controlling an adult daughter- (munchausens by proxy)

[applefruit]

HI,

 

I dont know where to start or what to say about my awful situation but Ill explain it as best as possible.

 

Im a 27 year old woman who was born in the usa and I live in new york at my parents house (forced). No one at 27 is proud to live with their parents and I have nothing in common with mine and do not get along with them.

 

Im a nice person,kindhearted,generous,helpful when I can be,sympathetic,Bright,creative,Intelligent (I was accepted into an Ivy league college at 20 yrs old), A good student and hardworking person.I love to help others when I can especially people who cant stand up for themselves and animals.Theres a future that I'm supposed to have like everyone else and I was born with and still have alot of life potential to change the world for the better or atleast have a good career and fulfill my life potential and job i came here(this life) to do.Life is short so I want to not waste time and be able to accomplish and do as many good things as possible as soon as I can.

 

So heres whats going on.IM a great woman but I Happened to have been born to unstable,religous fanatic and ridiculously cruel parents who happen to be RICH.But ID much rather have grown up in a middle class non rich family that loved and cared about me and protected me than these 2 poor excuse of humans.They are so unhappy that they never had a son that they say they hate me 4 sisters and I because we are girls. They had so many kids because they kept trying to see if theyd have a son.They even picked out a boys name for me before I was born incase I was a son.so they changed it last minute when they found out i wasnt their son, but daughter instead.Ive heard of this phenomenon where parents do not love their children because they arent a son.So they viewed their children as property who they could push around and control and use as literal slaves.My sisters have to do too much for them.They wait on them hand and foot sometimes because my parents are very lasy.They barely do anything for themselves.

 

As my older sisters got older they found out that my father decided that he dosn't want his kids to be as or more succesful as he is.So he decided to plan lives for them no matter what their life potetntial is. He made my oldest sister live at home during college, got her kicked out of law school because of a plan he had and he broke up 2 of her engagements because he decided she shouldnt be married before age 26. she was 22 and 25 and a grown adult each time.

 

He is so controlling that when she turned 30 with no career and married.He decided that he would pick out names for his kids. yes he named 2 of his gRANDCHildren.my sister is brainwashed and still scared of him but wont stand up against him even tho shes in her 30s now.

 

so shes in her mid 30s now and dosnt have a job, she gets supported by our father who is a millionare, he pays for her large house,the grandchildren,vacations,car, her 10 credit cars, everything.SO instead of my sister being independant and getting an actual job she and her husband decided to get money from our parents to support them.

 

she goes shopping all day and dosnt want to watch her older child whos 4 so she dumped him off at my parents house where I live.This is so messed up because my parents are not stable enough to raise a grandchild.They have tempers and were abusive (hit, beat, verbal abuse) to my sisters and I growing up.I wouldnt trust them around a 4 yr old grandchild.So that makes me nervous that hes here being watched by my mother.

 

so IM living with my parents, preschool nephew and another adult sister in one house.Messed up .I mean its a fairly large house thats nice and their rich but still.

 

SO here is the big problem.My parents are so cruel and mentally unstable because they have munchausens by proxy disorder.Where they love attention from people (they do, big time.. they always tell stories to almost everyone they meet, the plumber, housekeeper, grocery delivery man,store clerks) its pretty crazy.They love the attention they get when they tell people about all of their self created misfortunes.Such as the stories they tell the grocery deliveryman,plumber,electrician,woman at the supermarket,store clerks,baker,clergy, housekeeper,neighbor,distant relatives whove never met me about ME.They have this big story that as soon as i turned 13 I became gravely ill with a debilitation mental handicap and disorders.When I was 18 and went to visit my grandfather days before he did of cancer when he was hooked up to many life supporting machines. My mother turned to the nurse in the room and told the nuse about how I (her daughter) was sick too.I was shocked and felt disgusted,I didnt know what to say.There was my 80 something yr old grandfather barely concious with machines and breathing mask on and my mother has the nerve to go say to the nurse that her healthy young 18 yr old child is sick too? WHO THE HECK DOES THAT? BUT as I later found out thats munchuasens by proxy disease.They will say and do anything at any time to get the attention.Even infront of a dying father in law in a hospital room when convenient nurses are around to hear her story about her healthy 18 yr old kid being sick like a dying of cancer elderly grandfather.

 

SO because of my parents munchausens by proxy disorder, I suffered alot and went through uneccesary tests and treatments for symptoms that my parents would write down and make up and add to over the years.In fact I later found out that their stories never matched up and that each time they changed their stories around to have 15 new symptoms that werent there before.

