Read my GF's emails to her ex-WTF!!!!

[whyowhy]

Story goes like this. She was with her ex for 3 years and they broke up last May. He broke it off with her because she became a party girl and coundn't stand her friends(they couldn't stand him either)because they were pretty much the same. He's older than her (34ish) and she is 23. She took it pretty hard initially-until she met me about a week later. We all lived in the same apartment building (her, her friends and myself), while her ex owns his own house in another town nearby. Well anyway we hit it off bigtime and had the most amazing summer together. We all partied together and just ahd so much fun. We truly fell in love and promised to do all the right things in our relationship. Then as time went along we began to begin to fight and fight bigtime.

 

Well as for her ex, she stomped on him pretty good when we got togther. She would say the nastiest things to him but from what I could tell he just pretty much kept his cool and wouldn't react (I would have lost my mind, most people would have)..Well then he just sort of faded away and went away. That was great for me becasue I then knew it was over and he wasn't going to be a factor.

 

OK heres the problem-Her email was up on my computer and I noticed she initiated contact with him. I'm going to list them numerically instead of trying to type it all verbatim. This all happened from October until December. Sometimes he would reply and sometimes he wouldn't

 

1. Asking if she was ever good enough for him?

2. Telling him how nobody will ever compare to him.

3.Telling him how he crosses her mind all of the time

4. She misses being at his house and cuddling up with each other all day on Sundays

5. Drives by his house on the way to work and it always reminds her of the amazing times they had there togther

6. That the dog they got togther misses him.

7. Missed going on vacation to his families lakehouse over the summer (they used to go there togthr alone a few times a year)

 

NOW THE REALLY BAD PART

 

8. Misses making love to him

9. Nobody compares to him in bed.

10. Misses sucking his whatever.

11. Misses him inside of her

12. Misses him kissing the back of her neck.

 

I'm done with this part-BELIEVE ME THERE WAS FAR MORE THAN i CARE TO TYPE!!!!

 

So anyway I didn't see much else since December other than asking hima few question that she already knows the answer to (don't know what's up with that) ..With all of this why wold she have done this??? They have been broken up 9 months which is how long we have been together. BTW we moved into a new apartment togther about 5 months ago. Was she just f***ing with him? I just don't get it and I love her so much

[Stilicho]

sorry to break it to you man, but it seems like you were/are a rebound for her. the way i see it, is either you confront her about this, than decide what you want to do by gauging her reaction, or end ut before he decides to show a little interest, which will probably make her run to him.

[PegNosePete]

No need to pretend she just left her email open in front of you... you snooped... nothing wrong with admitting that, we won't criticize you for it

 

She is obviously still hung up on her ex. You're the rebound guy, sorry dude. I would ditch her and move on.

[Eddie Edirol]

Ditch her and move on buddy. Dont pick up rebounds anymore. You can tell by the emails that she wasnt messing with him, she means it. Remember he dumped her, so she will still be hung up on him, and you havent made her forget about him, which was why she dated you in the first place.

 

Theres too much evidence. Dump her now, let her go back to him. Theres plenty other party girls just like her that you can have tons of fun with. matter of fact, go try to get with one of her friends now - while they know you are with her. Tell them what happened, those young girls dont want to be alone.

[whyowhy]

No need to pretend she just left her email open in front of you... you snooped... nothing wrong with admitting that, we won't criticize you for it

 

She is obviously still hung up on her ex. You're the rebound guy, sorry dude. I would ditch her and move on.

 

 

I did snoop, I'll admit it. I wouldn't have if it wasn't logged into already because I don't have a clue what her password is. I found all of this out about 2 weeks ago. I've been on here reading ever since but couldn't really find a similair story so I joined.

