longlegzs80 Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Is a relationship with a man always about getting sex from a women? Maybe I have very little trust in men or something, but I find that majority of men only want sex. So, where are the men who would like just a relationship with a women where it is not just based on sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 no, not all are like that, many, but not all, i want a love relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 I know there are some good men out there, but what makes a man feel as if he can talk down to a women and make her feel bad about not sleeping with them when it is very clear that the women has made it clear that she just wants a fun loving relationship where it is not based on sexual stuff all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 being a scumball? i really dont know, me and my friends(some of which just want sex) wont make her feel bad about it, they just leave if they dont get what they want. Your bf shouldnt be making you feel bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I'm trying to find the right words for this......I think MOST men combine the two and do NOT mean it as a negative ploy towards the woman involved. MOST men look at sex differently.....they focus more on it....and derive an identity from it. NOT because they are 'bad'.....just because they are ''different'. We've talked before about women giving sex to get love and men giving love to get sex. I don't see it quite as being true....but to a man....sex is VERY important. It's a validation of sorts. I'm not suggesting a woman 'put out' to appease the man in her life.....but she can't ignore the fact of how important this aspect of a relationship is to him. Most guys will wait....but they won't wait forever. YEPPERS.....women may disagree with me....but I know that I know....men desire and need a good sex life. When denied....some will turn to porn, others to nudie bars and others to affairs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 I agree ARABESE, it is important for a guy to get sex and it is important for a women to have a sex life too. But in my case, what would you do if you have dated for a month and all the guy says are sexual inuendos that I just don't appreciate. I made it quite clear as to what I want and I made it clear to him that if he is in that much of a need for sex to go find someone else who will just give it up. I just want to find someone that cares about me and respects me as far as the sex thing goes and my take on it. And I agree, it won't be forever, but he has to understand that it is a huge turn off to me when that is all he talks about. Link to post Share on other sites
swtbonita Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 there are nice guys out there that want more than just sex.. Personally i think in the beginning of the relationship each person should communicate what they want from the relationship.. and how serious each of them are and what they are looking for.. you just have to ask.. at least thats how i see it.. personally i think if a guy is willing to wait it shows how serious and how much they care about you.. Well I found a guy that waited for me.. and we've been together for more 2 1/2 years and he's very considerate of me.. Personally i think any guy will want a love relationship if its with the right girl Link to post Share on other sites
average guy Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I think most men are programmed by their genetics and society to want sex from women and agressivly pursue it. I had a best male friend once make a pass at my girlfiend and she told me "it was okay, I expected him to - guys just always feel they have to make an attempt to get some". Unfortunately, I think men are left in the agressive role because women are not assertive enough about their sexuality. In Scandanavia, women tend to be much more assertive sexually and as prmiscuuios as men without any guilt or shame. As a result, I've always found Scandanavian men to be much more relaxed about "chasing women" and MUCh less demeaning towards women. Just a thought ... Cheere A.G. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyangel Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Originally posted by longlegzs80 But in my case, what would you do if you have dated for a month and all the guy says are sexual inuendos that I just don't appreciate. I made it quite clear as to what I want and I made it clear to him that if he is in that much of a need for sex to go find someone else who will just give it up. I just want to find someone that cares about me and respects me as far as the sex thing goes and my take on it. And I agree, it won't be forever, but he has to understand that it is a huge turn off to me when that is all he talks about. What "I" would do is decide whether I was attracted enough to the guy to keep seeing him and eventually have sex with him, or if you just don't think that's going to happen, let him off the hook now and find someone more suited for you. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 To quote Weezer, personally, "I'm tired of having sex." Link to post Share on other sites
Dug Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I suppose men are as many of you say, as far as being more "physically motivated toward sex, but ....the "relationship itself is dependent on alot more than just sex...for both genders. You have to look at age, maturity, experiences, goals etc. I know alot of men who just won't "grow-up"...and I know an equal number of women who are trying to change those men and shape them into something they are not. I don't know enough about you to say more, but ther ARE men out there who value intimacy as you would want them to. The real trick is to find them isn't it ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Clancy Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Longlegzs, I suppose I'm a bit of pr*ck for doing so but I can't resist reminding you of your own words in a post back in January. "I can't tell you how horny I am. If I ever get a you know what, then I would freakin seduce him like he has never been seduced. Man do I want some sex. Sex, sex and moooooooooore sex. I don't even have a guy friend for the benifits thing. It just stinks." Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Originally posted by Clancy Longlegzs, I suppose I'm a bit of pr*ck for doing so but I can't resist reminding you of your own words in a post back in January. "I can't tell you how horny I am. If I ever get a you know what, then I would freakin seduce him like he has never been seduced. Man do I want some sex. Sex, sex and moooooooooore sex. I don't even have a guy friend for the benifits thing. It just stinks." and wasn't there a similar post about how she thinks about sex "all the time" ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 I can admit. I am horny. But, as far as someone who is always talking about sex and saying sexual inuendos is very much so a turn off. I figure, if I am ready for sex, then that will be the time. The thing is I do like him alot. Just not some of the things that I have seen throughout the month. But, yes I do want sex, hey, who don't. I just find it annoying when that is all a guy talks about and then gets frustrated with you because your not giving it up. Too, I made it clear that there are things I want to do beforehand to protect myself from getting pregnant and he is just going to have to wait, and if he can't then he knows where the door is. Too about the dirty talkin. There is no reason for him to say sexual stuff all the time too me. This relationship should be where we talk about a variety of stuff, not just him mentioning sexual stuff. There is no need for it. Big big turn off. Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 .... this is why scientists have given up on "female viagra". Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 basically you want to have sex with him when you want it not him. You want the control. Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted April 1, 2004 Author Share Posted April 1, 2004 No, not necessarily. I just want to be protected first as far as being on birthcontrol and then we can take are relationship to a different level. But till that point, he is going to have to be patient. Because all this dirty talkin, is more turning me away then anything. Link to post Share on other sites
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