Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 We go out sometimes. My wife gets drunk and always finds some guy to dry hump in the bar. This has happened 8 or 10 times..my wife just in the last couple months has gotten very close to my daughters teacher. I was talking to a friends while I was getting drinks . I come back to the table and my wife is almost sitting in his lap. I was like what the f#%*. I blew it off , didn't say anything. It was bar close and we were calling cab, teacher said he will give us a ride home . Next thing you know we are at his house. I had no knowledge of us going anywhere but home we were too drunk to drink anymore. The teacher knew that so he brings me out a drink half and half with 151 strong stuff... My wifes drink was like water. they thought I had passed out, I walk in 5 min later and they are all over eachother. Not having sex ....YET. Damn close. We left immediately . I feel really hurt for a few reasons and 1 .. She did this 13 years and two kids into our life together, 2.she did this with my daughters teacher of all people. 3. I was there at the time in the next room! 4. I feel very betrade by my daughters teacher. I cannot just let it go and I am so hurt I don't know what to do.. Thank you for any input you have, Joe, mn Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 You say you didn't say anything but were angry inside. That's where you can make a change: say what you're feeling. Honour your feelings. Express yourself better. It will make you feel better about yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 I just didn't wanna get things escalated a the bar when we were drunk . When we got home we got in a huge arguement about it and she actually called the cops on me when I had already gone to bed 45 min earlier. Don't get me wrong I would never hit or abuse my wife or any women. The cops left right away . Because they knew I was no threat to anybody, however I did have to block a few of her punches. Link to post Share on other sites
TakeMeasIam Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 So get her arrested. Alcohol is a depressive. You guys don't sound too happy. Do you? You both drink too much. Get help for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 I feel uncomfortable with my daughter in his class. Bet yet I don't want my problems to affect my daughters schooling. But I just don't think I can let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
TakeMeasIam Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Neatly side-stepped. I say again: Alcohol is a depressive. You guys don't sound too happy. Do you? You both drink too much. Get help for that. Just to emphasise...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 We only drink once in a while. Or during Vikings games. I for one have never been aloud to talk to women . Everytime a girl comes on to me I back off immediately and get out of the situation, drunk or sober. Being drunk is no excuse for being unfaithful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 We don't have a problem drinking. However I told her that we are never going to a bar , club, or party. Again if we want to try and work things out Link to post Share on other sites
TakeMeasIam Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 You DO have a problem with drinking. Wise up buddy.... Does your wife act this way when she's sober? I doubt it. You both only behave this way when you're drunk. calling the Police and behaving this way when you have young kids? You should be ashamed of yourselves, it's a disgrace. Why do you get so drunk? Why don't you know your limits? These are the questions you should be asking. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I just didn't wanna get things escalated a the bar when we were drunk . When we got home we got in a huge arguement about it and she actually called the cops on me when I had already gone to bed 45 min earlier. Don't get me wrong I would never hit or abuse my wife or any women. The cops left right away . Because they knew I was no threat to anybody, however I did have to block a few of her punches. Why didn't you want things to escalate in the bar? From what you've said, this policy of only expressing your feelings behind closed doors doesn't appear to have made you any happier, has it? You either confront the problems between you or you carry on as you have been for some time. If something you do doesn't work, why keep doing that? Her hitting you is domestic violence. And drink can make your lives worse used incorrectly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 She is treating me like I am in the wrong. She told her parents some bs story and got them mad at me until I told them the whole truth. I am very close with all of her family. Link to post Share on other sites
TakeMeasIam Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 How can alcohol be 'used correctly?' Even one drink alters the chemical and electrical impulses in the brain, and destroys a few liver cells to boot.... As you can tell I have zero tolerance, having been at the sharp end of someone who imagined they could handle their drink and didn't have a problem. This couple - has a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
TakeMeasIam Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 She is treating me like I am in the wrong. She told her parents some bs story and got them mad at me until I told them the whole truth. I am very close with all of her family. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Does your wife act this way when she's sober? Drink is a dis-inhibitor and clearly, when drunk, your wife's desire for sexual contact comes to the surface. I imagine you don't have a satisfactory sex life between the two of you. That will be hurting both of you. Counselling with a marriage or sex counsellor is something to consider. Banning all outings and fun will just make you both more unhappy if you don't get to the heart of the problems between you two. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 Arguing in a bar never ends well with couples. I didn't want her to storm out pass out somewhere and freeze to death or get arrested . The cops thought nothing of her hitting me that night for some reason it was ok for her to do it. We both know what happens when a man gets physical... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 I am not banning all outings and stuff. Just the ones where the main activity is drinking Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 How can alcohol be 'used correctly?' There's a difference between using for pleasure and using to self-medicate and also addiction. People who drink moderately live longer. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Arguing in a bar never ends well with couples. Not expressing yourself and standing your ground didn't end well either. I didn't want her to storm out pass out somewhere and freeze to death or get arrested . Understandable, but I think your main reason was because you were scared of being made a fool or her temper. That's okay, I've certainly held my tongue at times because of that. But you can make your feelings felt without getting angry, without losing control and whatever happens you made it clear what you felt. That alone will make you feel better. Say what you feel at the time. Don't get violent. Just express yourself. The cops thought nothing of her hitting me that night for some reason it was ok for her to do it. We both know what happens when a man gets physical... Then the cops were wrong. File a complaint. The physical abuse you are suffering will also be affecting your children. Just where are you going to draw the line? She's violent and is humping other guys in front of you. What does she have to do for you to say "no"? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 You do make a good point with the drinking and I am strongly going to look at myself. What do you think I should do aboutmy daughter? I do not feel that I should ruin the teacher career by reporting him. It was wrong of him and unprofessional. I don't want to ruin his life Because my wife was being a drunk ho. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 He was also being a drunk bastard. He deliberately poisoned you with more drink in order that he could bone your wife. Don't you feel even just an ounce of anger towards him for screwing you metaphorically so that he could drill your wife literally? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 I am going back to sleep now. I thank you for your insight on this issue and I have some choices to make. Take care... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 Everyday I wanna go drag his ass out of his house and beat the he'll out of him with a baseball bat Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 If you did that, what is likely to happen? The cops will arrest you. But you want to get him out of your life, right? Not reporting him for unprofessional behaviour is going to achieve what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 But I know that would help in the longrun Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jzon Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 Would you report him? Link to post Share on other sites
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