1.I've read on her that rebounds don't usually last-we are still together(as in the same bed every night)

2. I also read on her that exes rarely ever come back

3. People do this type of thing to their exes to F with them (hoping she wrote that not being sincere)

 

I mean we live together. Were all over FB togther. Everyone knows he's gone and it's us. How could she possible want to go back to him?!?!?! Oh I forgot the best email was about me BTW. She told him that I have a temper and was verbally abusive and emotional-I will admit I have a temper. All of his responses excpet for the sexual parts of her emails were all nonchalant and it seems like that drove her nuts form what I could see-I'm so confused

[broken-and-lost]

sorry fella but your the rebound and as much as you like her you never should have got involved with a girl that had only just split up with her boyfriend a week ago people are venerable just after break ups. I'm not saying you deserve to be treated this way but you also must have known what the score was.

[whyowhy]

Ditch her and move on buddy. Dont pick up rebounds anymore. You can tell by the emails that she wasnt messing with him, she means it. Remember he dumped her, so she will still be hung up on him, and you havent made her forget about him, which was why she dated you in the first place.

 

Theres too much evidence. Dump her now, let her go back to him. Theres plenty other party girls just like her that you can have tons of fun with. matter of fact, go try to get with one of her friends now - while they know you are with her. Tell them what happened, those young girls dont want to be alone.

 

 

She's not really a party girls anymore. She's sort of settled down now. He just couldn't be around people like us because he's older and he's also in law enforcement. I'm 29 BTW but I still like to go out and go a little crazy sometimes. I guess he's Mr responsible...Is she looking back?

[radiodarcy]

ouch ouch ouch and double ouch! that would be enough to send me running for the hills! nothing hurts more than being a rebound. and to find out the way you did is like rubbing salt in the wound. don't let her have her cake and eat it too -- get out of there NOW!

[betterdeal]

You live together and she split up with the other guy last May? That's a pretty rapid turn of events. You and her have had an in-between relationship. Now it's over and you're ready to move on. Say goodbye, wish her luck and be glad you now have the freedom to have your own place, and do what the hell you like without her.

 

Trust me, don't get angry, just move on and forget about her.

[PegNosePete]

1.I've read on her that rebounds don't usually last-we are still together(as in the same bed every night)

2. I also read on her that exes rarely ever come back

3. People do this type of thing to their exes to F with them (hoping she wrote that not being sincere)

If you're looking for what you want to see, then you will find it.

 

Sorry dude... this one is a no-winner... you need to ditch her and move on.

[whyowhy]

I haven't seen anything bad though since December. Like I said though she I noticed she will email him every so often about something random. Like last week she asked some stupid question about her car-that I could have easily answered for her.

 

As far as me being a rebound? I don't treally think I am. I will admit the relationship moved fast and we are not in the honeymoon stage anymore but it has been 9 months and we live together and of coures our facebooks. There's just too much because of all of this for her to really even try to go back to him.

 

It is bothering me though. Oh she also told him that he is the one true love of her life (that hurts)....Is she maybe comparing him to me? I guess he is sort of his own guy. From what she's told me he's settled down has his own house, has a really good job, and isn't into the party scene...It's all just so confusing-I want to make sure I do the right thing

[Layzie89]

Heres what you do: Pack all your belongings one day while she's away at work or something and move it out of the house. Print out all the emails, staple it together and leave it on the kitchen table then just leave.

 

She's a cheat. Get out now and be happy you found out about before you invested any more time in this relationship. I'm sorry.

[whyowhy]

I was thinking about this situation of mine and talking to a girlfriend of mine about it. She said what could be happeneing is because he's familiar to her she could just be reaching out to him for her own ego not necesarily wanting him back...which I could see her doing that....What bothers me the most though is the things she actually said to him. I haven't had an ex say those hings that blantely to me. I mean they were sort of graphic in some cases. What I can't wrap my head around is tht we've been together for 9 months. I wouldn't think he would even cross her mind at this point???? He would be a distant memory

[Layzie89]

I was thinking about this situation of mine and talking to a girlfriend of mine about it. She said what could be happeneing is because he's familiar to her she could just be reaching out to him for her own ego not necesarily wanting him back...which I could see her doing that....What bothers me the most though is the things she actually said to him. I haven't had an ex say those hings that blantely to me. I mean they were sort of graphic in some cases. What I can't wrap my head around is tht we've been together for 9 months. I wouldn't think he would even cross her mind at this point???? He would be a distant memory

Her asking how hes been, or saying I miss you woulf be reaching out. Her telling him how she misses his cock inside her and nobody compares to him in bed is way beyond it. In either case, why would you want to be with her when she's still in contact with him like this?

