Do women really have that many options?

[Kamille]

I didn't clarify orginally - but it soon became obvious that the male posters and the female posters do not have the same definition of option. At that point, I outlined that the women who participated on the thread feel an option is the opportunity to have a real date (potentially leading to a relationship), whereas the majority male poster seem to think an option is the opportunity to have sex. This clearly is why there is contention (and perhaps resentment) about who has more options.

 

That was a few pages back.

 

Somedude, to answer your question about relationships/dates: I have had more relationships than you but... Oh surprise, all these relationships were with men! Which suggests that if we're going to counting relationships and dates to see who has more options, than the only real answer is that when it comes to heterosexuals... We have the same options.

 

That being said: all my exes have had more relationships than me and when single would have dated more than me. Again, they did this with women, so it cancels out doesn't it?

[spackle]

Exactly my thoughts and I could not have put it better. Not only that but she has got to go through the process (passively) of differentiating between all these guys and their intentions.

 

+1 and I've had plenty of losers and weirdos and those looking for ONS approach me. To the point where I probably give out 'frosty' vibes while I'm out which in turn probably puts off the normal guys but doesn't phase the nutjobs!

[Kamille]

Well there really isn't any power in that

 

I think though what you mean is maybe, since we initiate we have the ability to approach any woman we like and as many as we like.

 

While women who are passive and waits for the guy to make the move, can only choose between the men who approach them.

 

They might not get approached by the guy they want, while we as men can choose to only approach women who we are intrested in.

 

Like for example.

 

A woman might get approached by 20 different men. And all of them are either players, drunks, losers, weirdos or guys just looking for a one night stand.

 

But a man can approach 20 different women, all of whom are of intrest to the him. And 1 of them might say yes. So then the guy has "succeded" better than the woman.

 

Well said Dr. Lector. I think this shows an understanding of what some of us have been trying to say.

 

Both men and women have power over their options. Both are also constrained by various factors.

[jane100]

I think that women do have the upper hand and the power over men when it comes to dating and relationships.

 

But men have it better in other aspects of life, so then it does balances out.

 

 

Men actually have a lot more power, both sexual and otherwise, in society. The fact that they can even date/pursue women they don't find sexually attractive (see another post) spells it out, the fact that they tend to "get over" relationships more quickly and remarry etc. I could go on.

 

So, if a man doesn't feel that, for me its an issue of his personal qualities and his feeling of lack of personal power and attractiveness that has nothing to do with his gender.

 

If he is genuinely in love and vulnerable with a woman perhaps that is another question, but no man on this thread has raised that scenario , just what he can "get" or "can't get" at the bar.

Edited March 12, 2011 by jane100

[sumdude]

Guys, say what you want is a relationship. Say you limited the definition of options not too just how many women accept to date you/sleep with you, but to the amount of women who accept to date you who you actually see a future with? How many options do you then have? Now realize that your odds are actually better than women: if a woman accepts to date you, she likely already sees potential.

 

Now the options are getting more limited, understand?

 

Let's say I've filtered out the women I approach to only ten I am interested in for as relationship. Odds are I'll still get rejected by all but 1 or 2 even after doing the initial possible relationship filtering. So I've cut down my options by screening then had those I screened choose to screen me out.

 

 

Another example. Let's say you have a man and woman of equal attractiveness, intelligence etc. Let's say they're both in the top 15% of attractiveness ok?

 

Both have been dumped hard, cheated on and are suffering some self esteem issues, crisis of confidence and are kinda down. Both decide to go out with a freind to a bar/club where singles mingle. Both are feeling kinda shy and reserved but looking pretty good.

 

Who is going to get hit on?

 

This is so simple, the guy has to get his confidence back to do the approaching. The girl just by looking good is likely to get approached at least a couple times at the bar that night. Even if the guys who hit on her aren't up to her standards at least she gets a little lift and ego boost from the attention. Meanwhile the guy, if he hasn't got his bawls back togther leaves feeling possibly worse because he not only struck out but couldn't get his gumption up. Women just aren't going to walk up to and hit on him unless he's uber duber hot..

 

The onus is on the man, that's just the way the world is.

 

In the long run things are relatively even. The irony I see is that women who have a lot of options seem to exercise the wrong ones more often that not. Thinking that the more aggressive the man is initially the better, provided he fits the genetic profile lol. Of course men have been know to think with the little head a bit too often too.

