Lost and lonely

[blondebarbie]

See guys,

 

I have a child involved! So I can't just have no contact with him!!!! I was there again today! Then left! Then I called him and he said for me to come over that the door was opened! I held him all day long!!!! He held me too, but he won't let me touch him (sexually)! He told me he loves me and will always love me! I asked him if he was IN-LOVE with me? He won't answer? I asked him if this girl he was seeing, Does he love her? He said no! It's been only 2 months!!!! He said she is a good girl! I asked what that meant and he said "She never did me wrong!" I never did him wrong neither! He just thinks I have! I swore to him that I never did!

 

I don't know what to do! I am sooooooo lost! He really doesn't have anything going for him neither! He is a cook, just got his drivers license at 34 and doesn't have a damn vehicle! and is staying with his sister! So WHY? WHY am I flipping my lid! At first I thought he was using her for a ride to work! But I don't know anymore! He even seems distant from his son! He spends like 4 hours with his son then like 10 with her!

 

He said that he went through what I am going through now! He said that I hurt him! I have to get a grip! I can't take the pain anymore! I am trying to be strong for my son! But I can't! I cry at the drop of a pin!

 

He has told me this is the new him. He likes the way he is now! He said that he can do what he wants!

I don't believe him! I don't want to believe him!

 

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE ME SOME GOOD STRONG ADVICE TO MAKE ME SNAP OUT OF THIS???

[Jamma]

hey Barbie,

 

I have not got any children and so I don't think i can give you any advice about what to do because I can't begin to understand what the love for a child is. All I can say is I am going through a break up with no kids involved and I am finding it really hard. I am really sorry that I don't know the advice that you need to hear as i really feel for you at the moment. I wish I could say more to help.

[MarKus]

Originally posted by Jamma

 

I think the answer to your question about the person who ended the relationship then acting oddly if they see the other person getting on with their lives without them is them taking your reaction to it all for granted. They assume that you will fall to pieces and beg them to have you back and when this doesn't happen they don't like it. How can they be over me and moving on? They just don't expect that. Thats why sometimes the no contact approach can bring people back together because thay have to start chasing you.

 

Thanks jamma....i was going to post a thread to ask a question like this....but i didnt need to.... cos you already answered it 4 me

[Heartfelt]

Originally posted by sarah42

Wow Heartfelt, that was really brave of you going out and meeting someone else. Good on you. I wish I could do that but I'm just not ready to. What I don't understand though is why some people who end a relationship then start to behave in an odd way when they see their ex 'moving on'. Is is jealousy? Is it because they don't like to see their ex with someone else, even though THEY ended it? I'm not sure if my ex has started to behave in this way. I don't see him to talk to, but I do see him and a couple of times he's run past me when he didn't have to. Was he trying to get me to notice him? I also talk to his friends (not about him though) and I wonder if he is jealous of this. But why would he be jealous when he finished with me? When I do see him, I stand tall and proud. Is this getting to him?

 

Barbie - I would love to know the answer as to why we want someone back who's hurt us. Common sense tells me to forget him but my heart just won't let me. I can't let go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stand tall and proud with someone new holding your hand or right by your side and I'll bet ya he comes after you. If he doesn't, then he never really cared anyway. And while you're with someone else while around him, try your best not to look at him or notice him as he walks by, act like he doesn't exist and when he tries to contact you, just be happy, say you're busy and can't talk and don't give in to him. On that first call, keep it short, less than a minute. If he calls back within the next day upset and saying how much he wants you back, do what you want, but don't give away everything if you give in to him. Make him prove he really wants you back. You'll see it if he really means it, and if he doesn't just try to forget him and move on. Life's too short.

[Heartfelt]

Originally posted by blondebarbie

See guys,

 

I have a child involved! So I can't just have no contact with him!!!! I was there again today! Then left! Then I called him and he said for me to come over that the door was opened! I held him all day long!!!! He held me too, but he won't let me touch him (sexually)! He told me he loves me and will always love me! I asked him if he was IN-LOVE with me? He won't answer? I asked him if this girl he was seeing, Does he love her? He said no! It's been only 2 months!!!! He said she is a good girl! I asked what that meant and he said "She never did me wrong!" I never did him wrong neither! He just thinks I have! I swore to him that I never did!

 

I don't know what to do! I am sooooooo lost! He really doesn't have anything going for him neither! He is a cook, just got his drivers license at 34 and doesn't have a damn vehicle! and is staying with his sister! So WHY? WHY am I flipping my lid! At first I thought he was using her for a ride to work! But I don't know anymore! He even seems distant from his son! He spends like 4 hours with his son then like 10 with her!

 

He said that he went through what I am going through now! He said that I hurt him! I have to get a grip! I can't take the pain anymore! I am trying to be strong for my son! But I can't! I cry at the drop of a pin!

 

He has told me this is the new him. He likes the way he is now! He said that he can do what he wants!

I don't believe him! I don't want to believe him!

 

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE ME SOME GOOD STRONG ADVICE TO MAKE ME SNAP OUT OF THIS???

 

 

 

 

I really feel for you. I know what crying at the least little thing is like. It's hard to get any enjoyment out of anything during the day and you just want to get through so you can go to sleep and hopefully wake up the next day feeling better. Some days are better than others, and sometimes you feel like you are moving past it, then a hard day appears. You have to spend time with friends and family. Rent some comedy tapes or go to a comedy club. Get out. Take your son to the park, meet up with others with kids. You might already be doing all of this but I just wanted to be sure. If he doesn't want you, you have got to stop holding him, hugging him or anything. Just STOP! Because what will happen is you will have a period where you might be feeling strong and starting to get over him, you're climbing your way out of it and proud of yourself; and once you cuddle with him, POW, back to the ground floor. Try to meet someone new. Trust me, not all guys will run from women with children. I love children and the woman I've been in this "on again, off again" relationship has an adorable little boy. I love him to death and he always wants to sit in my lap or wants me to hold him when I'm around. He's 14 months old. I just got back from seeing them and he finally took his first 3 steps on his own while I held my hand out to him. She can't even believe how much he takes to me. But there are a lot of single men out there who don't mind seeing a woman with kids. Get out there and float your number around to some new prospects that you feel will be worth you and your child. You have to move on.