Want to wait till marriage for sex, but like a guy who does not believe that way.

[Duckduckgoose]

If your virginity is important to you and you want to wait till marriage then he should respect that. There are men that WILL respect that.

 

Could I do it personally? No... and I'm a female. I've driven a few "cars" without buying them and the one car I did "buy" was a dud. I would probably be driven to the limits of my sanity if I could handle it at all if I was with someone who wanted to wait till marriage. It would be disrespectful to pressure them I would probably leave

[skydiveaddict]

I have a lot of morals when it comes to stuff like that and I usually say something sarcastic like, "if you had a girlfriend, you might get that" and he comes back with, "you don't need a girlfriend, if you're attracted to each other, it can just be sex as long as you both agree that it's just sex."

 

I don't agree with this line of thinking, being a Christian, I know that sex leads to spiritual "ghosts" and feelings and heartache and attachment and I'm already smitten by this guy and I do not want to go there with him.

 

 

 

Don't sacrifice your core principles and your spirituality for anyone! You will find the right guy. If this one won't wait for you he's not the right one

[DreamerGirl27]

Hey, sex-starved fiend, making a woman break her moral convictions is not going to make her want to have sex with you, and its not like there's not enough bar sluts around to keep you busy, so keep your violation of her faith to yourself, and grow a little bit in maturity - you're almost 30 years old.

 

As for the OP:

 

Girl, if this guy is inviting you to play video games, he sure wants to play, but not exactly the kind of video games I play with my[I] guy[/i] friends.

 

The guy you're having feelings for is nothing more than a kid. He's 22 years old. He can barely change his own diapers, let alone be the right man for you. He's in the college stage mode, that means that he's looking for:

 

1)getting wasted.

2)getting high.

3)sleeping with as many women as possible.

 

Those young guys will also use a woman's virginity as a prize. And in some cases they might emotionally manipulate the woman, who is so naive, probably doesn't know how to say no, because she's not aware of the many BS that many guys are capable of using to make a woman drop her pants.

 

Look, I know that you have feelings for this guy. But those feelings will pass. If you have sex with this guy you are going to regret it for so many reasons. You'd feel forced to having sex with him due to the pull of the attraction you feel for him, but by doing so you'd break your convictions which would make you suffer immensely and maybe even create lasting trauma.

 

One day you'll find a guy who shares your ideals and your desire to wait for marriage. He won't make you feel bad about waiting for sex like that women-hater I just quoted, and he won't rush you in. He'll take his time in making you enjoy your first sexual experience, and that, and the connection you'll share with the man who believes in the same things, in the same religion, and in the same choice to wait: will make it far than worthy.

 

It will fulfill your dreams.

 

Don't fall for the pretty eyes of this guy. He's not interested in you, he's only interested in what you can give him, and if you aren't getting what you want from whatever interaction with whoever it might be: you're being used.

 

She is right though. Women are the gatekeepers of sex so yes they hold "all the cards".

 

This is because women simply do not like sex anywhere near as much as men do, or even at all.

 

If women liked sex they would not hold all the cards when it comes to it.

 

What is it with this forum and the misogynists?

 

I've seen men here claiming that only 20% of men have sex, I've seen women say that women below the age of 30 have no sexual desires, and now there's this little Darwin wannabe who thinks that he knows anything about women, despite being a virgin, probably.

 

Kiddo, just because women aren't interested in you doesn't mean that they are asexual. it simply shows that they have standards.

 

I think you're my new best friend. lawl

 

Don't worry, I am about as stubborn as they come. This guy won't be "getting in my pants" any time soon. If he really cares about me as more than just a sexual experience, he's gonna have to put a lot of work in. So far, he hasn't disappeared on me and I haven't given him anything. I'm just gonna keep at that. I know what I want. and I wanna serious, committed relationship, with a guy who doesn't pressure me for sex. I understand that that will come up at some point, but he better be able to wait for me. Until I am ready, which could be years after I get into a serious relationship. I know this game all too well, because I've watched my girlfriends go through it. They want something serious, they think they've got the guy serious about them, they sleep with them and then BAM! Guy's gone.

