sniffys Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 what does it mean..is it a good or bad sign? Link to post Share on other sites
ReturnToSender Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I dont know...when my ex husband and I got engaged, we were all fru fru lovey dovey...then again, our engagement was only about 2 days and then we married, so we didnt have much time to start an argument lol My ex bf and I had our first argument when we decided to take the step to moving in together. It seemed like everything set him off, everything set me off and we started fighting all the time. It was wildly confusing and annoying because we were together for a year and a half at this point, and were able to communicate and settle disagreements no problem, and it never escalated to a full blown argument. Soon after that we broke up, but it had to do with both of us...he was scared of taking that step, decided he wasnt ready for that level of commitment and started cheating on me..I was always afraid that our relationship was going too well and would fall apart any moment anyway, and so when he started cheating and we broke up, it validated my fears. In other words, we were both screwed up lol! But thats just us...and not saying thats where you are. Just guessing that its just some fears coming into play, not necessarily as big as the ones we had, or will have the impact it had on us...but Id defininitely talk candidly with him and work together to find out why you guys are arguing more to get a handle on it and make sure it doesnt escalate. Link to post Share on other sites
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I think it completely depends on the couple. For me and my man, we had been anxiously waiting to get engaged for a number of years (waiting for stability/the right financial conditions first), so it was kind of a relief for us to actually do it! I feel like we fight less now that we're where we feel we "should" be. However, it's also pretty common to fight when it comes to wedding planning. So if you're fighting more now, I probably woldn't worry about it. Unless it's fights about nothing or petty things, then it might be subconscious discontent. But wait it out and see the source. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 What are the fights about? I think it's normal to argue more when your engaged because of wedding planning and the highly stressful nature of that. Also you begin making plans for the future, which may involve some conflict. I know for my husband and I, we fought more the few months until our wedding because we were so stressed out. After the wedding everything went back to normal and we were happy again. So I would say it depends on what the fights are about and how bad they get. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sniffys Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 thanks for the replies. well i havent been married at all, although i was engaged before when i was younger (23). my current bf and i fight whenever his friends are over, like i'd send him a msg asking him something and he wouldnt respond, or reply pretty late. i dont know, it just irks me. its like when they are around, he forgets i exist. he and i have been single for a long time before we became a couple. i would never make a scandal in front of them, but i just wish he wouldnt forget me quickly like that. i already told him about this issue several times but i see it keeps happening. ever since our engagement became official, its been kind of having its highs and lows. im also worried if i am a tad bit overreacting, i dont want him to fall out of love with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Fugu Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 We didn't fight at all during our engagement, but then again, we didn't plan a wedding; we just got married. I think that's what made it easier for us as a couple. We saved the fighting for my family. Seriously, I think one reason why people begin squabbling after engagement is because it's the beginning of another phase in the relationship. Dating is good and all that, but it's not the same as getting married. That's when you really find out whether or not you all are going to pass the test of time. When you're just dating, it's all fun and games, and it's romantic, and you can just relax and have fun. When you get married, you have to make decisions together -- some of them are serious decisions. There's less romance, but if you choose the right partner, you can still have the same amount of love. Link to post Share on other sites
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