 

This happened through my teens untill young adulthood, as long as they would weaken and control me.They didnt do this stuff to my other siblings but they did make threats to them and try to but they have my 34 yr old sister still brainwashed to accept money from them.So to them controlling a 17 yr old is nothing;.Their stories about how I was severely "mentally disturbed" changed so much.My father likes court settings, police setting and he is fascinated by psychiatry.He frequently talks about how amasing drug companies are and how miraculous psychiatric drugs are and he boasts about new ones theve invented and how great they are (if their so great he should take them maybe they will make him normal ). He wanted to be a psychiatrist when he was younger or a lawyer but he is not smart enough to get into law or medical school so he got a degree in guidance counseloring? I think its called that. But either way because hes a narcissit he boasts all the time about how he is a professional expert in most fields. He thinks hes a psychiatrist and police officer.Hes even worn a uniform 95% of the time for over 2 decades that looks very similar to the local police station uniforms.But he dosnt work for a police station.

 

 

SO their stories kept changing untill they decided not only would they tell psychiatrists and as many strange people as they can (embarrasing) THAT im completely crazy at age 13 I somehow dived into a psychosis,bipolar, 8 personality disorders, 22 undocumented "suicide attempts" , severely debilitating schizophrenia,bulimia,anorexia,adhd and add that I developed magically at age 16,learning disabilities, alchoholism,severe depression,ocd, and the list goes on (think half od the dsm diagnosis handbook).

they also decided to change their story to add on that I was now born developmentally disabled with many learning disabilities.so now the story is bigger, now not only did their 13 yr old child have 35 severe incurable mental disorders, 8 personality disorders and add, adhd but now I had learning disabilities and AUTISM. yes now I magically had a brain disability that I was born with that I never had symptoms of.

 

so yes the stories from my parents changed day to day depending on what audience they talked to or what symptoms they decided to make up. Most were very bisarre and are completely embarrasing to repeat to any of you.

 

first of all I later found out that severe mental illness in women or girls before late 20s or age 30 is very rare.My parents also made up so many symptoms that they had me diagnosed with over 30 mental disorders and treated for them by over 100 mental health professionals and treatment centers, only to show no results.They were treating me for what I didnt even have or have symptoms of.There I was at 15 yrs old good kid, good student sitting in AA meetings and drug abuse meetings. when i never took drugs or drank. I was sent to a few eating disorder clinics and my eting habits were just fine.I had to sit at a boring table at the eating disorder hospital for a half hour after i ate (i love food and always ate healthy). because their patients liked to throw up after eating or starve themselves/

 

so they put me through all these needless things to be OBSERVED me brand new sets of psychiatrists and professionals who didnt know all the other past "treatments" and tests I had.SO my parents forced me into treatment hospitals, centers.day prograns,boarding schools for troubled, defiant teens.Eating disorder centers,Rehabs. you name it about 20 times over years in which they told a new story to each time.

 

SO YES BY AGE 18 I had a record bigger than any serial killer.20 mental hospitals or rehabs, saw almost 100 psychiatrists, social workers, psychologists.They even took me to clergy memebers to be blessed so that I could be cured of me "35 mental diseases"that showed up from nowhere at the rare age of 13.

 

Mean while I still didnt have any mental illness or disorder (I still dont, Im sane and rational, nice, helpful, articulate, kind)

 

I did get traumatised by all the medical abuse my parents put me through. not only was it degrading and embarrasing to be lied about so much.But I wasnt allowed to go to school or get an education,my parents isolated me from any children my age because they knew if i had friends and could be around other teens my age then they or the kids parents would help me.I became nervous and sad about what they were doing to me.As anyone would be and I began to have nightmares at night of being in psych places and reliving the bad things they did to me there.

 

I almost lost my life because of the treatments my parents made them give me.They gave me some strong mind altering drugs and I started to have seisures from them, which I was left alone in a room helpless and no workers came to help.I had to wait till they decided to let me go home to get medical help for the seisures.

 

So Im a survivor because when I turned 18 andf my parents games had to to wind down because it became harder for them to do this to me and medicate me and force me to see many new audiences of shrinks.I decided to go on my own at 18 without my parents knowing for a mental evaluation to see if I ever did have anything and they said I was normal and never needed to be in any of those places or get any mental treatment.

 

my parents got upset that at 18 they couldnt force me to a psychiatrist or tell their stories about me or get me "better" again for the 35th time.I dont know what their definition of better is? male? dead? perfect parent pleaser to wait on them hand and foot? so they didnt ruin my life enough by 18 so they did everything they could to control me and have me "treated" for the invisible 35 mental diseases they told everyone, their neighbor, mom and psychiatrist that I had.

 

Against my parents will and thankfully because of the death of my fathers parents coinciding with 9/11 and me turning 18. A miracle happened from tradgedy.THAT bought me a few months to not be on any mind altering drugs and to figure out that I was now an adult and what I wanted to do in life. MY father backed away from me after his parents died and stopped trying to have me put away or drugged for half a year.

 

I decided that I wanted to go to college just like my older sisters did and have a normal life and contribute to the world.But I had no highschool education or diploma because instead I was living in 20 mental institutions helping my parents get the attention and pity they wanted because I was "deadly sick with 35 mental disorders".