 

That won't happen to me. I'm gonna be in a seriously committed relationship with a guy for a LONG time before I even think about sleeping with him, especially if he's started our relationship out right off the bat talking about sex. That will only prolong his agony. (That was a joke, not being serious).

 

It only causes agony when some bonehead wants to rush love. You can't have sex without love and emotional attachment, period. You have to start at the beginning and sex comes at the end of it, not at the beginning (of a relationship).

 

If a guy wants in my pants. He's gonna have to prove himself worthy. Not sure if I'll actually wait all the way until my wedding night, although that would be ideal...

 

awww screw it, I probably will wait all the way until my wedding night. I know exactly where I want to get married and I even know where I want to lose it.

 

Yes, I've made a big deal about where and how I want to lose it. It's that important/special to me.

 

I'll be dam*ed if I don't get what I want. and deserve.

 

I'm one stubborn cookie.

[DreamerGirl27]

If your virginity is important to you and you want to wait till marriage then he should respect that. There are men that WILL respect that.

 

Could I do it personally? No... and I'm a female. I've driven a few "cars" without buying them and the one car I did "buy" was a dud. I would probably be driven to the limits of my sanity if I could handle it at all if I was with someone who wanted to wait till marriage. It would be disrespectful to pressure them I would probably leave

 

I don't understand this line of thinking. If you love someone, sex with them should be awesome. Case closed.

 

You know what each flavor of ice cream in the store tastes like before you buy it, right. You know what vanilla tastes like. You know what chocolate tastes like. You can pretty much determine whether or not you would like either one. So, the problem with sex is??

 

Besides...

 

what unbelievable loser with no sense of anyone else's feelings would dump someone because they were a "dud" in bed. I've never quite understood this. What, they didn't do every little tiny thing right? What if the girl is uncomfortable with blow jobs? The guy's gonna dump her then? That's pretty cruel, selfish and heartless. You should care more about what the person is comfortable with, rather than pushing them into something they're not comfortable with, to satisfy you... and pretty soon, after awhile, what do ya know...they may get comfortable with it. But if they try it and don't like it and don't do every little tiny thing you like in bed, you're gonna dump them?

 

Seems like the "world view" on sex is pretty convoluted, twisted, and something I don't want to be apart of.

 

I think I'll hold onto my V card awhile longer, because I cherish it like no other.

[Floridaman]

I don't understand this line of thinking. If you love someone, sex with them should be awesome. Case closed.

 

You know what each flavor of ice cream in the store tastes like before you buy it, right. You know what vanilla tastes like. You know what chocolate tastes like. You can pretty much determine whether or not you would like either one. So, the problem with sex is??

 

Besides...

 

what unbelievable loser with no sense of anyone else's feelings would dump someone because they were a "dud" in bed. I've never quite understood this. What, they didn't do every little tiny thing right? What if the girl is uncomfortable with blow jobs? The guy's gonna dump her then? That's pretty cruel, selfish and heartless. You should care more about what the person is comfortable with, rather than pushing them into something they're not comfortable with, to satisfy you... and pretty soon, after awhile, what do ya know...they may get comfortable with it. But if they try it and don't like it and don't do every little tiny thing you like in bed, you're gonna dump them?

 

Seems like the "world view" on sex is pretty convoluted, twisted, and something I don't want to be apart of.

 

I think I'll hold onto my V card awhile longer, because I cherish it like no other.

Wow. Well-stated for a determined young woman.

[DreamerGirl27]

I don't understand this line of thinking. If you love someone, sex with them should be awesome. Case closed.

 

How lovely the ingenuity of a virgin is. What isn't in this world is a lack of an abundance of couples who are living the chemical stage known as love, but aren't satisfied with their sex life. Maybe the woman doesn't want to try out new positions. Maybe the guy doesn't last long. Maybe he's impaired down there. Countless reasons exist for the lack of awesomeness in the sexual life of the people who are in 'love'.

 

Sex can be pretty awesome without feelings involved, but the vast majority of the men in their early 20's are trying out for a world record - of how fast they can reach the finishing line!

 

What kind of sick pervert actually cares if his wife doesn't want to try out new positions? And vice versa for the woman who has a problem with a medical problem her husband may have.

