ReturnToSender Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 i wanted to ask her to hangout cuz it would get her used to me being "clingy" Seriously??? Okay I give up. Do whatever you want.. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 ummm @layzie and @returntosender... DO U really understand the shiit ur typing?? neither of u have yet to explain shiit! again, all u guys say is "oh dont talk to her no more, cuz its just the best way. i said so." You have yet to answer the questions that i need... I have no idea what nc is. I figured IGNORING her was something totally different, and rude. such as seeing her in school, if somehow she waves at me, what am i gonna do??? i can hear u guys now, "oh he just doesnt understand, ur suppose to slap her when she tries to look at u!! thats the point of nc! this guys hopeless!" whatever... i always figured dropping her out my life, and downright ignoring her, are 2 totally different things. Im all for totally dropping her out my life, but if i straight up IGNORE her, that would make her an enemy. and that wouldnt make her MISS me it would just show i FOR REAL moved on, and she'll be pushed away FOREVER... i mean i wanna cut all contact w/o losing this person forever... WHY CANT ANYBODY UNDERSTAND THAT??? if u cant, dont even bother replying. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 ummm @layzie and @returntosender... DO U really understand the shiit ur typing?? neither of u have yet to explain shiit! again, all u guys say is "oh dont talk to her no more, cuz its just the best way. i said so." You have yet to answer the questions that i need... I have no idea what nc is. I figured IGNORING her was something totally different, and rude. such as seeing her in school, if somehow she waves at me, what am i gonna do??? i can hear u guys now, "oh he just doesnt understand, ur suppose to slap her when she tries to look at u!! thats the point of nc! this guys hopeless!" whatever... i always figured dropping her out my life, and downright ignoring her, are 2 totally different things. Im all for totally dropping her out my life, but if i straight up IGNORE her, that would make her an enemy. and that wouldnt make her MISS me it would just show i FOR REAL moved on, and she'll be pushed away FOREVER... i mean i wanna cut all contact w/o losing this person forever... WHY CANT ANYBODY UNDERSTAND THAT??? if u cant, dont even bother replying. here's a guide - - two in fact: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81399/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ i'm not sure if either of these will help as it doesn't sound like you're ready for NC and if you are - - it's not for the right reason. at any rate - - now you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 I understand that the MAIN reason of nc isnt to get ur ex back. and thats what i want... BUT ive tried everything already i think of. Ok so lemme just re-word my question. If i want my ex back, after trying EVERYTHING i could think of, what do i do now??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 here's a guide - - two in fact: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81399/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ i'm not sure if either of these will help as it doesn't sound like you're ready for NC and if you are - - it's not for the right reason. at any rate - - now you know. These are actually GREAT guides... thanx... it cleared it up for me that, if my ex REALLY wanted to contact me she could... and i should be able to tell whether or not she wants reconciliation or just to talk... if shes comes back wanting to try again then of course ill pick up the phone, just a day or two later like it said. and if she tries to contact me for any reason other than gettin back together, she gets IGNORED... is this nc?? I think i finally got it lol... Link to post Share on other sites
ReturnToSender Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 (edited) ummm @layzie and @returntosender... DO U really understand the shiit ur typing?? neither of u have yet to explain shiit! Theres a really great guide to NC on here that I have saved in my favorites, it answers all the questions about why you should do it and what the benefits are: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t54435/ If you take the time to do a search , that will bring up a lot more guides, advice, tips and members sharing thier experience with NC. From the type of questions youre asking, its clear you didnt even try to do some research on here and read up or anything. Theres a lot of info on here.... Looking over what Ive told you, Im really at a loss as to how I have yet to explain things to you when I gave you a direct link I keep in my favorites that answers all the questions you have, on top of sharing my personal experience with you... In no way did I say anything that deserves insulting me, cursing me out and freaking out on a tyrannical rant that I havnt tried to be helpful enough. I didnt do anything to deserve that and youve officially freaked me out and Im putting you on block now. ETA: fml It appears I cant even block you...oh well. Edited March 15, 2011 by ReturnToSender Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 Looking over what Ive told you, Im really at a loss as to how I have yet to explain things to you when I gave you a direct link I keep in my favorites that answers all the questions you have, on top of sharing my personal experience with you... In no way did I say anything that deserves insulting me, cursing me out and freaking out on a tyrannical rant that I havnt tried to be helpful enough. I didnt do anything to deserve that and youve officially freaked me out and Im putting you on block now. ETA: fml It appears I cant even block you...oh well. ummm why are u even still commenting here. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 If i want my ex back, after trying EVERYTHING i could think of, what do i do now??? Go NC.... The only option you have is to go NC.. You have to let her be able to miss you in order for her to miss you.. If you keep in her face she will never miss you. The reality Shawn is that you won't get her back. Everyone here is trying to help you with that.. but..... The only option you have is to go NC and let her miss you.. if she never misses you then you win...if she does miss you and contacts you then you win also... Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 These are actually GREAT guides... thanx... it cleared it up for me that, if my ex REALLY wanted to contact me she could... and i should be able to tell whether or not she wants reconciliation or just to talk... if shes comes back wanting to try again then of course ill pick up the phone, just a day or two later like it said. and if she tries to contact me for any reason other than gettin back together, she gets IGNORED... is this nc?? I think i finally got it lol... your welcome. eh - - sort of. but be prepared - - she may not contact you at all to reconcile. in which case you've laid the foundation to move on; which is what the guides are really for. NC is designed to get you back - -not your ex. if you keep contacting her you're just going to re-enforce the decision that she made the right call by dumping her. staying away and sticking to NC helps you regain your dignity and helps you to focus more on you. at the very least, you won't be driving yourself crazy trying to play her games. i have to admit - - i've had my slip ups too - - which is fine; we all do. but the guides do a great job of explaining why it is so important to maintain NC. so good luck! it sounds like you're on you're on the right track! Link to post Share on other sites
Layzie89 Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 ummm @layzie and @returntosender... DO U really understand the shiit ur typing?? neither of u have yet to explain shiit! again, all u guys say is "oh dont talk to her no more, cuz its just the best way. i said so." You have yet to answer the questions that i need... I have no idea what nc is. Shawn, you're a fool. Get your ass off these forums and check yourself into some mental institution okay? We've been explaining to you for 3 pages already what you should do, and why you should do it and you still come back criticizing. You say you've tried EVERYTHING and it hasn't worked...have you ever sat and thought that maybe doing NOTHING is the best thing to do? Seriously bro, if you're going to insult us, the people you came to to try and help you through this...you're a ignorant fool and TO BE HONEST: If I were this girl I would NEVER want to date you, let alone GET BACK WITH YOU. You're far too immature for your age and you obviously have no common sense when it comes to relationships or how to handle them. Get lost Link to post Share on other sites
Winterborn Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Hello, guys... Desperate person here.... NC didn't do good to me. If you're interested in my story, it's here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t264095/ I stopped pleading, I was cool, pretty much neutral, agreed on being friends... then entered a 30-day NC. Then I decided to ask him how he's doing, and got short, extremely cold replies. We started talking more, but I noticed that he was even worse than before. He's simply stuck in believing I'm a negative person, no matter what I tell him! He said if I go on like this we can't even be friends... but really, he doesn't make sense at all. I showed his emails to my best friends and they can't find my fault. I'm simply going to pieces here, as I can't let go of the perfect relationship we had... he didn't even tell me it's over... last time he said he loves me and "time will tell"... I know he has huge potential to be a great partner. How in the world can I show him the smallest bit of positivity? I did all I could, but he's like blind.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 Hello, guys... Desperate person here.... NC didn't do good to me. If you're interested in my story, it's here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t264095/ I stopped pleading, I was cool, pretty much neutral, agreed on being friends... then entered a 30-day NC. Then I decided to ask him how he's doing, and got short, extremely cold replies. We started talking more, but I noticed that he was even worse than before. He's simply stuck in believing I'm a negative person, no matter what I tell him! He said if I go on like this we can't even be friends... but really, he doesn't make sense at all. I showed his emails to my best friends and they can't find my fault. I'm simply going to pieces here, as I can't let go of the perfect relationship we had... he didn't even tell me it's over... last time he said he loves me and "time will tell"... I know he has huge potential to be a great partner. How in the world can I show him the smallest bit of positivity? I did all I could, but he's like blind.... DONT ask anyone on this forum, theyll just tell u to "stop talking to him forever and leave him alone" and if u dont "you should be in mental institution".... LMFAO!!! anyways... @art critic and radio darcy, THANKS for the positive advice. u guys actually make me understand WHY im doing NC, and just saying "do it because its the best way"... and i guess the last part of NC i have to grip is that she may NEVER want to come back... but i mean if im over her, maybe i wouldnt want her to come back anyway. so like u said its a win-win situation for the dumpee... Thats all i wanted to hear! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 NC is NO CONTACT... Not No contact for 2 days and then contact... or whatever number of days and then contact Pure unadulterated NC means MONTHS of NC not a few days... If a person is going to miss you you have to give them time to miss you... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 and i guess the last part of NC i have to grip is that she may NEVER want to come back... You are right... If she does contact you later that is icing on the cake. Link to post Share on other sites