 

So against my parents will I weaned myself off of the psychiatric drugs and studied for my GED and sat's. which I took and did well on both of them

 

so I will fast forward to a few years ago. where I was 24 and had been a college student doing well hoping to have a aucessful future, working on my career and hard working and ambitious.

 

so my father went to court against me when I was 24 and because of all the mental records he has on me starting from age 13 he got a court order from a judge (he knows and is friends with some local judges) so it might be his friend. The court order is basically ISLAMIC LAW. how many women and girls live in strict islamic countries. where they are the property of one or more male relatives and that they do not have any rights outside of that.

 

so here I am an educated american woman with many ambitions for the future and Im living under Islamic law where Im not allowed to do anything I need to.

 

Since its america and not sudan, saudi arabia it is called "adult guardianship" where he told some judge (because of his munchausens by proxy disorder) and probbaly because hes friends with many in the court system.He told the judge that Im mentally disabled and cannot think for myself and am not capable of learning basic tasks ive done since junior highschool. He used all the records from his munchausen abuse against me,lies,paid people whatever he had to do to get court papers against me.

 

so that is not true I clearly do think for myself and m not and never was mentally disabled.He told the judge to write down that im mentally incapacitated. So now at age 24 my father had complete control over me legally.He can have the cops arrest me if I decide to think for myself and do anything against what he wants. which is what happens to many unmarried young women in the middle east where they dont have basic rights.

 

so now he can legally continue his munchausens by proxy campaign against me for the rest of my life. My father has made me a ward of the state now.My father makes all decisions for me untill he dies and then the state will make all decisions and profit from me untill my life ends.

 

I am not allowed to chose anything now even as an american woman which is not fair( even tho in 2008 i did some volunteering over the phone to campaign for the democrats and obama because I was interested in studying politics, grad school) so to thank me for that I get to become a ward of the state since im so mentally disabled that I could help campaign for a president candidate grassroot campaign and the countless other things that ive done.

 

Im not allowed to work or keep money because my father will get the money,Im not allowed to marry or date,Im not allowed to talk to whom I want to, make any life saving decisions for myself, or medical decisions.My father can go back to court and tell hi8s judge friend that I cannot talk to certain people he dosnt like.Im not allowed to travel, go on vacation, move away from his house or live where I chose to.so Im not allowed to further my education or work on career ambitions because my father choses not to allow that.

 

So I dont know what to do.Here I am a 27 yr old non muslim american citizen forced by my father to live at home and often be left home alone to watch and care for my 4 yr old nephew even tho im "mentally incapacitated" according to court records.

 

so my parents Know they lied about me and that Im perfectly sane and competent enough to accomplish my life goals.They just like lying about me and controlling me and being cruel.

 

or else they wouldnt leave me, force to care for my sisters child.

 

and they laugh about it and have admitted they made it up to( in their words. "ruin my life" and to teach me a lesson and because IM an easy target. those are my parents words

 

so IM not sure what to do. Ive tried for 3 years to gt this court order removed so that I can safely get away from my psychopathic controlling parents who view me as property. They are pretty much like the chinese tiger parents.They impose their beleifs on their kids,insult and put them down.

 

the court wont budge because my father has millions of dollars to pay anyone and the best lawyer in the country to keep me as a ward of the state for no reason. he can pay anyone. He is friends with a few judges and sofar the judges wont listen to their friends daughter. ITS all male judges by the way. Ive written letters like I was told to by the crummy free legal service and the judges didnt listen to them,unless Im not getting any responses because my father collects the household mail and many times dosnt give me my mail.

and since im property of my father now and cannot think or speak for myself then maybe the judges are responding to him and hes telling them not to listen to me because im crazy

 

 

so here I am a 27 yrs old grown woman being forced to stop my education, not allowed to work, not legally allowed to sign marriage documents, travel, you name it. Im going to be 28 soon and have nothing I can do in life.My FATHER WONT allow me to live somewhere else or marry.If he found out I was dating he would probably go back to court and get his judge friend to ban me from speaking to them.So Im scared what people will think.He has scared away friends of mine in the past and forbids me from having black female friends because my father does not like minorities.

 

what am I going to do.I feel helpless and no one in the court system wants to listen to me because my father tells tem 25 different made up stories about me and it says im mentally incapacitated so no one wants to listen to me.

 

I want a career and to go to grad school and to have my own family and get as far from my father as possible.Theres nothing I can do and I need advice

 

I have called the police and they do not listen to me, instead they handcuff me and threaten to taser me and drive me in their police car to escort me into the nearest hospitals emergency psych ward because of my court records saying im mental.The psych ward people never listen to me so I have to smile and say theres no abuse and that im happy to go back home now.

 

so that hasnt solved anything and never will.

