Should I wear this bracelet???

[Princess]

Okay my problem is that I don't know if I should wear a bracelet or not. My boyfriend's (his name is Justin) brother, Ian, just recently got this girlfriend, Kim. Kim is very nice and everything, but the problem that I have with her is that I feel that she is taking over my boyfriend's family. Originally, my boyfriend's family was like my surrogate family. They loved me as much as I love them. Well, now it's like Kim is at their house way more than I, Justin and Ian's parents seem like they like her way more than me and to top it off, she just graduated from Notre Dame!!! But that's not it. Today, Justin and Kim went to Marine World BY THEMSELVES (I was invited, but could not go because of work) and got me a bracelet that looks very similar to a bracelet of Kim's that I complimented once. Now, normally, if something like this happened to me, I would probably stash the bracelet away, but Justin just recently complained to me that I never wear anything that he buys me. Now, I don't know what to do. I want to wear the bracelet because I know that it would make Justin happy. But, I really don't want to wear the bracelet because everytime I look at it, it reminds me of how much I am jealous of Kim and how unredeeming my qualities are. Should I wear this bracelet???

 

Love,

 

Princess

 

ps: I talked to Justin and his father about how jealous I am of Kim tonight and how I feel like she's moving in on "my" family. Justin told me privately that I actually am more perfered in the house because, "Kim acts very erratic and stupid when she gets upset" and his father told me that "as far as I know, no one will ever replace you. You are the daughter that I never had, but always wanted." Yes, that does make me feel better, but I still do not like her.

[Paulie]

I think this issue is so goddamn inconsequential, it doesn't merit me putting a response here. But seeing as it bothers you, I will give my two cents. First of all, you have to have enough self-esteem to not worry about the other girlfriend's status within that family. More importantly, you should not define yourself as the "daughter they never had," because you're not. You're probably a very nice, decent young lady, but you're not their daughter, or part of their family. Attempting to define yourself as such will only lead to greater dissapointment and failure to ever attain that goal, until you ARE part of the family, -namely in marraige. Secondly, if your boyfriend gave you a bracelet, in the name of all that's holy, wear the goddamn thing. If he was good and generous enought to give that to you, you shouldn't hurt him by not wearing it because of some stupid insecurity of yours. Do you really want to let that other girl affect your relationship with your boyfriend to that degree, when it's really just the result of your own insecurities? I don't mean to be insensitive, but you need to grow up a little. Wear the bracelet, and be kind and cordial to the other girlfriend. You've got to get over your own insecurities before yopu can show love for somebody else.

[Tony T]

You need to seriously work on this jealousy problem. There is absolutely no justifiable reason why you should care about who likes who more, etc. That is so so silly!!! If your personal happiness on this planet is determined by Justin's family being more fond of you than Kim, you need to go to a hopspital emergency room as soon as possible.

 

I do respect people's fealings but jealously is an unconstructive and cruel emotion that only haunts the person who feels it. It is not being nice to yourself. However, I was taught to respect other people's feelings so if you insist on being totally and completely cruel to yourself...like there aren't enough other people out there to do the job...be my guest and you have my blessings.

 

WEAR THE BRACELET!!! Justin got that bracelet for you with the complete intention of pleasing you, since you had complimented Kim on hers. If you think he had any other intention other than making you happy, the DROP HIM LIKE A HOT POTATO!!!

 

If you trust Justin, care about him, love him in any way, honor the fact that his intention was to make you happy with something he knew you would like. Your life will change in no way, you will not die, you will not get sick, and the whales at Marine World will not die if you wear the bracelet. So what if Kim has a similar one. When I was in the military, I wore THE SAME EXACT UNIFORM that every single other person on the base wore, all 480 of them...and it didn't bother me a bit...and I am still alive.

 

I hope you will sit and think about what you do to your own mind. Your boyfriend is trying to please you and you take it another way.

 

Again, I honor your feelings that you feel awkward about wearing something so similar to Kim because you are jealous. You know, I think Justin is going to evenutally see some traits in you he may not be comfortable with. See a counsellor to get to the root of your insecurities and why you like to upset yourself about these things before your relationship(s) is too adversely affected.

 

I want you to be happy but going through life analyzing who likes who more and who is wearing a bracelet like the one you told your boyfriend you liked...is a bit strange. Get a grip on yourself and stop doing and thinking things to make yourself feel bad.