Layzie89 Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 DONT ask anyone on this forum, theyll just tell u to "stop talking to him forever and leave him alone" and if u dont "you should be in mental institution".... I never said if you dont do NC you should go to a mental institution lol...clearly you have trouble reading. Understandable though, for someone with your mental capacity. We all offered advice to you shawn, 3 pages of it. We offer advice because weare ambassadors of our word, we all know first hand how it has helped us. You criticize us for not giving you reason and our REAL life stories...but as I've said before..somtimes you have to do a little reading on your part for that. I know, reading might be difficult for you but you have to try man. People aren't going to come here and type their whole breakup story just for you, you're not that special shawn. Well, you are but you know... You're 22.and in college. If you want real life stories, first hand accounts Its not rocket science to use the search function on the forum. Make yourself useful. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Hey Shawn... Cut yourself some slack.. breakups suck and throw in some heartbreak and it makes it tougher.. What you are going thru isn't an unusual occurrence, most of us have been there.. and it does hurt.. The thing to remember is that going backwards isn't an option.. only going forward.. Chin up.. go NC and things will start looking up.. Link to post Share on other sites
Beeotch Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 She smart enough to know that if you "hang out" that it's either going to lead to drama about re-starting the relationship or it's code for "Can I have some breakup sex?". All it says is that she doesn't want to be around you in a physical sense as it will impede both of your healing progress. It also says she doesn't hate you as an ex. She'd just rather deal with things on her own and not have you physically in the picture. Trust most of us on LS, it's a billion times easier to not see that other person while you are fresh off a breakup. It means that you need to remove the "L" from LC and replace it with an "N" and go full NC. Ditto. She doesn't want to be mean and rude to you just because you're her ex...but most people cannot be friends with the ex shortly after the break up or else it will become very messy. She is doing the right thing and she's also being cordial instead of straight ignoring you. It is difficult and hard to adjust to being an important person to being an acquaintance...no way around it...but as time passes it will subside and if you truly want to be friends it will happen after you guys heal. But usually forcing a friendship after the breakup is a smokescreen for trying to keep the attachment through hanging out or break up sex and people ALWAYS get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 Ok... well i just deleted her off fb... And starting now in school im gonna do by best to avoid her at all costs. i felt sad erasing her off fb... but i gotta smile Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 UPDATE: i totally avoided her so far today... until i was in the lunchroom, and she walked into there cuz she musta left class late. as soon as i saw her we made eye contact for like a split second then i went back to my laptop... as she was sittin down across the room, i was packing up and leaving... i left the lunch room immediately and went to class early NOW... AS SOON as i get to class, SHE texts me! Saying "As soon as I come you leave".... ive yet to reply. it happend literally 10 mins ago. what to think of this??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 UPDATE: she just text AGAIN... Saying "ok dont answer" SO im still not gonna reply am i on the right track? Link to post Share on other sites
810 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Yes, you are on the right track. It will be harder since you still have feelings for her and wanting her back. My guess is that she will want your attention more by either doing something to make you notice or keep on reaching out to you until you reply. When you show that you don't like a person, it doesn't bother them because they still have your attention and emotion. What kills them is your indifference toward them and the situation. Practicing the NC is practicing being indifferent to the person in your past. Good luck and keep strong Link to post Share on other sites
PelicanPete Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Unless she wants to talk to you about getting back together, do not answer her and avoid her at all costs. NC is meant to clear your mind from this person and focus on yourself. After going NC with my ex I now think why I even mourned over losing a person like that, but while the breakup was still fresh I was heartbroken and confused and depressed. If she doesn't even give you a good reason for breaking up, that gives you an even better reason to not have her in your life anymore. NC is a win win because if they dont contact you about getting back together after losing you, it shows that they aren't worth all of this heartache and that they never really cared about you. And if they do contact you about getting back together, you can have that satisfaction and decide whether she is still worth the effort. Link to post Share on other sites
Layzie89 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Shawn, you're posting the same **** in three different threads in this 'Breaks and Breaking Up' forum. For our sake, keep it simple and in one thread. Maybe start a 'Shawns NC Log' thread... Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 You're racking up the pages here! Attention maybe?? Disrespecting people's genuine contributions, definitely! It's as simple as this. Change your phone number, go NC and start healing. Life isn't a bunch of games and thrills. If she wanted to be with you she would be...if she wants you back after having time without you, great, you win, but all this stuff over 4 pages, you're ruminating over a current lost cause. Respect yourself, keep your dignity and do the above. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shawn923 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 Shawn, you're posting the same **** in three different threads in this 'Breaks and Breaking Up' forum. For our sake, keep it simple and in one thread. Maybe start a 'Shawns NC Log' thread... Lol i know i just wanted to make sure everybody i talked to saw it... if i could erase all these and start a nc log i would Link to post Share on other sites
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