 

I need another plan, If i run away the cops will look for me.I cant even go to a womens safe shelter for other victims like myself because the cops will find me there and arrest me and have me brought back to my father

 

 

The cops wont help, the court house or judges refuse to listen to me for 3 years. WHAT should I do roll over and die? and say that at 24 my life potential was over because my controlling father said so? ive never seen any parents this controlling and my parents dont talkk to me. They dont know much about me as an adult, They dont explain anything and ive tried to talk to them and they refuse to, they just get angry and do things and not think or try to work out things.you cant reason with them.

 

they couldnt tell you even when I was a child or now what my favorite color is, what food im allergic to, or any basic things about my charactor.They dont know me but my father wants to make life limiting decisions for me?

 

Im so scared of my parents,one time I had a bad reaction at the dentist and I had to go to the er so I took myself to the hospital and I was too scared to let my parents know where I was because they would try to have me commited to the psych ward again for the 36th time because of a medical reaction to a dental situation

 

yes they think of any exuse possible to try have me commited and its so easy for them because I have an entire history of being put away so, they are convincing

 

so I have to hide many things from my parents so that they dont put me in danger.

 

what can I do? how do I get past a non fair court system so that I cAN be safe and better myself and chose to live far away from my father.

 

right now im forced to live with him for the rest of his life.

 

HE will do anything in order to keep me controlled and stop me from moving away from home or working on a career for myself.I think the only reason he allowed me to go to college or study because of the shock of his parents dying so he backed away for some time when i was 18.

 

 

what would you do if you were turning 28 soon and forced to live with your parents and have no career? IT ISNT FAIR

 

I do not want to call the cops like I said above because theyve told me they WILL have me put away again in a psych ward where ill be needlessly forced to live for up to a year waiting to be put in a lifetime facility for mentally handicapped people. which would be pointless and time wasting for me because i dont belong in either place.I'd like to move out of state by myself and attend graduate school and work, rent an apartment and eventually buy a house.Id prefer to do all of this without my parents knowing or it wont happen.

 

I refuse to go back to a psych ward for no reason just because I dont want to live with my parents.

 

any ideas that are not illegal or dont involve trying to get to mexico?

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

OP, are you 100% sure that you can't get your parents arrested? I've heard of similar cases, where the parent can be arrested for falsifying medical evidence (and wasting the doctor's time.)

 

Regardless, you need to see a therapist. I couldn't read that whole wall of text, but I read most of it, and if you're not seeing one, you need to. You also need to distance yourself from your parents. I know they scare you - hell, I'd be scared to, if I was in your situation - but what you need to realize is that none of this is your fault. And you don't need to be a victim anymore.

 

Hope everything works out for you.

[applefruit]

Im not sure how to get my parents arrested. I mean they are my parents but theyve done so much damage and crime against me that I dont feel safe.

 

the cops dont believe me or they dont want to. maybe I need more evidence (appartently 20 yrs of abuse isnt enough evidence)

 

maybe I need video footage or tape recordings of my father insulting me and screaming and threatening me.

 

He refuses to allow me to have any normal life, he wants me to be forced to live with him.Then hes saying he wants me put away again for life because HE DOSNT LIKE ME. those are his words. If he dosnt like me so much why dosnt he back away and stop controlling me and let me better myself, get a job so i can sustain myself and live far away and marry and start my own family?

 

in order for me to sucessfuly be in the world far away from my father id need a job anyways, am I right? to the least.

 

he dosnt want me having a job or even marrying someone. he says he hates me but he wants to force me to be helpless and stuck controlled by him

[applefruit]

Also I did see a therapist and they said nothing is wrong with me , but they dont know what to do in the legal department because they don't deal with court systems

[lavidaloca]

I am so sorry you're having to "live" like this. I can't imagine. I think it's an excellent idea to secretly tape your father. I would get as much tape of him as I could. Especially when he's screaming that he hates you, or making references to what he's doing.

 

I wouldn't know where to start to find an attorney for your specific need (not even sure what you'd CALL that need)...but if you could find an attorney willing to listen to that tape, and willing to fight for you...maybe? Most attornies will do a free 15 min consult. I'd have my evidence ready in case you found one, though.

 

I really hope you're able to find a way out of this nightmare you're living in.

[nicedream]

HI, any ideas that are not illegal or dont involve trying to get to mexico?

 

i would first get connected to a social worker or someone outside your family who can help support you emotionally. there are free resources out there. go to a church pastor or a free clinic run by the state, so you won't have to use your parents' money for counselling. you will need a lot of support to try to make a break for freedom. like you said, your parents have infantilized you to the extent that it will be difficult for you, emotionally, to break free from their control.

 

once you have more confidence and emotional support, do what the rest of us do...take out student loans, move away from your parents, don't take a penny more from your father (who sounds like a sociopathic narcissist) and go back to school. continue to go to counselling and try to get a job while you are in school.

 

intelligence is not your problem...but you need emotional and psychological support to counteract the destructive parenting you received as a child. i will pray for you.

[applefruit]

nicedream. i didnt think about that how their infantalising me. Forcing me to stay as a helpless minor under 18 while my life passes me by and I almost reach 30.