[MarlyStar]

It really seems that so many women don't seem to be willing to take enough responsibility for their dating lives. ...are you willing to send the first email to the right guys?

 

I initiated contact 29 times with emails.

 

You complain about how the guys who approach you are too young/too old, but have you ever thought of *at least* smiling at the men you would like to meet?

 

I pretty much smile at everyone I meet during the day. The 80 year old who shuffles through the door ahead of me at the gas station, the surly 15 year old leaning against the wall at Dairy Queen. Every single person I pass in the hall at work or on the elevators (smile and nod). I acknowledge and make brief eye contact with everyone. It's common courtesy.

 

You're shooting yourselves in the foot by trying to figure out whether he wants sex or a relationship, after a first conversation with a guy.

 

I just assume all men want sex. I'm looking for the ones who want sex PLUS a non-exploitive relationship based on (yawn) mutual respect and interest. That's most guys I assume.

 

Also, there are a lot of great guys out there who aren't good at starting conversations with a woman they don't know. It probably means that they aren't players out trying to meet a lot of women. Why not give him the benefit of the doubt for caring enough to approach you, and meet him for coffee anyway? You can screen out most of the users fairly easily that way.

 

Not good at writing a profile either. But I am overlooking the typos and careless grammar and the anxious hints about how they are looking for a passionate lover (sex is implicit in a relationship and does not have be discussed in a profile, really and truly, women know men want a good sex life, when men write too much about intimacy, backrubs and passionate kissing they seem to be just looking for sex--altho I'm making the assumption they don't mean too). I also overlook the fact that ALL these profiles sound alike (I'm sure the women profiles do too--I've read them).

 

All I need to respond is one or two clues of unique personality something that might math me, and a sense that they are established in their career whatever career it is, and check that the photo isn't a turn off (they must have front teeth--and not all do), they aren't married or 'separated' and live within the region and are reasonably age appropriate. This isn't too picky.

 

I am giving the benefit of the doubt, but I'm not going to waste time with a guy without teeth, or who can barely write a coherent sentence or who is looking for a 'discreet' relationship or can't talk about anything BUT sex, or who is 300 lbs.

 

Some of you seem to worship at the altar of "Chemistry". You are giving guys chances when there are red flags all over the place, but you won't go on a second date with someone whom you had a good time with and who seems like a good guy, but there was "not enough sparks" on the first date. It's like you feel that your life has to be this grand romantic chemistry or something.

 

I haven't gotten to the date part yet, so I don't know about Chemistry. But I do know if I like someone and have a good time and there isn't chemistry, I will go out a second and third time too if he's willing. Enough fun time will produce chemistry.

 

To sum up, I'd like the ladies on here who aren't happy with their dating lives to think about whether they are really taking enough responsibility for it, and whether their strategies for meeting and screening men really make sense.

 

I think I am. I'm also looking at several meetup groups and have put the word out among my friends. But I noticed with the meetup groups is they are attended mostly by women (even the ones dedicated to singles in my age group); the men have joined but don't participate.

 

I'm not a bar person, I hate noisy places where you have to shout to be heard, and I'm a light drinker. I suppose I could stop off at the bar at say an Olive Garden and 'hang around there' but geeze, I gotta say that just doesn't sound at all like fun or like I'm going to meet anyone. Single guys don't hang out there.

 

What else is there to do? Where are all these options?

[phineas]

To clarify I said IF you are going on the basis that men approach women and women do not do the approaching because it seems like that is the scenerio that most people on here are referring to. Although I know that a woman approaching a man usually is not a good idea-men are flattered at first but ultimately if they are not the persuers they get bored- but can occassionally work out.

 

you are flat out wrong on that.

only a small portion of men like the chase.

Guys that like the chase usually have a friend with benefits or two on the side to take care of needs not met while on the chase.

 

That's why they can waste their time chasing a chick.

Most men will not waste their time with women who play hard to get.

Why?

Chasing a chick for weeks don't get you laid.

 

So either your playing hard to get & it's turning them off or your just not as attractive as you think you are & may need to lower your standards. sorry.

 

Most men have to lower their standards to find a woman that is interested in them or they gotta improve their body.

 

No I have not had 200 men approach me hence why I said not that many guys come up to us at clubs and bars. I am saying if you stuck 200 guys in a room I would probably only be interested in a few. You know what though, you just made me realize maybe we arent getting approached because 95% of the time we are there with our guy friends. Do you think standing alone would be a lot more approachable?

