OK I'm fed up...

[Alexandré]

I just cant take it anymore, it seems every girl I ever like has to play games or just acts dumb. Like the girl I'm into now, shes very rarely calls me, amd we're supposed to go on another date soon but I never get her on the phone unless shes home, which she generally isnt. So I'm fed up, if she wants to go out again, she better get off her ass and call ME for a change. So this brings up a new question: I've always asked the girls for their number, would it be a good idea to give them mine for a change? I'm just sick of making effort only to have it go nowhere, its about time someone else put some effort in me. Except for these nutjobs I seem to keep attracting....

[magda]

Why don't you leave a message, mentioning that it's your 2nd, 3rd, whatever attempt to reach her, that you'd like to see her again and if she'd like to schedule a date or chat, to please call?

 

Unfortunately, many girls will just put a guy on ignore because she hasn't the guts to reject him, so you're better off if the ball is in her court after you've tried a couple times. Still, you'll probably get more results if you make the initial call - women are used to, and appreciate, being pursued. Because you initiated the exchange of phone numbers in the first place, you should also initiate the first call. It is up to you not to be a nuisance during this early stage (and after...), and this often involves high levels of intuition into the feminine psyche. Because some chicks are real pills, I hate to say. Therefore you should follow rules like, "i will call absolutely no more than 3 times in a row without receiving a return call (and that many times only if you have real reason to question whether she got the message)".

[Alexandré]

actually SHE gave ME her number, surprisingly. This girls confusing because shes only ever called me once, yet when I see her around she always acts so excited to see me, dido for when I get her on the phone. But yeah, I'm so sick of all the bull**** I go through trying to find a good relationship that I think I'd rather do the typical guy thing and just start ****ing around. Jeez and girls are always complaining about how they can never find a nice guy, if maybe they wouldn't **** around with em we wouldnt turn into a**h***s. Sorry, I know I'm coming off as a complete ass, but I'm rather peeved.

[magda]

No problem. I understand completely.

 

"Don't worry, everything will work out eventually."

 

I've heard plenty of guys going through your dilemma over and over again. On another board, we call it the "nice guy syndrome". The trick is in making girls anticipate your calls and attention... Even girls like a challenge and get scared away from a sure thing. Being too available is akin to seeming desperate... nobody appreciates things they have in too great abundance. If she doesn't respond, the only good thing to do is forgedaboudid.

[Rockstar]

You are trying to hard, Relax.

 

Women want men that have a lot going on. If you are always available and calling them all the time you must not be working very hard at becoming an alpha male.

 

And damn bro, if she isnt returning your calls then stop calling her. Leave one message and wait for her to return that call. Do not call her again until she calls you back.

 

Then make yourself unavailable, too busy to call her back every once in a while (when she starts calling YOU that is). Let her chase you for a while.

 

You will find this works very well. Yes, games suck- but it is obvious what you are doing now isnt really that great either.

[amerikajin]

>>>I just cant take it anymore, it seems every girl I ever like has to play games or just acts dumb.<<<

 

>>>So I'm fed up, if she wants to go out again, she better get off her ass and call ME for a change.<<<

 

Sorry dude, it ain't gonna happen.

 

>>> So this brings up a new question: I've always asked the girls for their number, would it be a good idea to give them mine for a change? I'm just sick of making effort only to have it go nowhere, its about time someone else put some effort in me. Except for these nutjobs I seem to keep attracting....<<<

 

No, you're the guy. You have to do the work.

 

You have to learn how to dance, my friend. No, not literally; I mean that metaphorically speaking, in a social sense. Basically, the art of picking up women comes down to two things: 1) your ability to give off the right vibes; and 2) equally important, your ability to sense when an opportunity is available and how to capitalize on it. Communication is important, but communication is so much more than talking; it's observing everything about that person. In other words, you gotta read her actions and know what those actions mean to you.

 

Okay, let's go to the videotape:

 

>>>Like the girl I'm into now, shes very rarely calls me, amd we're supposed to go on another date soon but I never get her on the phone unless shes home, which she generally isnt.<<<

 

The reason you can't get her on the phone with you is because she probably doesn't want to be on the phone with you. She's not trying to play a game, she's just like most people and doesn't really want to do the dirty work of actually telling you that you're not her type of hype. So instead, she just drops you a hint through her actions, which in this case is avoidance. In short, her avoidance is telling you that she doesn't want to be with you. That's your answer.

 

What do you do know? Move on. Forget about her. Who needs her??? You sure as hell don't. You've been on this planet for how many years now? She ain't oxygen, she ain't food and she ain't water. She's not the clothes on your back, nor the roof over your head. She's nothing to you except someone you might be interested in getting to know a little better. But think of it as if she were a guy friend of yours who snubbed you: tell me, would you be interested in being a dude's friend if he thought he was too cool or too classy to be in your presence? Hell nah. And that's the way you've got to approach this chick. If she's not interested in you then you sure as hell shouldn't be wasting your time being interested in her.

 

Remember one thing: in life, we are all salesmen. What are we selling? Ourselves. How do you become good at selling yourself? Do what the best salesmen do: play the numbers game and don't apologize for it. And only go for the ones who show the highest level of interest in buying your product (you, in this case). Go out and start getting as many phone numbers as you can. Get at least two or three new ones a week (the more, the merrier) and call the ones you're most interested in, and find out which ones of those are the most interested in you. Start setting up dates and then go from there. Keep dating and don't stop dating different women until you've found one you're ready date exclusively. Call your own shots. Don't play into their hands by devoting your waking hours dreaming about one girl, hoping she feels the same way in return. If a salesman did his business that way, he'd starve.

[Arabess]

It's hard to tell someone they aren't your type. I've acted happy seeing or hearing from someone...when I was just trying to keep from hurting their feelings. If you are going to run into someone all the time or work with them....it's really difficult to know how to handle it. I try to be nice in person, avoid making plans on the phone, I would NEVER call them.....and kinda hope in between.....they will find someone else they are interested in.

 

I'm not making excuses...I'm only saying there are two sides to the story. If she was a mean person, she would tell you to go blow. But she wants to keep your friendship....so she may be side-stepping to keep from hurting your feelings.