 

heres the problem, I have no support but also Im sick all the time physically.I have a life threatening medical problem for some time so Im weak all the time and do not have the strength to even make phone calls to get help sometimes or do much.So this is hard. Part of the reason for me being sick is the damage my parents did to me.

 

Im alone and sick, no relatives care about me or will do anything for me.My parents try to stop me from getting well, try to stop me from seeing a dr.Its aggrivating and scary for me.I wonder if they just want me dead instead of me getting well and having a career.

I cant go out and make friends of my age group because Im in seriousely bad medical condition and Im weak most of the time and almost faint alot in public also.

 

so Im basically alone with no one to talk to in person and no one to help.Im also too weak to go to court to defend myself.I have been sick for 2 years with something that makes me violently sick and can kill me.my parents do not talk to me or want me to get well.I take care of myself medically and make and go to dr appointments on my own, if I need medicine or food its up to me to get them. no help at all from any family members.

 

I forgot to say that, so me showing up at court to end this disaster probably wont happen.I stay up all night sick and cannot walk alot many times without feeling dissy. court buildings are large.id hve no one to go with me to make sure im ok if i faint or fall down (my mobility isnt as great as it should be)

 

I just want this, to recover and not be bullied and when i feel well enough to work to go on my own and get a job, start a career, go back to school possibly and move far from the parents.

 

im going to be 30 years old in a little over 2 years, i dont know what kind of stunt game show my parents are running.

 

im really weak, shaky out of it most of the day, that i dont even have energy sometimes to go and grab a video recorder when something happenes, such as being yelled at or bullied.

 

i wish someone else would help me and do stuff for me meanwhile till im well, to end this court thing

 

 

i dont have any ideas. im bullied every day and maybe thats getting in the way of me recovering physically and also adding trauma and nervousness to my life. so im shaken up and nervous alot of the time and i feel badly about myself when i go out.

[nicedream]

you might not be able to use the phone, but you can use the internet. i would contact someone via email who can come to your parents' home and drive you. a church pastor or social worker would be willing to go with you. try to contact them by email and explain your situation. have the social worker come to your house to see what is going on. if your parents prevent them from coming to see you...that will prove even more that you need help. it is a social worker's job to report any kind of abuse. so, you *will* get the help you need if you contact them. i will post more information about who you might be able to contact.

[Tayla]

As a simple person who sits on the sidelines reading this story, I find it eerily odd. Far to contrived to entertain that the poster carries an IVY league IQ whilst writing the way they do. I read the rant writings and the perpetual pointing of problems with excuses . If one is too ill to pick up the phone , isnt it odd to the average person they can write (type) such a long drawn out tale of woe. Call it skepticism but I sincerely doubt this author is entirely forthcoming but rather pulling the wool over the goodness of the responders here.

[WorldIsYours]

As a simple person who sits on the sidelines reading this story, I find it eerily odd. Far to contrived to entertain that the poster carries an IVY league IQ whilst writing the way they do. I read the rant writings and the perpetual pointing of problems with excuses . If one is too ill to pick up the phone , isnt it odd to the average person they can write (type) such a long drawn out tale of woe. Call it skepticism but I sincerely doubt this author is entirely forthcoming but rather pulling the wool over the goodness of the responders here.

 

I share your suspicions. Someone who's too weak to pick up a damn phone, but can sit in front of a computer screen typing up a wall of text?

[nicedream]

http://www.txabusehotline.org/Login/Default.aspx

 

this is a website where you can report abuse online. hope this helps.

[Eddie Edirol]

As a simple person who sits on the sidelines reading this story, I find it eerily odd. Far to contrived to entertain that the poster carries an IVY league IQ whilst writing the way they do. I read the rant writings and the perpetual pointing of problems with excuses . If one is too ill to pick up the phone , isnt it odd to the average person they can write (type) such a long drawn out tale of woe. Call it skepticism but I sincerely doubt this author is entirely forthcoming but rather pulling the wool over the goodness of the responders here.

 

Im with you, she puts up a wall of text, but doesnt mention that she doesnt have enough energy to run from home until someone says go to a shelter? I dont buy it.

[applefruit]

i didnt say i was too weak to hold a telephone reciever. i sad i was too weak to speak. i have speach problems where i cannot say words and i slur my speech, due to a life threatening illness that i have now.

 

i never said i went to an ivy league college. i said i went to college and once got accepted to a well known ivy league school, but i went to 2 private collges instead. i never said i was some high iq genius, i am definately not buut im not mentally retarded either.

 

so i cannot use the phone because i cannot talk correctly or get my point across because i have trouble saying complete words and putting sentences togethr because of speech trouble. i know the words but i cant say them. which is why i can type stuff i want to say because i dont have to use my voice.