 

Yeah, surrounding yourself with other men might be the reason other guys don't approach.

[sumdude]

Men actually have a lot more power, both sexual and otherwise, in society. The fact that they can even date/pursue women they don't find sexually attractive (see another post) spells it out, the fact that they tend to "get over" relationships more quickly and remarry etc. I could go on.

 

So, if a man doesn't feel that, for me its an issue of his personal qualities and his feeling of lack of personal power and attractiveness that has nothing to do with his gender.

 

If he is genuinely in love and vulnerable with a woman perhaps that is another question, but no man on this thread has raised that scenario , just what he can "get" or "can't get" at the bar.

 

In my experience I've seen the women leave their husbands for other men and remarry far more quickly than their husbands did. My ex GF from two years ago has dated about 4 men since, one for about a year. While I've had a couple very short little flings. She moved on much faster and has exercised her 'options' quite quickly.

 

As far as being in love and vulnerable and actually wanting a relationship? Then there's a long wait and a lot of frustration. It's far better to initiate something and hope it turns into a great thing than to wait and wait hoping the 'magic happens'.

[phineas]

another reason I deactivated my POF profile is because all I saw were a bunch of skinny-fat women with troll faces actually putting into their profile that if the man wasn't fit & good looking not to bother contacting them.

 

They put it in caps.

 

A lot of the women that I don't consider all that attractive literally put down they want a man who is attractive.

 

I'm no adonis, but i've dated women better looking than most of these women on POF demanding a good looking guy.

 

Women like that have many viable options. but complain they don't.

They choose to ignore them & are so picky & unrealistic in what their looking for they remain on POF for yrs.

[Kamille]

 

Let's say I've filtered out the women I approach to only ten I am interested in for as relationship. Odds are I'll still get rejected by all but 1 or 2 even after doing the initial possible relationship filtering. So I've cut down my options by screening then had those I screened choose to screen me out.

 

But the same happens to me! Say I'm interested in 5 guys (when I'm single, that's about the maximum amount of guys I can be interested in). I'll flirt with each one of them when I run into them, send signals, sometimes very flagrant ones (I've been known to literally tell guys I thought they were hot) and usually, one of them will eventually ask me out. My success rate is therefore also 20%.

 

Another example. Let's say you have a man and woman of equal attractiveness, intelligence etc. Let's say they're both in the top 15% of attractiveness ok?

 

Both have been dumped hard, cheated on and are suffering some self esteem issues, crisis of confidence and are kinda down. Both decide to go out with a freind to a bar/club where singles mingle. Both are feeling kinda shy and reserved but looking pretty good.

 

Who is going to get hit on?

 

I've seen both scenarios happen and actually, for some reason, the newly single guy will usually fare better than the single gal.

 

I wonder why you guys systematically dismiss all the testimony of the women on here who've said: "hey, I'm good looking enough and it isn't true that I get hit on so much". I agree that there are things I can do to improve my chances of getting approached - but so can guys! They do can smile, look like they're enjoying themselves, stand alone, strike up conversations. They do can pay attention to body language to figure out who's approachable or not.

 

I feel like you guys also struggle to understand that there's a difference between a playful approach and a "not an option" approach. Example one: Option (true example): I'm at a grocery store, where mangos are on sale. Cute man (I thought he was gorgeous, but I imagine others would find him average) is right next to me. I check him out, he notices. He strikes up a conversation about how to pick mangos. I leave feeling an ego-boost, mentally take note of the time and the day, hoping to run into him again, telling myself that if I do, I'll take action (ask him out or hint that I would like to go out).

 

Example 2 Not an option (true example): a friend and I (both women) are at a neighborhood pub at around 8pm, having a drink and talking about an upcoming research project we're working on. An already inebriated guy approaches our table and tells my friend : "You're really pretty". (He kind of has to scream it, since the bar is kind of loud). Neither one of us had been paying attention to pretty much anyone else in the bar, and neither one of us were actually giving off vibes that we were interested in meeting people. Up until he walked to the table, neither one of us had noticed him. She smiles, says thanks, and turns back to me and continues our conversation on-topic. The guy interrupts her and asks if he can sit with us. We say "sure why not", at which point he proceeds to sit and starts a monologue about himself. My friend says (nicely): "Listen, I know it takes guts to walk up to total strangers like you just did. I want to congratulate you for doing that. However, we're working here and to be honest, I'm not interested." He gets upset. We end up trying to give him pointers on how to improve his approach (as in: pay attention to whether or not the women want to be approached; try not to monopolize the conversation when you do approach). He then ends up calling my friend a b*** for not giving him a chance, and actually spurts out the sentence: nice guys always finish last. (At which point I lose it and tell him there's no way for us to figure out if he's nice or not from his approach). He leaves the table but keeps coming back to apologize or berate us. My friend and I decide to leave the bar.

