danrs Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Man, I read through this whole thing, and let me tell you, you have lost even more of her respect. She stopped 4 months ago? Big fuhreakin' deal dude! That means she was doing this after seeing you for 8 months or so?!!!! And you confronted her about it, she promised she'd stop (not one person here believed that b.s.), and then she didn't stop. You really want her heart with you and not the other guy? Grow a pair. A big pair. Instead of spending your time here trying to look for assurances she loves you and not him, start hitting the "apartment finder" websites. Find a place. Sign a lease. Make moving arrangements. Carry on with her as though everything is fine, and tell her not one peep about what you're doing. Then one day when she's at work, you have the moving company come in and move every last bit of your chit out of the place and into your new place. If you're too non-commital to sign a lease at this point, at least have a moving company move everything out into storage. Don't leave a thing behind, except a simple handwritten message on the kitchen counter that says this, and not a word more: I was looking at and old pic of u and I at camp fishing. I miss those days with you and it made me wonder what really happened between us..hope your well xoxox those days were simpe and filled with love Be a man and stand up for yourself. Show her you are more than she thought you were, because right now she sees you as chit on her shoe. IF YOU BELIEVE FOR ONE SECOND THAT IF HER EX CONTACTED HER TODAY AND SAID HE'D TAKE HER BACK, THAT SHE WOULDN'T DROP YOU FASTER THAN A HOT ROCK, YOU ARE DELUSIONAL. She will do it, and she'll do it without an ounce of remorse. Until YOU become the "one that got away" and not the ex that stood up for himself and dumped her on her no azz, HE will be the one she wants. She wants someone who will stand up for himself, and you are not doing it. You have a fantastic opportunity to walk away from this now with your dignity and self respect in tact, and you are blowing it. Believe me, it is much, much easier to recover from a broken relationship when you have that, rather than when you have lost all of that and your confidence. Dump her, feel good about yourself, and feel even better as she now sends you those types of emails she was sending him. And then do as he did. Ignore her azz. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 So she promised no more contact. She said she was selfish for doing all of this. This was a few weeks cack now I guess. So this morning guess what she did?? Sends this "I was looking at and old pic of u and I at camp fishing. I miss those days with you and it made me wonder what really happened between us..hope your well xoxox those days were simpe and filled with love" Guess the promises didn't last long. I thought she loved me, but I guess she really is still in ove with him even though it's been going on a year now. You know it's funny because I've read so many stories on here about people going through breakups...I guess this is a third party thread that pertains to people maybe getting back together...This is the first one on here...I just wish I wasn' the one who wrote it Sometimes it doesn't matter how long you are with someone, people can exist in a relationship without putting 100% percent into it. All you need to do is exist and play the role to get what you want out of it. Duration of an R does not guarantee anything. My ex was with me for two years and told by year one he was bored of being in a R and that was why he was cheating. Did I know? No. He behaved like he was happy and loved being in an R with me. I don't believe you should confront her with this. I bet 100% she will turn and twist you into a pretzel and have you believe the devil possesed her and made her write it. And sadly, you would probably believe it seeing how emotionally attached you are to her. I would second just quietly moving out. Respecting yourself and showing her you have dignity is all you have now. Married couples who have been married for years have left homes, signed new leases, split assets, fought custody for children in order to move out and move on. If you really want to find a way to break away from her, you will find it. Sharing an apartment with a lot of stuff is just that. It should not be an excuse nor a reason to stay together or prolong a bad situation. Get your stuff out and find a new apartment or place to live. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whyowhy Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 I was hoping through this whole thing that there would be a ligth somehow at the end of the tunnel and she would stop and commit 100% to our relationship. I think she really does love this guy whoever he is. Part of my confusion throughout was wondering if that was actually the case. I know I should go and I will, but is she in love with him?? I'll try the best to do what he did and just drop off the face of the earth. Man this is CRAZY Link to post Share on other sites
GreenPolicy Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I was hoping through this whole thing that there would be a ligth somehow at the end of the tunnel and she would stop and commit 100% to our relationship. I think she really does love this guy whoever he is. Part of my confusion throughout was wondering if that was actually the case. I know I should go and I will, but is she in love with him?? I'll try the best to do what he did and just drop off the face of the earth. Man this is CRAZY Yes, she's still in love with him, and she decided she couldn't be alone to work on herself and heal, so she jumped immediately into another relationship with you. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I know I should go and I will, but is she in love with him?? I believe she has shown you time and time again that her attention is focused on him. Whether she feels love for him or she is in love with him does not matter. What matters is that she has not been emotionally faithful to you. This is what matters. You can ponder what she truly feels for him morning, noon, day and night and you will not get the answer you need. You should now be focusing on her betrayal towards you and chanelling those feelings of hurt and anger towards removing yourself from this woman. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 I was hoping through this whole thing that there would be a ligth somehow at the end of the tunnel and she would stop and commit 100% to our relationship. There isn't. She hasn't. I think she really does love this guy whoever he is. Part of my confusion throughout was wondering if that was actually the case. Nonsense. Utter arrant nonsense. What if she does? What if she doesn't? It makes no difference whatsoever. I know I should go and I will When? but is she in love with him?? Yes, she is. I asked her directly. No wait, I didn't, because I'm not there, and even if I did I know she's a liar so I can't trust anything she says. Man this is CRAZY Which bit? You making a million and one excuses for not doing something to make your own happiness or the fact the girl you're living with is thinking about her ex every time you have sex, if you have sex at all these days? Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 ^ Spot on. Link to post Share on other sites
Layzie89 Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Man this is CRAZY The craziest thing about it is you still believe you have a relationship with this girl. Link to post Share on other sites
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