 

 

i am not making this up, do you want my social security number so you can look up my records to prove that what im saying is true? either way i cannot give you my social security number. but i do not lie. i needed advice for a difficult situation

 

and the shelters will not accept me becaus im disabled, severely sick and contageous, and because i am property so they would need to notify the cops so that the cops can institutionalise me. i do not want to go to an institution. ive already tried that, going to protectice services,they put me away because they said i was disabled. so they place disabled people in insitututions and it landed me back at my parents house with no other choices

 

i dont want to go around the merry go round a 2nd time and be locked up somewhere and then be sent back to my parents. its a revolving door

 

i need to find an apartment i chose to live in and sign a lease and go there. i need the permission to do that tho and some money. or to do that without my father ever finding out.

[Mme. Chaucer]

It sounds like you actually ARE very sick and disabled?

 

I am not disputing your claim that you have abusive and controlling parents, but if you are actually disabled and so sick and contagious that you cannot go to a shelter, how would you fare in your own apartment; how would you be able to take care of yourself, and financially support yourself?

 

Are your parents Middle Eastern? You refer to Saudi Arabia and Islamic Law.

 

If your situation is as you describe it, you need to report your parents to the police for abuse. Or, contact an abuse hotline. The people there will keep your anonymity and help you figure out how to get out of this.

[nicedream]

sorry...i deleted this comment because it was about shelters...you said you already tried contacting a shelter.

[yessy21]

As a simple person who sits on the sidelines reading this story, I find it eerily odd. Far to contrived to entertain that the poster carries an IVY league IQ whilst writing the way they do. I read the rant writings and the perpetual pointing of problems with excuses . If one is too ill to pick up the phone , isnt it odd to the average person they can write (type) such a long drawn out tale of woe. Call it skepticism but I sincerely doubt this author is entirely forthcoming but rather pulling the wool over the goodness of the responders here.

 

 

U are correct. How are u not sick if ur sick? How do u get into an IVy leauge school witha GED? I took some classes well enough to know what charecteristics are shown here.

[nicedream]

your dad is a narcissistic personality. narcissism is a diagnosable personality disorder where people are controlling, and selfish in the extreme, and often abusive. unfortunately, narcissism is often undiagnosed and there are many high-functioning narcissists who hurt the people closest to them, but are considered acceptable to society.

 

fortunately, narcissists can be easily manipulated by the people they try to control. if you do some research on narcissistic personality disorder, you might find ways to make the situation better. it might even help you to get some money and permission to get out of the house.

 

however, i wouldn't give up on trying to contact a social worker via email.

[nicedream]

i'm cancelling my account on this site. however, you can contact me at [email protected]. I truly hope that your situation is resolved and wish you all the best.

[applefruit]

thanks nicedream! you seem to have good advice here, the best advice. atleast you understand what Im going through.

 

and who said you cannot apply to an ivy league school with a ged as a form of highschool completion? did you actually check with the admissions office of any college?most american colleges as of 2003 and probably still today do accept a ged insteaf of a diploma. but many do require some form of SAT test result aswell. so i did take my sat's. i applied with my ged and sat scores in 2003 and got accepted then. but chose to go to smaller cheaper privates college(s)

 

whoever said no ivy league schools accept a ged is COMPLETELY WRONG. go check the undergrad admission requirements.

 

and to the other person who said i cant go to a shelter because im sick and contagous is right. I really do not know how ill feel safe and look after myself alone.No one helps to take care of me now, so im getting by okay somewhat but not happy .no one has as an adult. but i dont see any other option.even tho i do hate living with my parents and im 27. i do get a free place to stay, even tho when i can ive helped out my family. no one does anything for me or interacts much with me in their home. i go about my own day ignoring everyone/being ignored,prepare my own meals, do laundry, if i need something i get it. im not having someone do anything for me. ive had to babysit my sisters child without being paid.which i think is stupid on their part, but i was nice. i helped(solely) raise my little sister as a teenager who is now in college. because my parents decided when she turned 16 to never be home and to not interact with her. so there i was 23 and had to look out for her, make sure she got up for school,help her study, make sure she had dinner, adress any emergencies or health problems,make calls for her, moral support. my mother didnt even know what highschool she went to. NEGLECT

 

i dont know how ill support myself.the only options i see for myself are stay with parents and lets say i did have the option to go away, 0r to find an apartment somewhere and live there like any adult does and pay rent. which was my original plan when i was 18 years old was to find an apartment to move away to.

 

honestly im scared and do not feel very safe to be out on my own because of my health problems. what if i pass out or something or die and no one is around to help me. maybe thats too much to be scared about but alot of times i do not feel well. but i do not like how my parents treat me and id like the option to live where i want and be an adult without my father trying to stop me.

 

i think my best option is to get well. do not get any health problems no matter what. because if im well i can be safe and able to work and support myself.

 

the thing is i wasnt born disabled and i do need to recover 100%. so that i can have a career.

 

i dont trust any "disabled services" which are usually for thoise born disabled or with something much more serious like cerebral palsy,people in wheelchairs. because there is alot of abuse in those things, people who are paid to look after these people usually do not care about the individuals. they do what they do and get paid.