 

That example is extreme, but not uncommon. I can think of 3 different scenarios that have pretty much played out as bad, and multiple scenarios where a guy approached me without me ever giving a sign that I was into being approached - or noticing him to start out with.

 

 

The girl just by looking good is likely to get approached at least a couple times at the bar that night. Even if the guys who hit on her aren't up to her standards at least she gets a little lift and ego boost from the attention.

 

That's what you guys don't get. My friend didn't get an ego boost from getting approached by a drunk guy in a bar. She got annoyed. We had to leave. No ego-stroke. I get an ego boost when a guy I think is cute approaches me. Otherwise, at best, I feel uncomfortable, at worst, I actually have to leave the premise (or in one scenario, a guy friend of mine actually stepped in to tell a guy to leave me alone).

 

75% of the time, getting cold approached in a bar doesn't provide an ego-boost so much as it creates an uncomfortable situation.

Edited March 12, 2011 by Kamille

[MarlyStar]

...another reason I deactivated my POF profile is because all I saw were a bunch of skinny-fat women with troll faces actually putting into their profile that if the man wasn't fit & good looking not to bother contacting them.

 

A lot of the women that I don't consider all that attractive literally put down they want a man who is attractive....

 

What's a skinny-fat woman?

 

Lots of pudgy out of shape men put down that they want an in shape woman. They say they work out 5 times a week (???!!!!) and want a woman who 'takes care of herself', works out, and is height and weight porportionate.

 

I think people are getting too easily offended here. The pudgy man most likley isn't looking for a lingerie model body (altho he wouldn't turn it down). He knows woman underestimate how big they are and just wants to scare off the 210 pound 5'4 woman. Or the pudding bag shaped ones. I think for the most part he'd be ok with the 5'4 150lb woman. He doesn't want a dumpy woman or one without a waist, but he's generally will be okay with a few extra pounds. However, he's almost obnoxious about insisting that she be inshape and take care of herself and look good.

 

These women on POF who want an attractive man, are doing the same thing. Men really over estimate how attractive they are. There are some really 'troll' looking men out there too; these women are hoping to scare them off. THey aren't expecting George Clooney look alikes, they just want to avoid the trolls, especially the trolls who don't shave and bathe and take care of their teeth and dress in stretched out t shirts and dirty jeans with graying unkempt ponytails and greasy hair, wearing baseball caps.

 

They'd take an average looking guy, just like a man would take a woman with a few extra pounds, but they overstate what they are looking for to weed out the truly unacceptable.

 

And it's very hard to judge one's own attractiveness. And demeanor has a lot to do with it as well, which doesn't come thru in online photos.

Edited March 12, 2011 by MarlyStar

[phineas]

To be honest I did look at a few of the male profiles to see my competition.

I really only saw dude's with shirtless pictures showing off their 6 packs looking for hot women.

 

The average guys with the myspace angles really didn't seem too demanding with looks other than to state their active & want someone to go hiking with ect.

 

Skinny-fat is when you're skinny & flabby at the same time so people can't tell your out of shape until the clothes come off.

 

But, Their all a bunch of lieing mo-fo's online both men and women.

[GoodOnPaper]

I feel like you guys also struggle to understand that there's a difference between a playful approach and a "not an option" approach.

 

Oh, I think that's a MAJOR struggle -- particularly for those of us with "nice guy" tendencies. We're told that we fail because we're not assertive enough or express our sexuality enough. I would never be the guy in your bar example, but I found the grocery store example interesting. I probably would have interpreted that encounter differently than the guy in your story. One, do average-looking guys really get "checked out" by women? I don't think I ever have -- and while I'm not nearly as experienced as I feel I should be, my number of dates and LTRs is greater than zero. Two, I noticed the guy didn't ask for your number or a date. I wouldn't have either on a first meeting, but afterwards I would feel bad about it for not having the guts to do so and ultimately figure that you would get snapped up 15 minutes later by a smooth-talking player. What flaws do you see in my thinking?

