm frustrated at the deeply held belief that women have more options. To me, as I've stated elsewhere, not only is it ludicrous to think so, I feel that it actually disempowers men.

 

Very cool, and I salute you for being so proactive in your dating life. I will submit that you are something of a rarity amongst your gender, and I mean that as a compliment on you.

 

It is indeed a disempowering belief that men have, but it didn't come out of nowhere. The truth is, for better or worse, that women do most of the screening. The screening is fine and healthy, but I do hope that women examine whether the screening processes they use are actually good ones or not. They would also help their cause by being more proactive, as you yourself were especially when meeting your boyfriend.

 

And also, there is a thing called karma. On the one hand, I've been lucky enough to approach a few women who, even though it turns out they were married (I couldn't see their ring from the angle I approached from), they made me feel really good for coming over. It's like they understood where I was coming from. And they got that the next time I might see a girl who was single, and they were hoping that I would approach her as I did them. On the other, I've had women show a lot less consideration too.

 

My 2 cents as a guy...

[Imajerk17]

Finally, someone calling it how it is in a constructive and respectful manner. You get points across so much better. I completely agree with everything you said.

 

I can identify with this because I went through some struggle during my year and a half of online dating. I made all the excuses in the world (I'm not tall, I'm not that good looking, I don't have a six pack, I'm not rich, all women are this, city girls are only that). It affected my attitude, it made me more paranoid of rejection, I kept attracting the same type of women who were dishonest and lacked even enough respect to tell me after 5 dates they didn't want to go out anymore. They'd just ignore me and it tore me apart.

 

Then I realized if I want things to change, I need to change. I saw a therapist, I had anxiety pains about it, he helped me look at dating from a new perspective, I took time off to think about what kind of woman I wanted to be with. Once I knew more about myself and what I wanted, I started finding ways to find those types of girls (nice, honest, caring women). 6 months later, found my current gf, been together 3 months but it feels like a year and I couldn't be happier. She's giving, honest, we communicate, our chemistry and sex life is awesome, we never fight, she has a great family and friends, we enjoy a lot of the same interests.

 

Part of me realizes I'm lucky, but I also realize it didn't come without a price, and I would've never found her if I didn't change myself first.

 

Thanks man! And good for you for making those changes. That takes a lot of guts, as not that many people are willing to take responsibility for their lives like that.

 

I was not socially skilled growing up. I was actually rather awkward. I did not want this to be the story of my life. The past few years I made a point of meeting a lot of women, through approaching them in the supermarket (I hate bars) and online dating. I also developed myself in other ways by pushing myself, taking up cool hobbies, lifting weights, and yes, being a lot more conscientious of how I carry myself. I haven't met that special girl yet, but I am having fun looking. For the most part anyway...

[somedude81]

Believe it or not, I'm not talking about myself. I'm frustrated at the deeply held belief that women have more options. To me, as I've stated elsewhere, not only is it ludicrous to think so, I feel that it actually disempowers men.

OK, lets get this settled once and for all.

 

How many men have you gone on at least one date with?

 

How many relationships have you had?

 

I bet you, that your numbers and those of other women will be higher than 90% of the men here.

 

I've had about nine first "dates" and zero relationships. I'm 29.

Edited March 11, 2011 by somedude81

[PJKino]

OK, lets get this settled once and for all.

 

How many men have you gone on at least one date with?

 

How many relationships have you had?

 

I bet you, that your numbers and those of other women will be higher than 90% of the men here.

 

I've had about nine first "dates" and zero relationships. I'm 29.

 

lol you beat me im 30 and never been on a date

[Titania22]

OK, lets get this settled once and for all.

 

How many men have you gone on at least one date with?

 

How many relationships have you had?

 

I bet you, that your numbers and those of other women will be higher than 90% of the men here.

 

I've had about nine first "dates" and zero relationships. I'm 29.

 

Ok I don't remember the exact number of first dates I have had in life, but I had lots when I was younger, so I am going to go with around 20. I have had 2 LTR's and didn't go on a first date with either of them. So the sum total of my dating experience has never lead to an LTR.

[Paradise384]

I am a very attractive 27 year old (although I look 21) as are some of my friends. We have the most difficult time in the dating world I can't even imagine how hard it is for older, less attractive women. I am interested in maybe 1 out of every 200 men in my area. I am not picky by choice, I simply "feel it" with very few men. Technically men have more options---If men can go to a club, they have the option of approaching ANY women that they like, they just have to hope that she responds. However if you are going on the basis that women have to wait for guys to approach them, then we only have MAYBE a couple of options every time we go out and usually they are NOT anyone I am interested in. OR mostly no one approaches us and therefore we have ZERO options. So guys essentially have an entire club or bar full of options and women have maybe one or two if shes lucky...yea I dont see how guys think women have more options...

[somedude81]

Ok I don't remember the exact number of first dates I have had in life, but I had lots when I was younger, so I am going to go with around 20. I have had 2 LTR's and didn't go on a first date with either of them. So the sum total of my dating experience has never lead to an LTR.

None of the LTR's started with a date?

 

BTW I used date in quotation marks because I'm counting anything where I spent time with a girl who wasn't strictly a friend, and we did something together, as a date.

 

For example, something like meeting up with somebody, getting lunch then going clothes shopping qualifies as a date.

 

Now, recalculate your total

Edited March 12, 2011 by somedude81

[Sanman]

I am a very attractive 27 year old (although I look 21) as are some of my friends. We have the most difficult time in the dating world I can't even imagine how hard it is for older, less attractive women. I am interested in maybe 1 out of every 200 men in my area. I am not picky by choice, I simply "feel it" with very few men. Technically men have more options---If men can go to a club, they have the option of approaching ANY women that they like, they just have to hope that she responds. However if you are going on the basis that women have to wait for guys to approach them, then we only have MAYBE a couple of options every time we go out and usually they are NOT anyone I am interested in. OR mostly no one approaches us and therefore we have ZERO options. So guys essentially have an entire club or bar full of options and women have maybe one or two if shes lucky...yea I dont see how guys think women have more options...

 

Huh? Is your voice box unable to function unless spoken to first? Can you not go speak to man you are interested in? How do men have a bar full of options and women not? Is it because any woman in a bar automatically does it for a man, but most men are horrific and turn women off? Do you frequent the same bars as wayne brady? :laugh:

 

An option, by definition, requires the other person to have interest. What men have in a bar are possibilities...mostly unrealized ones.