 

either way i will look up online about narcissistic people. it seems impossible to negotiate with my parents or even have them treat me human most of the time. that might help

 

but even tho im sick, not well enough to work my parents are not the slightest concerned. they dont speak to me or ask me how i am or wonder how im doing. they only yell and make threats and act rude. also someone told me its about control.

 

 

theres crasy non decent/twisted people in the world and sadly for some of us were born to them and their the first people we meet who we think were supposed to trust and it shapes our views of humans in general when were young.

 

i remember being scared of people when i got to first grade because i thought everyone was like my parents. i thought the teachers would hit me or something which is probably why i was quiet/shy all the time. afraid to start anything or someone to get mad at me or anything

[Rayne03]

applefruit, I believe what you are saying. When I first read all the posts, I too became skeptical, but I think what alot of people may not realize and take into account that as "normal" as she feels she is (meaning, not having any of the illness her parents have made up), she infact IS naturally affected by and traumatized by all the horror she has and still is subject to.

 

applef, I can't even imagine the horrors you have endured at the hands of these sadistic people, but I do realize how beat down and helpless you must feel... clearly to the point where it is effecting you physically and has made you terrified and physically weak. Is there any way you can make a plan to try to put away any possible money that you get your hands on, get on a bus or train to another State, change your name and get on your feet there. Or cut and paste what you have written us here to as many female political figures as possible, someone will eventually hear you and will help you. I know that if I were in a position financially, I would help you plan an escape, there has got to be someone out there and I don't think you should ever give up. Keep emailing everyone you can in power.

My heart goes out to you. Don't give up

[OldOnTheInside]

There is a possibility that she is a troll but it is not like there hasn't been more unusual stories on the news. Anyway, here is what I think...

 

I see zero chance of you negotiating or manipulating with your parents. They've treated you like a sub-human for nearly three decades, I doubt that it will stop now.

 

You should put your dreams of a job and education on the back burner for now. That doesn't mean that you should abandon them, just focus on the more life threatening issues for now.

 

Is there no possibility of contacting your friends or sister?

 

You've been given a lot of useful advice on this thread so I'll just say this: You can't continue to live with your parents, if they don't end your life, they will destroy what is left of you mentally.

[applefruit]

thanks rayne your right.Im not crasy and dont have any severe mental illnesses but i am beat down by this.I was raised by monsters in a violent household, where violence was daily and normal.Even my siblings ganged up and got violent to me often so to them it was normal in their minds.So ive had to learn to defend myself physically.I am nervous because of my upbringing and the monsters that control and lie to me now still. as anyone would be and I appear nervous and passive in public and when talking to people.Meaning even strangers see me as weak and an easy target.Im not assertive, convincing or confident so when I try to tell people whats going on they dont listen or take me seriousely.I dont have the best social skills as ive been scared of people half my life cause of being victimised by the only people in the world i should trust(my own family).If you cannot depend on or trust family who can you? Friends are not family and strangers rarely care about your well being

and ive also been homebound for most of the last 2 yrs so ive had no social contact at all, no friends or coworkers. maybe a store clerk id mumble a few words to or the mail man id answer the door for and then id be home isolated not talking to any family.so I dont have any skills with talking in person to people.i forgot how i was before i became sick

 

my parents on the other hand are pushy,loud, sociopath "people experts", and they are very convincing when they lie.They can get others to believe them and do what they say.They intimidate people too which is embarrasing

 

they try to make me look crasy so that no one will help me, trheyve told cops,professionals,mental health prof these grand outrageous stories about me with insane details such as i was trying to kill the neighbors cat,i dont know how to use a toaster oven,hear voices, streak naked down the street. Its gross and it scares me because im suprised anyone believes them.obviousely none of that being true.

 

one time while i was shackled by court officers outside my bedroom and brought to court at 8am from being in bed sleeping and in pain and not feeling fell. my father tried to convince the judge that i was plotting suicide for 2 years and havent showered in 6 yrs or something. thank g-d the judge that time didnt believe him and told him he was starting fights with me by making up stories

 

it isnt fair, but yea the things done to me are so crasy and im a peaceful person and dont want any of this

 

my sister told me once that my parents get bored and always need to fight with something so im the easy target so they start up crasy things with me to keep themselves from being bored. im beggining to believe her.

 

im not a troll, and youd be surpised sometimes the crasier a story is the more true it is. so yes what im saying is true.even tho i know its not an every day thing that you hear, because it isnt normal. again but yea look at the news and theres 10 times more crasy things

 

 

 

so im beat down, mentally, physically from this. anyone would be depressed from all of this hassle.i used to have nightmares at night of ambulances coming to get me and me being chased or trying to escape. they broke my spirit too and will to keep going, so my soul is broken from all this.