[kiss_andmakeup]

what unbelievable loser with no sense of anyone else's feelings would dump someone because they were a "dud" in bed.

 

What kind of sick pervert actually cares if his wife doesn't want to try out new positions?

 

Sexual incompatibility is a dealbreaker for a lot of people. It doesn't make them losers or perverts. It just makes them people whose values are different from yours. If my boyfriend never wanted to try new positions and wanted to do it missionary every day, every time, you had better bet it wouldn't work out. And I assure you that I am far from a "sick pervert."

 

And ohhh the irony. In your last few posts you have called people "losers" and "perverts" who have simply stated that they don't share your personal views on sex. And yet you continue to desperately pine over someone who most clearly also doesn't share your views on sex. Isn't he then, by your reasoning, an unbelievable loser and a pervert?

 

If you want to wait, that's fine. It's a personal choice and you alone can make it. Just realize that your dating options will continue to be extremely limited, more and more so as you get older. Your best bet for meeting like minded men is going to be church groups/functions or religion targeted dating sites (isn't there a christiansingles.com or something?).

Edited April 20, 2011 by kiss_andmakeup

[DreamerGirl27]

Sexual incompatibility is a dealbreaker for a lot of people. It doesn't make them losers or perverts. It just makes them people whose values are different from yours. If my boyfriend never wanted to try new positions and wanted to do it missionary every day, every time, you had better bet it wouldn't work out. And I assure you that I am far from a "sick pervert."

 

And ohhh the irony. In your last few posts you have called people "losers" and "perverts" who have simply stated that they don't share your personal views on sex. And yet you continue to desperately pine over someone who most clearly also doesn't share your views on sex. Isn't he then, by your reasoning, an unbelievable loser and a pervert?

 

If you want to wait, that's fine. It's a personal choice and you alone can make it. Just realize that your dating options will continue to be extremely limited, more and more so as you get older. Your best bet for meeting like minded men is going to be church groups/functions or religion targeted dating sites (isn't there a christiansingles.com or something?).

 

You have to pay for all the Christian sites and I don't want a thing to do with church at this point in my life.

 

and yes, while my friend isn't a loser, he has some very conflicting and flat out heinous views on sex, as do you.

 

It's not that big of a deal. Wait til you're married and quit making it such an important and huge part of your life. It's just sex.

 

[kiss_andmakeup]

You have to pay for all the Christian sites and I don't want a thing to do with church at this point in my life.

 

and yes, while my friend isn't a loser, he has some very conflicting and flat out heinous views on sex, as do you.

 

It's not that big of a deal. Wait til you're married and quit making it such an important and huge part of your life. It's just sex.

 

 

Actually I'm pretty happy with sex being a huge and important part of my life; as I've found someone that I'm extremely compatible with. But that's irrelevant because I didn't start this thread or solicit your "advice" (sage and all knowing as it may be).

 

Note that I didn't try to push my lifestyle on you, and try to show the same couresy for me and other posters here.

 

Now, back to my deliciously heinus and sinful sex-filled life.

Edited April 21, 2011 by kiss_andmakeup

[Floridaman]

I don't understand this line of thinking. If you love someone, sex with them should be awesome. Case closed.

 

How lovely the ingenuity of a virgin is. What isn't in this world is a lack of an abundance of couples who are living the chemical stage known as love, but aren't satisfied with their sex life.

 

Maybe the woman doesn't want to try out new positions.

Maybe the guy doesn't last long.

Maybe he's impaired down there. Countless reasons exist for the lack of awesomeness in the sexual life of the people who are in 'love'.

 

Sex can be pretty awesome without feelings involved, but the vast majority of the men in their early 20's are trying out for a world record - of how fast they can reach the finishing line!

That last part shouldn't be the goal, as you state.

Admit I was often like that.... went as fast as I could to get my pleasure...

But that doesn't really pleasure the woman, who needs long periods of foreplay and stimulation before and after the man finishes, if this isn't TMI...

 

Read all this years later in books on marital sexual expression... These books, secular and Christian, have really helped...

Edited April 21, 2011 by Floridaman