[MarlyStar]

One, do average-looking guys really get "checked out" by women? I don't think I ever have -- and while I'm not nearly as experienced as I feel I should be, my number of dates and LTRs is greater than zero.

 

Two, I noticed the guy didn't ask for your number or a date. I wouldn't have either on a first meeting, but afterwards I would feel bad about it for not having the guts to do so and ultimately figure that you would get snapped up 15 minutes later by a smooth-talking player. What flaws do you see in my thinking?

 

Yes, I check out average looking guys. I actually think an average looking guy is a better prospect for a LTR than a hot guy. I'm wary of hot guys; I think they are mostly going to be trouble. I prefer average guys.

 

I'd be okay with someone I had a pleasant encounter with asking for my number. It's encouraging to think that after such an exchange you regretted not doing it. What signals could I give that would make it easier for you to ask?

[GoodOnPaper]

What signals could I give that would make it easier for you to ask?

 

Back in my 20s, you'd pretty much have to plant a kiss on me right there. I didn't catch on very quick.

[EasyHeart]

Example one: Option (true example): I'm at a grocery store, where mangos are on sale. Cute man (I thought he was gorgeous, but I imagine others would find him average) is right next to me. I check him out, he notices. He strikes up a conversation about how to pick mangos. I leave feeling an ego-boost, mentally take note of the time and the day, hoping to run into him again, telling myself that if I do, I'll take action (ask him out or hint that I would like to go out).

OMG, this literally happened to me an hour ago in the grocery store. We were even looking at mangos!

 

Kamille, was that you?!?!?

[somedude81]

OMG, this literally happened to me an hour ago in the grocery store. We were even looking at mangos!

 

Kamille, was that you?!?!?

They don't call it the LoveShack for nothing

[Kamille]

OMG, this literally happened to me an hour ago in the grocery store. We were even looking at mangos!

 

Kamille, was that you?!?!?

 

Is your mango ripe and juicy?

 

Happened years ago, when I was single. The guy was so cute - especially since he was also a little shy. He wasn't "hot". He had a "college professor" look that I really like: kind of nerdy yet laid back. Basically, the guy was my style.

 

 

 

Oh, I think that's a MAJOR struggle -- particularly for those of us with "nice guy" tendencies. We're told that we fail because we're not assertive enough or express our sexuality enough. I would never be the guy in your bar example, but I found the grocery store example interesting. I probably would have interpreted that encounter differently than the guy in your story.

 

Really? How would you have interpreted a girl glancing at you?

 

One, do average-looking guys really get "checked out" by women? I don't think I ever have -- and while I'm not nearly as experienced as I feel I should be, my number of dates and LTRs is greater than zero.

 

Yes. Yes we do.

 

I admit it's likely pretty subtle, as you guys are right about one thing: we ladies are scared ****less of rejection, and few dare to be obvious about checking out a guy. Friends had to train me on being more obvious (and worry not, I'm telling friends to be obvious about checking out guys). In the mango case, the guy actually "caught" me checking him out. I was trying to be discreet.

 

 

Two, I noticed the guy didn't ask for your number or a date. I wouldn't have either on a first meeting, but afterwards I would feel bad about it for not having the guts to do so and ultimately figure that you would get snapped up 15 minutes later by a smooth-talking player. What flaws do you see in my thinking?

 

To be honest, I wondered the same thing: why didn't he ask me out? Maybe I'm the one who misinterpreted his banter, and he was really just a mango fanatic. I also regretted not being more proactive myself. But I like Marly's question: once we actually are interacting with a guy we like, what can we ladies do to encourage you to ask for our number?

[MarlyStar]

Just now went to Subway. Was a man sitting at a table with a 10 year old boy. Neither talking. He didn't have on a wedding ring. I pegged him as a divorced dad with weekend visitation.

 

I saw him looking at me and gave him a friendly smile while I waited to order. He looked surprised, his eyes actually widened. I had to order then, and felt him watching me with interest. I cuaght his eye again and smiled again. THen I left.

 

That was a potential I suppose. But I had no idea how to exploit it, and there wasn't enough time for him to act on his interest. And the kid was there.