 

so old on the inside, this family is destroying me mentally, spiritually- like peices of my soul are being damaged. lets say this im much more worn down today than i was 3 yrs ago. i feel like less of a person after being through so much bad stuff

 

i did have so many hopes and dreams, rewind to age 22 and there i was plotting my wonderful god given future, job, career,friends, move away from home, apartment hunting,vacation etc

 

then like some beast went and stomped on me and made me stop caring.my soul was broke, spirit damaged.

 

and i should keep those dreams, they are mine and the reason i showed up in the 1980s.

 

i dont know what kind of satanic executioner parents I have but they have a life wether they appreciate it or not. they got married, had jobs, moved away from their parents had 5 wonderful kids who they hate.

so how is it their right to destroy a souls only life? life is short and a gift to me before i was born. life is too short for this type of drama. theres enough bad in this world that can happen to me, i dont need these 2 "parents" to make survival harder for me. its not a game

 

they love with things are bad and theres drama going on so they get attention. if things are quiet and happy for all , they stir things up

 

if i succeeded and was happy and moved away they would be bored. they wouldnt want to be bored

 

im also starting to see that they see me as an object, a belonging, rather than a gift to the world, their child or a human being.

 

which is how many parents see their children and adult children who are even in their 40s and 50s. as an object they won, some prise they own that they get to model after themselves or what they want.their very own human they get to tell what to do, and chose a life path for. i am not a robot. let them get a parrot

 

 

its thir choice if they want to break the law and put my life in danger and treat me unfairly like trash. now its my turn to say i dont like them,dont need to honor them :just because they are my parents", i felt like i owe them something because they arre my parents, newsflash to me, im a human being and will live the life god gave me

 

but just like strangers, i wouldnt allow a strange man on the subway to do all this to me, why these 2 people who are my parents? its illegal and all of us have to abide by the rules.

 

i cannot go to court and control another adult without coneqences and neither should they.

 

whats important to me is that im safe and well. i feel like getting some evidence and trying to get my parents arrested for perjury. i just got that idea a few days ago, that will show them rules are rules and they need to treat me like a human being. if i did what they did to me to a stranger they would have me arrested and id be in jail

 

maybe i need my dignity more than i need the free place to stay and spending money from them.

 

 

 

the problem is this honor system code, they are "my parents " nice title so me and most of society thinks i owe them something and acceptions, but i am a human being and no one, not a stranger can do this to me.

 

so thanks for the ideas. and im not lying

 

also my sisters unfortunately have been good chat buddies sometimes, fashion advice, talk about nice tv shows but they dont give a rat about me, they refused to help me and do not care if i rot in a sewer. im their fair weather friend , if its not interesting to them they dont do anything. they also take after my parents personalities. they also gang up on me and have instigated things, got violent to me and lied to my parents about me to try to get me in trouble or put away. one of them also spreads bad rumors about me. honestly im scared of them too. fair weather meaning they will go with me to a resturant to eat lunch but if i was abducted or in the hospital they wouldnt care cause its not interesting or fun to them

 

so its me, im my family for now.but maybe i do need some friends so i can have a support system, people who will know whats really going on and be on my side

 

so i have a few ideas on what to do. but im worn down physically,mentally

 

so it will be hard for me to do them, especially on my own with no support, advocate or friends

Edited April 16, 2011 by applefruit

[NoMagicBullet]

applefruit, you're posts are really, really long and kind of rambling, so I didn't read through every single word. I saw the part where you mentioned advice from free legal services -- well, you obviously need more than that.

 

You need your own lawyer. You probably don't have the money or access to the money to hire one straight off, but I'm sure there's an attorney out there somewhere who'd take on your case for little or no money to get you emancipated or otherwise freed from your parents' control and sue them for damages (i.e. $$$$$$$) for abuse if they're as rich as you say. You may need to look for an attorney outside your immediate geographical area (since you say your parents have influence with judges where you live), but you'll need one that at least practices law in the state you live in. You obviously have internet access, and many attorneys have websites you can contact them through.

 

But you'll need to improve your writing when you do so -- use proper capitalization, grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Trim down what you've written here to the essence of your case. Clearly and calmly state the facts. You want to come across as the competent, college-educated woman you say you are when communicating with attorneys, judges, ... anyone, whether in writing or speaking. You must work harder than the average person to come across well, not because you are (allegedly) "crazy" but because your parents have had you legally pronounced "crazy" and most people will tend to believe a piece of paper issued by a court than a person. You have an uphill battle here, and you know it. So step up your presentation and find an attorney who will go to bat for you.

[Heart On]

i cant go to a shelter because im sick and contagous

i have speech problems where i cannot say words and i slur my speech, due to a life threatening illness that i have now

 

What do you have that can't be healed?

 

Save everything you have written here and give it to the first lawyer

who is willing to take you on pro bono until you can sue the pants off of your parents!!!!!!!!

 

If this is all true,they should be drawn and quartered.

[wendyaaqq]

Hi everyone,i was just browsing online and found this forum is so interesting,i can read so many helpful posts here! I hope i can get to know some nice persons here.Wish you good luck every day!