ballygowan Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 i'm broken up with my x nearly 2 years now, but we've always kept in contact, maybe a little too well sometimes. she's gone out with 3 dudes in that time, and each time i didn't like it. she's just started going out with an old friend (of her's), this makes me feel bad. ye, i know it may seem selfish, she deserves to be happy, just wondering if anyone else has gone through this. do you feel weird with your x being with someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I dated someone for 6 years. And when we broke up I stayed close friends with him for almost 4 years. The end result was that I kept sleeping with him in between boyfriends. And in the end I could not fall in love with anyone until I cut him loose completely. So I don't think it is a good idea to stay in touch.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ballygowan Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 she was crazy about me, and it was me who broke up with her on a few occasions. we went out for 2 years. we didn't see each other for 6 months after the final break up, but for the past 2 years, we've been close. she's had 3 boyfriends in that time, each time, horrible. she keeps saying she doesnt want to loose me as a friend, tried to tell her yesterday that i think we need time apart, she got anoyed with me for acting weird, made me feel worse than i allready do. overseas2004, it seems like a tough cycle to break, i've had the occasional fling, but nothing serious. to be honest that was the only real relationship of substance i've ever had, and its hard to let it completly go. i know once i find somone else i'll be grand, time and all that, just need to vent at the mo. Link to post Share on other sites
mommy78 Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 That's why it's not good to still "be friends" with an ex if you cant just be friends. When you decide to be friends, thats all it should be, no feeling of love or compassion should be there. I mean its cool to love your friends, but you know what I mean. The love you had when you were with them should no longer be there. Obviously if you get jealous of him/her being with someone new, you must have feelings for him/her still yet. A lot of people dont understand the meaning of an EX. I used to talk to one of my ex's, actually a few of them, but one in particular. I only seen him as a friend and never had any feelings for him what so ever. I did, however, care about him as if I care about any of my other friends. Because he was facing some "problems" in his life after we broke up, I always used to check up on him every now and then to see how things are going. But I never talked to him everyday. It was more like every once a month because I had my own life and knew that he's not someone that I need to take look out for. I just dont see how people can still keep in contact with there ex's after being with someone new. It's just wrong....well, for me it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Veronika Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I think there is a big difference between an ex boyfriend and someone you were in love with. I have some ex's who I am friends with........but I never loved them...........we just went out for awhile and discovered we were better off just as friends........but when you loved someone.......that is different....I know it would rip my heart out to see them with someone else.......especially if they seemed to be happy and in love with the other woman........I would think..."Why wasn't my best good enough?" "Why couldn't he have been happy with me?" Plus, what if you do try to be friends and you get invited to their wedding? What if they have children? Why put yourself through that? Get other friends........keep busy....be happy.........Don't cry because it ended-smile because it happened! Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Originally posted by ballygowan ...just wondering if anyone else has gone through this. do you feel weird with your x being with someone else? I feel really bad for the guy, or guys as the case may be, to be honest. I'm glad to be rid of her Link to post Share on other sites
priscilla Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 You still have some strong feelings about her especially if you get upset when she is with other guys. You are not free to meet someone special if you continue contact with her. You will never be able to move forward in any of your relationships because you are still tied to this one. You need to end it completely. It is very difficult to be friends with ex's and most of the time it ends just as bad as it did the first time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ballygowan Posted May 18, 2004 Author Share Posted May 18, 2004 well, i went and did it! contacted her, we're meeting up on fri for a drink. yes, i know, this is supposed to be the complete opposite of what you're supposed to do. i was doing ok, but then i just couldn't get her out of my head. blanking her out completly was realy driving me crazy, i think we just need to sit down and have a big talk. i mean what if we are meant for each other? see, thing is, i've had a few flings since her, and have been on my fair share of dates, but she's always been in the back of my mind. closing the door on someone you care so much about.............. its so dam hard. Link to post Share on other sites
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