Want to wait till marriage for sex, but like a guy who does not believe that way.

[Floridaman]

Deadly serious here..

 

At this point I would like to re-introduce the vibrator idea. Don't wait for any man to make that side of things happen for you..

 

You may even begin to look at him and then look at the vibrator and tell him you are busy most nights..

 

Take care,

Eve x

Dreamer,

I agree. That's a good way to seek release. Young men, who may need release even more, shouldn't feel bad about that kind of activity.

There's nothing inherently wrong about self-stimulation and can certainly be better than seeking such fulfilment elsewhere, IMHO. Yes, I used to feel guilty about MB'ing...

[DreamerGirl27]

I'd recommend going no contact with him. He's not your type.

If he falls for you, let him "chase" you.

You've told him your principles.

He does'nt seem interested in respecting them and like other posters here said, he's not your type.

 

He's only after one thing. He should be after you, your mind and love, not your body.

He can get a willing woman's body anywhere.

 

Dreamer,

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a guy or gal holding to their principles and waiting.

Some, like me, who had sex early (in HS before becoming a Christian) lived like a semi-virgin in their 20s and tried to wait for the right one.

 

I'm 48 and married, but if I were back in my late 20s/early 30s before I met my love, I would find no problem with your stance. Or with you being a virgin.

 

Though not a virgin, the woman I married had only one partner, a fiance who she engaged in sex with after engagement (similar to your idea). That ended when he cheated on her. His loss, my gain.

 

And I wouldn't press you for sex. Really.

As a guy, I can't say I wouldn't have sexual feelings and wouldn't want to see how far I could go in heavy petting, etc., but how far we went would be totally controlled by you, as it always is with the other partner (in any relationship), for whatever reason.

 

TBH, bec. I was in my early 30s and relationship- and sex-starved (had never been engaged, though ALMOST had a fiance, a 30 y.o. virgin), I likely would not have turned down a woman I was in a long-term relationship with if she offered (and I could see the potential).

 

Actually I did resist a couple of offers at 27 and 28 bec. I wasn't really in love with the women and had a lot of regrets from two casual sex encounters I had at 26. Those incidents left me feeling worse and more lonely than before.

I did have intimacy with my future wife 6 mos. after I turned 30, but it was a monogomous, committed relationship which led to marriage.

 

I keep telling some of these virgin men in their late 20s and 30s that women won't laugh at them if they discover they're virgins and that they should wait for the right girl instead of visiting a brothel or having a meaningless encounter somewhere where they don't even know the girl's name.

Perhaps I need to link to your posting to show them there are women like you.

 

Some of them seem to think ALL women have sexed it up by their mid-20s and only want to date "bad guys."

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=170081&p=4684773&viewfull=1#post4684773

 

So stick to your principles. There are guys out there that aren't players who only want one thing.

 

Thank you for your response, but no, I am not going no contact with him. I'm pretty sure he's all talk and no game. He seems like a good guy...I just know he likes to talk about sex a lot. With me. I have no idea what he's doing with other girls on his page. I know he hasn't had a steady girlfriend since I've been talking to him and I'm also fairly certain he hasn't had sex with any of 'em, either. So, he says he wants it, yet hasn't gotten it in over a year? Doesn't make any sense...

 

Anyway...

 

He says he's a player, but he doesn't play. He just chats online with girls. He won't even call a girl who's not his girlfriend. I find that incredibly morally conscious.

 

He seems like a good guy, but he's 22 and probably doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. Neither do I.

 

I am perfectly fine being his friend for now. I am attracted to him and that's the bottom line. I am incredibly picky and he's the most attractive man to me. No joke. There are maybe 2 other guys I find attractive that I know, but he wins.

 

I'm just not attracted to the majority of the male population.

 

I will not settle and right now he is the only thing I am seeing in my future and if he's not in future then I'll just be single in my future.

 

I can be very stubborn and I refuse to settle for anything less than what I'm looking for. I'll just be his friend and chill out and see where life takes me. Right now, it's exactly where I want it to be. A really cool friend who I'm totally attracted to, but I don't have any strings attached to me to make me feel pressured to do anything or whatever...

 

Totally fine with that. In fact, I'm pretty sure this is every girl's dream, because women tend to friend zone men more than the other way around. So, I'll just enjoy his company while I can and see where it goes.

 

P.S. The women in this thread who think I feel bad about MBing are hilarious. Since when does not wanting to have sex with another human being yet turn to that?

[Eve]

P.S. The women in this thread who think I feel bad about MBing are hilarious. Since when does not wanting to have sex with another human being yet turn to that?

 

I think you have misunderstood my comment... but never mind.

 

All the best,

Take care,

Eve x

[Ross PK]

Seems quite sad how religon makes you guys have so many issues with having a healthy sex life, or masturbation.