 

How do you exploit these chance opportunities? I'm willing to do my part.

[AD1980]

Oh, I think that's a MAJOR struggle -- particularly for those of us with "nice guy" tendencies. We're told that we fail because we're not assertive enough or express our sexuality enough. I would never be the guy in your bar example, but I found the grocery store example interesting. I probably would have interpreted that encounter differently than the guy in your story. One, do average-looking guys really get "checked out" by women? I don't think I ever have -- and while I'm not nearly as experienced as I feel I should be, my number of dates and LTRs is greater than zero. Two, I noticed the guy didn't ask for your number or a date. I wouldn't have either on a first meeting, but afterwards I would feel bad about it for not having the guts to do so and ultimately figure that you would get snapped up 15 minutes later by a smooth-talking player. What flaws do you see in my thinking?

 

Yeah ive never been checked out my entire life or giving any even subtle signs so im stuck at the cold approach which im awful at..

 

The only way ill ever get a women is if she tells me shes interested which probably wont happen..

[EasyHeart]

I admit it's likely pretty subtle, as you guys are right about one thing: we ladies are scared ****less of rejection, and few dare to be obvious about checking out a guy. Friends had to train me on being more obvious (and worry not, I'm telling friends to be obvious about checking out guys). In the mango case, the guy actually "caught" me checking him out. I was trying to be discreet.

 

To be honest, I wondered the same thing: why didn't he ask me out? Maybe I'm the one who misinterpreted his banter, and he was really just a mango fanatic. I also regretted not being more proactive myself. But I like Marly's question: once we actually are interacting with a guy we like, what can we ladies do to encourage you to ask for our number?

Most of the time, I just flirt for the sake of flirting; I'm not looking to "close the deal". The point is simply to give us each a mutual ego boost. It never occurred to me that I was traumatizing any women by not asking them out!

 

Let's take Mango Girl this morning. I walked into the produce section in a rush (I didn't have much time!) and she looked at me, made eye contact and held my gaze. I smiled and she turned red and looked embarrassed. After a couple minutes, she went over to the mangoes, which were next to the plums that I was looking at. I then struck up a conversation, saying that I liked mangoes but could never figure out a good way to get around that big stone (I was lying, btw). She started telling me how to cut it, and we talked a bit as we picked out some other veggies. Then I smiled and said, "Have a good day," and walked away. I would never (or almost never) ask for a phone number in that situation, simply because (1) I know nothing about her besides she likes healthy food and (2) it would kind of ruin the moment -- this way we both have a nice story and little Saturday morning ego boost.

[Kamille]

Most of the time, I just flirt for the sake of flirting; I'm not looking to "close the deal". The point is simply to give us each a mutual ego boost. It never occurred to me that I was traumatizing any women by not asking them out!

 

Let's take Mango Girl this morning. I walked into the produce section in a rush (I didn't have much time!) and she looked at me, made eye contact and held my gaze. I smiled and she turned red and looked embarrassed. After a couple minutes, she went over to the mangoes, which were next to the plums that I was looking at. I then struck up a conversation, saying that I liked mangoes but could never figure out a good way to get around that big stone (I was lying, btw). She started telling me how to cut it, and we talked a bit as we picked out some other veggies. Then I smiled and said, "Have a good day," and walked away. I would never (or almost never) ask for a phone number in that situation, simply because (1) I know nothing about her besides she likes healthy food and (2) it would kind of ruin the moment -- this way we both have a nice story and little Saturday morning ego boost.

 

That is a pretty nice story and eerily similar to my own Mango scenario... We also talked about cutting the fruit!

 

And yes, I enjoyed the ego-stroke. A part of me feels that the moment would have been ruined if either of us had pushed things. Another part of me felt, at the time, like: darn, that guy was cute! I want to see him again!

 

perhaps the moral of the story is that guys and girls looking for a nice flirty chat should hang out by the mango display.

[carhill]

I have a 'got miles?' travel card that I have discreetly handed out in such situations (like the 'great mango adventure'), which has my e-mail and phone number, as women my age have generally been reluctant to give their phone number to a stranger, at least a stranger like myself, meaning a friendly and open stranger. So far, nothing has come of it. More options

[musemaj11]

More like men have more options to spend his money.

[PJKino]

I dont see all the power in being the approacher,yeah you get to apporach women youre interestd in but theres no guarantee any of em will say yes