[layla1983]

I'll bet she's still madly in love with her ex even though both of you live together. I'm in the same situation in that I live with ny current boyfriedn that I jumped into things with after my breakup. When I met him I fell head over heals in love with him, well I thought I did. Compared to my ex he's a complete tool!!! Sometimes I reach out to my ex for basically no apparent reason. The reason I do it is because I miss him terribly. I miss everything about him. I F***ed up with him bigtime. I thought I wanted a party guy and guess what I got one and left the most amazing man I've ever met behind, even though he broke up with me. I really didn't give him a choice-he had to

 

I'm sorry to say this to you during this time but my opinion is that she misses every little single thing about him. Do you have any idea what I would do if he reached out to me??? He won't because he's so above the things I've dome to him but if he did I would run to him so quickly

[whyowhy]

I'll bet she's still madly in love with her ex even though both of you live together. I'm in the same situation in that I live with ny current boyfriedn that I jumped into things with after my breakup. When I met him I fell head over heals in love with him, well I thought I did. Compared to my ex he's a complete tool!!! Sometimes I reach out to my ex for basically no apparent reason. The reason I do it is because I miss him terribly. I miss everything about him. I F***ed up with him bigtime. I thought I wanted a party guy and guess what I got one and left the most amazing man I've ever met behind, even though he broke up with me. I really didn't give him a choice-he had to

 

I'm sorry to say this to you during this time but my opinion is that she misses every little single thing about him. Do you have any idea what I would do if he reached out to me??? He won't because he's so above the things I've dome to him but if he did I would run to him so quickly

 

 

This is my worst fear. Why in the hell would you still be with your current boyfriend if you still felt this way? Are you sure your not just remembering all the good things and not the negative side? I'll admit things between my girlfriend and I have not been going well and I do have a temper. I'll work on that. Have you lost feeling towards your boyfriend already?

[layla1983]

This is my worst fear. Why in the hell would you still be with your current boyfriend if you still felt this way? Are you sure your not just remembering all the good things and not the negative side? I'll admit things between my girlfriend and I have not been going well and I do have a temper. I'll work on that. Have you lost feeling towards your boyfriend already?

 

You could say that I'm remembering all of the good things and then some. My ex is amazing in every way shape and form. When I met my current I guess he sort of rescued me from being heartbroken and all of my friends loved him. Now though after some time has gone by my current just doesn't compare to my ex. The reason I'm still with him is beacuse I'm trying to give it a shot and we now live together which complicates everything. I'll tell you right now though if they both showed up in the same place at the same time and I had to make a choice right then and there, I wouldn't have too much thinkng to do

[Mcnulty]

I ditched my ex, the next week she got a new guy, unbeknown to me. She kept ringing and texting me begging for another chance at us, saying she'll never love anyone the way she loves me etc. I rebuffed her and moved on. She did all of this to her new guy..the rebound...10 months later,(now) she is still with him and sent me her new number out of the blue recently..WTF!!!

 

I view their relationship with disdain..it's false and she's making do i think, cos she hates being on her own....but she was a bitch to me, so I'm hoping karma bites her ass off eventually.

 

If I was you and had read the stuff she's sent him there's no way I could ever put value on the relationship I have with her, I would feel like second best and that if he clicked his fingers, she'd come a running...no way to live your life, looking behind you all the time.

 

Time to move on for you, definitely.

[whyowhy]

You could say that I'm remembering all of the good things and then some. My ex is amazing in every way shape and form. When I met my current I guess he sort of rescued me from being heartbroken and all of my friends loved him. Now though after some time has gone by my current just doesn't compare to my ex. The reason I'm still with him is beacuse I'm trying to give it a shot and we now live together which complicates everything. I'll tell you right now though if they both showed up in the same place at the same time and I had to make a choice right then and there, I wouldn't have too much thinkng to do

 

So if this is actually the case with her, do you think she would consider going back to him? I mean we have all mutual friends, have met each others families, the whole nine yards. How can you walk away from all of that for an ex? It would make you look stupid I would think. What is so great about your ex anyways that would make you sill be in love wih him? What does he have thatyour current boyfriend doesn't?