 

Yes, I know, at least some of you guys are getting some, or at least have a partner, right?

[Floridaman]

Seems quite sad how religon makes you guys have so many issues with having a healthy sex life, or masturbation.

 

Yes, I know, at least some of you guys are getting some, or at least have a partner, right?

I heard a major talk radio host quote this tonight:

 

Rabbi Hanina ben Dosa said:

He whose fear of sin takes precedence over his wisdom, his wisdom endures;

but he whose wisdom takes precedence over his fear of sin, his wisdom does not endure.

 

He used to say:

He whose deeds exceed his wisdom, his wisdom endures; but he whose wisdom exceeds his deeds, his wisdom does not endure.

[Ross PK]

Lol, I'll get back to you on that, whatever it means.

[Floridaman]

I'm 35 years old, never had a sexual experience with a woman before, and never even experienced a woman being attracted to me. I know this is the way things will be for the rest of my life.

What makes you think the past will be the determiner of your future?

 

You can change things.

[DreamerGirl27]

I'm not afraid of anything, I'm just not interested in sex right now. At least not with a human being.

[DreamerGirl27]

Seems quite sad how religon makes you guys have so many issues with having a healthy sex life, or masturbation.

 

Yes, I know, at least some of you guys are getting some, or at least have a partner, right?

 

I has nothing to do with my religion. In fact, I hate church and refuse to go. It all has everything to do with me. I want a meaningful relationship, not a booty call/friends with benefits or one night stand.

 

I want a relationship.

[Floridaman]

Let's get technical. During orgasm, oxytocin is released. This is commonly known as the "love hormone" since it causes bonding within individuals who don't have the single or duplicate gene variant allele 334 ("cheating gene").

 

Add in how you view sex from a moral perspective, where your psyche has tied love, sex and commitment into one bundle.

 

Now put this all together and you'll find a recipe for disaster if you engage in casual sex with someone you're already bonding to through friendship and romantic feelings, where he appears to be looking for fun.

 

This will not end well.

That is well-stated. Hadn't thought of it like that.

[Eddie Edirol]

I has nothing to do with my religion. In fact, I hate church and refuse to go. It all has everything to do with me. I want a meaningful relationship, not a booty call/friends with benefits or one night stand.

 

I want a relationship.

 

The sooner you move on from this guy, the sooner you will get the meaningful relationship you want. he aint givin it to you anytime soon, dont wait for him.

[DreamerGirl27]

and who do you suppose I get in a relationship with? The rest of the ugly men on my facebook page...negative.

 

There is no one else in my life I am interested in. Therefore, I have no choice but to wait for him or someone else and with the type I like...that's not going to happen anytime soon, and I've already stated, I don't want a relationship or sex right now. I feel oversexed already just talking to this dude...don't want to get into a relationship with him and then actually have to do it.

 

I am fine being his friend, no I'm not going to not talk to him, so please stop repeating yourselves everyone.

[DreamerGirl27]

Originally Posted by threebyfate

Let's get technical. During orgasm, oxytocin is released. This is commonly known as the "love hormone" since it causes bonding within individuals who don't have the single or duplicate gene variant allele 334 ("cheating gene").

 

Add in how you view sex from a moral perspective, where your psyche has tied love, sex and commitment into one bundle.

 

Now put this all together and you'll find a recipe for disaster if you engage in casual sex with someone you're already bonding to through friendship and romantic feelings, where he appears to be looking for fun.

 

This will not end well.

 

 

Who said I was going to cave to him? You really do not know who you're posting to, do you? I will remain his friend, but if anything is ever going to "happen" it will be him caving to me, not the other way around.

 

I'm the woman, I hold all the cards as far as sex is concerned.

 

I'm just gonna play it cool and see if he comes around in the future or...be single. Not the end of the world. I enjoy my freedom. I also enjoy my virginity.

[Eve]

**** me, this guy must be HOTT!

 

Hope it works out. You have to do what you have to do.

 

Only other thing I can suggest is to pray and ask God to guard your sexuality. I did this at your age when my sexuality was like a Supernova. I think I may have imploded and taken a few planets with me if I had not met my Husband one year later.

 

Glad I went through that though rather than just screwing around. Urgh!

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Eve]

Dr Lector..

 

I wish LS had a sideline betting facility on guessing new users with dubious names from the line up of regular posters.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Ross PK]

What makes you think the past will be the determiner of your future?

 

It's very unlikely that I'll just wake up one morning, and suddenly eveything will have changed and women will be attracted to me, if they never have been for the whole 35 years of my life.

 

You can change things.

 

I can't. If women aren't attracted to me, then there is no way I can make them be attracted to me.

