fortyninethousand322 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 They do can pay attention to body language to figure out who's approachable or not. I feel like you guys also struggle to understand that there's a difference between a playful approach and a "not an option" approach. Example one: Option (true example): I'm at a grocery store, where mangos are on sale. Cute man (I thought he was gorgeous, but I imagine others would find him average) is right next to me. I check him out, he notices. He strikes up a conversation about how to pick mangos. I leave feeling an ego-boost, mentally take note of the time and the day, hoping to run into him again, telling myself that if I do, I'll take action (ask him out or hint that I would like to go out). Is it really that easy? I don't think if I were the guy in that scenario that I would actually have talked to you. I've seen women check me out before but I've always neglected to talk to them because I either second guess myself or figure they'd be annoyed if I tried to talk to them. Perhaps I need to stop listening to myself so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Paradise384 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I don't know if this is just myself and most of the women I speak with (we are in our 20's and live in central jersey) but usually we are the ones hoping and wondering about the guy we are seeing or who has showed interest in us that we like..THEY usually control the relationship. Once I talked to a friend who was doing things the "right way" and making the guy chase her and court her and for me its just so much more natural for me to be in the "chasing" position. I wish I could be more like her. So if I only like guys who pose a challenge does that mean I'm more like a guy? Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I don't know if this is just myself and most of the women I speak with (we are in our 20's and live in central jersey) but usually we are the ones hoping and wondering about the guy we are seeing or who has showed interest in us that we like..THEY usually control the relationship. Once I talked to a friend who was doing things the "right way" and making the guy chase her and court her and for me its just so much more natural for me to be in the "chasing" position. I wish I could be more like her. So if I only like guys who pose a challenge does that mean I'm more like a guy? There are some guys (usually the shy ones) who like to be 'chased'. Liking to chase or be chased is individual personality-related, not gender-related. Personally I do not want to be chased like a prey. But I do want clear show of interest, not just some stupid smile or other 'signals', 'hints' or other craps. Women smile all the time even if they dont like the person. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Chasing sucks. The worst thing about it, is that's it's hard to tell if a girl is playing hard to get or if she's simply not interested. The best way to think about it; if she's running it means she doesn't want to get caught. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Chasing sucks. A lot of people like chasing though. Its like a game for them. I understand that but I personally find liking 'the chase' a red flag. People like that are like dogs who like to chase after passing cars. They dont want the cars. They just want to chase them. I dont chase and I dont want to be chased. Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 having read pages of this thread, the most accurate conclusion that i can come to is that: men/women have more/less options than men/women you may now continue the discussion. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 having read pages of this thread, the most accurate conclusion that i can come to is that: men/women have more/less options than men/women you may now continue the discussion. Thanks runner. I think that nicely sums it up! Class dismissed. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I think if everybody switched genders for a week we would all have more understanding of what the other gender goes through. It is easier to understand something if you have experienced it. Link to post Share on other sites
SteveC80 Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 (edited) The better looking the person man or women the more options Edited March 13, 2011 by SteveC80 Link to post Share on other sites
Titania22 Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I think if everybody switched genders for a week we would all have more understanding of what the other gender goes through. It is easier to understand something if you have experienced it. It would be kind of funny if we swapped places, if i ended up being successful with women. Like, geez, 'i can function better as a different sex then my own', then it might bring a whole new level of frustration when put back in our own sex. Link to post Share on other sites
welikeincrowds Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I think if everybody switched genders for a week we would all have more understanding of what the other gender goes through. It is easier to understand something if you have experienced it. Actually I've heard of a program where people do this. They get done up professionally to look like a different race, gender, etc. I wish I could remember a name or something. Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Thanks runner. I think that nicely sums it up! Class dismissed. realising that i hadn't actually added anything, i will argue that the person (i don't care what gender you're coming from) more willing to put themselves out there, crawl out of their comfort zone and CREATE more options, will naturally have more options than the person who would rather sit still and blame the other team... oh snap ! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I think if everybody switched genders for a week we would all have more understanding of what the other gender goes through. It is easier to understand something if you have experienced it. Wogs, I think MrLonelyone contributed that perspective here or in a related thread, since he's lived as both female and male and provided pictures to show his attractiveness within both genders. I found his perspectives enlightening. ----- Myself, I'm not whining, rather calmly reciting my experiences over 3+ decades as an adult. No prejudice. Life is a journey. We don't get out alive. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 The better looking the person man or women the more options Options for relationships or hooking up? Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Wogs, I think MrLonelyone contributed that perspective here or in a related thread, since he's lived as both female and male and provided pictures to show his attractiveness within both genders. I found his perspectives enlightening. ----- Myself, I'm not whining, rather calmly reciting my experiences over 3+ decades as an adult. No prejudice. Life is a journey. We don't get out alive. Indeed Carhill. I've seen enough in the world at 43 to know how it works. Examples galore. Particularly with women as they reach about 35+. My ex GF and her best friend are both attractive and outgoing women around my age. Believe me, they can go out 4 nights a week to almost any bar/nightclub, never pay for a drink and have the pick of almost any man. I see women like this all around who have realized that power and have men following them around like puppies. I'm talking about women around 40 and these men are 25 and up. They have plenty of guy 'friends' who'll do all sorts of things for them just because there may be some chance in their own minds even though the women have shown nothing real in terms of interest. They know how to use the damsel in distress act perfectly as well. On the flip side these same women often choose the wrong men to form real relationships with over and over. The irony is amazing. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Indeed Carhill. I've seen enough in the world at 43 to know how it works. Examples galore. Particularly with women as they reach about 35+. My ex GF and her best friend are both attractive and outgoing women around my age. Believe me, they can go out 4 nights a week to almost any bar/nightclub, never pay for a drink and have the pick of almost any man. I see women like this all around who have realized that power and have men following them around like puppies. I'm talking about women around 40 and these men are 25 and up. They have plenty of guy 'friends' who'll do all sorts of things for them just because there may be some chance in their own minds even though the women have shown nothing real in terms of interest. They know how to use the damsel in distress act perfectly as well. On the flip side these same women often choose the wrong men to form real relationships with over and over. The irony is amazing. You just described almost every woman late 30's / early 40's to show "interest" in me. They take it as far as kissing me then say they "just want to be friends" I tell them I have enough friends. LOL! Because I know they will try to make me their gay shopping buddy & try to use me to do stuff for them & basically try to monopolize all my free time because their bored. I don't want that. What I do find funny is most of the women on LS claim to not know about women like this & women I stopped talking to that were like this claimed to not know women like this. It's like first rule of attention whore club is not talk about attention whoring. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Well, a regular here wrote a thread very recently that I think, really illustrates why men think that women have all these options. It is about her experience in a unisex gym. She said in the thread that she would feel uncomfortable if a (non--creepy) guy came up and talked to her in the gym. Now could you imagine a guy ever feeling likewise? And how are we supposed to meet you then? Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 It's like first rule of attention whore club is not talk about attention whoring. :laugh: truth Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I reported vipfinest as a spammer. Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf18 Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 (edited) I'm decent looking, 5'7, thin, have a lot to offer personality wise , etc, and yet can't get my foot in the door with most women. I have friends who are a lot better looking than me who go months or even a year without any female prospects. My sister has the same exact face as me, is also thin, etc, but a pretty lousy personality (I say this from looking at how she treats people as a whole) and she is considered gorgeous and has guys falling over for her. How is it that two people with the same exact genetics and the same looks adjusted for masculine and feminine, have such a radical difference in their dating lives? I have to join Somedude in saying I see a lot of good looking in shape guys, with chubby, homely women every day that I'm out, but find it's less common to find the opposite. Generally women in their 20's who are average or good looking have a pretty stringent idea of how the guy they date should look. I think many women have a lot more trouble being sexually aroused by a guy who isn't particularly muscular, tall or rich than a guy does with an average looking girl (because men are easier to turn on sexually). I don't think they would be as picky as they are if it wasn't for the fact that they had plenty of options. Can't tell you how many times I've seen a cute girl whose not a model, but has her own unique and unconventional beauty, then suddenly when I finally muster up the courage to go talk to her, some random guy beats me to it. A woman's time is a very valuable and hard to get asset in your 20's, even if the woman is average looking. Don't even get me started on the infinite amount of times I have my eye on a girl in class or at my job , then suddenly I see them come in with their boyfriend (and no, not all these women are all that great looking). Seems like every girl has a boyfriend no matter what they look like. I'm just hoping it gets better as you get older, a lot of people tell me women's standards become more realistic as they age. Edited March 20, 2011 by Wolf18 Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 I'm decent looking, 5'7, thin, have a lot to offer personality wise , etc, and yet can't get my foot in the door with most women. I have friends who are a lot better looking than me who go months or even a year without any female prospects. My sister has the same exact face as me, is also thin, etc, but a pretty lousy personality (I say this from looking at how she treats people as a whole) and she is considered gorgeous and has guys falling over for her. How is it that two people with the same exact genetics and the same looks adjusted for masculine and feminine, have such a radical difference in their dating lives? I have to join Somedude in saying I see a lot of good looking in shape guys, with chubby, homely women every day that I'm out, but find it's less common to find the opposite. Generally women in their 20's who are average or good looking have a pretty stringent idea of how the guy they date should look. I think many women have a lot more trouble being sexually aroused by a guy who isn't particularly muscular, tall or rich than a guy does with an average looking girl (because men are easier to turn on sexually). I don't think they would be as picky as they are if it wasn't for the fact that they had plenty of options. Can't tell you how many times I've seen a cute girl whose not a model, but has her own unique and unconventional beauty, then suddenly when I finally muster up the courage to go talk to her, some random guy beats me to it. A woman's time is a very valuable and hard to get asset in your 20's, even if the woman is average looking. Don't even get me started on the infinite amount of times I have my eye on a girl in class or at my job , then suddenly I see them come in with their boyfriend (and no, not all these women are all that great looking). Seems like every girl has a boyfriend no matter what they look like. I'm just hoping it gets better as you get older, a lot of people tell me women's standards become more realistic as they age. Yeah i would agree it seems Men are attracted to a more diverse group of women then vice versa Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Taylor Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 The better looking the person man or women the more options Agreed. Whether it's merely a hookup or a relationship, or whether the individual pursuing is of quality or not, they are options. Even you have no attraction for the person, it is an option because if you wanted you could have that person. Options are not limited to those you want. If a 250 pound women showed interest in me, she would still be an option. It would be an option I choose not to exercise, but it's still an option. Link to post Share on other sites
Bj099235 Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 From everything I've seen and heard, it seems like most guys are pretty easy to please, and will easily settle, because of harder it is for them. With women, unless you're ridiciously good looking, or ooze charm, you have to really work hard to interest women. Link to post Share on other sites
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