 

Also I think too that she could have been doing that to stroke her ego for whatever reason

[sniffys]

wow oh man that ex..hhahaha.

 

well when she treated him like crap and got with you, he acted cool. thats why she was like..whats wrong with me? why isnt he chasing me?

 

so she chases him..for a reaction or whatever.

 

but still, what she is doing hurts you and you have to think if this is worth it. you cant be with a girl who loves you, and is right for you, as long as youre with this one.

 

well admittedly

 

she might be in love w/ her ex, or not, but the thing is that doesn't matter. that is probably all just 30 percent love and 70 percent hurt ego (that he didnt pursue her to come back).

 

im sort of speaking from past experience, with my ex 11 yrs ago.

Edited March 11, 2011 by sniffys

[whyowhy]

Ok so other than the explicit emails that I listed I haven't seen anymore like that since December. So with that I did a bunch of reading on here about why exes contact for seemingly no reason. What I came up with is that she is just sending him breadcrumbs so to speak to see if he'll bite. So maybe I can look past those crazy emails she sent a few months back and move on with her. If you look through this website it appears as if exes just text or email supid random things to their exes just to stroke their ego

[TheGrimSweeper]

Ok so other than the explicit emails that I listed I haven't seen anymore like that since December. So with that I did a bunch of reading on here about why exes contact for seemingly no reason. What I came up with is that she is just sending him breadcrumbs so to speak to see if he'll bite. So maybe I can look past those crazy emails she sent a few months back and move on with her. If you look through this website it appears as if exes just text or email supid random things to their exes just to stroke their ego

 

This would only be the case if she dumped him which isn't what happened.

[AlexDP]

She says she misses sucking his ...

 

I don't know man. That's sort of like a red flag to me.

[Layzie89]

Dude man the **** up. Stop trying to fish for reasoning to justify her behavior. You know it inside that what she's sending him is more than breadcrumbs. "I miss sucking your cock" and "I miss your cock inside me" is way beyond her just 'fishing' or ego boosting...you know it. Don't be blinded by love man. Your girl is clearly not over her ex and if she's not physically cheating on you now, it will happen soon enough.

 

Credentials: ex gf who cheated on me multiple times, I was too blinded to accept it.

[Beeotch]

That's horrible...but the truth is, it sounds like she was rebounding with you. I don't have respect for that.

 

I ALWAYS wonder how people get into relationships with people who were just in one a week before or even a month before...don't you find it weird???

 

My ex went on a series of rebounds one after the other and he would have these women's pictures and comments on his FB and didn't delete them then the next couple weeks he gets a new gf and does the same thing...and I always wondered if these women didn't question it or see that he just got out of a "relationship" like maybe 2 weeks or so before he started dating them. With his first rebound he would come visit me, text me all the time or call me saying he was thinking about me and it made me upset, because I realized that he was using this other girl so as not to be alone but CLEARLY was not over me. It was not attractive and I thought it was horrible on his part to do that to her knowing the truth. With his second rebound he didn't contact me for about 4 months then he finally did saying he missed me then broke up with her then started trying to date me again which also showed that even with this second girl she was a "space filler" and he was not over me. Maybe some people would be flattered...I wasn't, as these girls are human beings too and it made me sick to think how he gave them a title, brought them around his family, flaunted their "relationship" when he knew he wasn't invested and broke up with them overnight and would run back to me smh!

 

Anyway, for me that would raise a flag. I will not date anyone fresh out of a relationship as chances are they are rebounding esp when they rush to get serious. This sounds like the case. I'm sorry for how things turn out and I hope you're more aware next time. She isn't over him...and there is no way your relationship has a fair chance, never did. So I think it's time to send her packing.

Edited March 12, 2011 by Beeotch