Edited March 17, 2011 by Ross PK

[Eddie Edirol]

 

 

Who said I was going to cave to him? You really do not know who you're posting to, do you? I will remain his friend, but if anything is ever going to "happen" it will be him caving to me, not the other way around.

 

I'm the woman, I hold all the cards as far as sex is concerned.

 

I'm just gonna play it cool and see if he comes around in the future or...be single. Not the end of the world. I enjoy my freedom. I also enjoy my virginity.

 

How do you enjoy your virginity? Theres nothing to enjoy,.... Ive seen your other posts, and if you think you hold all the cards, youre sadly mistaken. As youve already learned, guys you want dont want you for anything meaningful. Do you even want to know why? If not, you are going to be lonely for a long time. You know how lonely you are now, and wont admit it directly, but you NEED this guy for friendship so bad, because you cant bear cutting him off, so you can hold on to hope. You really need help. You dont even realize how you sound.

[Eve]

Yeah... I was gonna go with Dr Lecter but I really think Lector sounds better. And seeing as how Hannibal Lecter first appeared as Hannibal Lecktor in the 1986 movie Manhunter starring Brian Cox I thought it was appropriate to combine Lecktor and Lecter into simply Lector.

 

Shut up! You are too funny!

 

Come come now you lot. Don't wind the poor girl up too much though. Give her room to think she can come back here when it all goes wrong at least. Or even to show us wedding pics and say, 'So there, you bunch of know all bastards'..

 

None of us think this is a good idea but she wants to hold out .. at 26 ... for a 22 year old .. who has told her he just wants sex right now... without even directing the statement singly towards her... without a vibrator for back up..

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Ross PK]

 

How do you enjoy your virginity? Theres nothing to enjoy,.... Ive seen your other posts, and if you think you hold all the cards, youre sadly mistaken. As youve already learned, guys you want dont want you for anything meaningful. Do you even want to know why? If not, you are going to be lonely for a long time. You know how lonely you are now, and wont admit it directly, but you NEED this guy for friendship so bad, because you cant bear cutting him off, so you can hold on to hope. You really need help. You dont even realize how you sound.

 

I'm not sure how anyone could enjoy virginity either.

[tryingtocurerj]

as a 23 year old guy, I think you sticking to your morals is an amazing thing. Most guys that are out for sex, when they see a girl who hasnt had it, they want to be the first, it adds to their "conquest" ego. Once they have sex with a virgin, they usually move on. You just have a case of being attracted to the wrong guy, who will use you for the wrong reasons. DONT LET IT HAPPEN!!!

 

Stick to your guns!!!

 

You'll be able to be one of the very few who can honestly wear white at her wedding.

[Floridaman]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t253953/

 

The "no sex before marriage" attitude is exactly why you are in a sexless marriage.

 

Christian women hate sex, it really is that simple.

Not buyin' that.

Clearly, she does have some hang-ups, as she came from a Catholic family background. I've read a lot about how that background affects attitudes, so I don't think it's something specifically related to Christianity.

 

After all, she wasn't so reluctant while we were dating.....

[Floridaman]

Originally Posted by Floridaman

You can change things.

I can't. If women aren't attracted to me, then there is no way I can make them be attracted to me.

How do you know that?

You don't know what next week, next month, next year or even tomorrow is gonna bring you.

 

This is a negative attitude that isn't borne out by facts.

Originally Posted by Floridaman

What makes you think the past will be the determiner of your future?

It's very unlikely that I'll just wake up one morning, and suddenly eveything will have changed and women will be attracted to me, if they never have been for the whole 35 years of my life.

You're right about things not changing just by waking up.

If you keep things status quo, they're gonna stay the same - frustrating with little success.

Do you want that?

 

If you work at it harder, and get yourself out there meeting women in all sorts of venues - church singles groups, other singles groups, activities, universities, social functions, meetings with friends, bus.-oriented groups (yes, single women frequent those) etc. -

within 4-5 years, you could find youself

-in a serious relationship

-engaged

-or married.

 

Understand it's a little hard to believe and I may not have believed it had someone told me that when I was 25-26....but it's true. I met my future wife in a blind date arranged by a bus. colleague just 3 mos. after I turned 30!

3 years later we married.

 

You've gotten a late start at this and need to do something to ramp up your activity.

Edited March 18, 2011 by Floridaman

[threebyfate]

Who said I was going to cave to him? You really do not know who you're posting to, do you? I will remain his friend, but if anything is ever going to "happen" it will be him caving to me, not the other way around.

 

I'm the woman, I hold all the cards as far as sex is concerned.

 

I'm just gonna play it cool and see if he comes around in the future or...be single. Not the end of the world. I enjoy my freedom. I also enjoy my virginity.

 

Firstly, reread my post and understand the word "if" and how it impacts on the meaning within sentence structure.

 

Next, you're welcome to play your game. Good luck with that and I don't just mean in terms of your purported "situation".

[DreamerGirl27]

as a 23 year old guy, I think you sticking to your morals is an amazing thing. Most guys that are out for sex, when they see a girl who hasnt had it, they want to be the first, it adds to their "conquest" ego. Once they have sex with a virgin, they usually move on. You just have a case of being attracted to the wrong guy, who will use you for the wrong reasons. DONT LET IT HAPPEN!!!

 

Stick to your guns!!!

 

You'll be able to be one of the very few who can honestly wear white at her wedding.

 

thanks tryingtocurerj...

 

I know men view virgins as like this huge prize, and all women should be viewed as a prize, but I don't want just the fact that I'm a virgin to be the only thing someone is after.

 

Wearing white honestly would be a dream to me.

 

I'm just so worried this guy's going to cave to my wanting a relationship and then I'LL cave to sex, because regardless of whatever these trolls wanna say, I crave sex like any normal, natural human being does.

 

I'm just smart enough to know when to do it and when to hold out.

 

If he were to get into a relationship with me, I don't know if I'd be able to turn him down... but, I most definitely am NOT giving him a one night stand/friends with benefits/booty call or anything like that.

 

Right now all he knows is I want a meaningful relationship, he also knows I like him like that, and he still has not run for the hills. If he wants to make that wish come true, I'm gonna have a hell of a time telling him "no". lol yes, to whoever said this guy must be hot, to me, yes he is. He's not even your typical hot that I'm thinking most people would be thinking...he's MY kind of hott. lol

 

I don't know what I'm doing, but I wanna detox from talking to him for a bit. He's driving me nuts. lol On the one hand, I want it (sex) on the other hand, I know better and I'm not going to throw myself at him in that way. I want more than that from him, he's worth more than that.

 

Anyway...

 

thanks again for your post. I hope I make it to the altar being able to honestly wear white, because at this point in time, if I get what I want, a serious relationship with this guy...I dunno if I can hold out that long. lol HE'S TOO DANG ADORABLE!!!!!!!!

[Floridaman]

Originally Posted by Floridaman

I'd recommend going no contact with him. He's not your type.

If he falls for you, let him "chase" you.

You've told him your principles.

He does'nt seem interested in respecting them and like other posters here said, he's not your type.

 

He's only after one thing. He should be after you, your mind and love, not your body.

He can get a willing woman's body anywhere.

 

Dreamer,

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a guy or gal holding to their principles and waiting.

Some, like me, who had sex early (in HS before becoming a Christian) lived like a semi-virgin in their 20s and tried to wait for the right one.

 

I'm 48 and married, but if I were back in my late 20s/early 30s before I met my love, I would find no problem with your stance. Or with you being a virgin.

 

Though not a virgin, the woman I married had only one partner, a fiance who she engaged in sex with after engagement (similar to your idea). That ended when he cheated on her. His loss, my gain.

 

And I wouldn't press you for sex. Really.

As a guy, I can't say I wouldn't have sexual feelings and wouldn't want to see how far I could go in heavy petting, etc., but how far we went would be totally controlled by you, as it always is with the other partner (in any relationship), for whatever reason.

 

TBH, bec. I was in my early 30s and relationship- and sex-starved (had never been engaged, though ALMOST had a fiance, a 30 y.o. virgin), I likely would not have turned down a woman I was in a long-term relationship with if she offered (and I could see the potential).

 

Actually I did resist a couple of offers at 27 and 28 bec. I wasn't really in love with the women and had a lot of regrets from two casual sex encounters I had at 26. Those incidents left me feeling worse and more lonely than before.

I did have intimacy with my future wife 6 mos. after I turned 30, but it was a monogomous, committed relationship which led to marriage.

 

I keep telling some of these virgin men in their late 20s and 30s that women won't laugh at them if they discover they're virgins and that they should wait for the right girl instead of visiting a brothel or having a meaningless encounter somewhere where they don't even know the girl's name.

Perhaps I need to link to your posting to show them there are women like you.

 

Some of them seem to think ALL women have sexed it up by their mid-20s and only want to date "bad guys."

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showt...=1#post4684773

 

So stick to your principles. There are guys out there that aren't players who only want one thing.

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t253953/

 

The "no sex before marriage" attitude is exactly why you are in a sexless marriage.

 

Christian women hate sex, it really is that simple.

That's a cheap shot, Wayne.

To dredge up a current problem I'm having in my marriage, and throw it up here in this forum as some sort of proof of your irrational views.

 

Religious attitudes certainly contribute to a person's feelings and actions towards sex (and most other things in life), but nonreligious people suffer in sexless marriages as well.

 

Just read that sexless marriage forum.